I had an epiphany the other day, that as I've gotten older, and have been married twice and learned so much along the way, that my default has become leaving, rather than forcing a connection that is either weak or just not there. And that, queens, should be the default.
Can you imagine? AITA (which I love for the lulz and upside down worldview) would nearly cease to exist, along with advice columns. I've noticed how so many ask basically the same thing: how can I make someone ___? With just a modicum of introspection and casting one's mind back over the non-relationship, you can clearly see a pattern: if they wanted to, they would. If there were care, attention, concern, real interest, they'd make an effort to stay in touch and be part of your life.
Let's normalize leaving and continuing to be independent, which is the default state anyway, until it's accepted as just how things are, and coupling up is something different. Not to say that trying out dating isn't normal; it's quite normal, and you don't know who you'll click with until you chat and/or meet.
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I was “in love” 🤡 with one. He crushed my self-esteem and he enjoyed it. Mr. Nice guy became a sadistic monster overnight, it left me so confused.
From now on, I’m keeping a foot on men’s necks. You really can’t give them an inch, not at the beginning, not after 6 months… not until you’re sure the mask has fallen off. It’s not worth it.
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