Do you do low energy, short message, infrequent texts with guys you genuinely like? How low is low enough that a guy should get the hint and leave?

errrright · 2022-01-28T23:20:14+00:00

I can’t speak for every girl but when I was actively dating and talking to men, I wouldn’t really text at all with guys I wasn’t interested in. Like, I used Tinder and I would just unmatch with guys I decided I didn’t want to pursue.

My texting style for guys I was interested in would be consistent and thoughtful, but distanced. Like, throughout the day while I was working I might reply a few times and then be a bit more active during the evening. My texts would always be engaging and show an effort to make conversation though, even while I was busy. Also, I would always show a clear interest in setting up an actual date and make those plans within a couple of weeks.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-28T23:09:42+00:00

If I'm giving you low energy, short, infrequent messages, it means I probably either find the conversation awkward or boring, or I'm busy. If you've tried being as interesting as you can be and it's been more than a day (so she's not busy at a particular moment), it's probably not worth waiting to see if things get better.

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-01-29T01:26:00+00:00

If a guy doesn't ask me out within a week I will block/unmatch. If there are no plans to meet during the first conversation I'm going to start taking longer to reply. I'm not looking for a pen pal

Federal_Bat_5355 · 2022-01-28T23:53:35+00:00

I send them messages frequently, albeit short ones. I ask them what they're doing, if they're drinking well (if i know the well enough). If I find something interesting like a video or something happening IRL, i'll tell them about it first. I constantly pester them about when we'll call on discord or if they have plans the next day...

I'm really selfish and one-tracked so I don't look to spend time with any guy who I'm not really into as a friend or (potential/current) boyfriend. I won't text my friends as much, but I think a bigger sign that the girl probably isn't interested is if they want to spend time hanging out with you or not rather than how much they text.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-01-28T23:56:02+00:00

I tend to give whatever energy is given to me if I like the guy. I do sometimes take a little longer to text if I’m nervous and want to think about my response a bit.

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-29T04:02:04+00:00

I text much more with the man I’d like to be in a LTR with than the men I am just getting to know but I generally return texts in a timely manner. If a guy is constantly double texting though, it feels like he’s trying to own my time. Say your thing, wait to hear back, and move on if she doesn’t text you back in a timely manner.

Grantmepm · 2022-01-28T23:36:44+00:00

As a guy, I only initiate text to organize dates. Granted this includes semi-related discussions gauging potential date activities. I find being forced to reply constantly a bit of a drag so I guess women find similar.

tiposk · 2022-01-28T23:45:33+00:00

I'm not really a fan of messaging, but I try to reply. That said, if a woman doesn't like messaging she will still find ways to communicate with you by phone or face to face.

EdessaKandros · 2022-01-28T23:16:21+00:00

I am blunt. When I used to date I would just flat out tell boys I wasn’t interested, no point texting them back and hoping they get the hint that I wasn’t interested. I don’t have time to waste, my youth is my ticket to lock down the best guy.

goatismycopilot · 2022-01-28T23:23:53+00:00

I dislike texting and use it for logistics.

1962_beta-simp · 2022-01-28T23:16:21+00:00

Why would any sane guy continue texting with a such one?

Lonely_23_1997 · 2022-01-29T01:03:53+00:00

I might do this if I’m busy or stressed. But I usually will give a heads up that I’m going to be busy unless it was something completely unforeseen that I didn’t plan for. If a woman does this to you and she gives no heads up she either doesn’t like you, is extremely shy or she finds the conversation boring but isn’t interesting enough herself to pick up or she’s put in the effort and got nothing from the guy so she’s matching his energy.

LittyKitsune · 2022-01-29T02:34:44+00:00

No.

Unfortunately(?) I find that guys are so used to getting that they come on really strong when they come across an exception.

I had a guy start talking about moving in together after about two weeks of my signature paragraph-long texts answered in the format of assignment discussion prompts. It's funny because when I was a teen people considered it a weird quirk of mine. Now guys are like "marry me."

Bouldershoulders12 · 2022-01-29T03:45:19+00:00

As a guy I usually take it as that. Especially if she takes days to text back no one is ever that busy. But that’s why I usually just text to set up dates/meet ups. If the convo is thorough and entertaining I’ll match the energy though.

