Have you ever been on a date and were sick to your stomach hoping you wouldn’t have to deal with the dreaded first date kiss? Or had to deal with men touching you incessantly? You were probably the victim of a redpiller/PUA. If you ever go to any of the seduction subreddits or read any seduction books you’ll notice that most advise men to break the touch barrier early.

This a form of subtle coercion. They advise to do this because it forces you to adjust to a certain level of touch with a stranger you haven’t fully consented to. This breeds a certain level of familiarity in the right conditions. Most men knowingly using this tactic will start off with small things like touching the small of your back when you’re walking through a crowd, touching your arm, or putting their hand on your thigh or knee.

When done right it can convince you that you have chemistry, especially if one of your primary love languages is physical touch. I am a person who loves physical touch so I thought nothing of this tactic until I dated a man who would brag about the pickup tactics he would use. The one he frequently mentioned was the touch barrier.

He would say if the man doesn’t break the touch barrier in the first interaction, they are more likely to get friendzoned or not get laid. Clearly only the wrong type of men use this tactic, but fortunately, it’s pretty easy to spot. So ladies, if a man is being awfully handsy on a first date, block and delete. He doesn’t respect you and is only interested in one thing.

I’ve only been courted properly by men who were afraid to touch me in fear of turning me off. Men who are comfortable touching you early on are testing your boundaries to see how far they can go with you. Luckily most of us get the ick when this happens but when the man is attractive and ticks all our boxes be especially weary and vigilant.