If you want a partner, you need to take your focus away from finding a partner.

Yeah it sounds like a paradox at first. But it’s not only possible, it’s what you have to do if you want to heal, grow and be happy-all prerequisites for having a partner anyway.

The key step to this is to stop trying to date for an indefinite amount of time. Take all that energy and dump it into growing and exploring. Take on new and unfamiliar activities. Connect with new people and make an effort to make friends. Pick up some social hobbies you enjoy. Travel to unfamiliar places. Try new foods and pick up new skills. You have to force yourself out of your comfort zone.

Additionally, you should go out and do things alone. Now what I DON’T mean is to stay inside and play video games or binge watch TV all day. Actually go interact with society. Even if you want to do something quiet and relaxing, like reading a book, do it in a place with people around-parks, libraries, bars, etc. Have light conversation with baristas, bartenders, strangers, etc. But do things solo, in public.

You must immerse yourself in people. Socialize yourself and discover yourself. You will fulfill yourself to the point where you no longer care whether you have a partner or not. Which is precisely where you need to be mentally to attract someone anyway.

Does doing any of that make you feel weird? Doesn’t matter, nobody else cares what you’re doing. Learn to be uncomfortable. I’m fact, chase that feeling. It means you’re growing.

Keying in on your own growth and independence is the only way forward my brothers. Good luck and godspeed