HemluckMcGee · 2022-01-29T03:50:11+00:00

I usually am very responsive when texting most people. I try to engage and ask questions back. I only do curt replies if they message me first and I just don’t feel like talking or if I’m busy. If I’m going to be away for awhile I do try to give a heads up

Ian_Campbell · 2022-01-29T08:28:30+00:00

I matched energy trying not to be clingy in a long distance prospective relationship and it ended because of it. I was the one waiting. Clearly she was finding a way to blame me to end it, either that or trying to find a guy with no spine. I was not going to be guilt tripped for HER drifting away for like a month.

06534956 · 2022-01-28T23:51:32+00:00

Texting isn’t a way to show or receive interest. Texting is a communication tool, and should be used as minimally as possible.

Spend actual time together, go on dates, be around each other in person, and use that as your guide for whether or not she is interested.

If you’re going to be apart for a while but still want to connect, FaceTime or call her to chat for a bit. Let her hear your voice and see your face.

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-01-28T23:30:58+00:00

If I wasn’t interested in a guy who liked me I’d tell him flat out or ghost if he persisted

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fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-01-29T01:42:36+00:00

I've only ever gotten relationships with my friend circle, but when I was in tinder i was more of a text to meet up person.

wtknight · 2022-01-29T02:05:45+00:00

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RinoaRita · 2022-01-29T12:58:50+00:00

The secret, which I don’t think is that secret because guys definitely do it too, is that she’s keeping you around as an option. Likely ,there’s someone she’s more into right now taking her attention.

Most people aren’t sociopaths that explicitly think haha let’s troll people and lead them on for fun (I mean there are troll accounts I guess) but you’re stuck in the “ok this guy isn’t bad kinda cute but there’s a super hot guy chatting with me so let me put my attention and effort here but let’s give this other guy just enough attention so in case this other guy doesn’t pan out maybe he’ll still be an option.” Zone.

So my advice would be just keep her as an option if that’s what you want too but don’t be fooled into thinking you’re priority.

nikki1810 · 2022-01-29T17:23:33+00:00

If they arent apologizing are explaining why the texts are infrequent, move on. Even if someone is incredibly busy, if the relationship is important, at some point they will explain why the texts are infrequent ( maybe their busy, or are going through something). But, if they are just decreasing the amount of communication with you, and only give you short messages they are most likely either trying to distance themselves from you, or they just are forgetting about you, and if either is the case, you should leave.

xDankHorse · 2022-01-29T17:52:57+00:00

Women who frequently leave you on read, take 24+ hours to respond even though you know they're online, are always "too busy" to meet up, or even worse, they flake on you or simply don't show up to meetups, are almost always never interested in you.

Women will rarely be direct with you about their lack of interest/attraction towards you, and to be honest, this isn't always a bad thing. Let's put it this way, you probably don't want a woman telling you that she finds you fat, ugly, or poor and that's why she rejected you. Unless you're in middle school, most women aren't going to be this blunt, even though that is sometimes the reason they reject you. So just listen to the signs that a woman isn't interested and don't bother with worrying why she isn't interested, because oftentimes, you probably don't want to know the answer to that question.

SwimmingAd9458 · 2022-01-29T21:12:32+00:00

Back in the single days I simply told them I'm uninterested and hoped for them not being psychopaths trying to kill me for revenge. (Only two of them turned out to be psycho) I do NOT entertain low effort texting and ghosting. That's humiliating. It's only justifiable if, in case of honestly turning him down, you're afraid to be harassed or physically hurt as a consequence by him .

AngelxEyez · 2022-01-29T22:38:53+00:00

Im a poor texter I just cant make myself stare at a screen and stay engaged I’m often accidentally leaving half typed messages never to be sent. Thankfully my boyfriend listened when I told him I was like that with everybody and id prefer to only text for logistics.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-01-29T04:01:55+00:00

I reply when I see the message. It could be 5 minutes or two hours and I dont expect them to make every contact.

I dont bother texting at all with a guy Im not interested in.

I dont consider it ghosting or anything at all until we've been out on many dates or full blow dating and they vanish.

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