Dating Market for the 40 and up crowd?

DorianneGrey · 2022-06-12T14:34:01+00:00

As a woman in that dating market, I have found that the odds are good but the goods are odd…

On OLD, hatfishing, heightfishing, and geezerfishing are the norm.

“Athletic” is the new “Morbidly obese but played football in junior high”.

Etc.etc. I’m sure it looks similar from the other side as well.

That said, there are some wonderful people who are sincere and respectful. It’s just a matter of whether or not their baggage matches your baggage 🤷‍♀️.

Head-Language-2977 · 2022-06-12T15:13:29+00:00

The dating market is good for a 40+ man if you are in shape and dress decently, keeping in mind that looks are king.

(41M) I got divorced at 40 and joined Tinder to jump back into the dating game. I believe I have an average face, and the people on the True Rate Me sub have twice put me between a 5 and 5.5. I do go to the gym regularly so I am at a healthy body weight.

I’ve had more dates in 3 months on Tinder at 41 than I ever had in my 20’s on the dating apps. I obviously have the same face and body; I do think the competition is less fierce for 40+. This year I averaged 3 to 5 matches a week and at least one date a week for my first three months on the app. I must strongly emphasize that I only put 5 minutes of effort into my profile and have no professional pictures. I honestly believe not being overweight is also huge for my success in getting matches and getting dates. Getting laid is a different problem for a different discussion 😞

The two reality checks I’ve had are as follows. First, I’m finally matching with my looks match (5s and 6s in the face, and a healthy body weight), but not hot women either. As silly as this may sound at first, matching with my looks match was not possible in my 20s and I think most men on PPD on dating apps would agree that experience. On the other hand, non-overweight women 40+ still have their pick of the litter and IMO still have the upper hand in the dating market. Not that I ever wish “the wall” on women, but that concept seems to be more myth than reality. The women I match with gets tons of matches and explain their problem is seemingly all men only want hookups and nothing even half-way serious.

Second, the problem I’m facing is it seems very few women 40+ are interested in casual dating. Unlike most men, most women are lucky enough to be able to get that fun out of their system in their 20s and 30s. Now they’re done playing and want to settle, or are divorced and want to resettle quickly. If you’re a man looking for an LTR, you’ll definitely have options with your looks match post 40.

ebonythrowaway999 · 2022-06-12T16:38:30+00:00

Dating has gotten increasingly easier as I've aged. That's due to the fact that men like me (fit, childless, baggage-free, successful, financially secure) make up a smaller and smaller percentage of the dating pool as people age.

The biggest issue I'm facing now is that a lot of women my age (50) look like my grandmother.

And she's dead.

Younger women are definitely an option as women in their 20s and 30s hit on me more now than they did when I was that age. But the problem with significantly younger women is that I don't have a lot in common with them. The last time I went out with someone in her 20s, I wanted to blow my brains out. The cultural divide was just too vast.

NockerJoe · 2022-06-12T20:37:02+00:00

Most of the older women I know will freely fuck younger men and brag about it. Of course when they try to lock down an older man and he goes for someone in their 20's they get salty about it but they're both essentially playing the same game by the same rules.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-06-13T04:04:46+00:00

As a man it's crazy good. Much better than my early 20s. I have such a large pool of woman is crazy from 23 to 40. I only did 40 once. . So many choices. After a brake up at 38m hit it had and managed to sleep 12-16 different woman per month I clocked up 26 it 2 months youngest 21 oldest 40 and most around 30 give or take. Before I slowed down to spin plates. If your a man I would sugest you leave the dating market and focus on yourself first, get your body right, get your mind right. It's a very different world now, no dating just mating lol. The sex you used to value is nothing and the older single woman are very experienced making inexperienced you an easy target.

SmurfESmurferson · 2022-06-12T18:40:48+00:00

It’s like any other dating market - some people are in high demand, others aren’t

The biggest difference is kids. If they want them, they have them by this point. The women who do have them are generally reluctant to marry again, so as not to fuck with child support

I would think that would be good for guys, honestly

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-06-12T14:28:26+00:00

I'm reaching 40 and haven't been as successful ever in my life.

I literally got stopped and hit on straight by the bar's cutest girl last Friday. I couldn't believe it, my friends couldn't believe either and I was having a blast. That shit could have never happened in my 20's.

This girl was 29.

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-06-12T23:18:25+00:00

It’s been good, especially if you keep your weight right and aged well. I have a more defined face now than I had in my 20’s (last time I was single) due to just natural aging pulling in the cheeks on my baby face, so I think I look as good if not better in the face, kept my hair as well, think my style is actually better now. I don’t have the body I had, but I think I’m further ahead of the competition as I have 25 years of weightlifting under my belt and am the strongest I’ve ever been. I miss the abs I used to have, but I don’t look like I have a belly with a tucked in shirt, just can’t get that last bit of definition.

I don’t know the OLD scene, I did that first and went on 2 dates with women about 40 lbs heavier than their profiles….my draw has always been my personality though, more than my looks, so approaching is definitely more my style. I’ve done Tinder a bit for fun when I’m traveling, but that’s it.

The hookup/fling scene at my age is fantastic. As good as when I was young, less drama, and a lot less work. Half the women in it are married though, so there is that, but I’ve stopped giving a damn. The other half are divorcées who just want some occasional good dick when they don’t have the kids or mid/late 20 somethings who like older men.

Just such a large swath of women I can approach who give me a sign they want to talk and my life is pretty conducive to do it (I travel a good amount for work and do multiple sports leagues). From women in their 20’s to late 40’s. When I was in my 20’s it was a lot of women in their 20’s, and an occasional cougar, now the younger women all seem to think I’m early 30’s as they don’t know the signs and the women closer to my age can tell I’m just young looking.

In the 3 years since filing for divorce I have easily had more sex than the last 10 years of my marriage with only 2 actual “dates”, haven’t went more than 3 weeks without sex since my first time after my ex….and I do still sleep with my ex occasionally.

It’s a damn good age to be a man as long as you have maintained your swagger and confidence.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-06-12T19:54:49+00:00

It was okay for me. I found myself single in my mid to late 30s and started dating again at 41. I was just looking for casual at first but I did hope to eventually find someone, which I did. Lots of divorced men, single fathers and younger men looking for cougars. I met my partner after about a year of being back on the market.

Early_Ad_7425 · 2022-06-12T13:53:57+00:00

There’s plenty of average women and men who have become even worse than average as age has done a number on their face and bodies. There are a few men here and there who maintain their body, but they can’t escape bald. For the women who do workout and maintain their shape and face, it’s slim pickings. Whereas hot older men can have more options of younger females, but even then that delivers a mental age gap. However, if you marry young, you’re probably going to be in a dead bedroom anyway 🤭🤭 basically I have no advice, other than just workout and be in shape, eat healthy and die alone.

purplish_possum · 2022-06-12T15:02:57+00:00

a lot of them are breaking up marriages for rather trite reasons.

The stated reasons are seldom the true reasons. The majority of divorces are initiated by women who lost attraction when their husband didn't meet expectations (doesn't matter if the expectations were reasonable or not) or when a couple's relative attractiveness changes (e.g. she loses a lot of weight) and she feels she can do better.

If a woman was expecting her husband to be making 160K after a few years but his career got stuck at 80K he's toast.

If a woman has weight loss surgery and full-body makeover (inc. tummy tuck and new boobs) the husband who paid for her improvement is on his way out.

jingleofadogscollar_ · 2022-06-12T11:56:19+00:00

Same as every other demographic.

If you're female and you're a 4/10 or higher, you'll do fine. For men, 7/10 or higher and you'll do fine. For everyone else, it will take a lot of work

TeddyMGTOW · 2022-06-12T21:16:31+00:00

The guys can only get softies and the gals are dry as death valley.

Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2022-06-13T01:15:48+00:00

Trite reason: “I know my worth.” He did not love me the way I wanted to be loved. Interpretation he did not abuse me, cheat, or abandon me but thought She could do better. Once with the new guy he abused, cheats, or abandons her. Now all men are bad.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-06-12T15:04:57+00:00

I really doubt they are trite reasons but good luck. The older women get the less they want to live with men.

-passepar2t- · 2022-06-12T12:49:40+00:00

My shrink says it's pretty good. But he's the kind of white loser who went to SE Asia for the bitches, so.

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freespirit1963TJ · 2022-06-12T18:03:30+00:00

I was dating back when internet dating sites were kind of a new thing. The main things that stand out in my mind is, you know just about everyone has some baggage going in. People seem to attract and be attracted to the same type of people. If you are divorced and/or have kids your priorities have changed since you were dating previously. Some still struggle understanding staying out of a relationship until the newness has worn off.

Entiox · 2022-06-12T21:01:21+00:00

I'm a nearly 50 year old guy and I've never tried Tinder, or any other OLD. I've been in a relationship for the last 5 years with someone who I've known since we were in our early 20s. I do have to say that for some reason after I turned 40 more women started flirting with me, and not just women in my age group. A couple months before the COVID lockdowns began I was at a Lords of Acid show and was hit on by 5 different people, most of whom were at least a decade younger than I was, and one was probably 20+ years younger than me.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-06-14T20:00:25+00:00

A handsome fit employed 40yr old man gets pussy for days. 27-50 skinny hot women with jobs (and often kids)

Title	Dating Market for the 40 and up crowd?
Author	GlobalGift4445
Upvotes	21
Comments	108
Date	June 12, 2022 11:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vajt5i/dating_market_for_the_40_and_up_crowd/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-market-for-the-40-and-up-crowd.1116298 https://theredarchive.com/post/1116298

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