Women’s dating issues are a result of a very very small percentage of men, and they attribute those behaviors to all men

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-09-15T10:52:54+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

Caring_Cactus · 2022-09-15T05:43:22+00:00

How about it's not a sex war, and emotionally insecure people with inflated egos (both men and women) fuck other people up for their own self-serving needs.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-09-15T07:04:32+00:00

As a guy I don't necessarily think it's a very small percentage of guys that exhibit bad behaviors. I'm a guy, I know how guys think, and there is absolutely no way in hell I'd be cool with most men talking to my sister, for example.

I'd concede that women overstate how many guys are shitty though, in part because younger women especially tend to gravitate towards those sorts of guys.

chalkandapples · 2022-09-15T08:39:09+00:00

Most people don’t have significant issues finding a good relationship. The expressions you hear are from the perspectives of people that are having problems finding a partner.

Not all women are good, but from the perspective of a guy that gets no attention. Because of this, he might not have the mental space or willingness to worry about the specifics of the girls for now when he doesn’t see a viable path to getting any girl’s attention.

Most men are fine, but some women either due to her social circle, culture she grew up in, bad luck, or her own personality / mental issues might have dated a disproportionally number of bad men.

Also as I read more and more on relationships, I noticed that people tend to extrapolate conclusions from a very small amount of data points from personal experiences, and they will be very certain about those conclusions. For example, some guys think they’re completely unattractive to girls or girls may think all guys are terrible after only 2-3 bad experiences.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-15T07:35:41+00:00

It might be misogynistic and say that men are looking for good women in a field of gold digging hoes but it's the truth. People especially women just say it's misogynistic it's misogyny because they don't like those facts it's unflattering so they are quick to say that "you hate women" which is a lie. The reality is that most women want a man with a whole lot of money and they know one of the best ways to get money out of a man is to have sex with him for it. For women are convinced their vaginas gold and diamonds so they put a high price on it a very high price. They want a man who could afford them the lavish luxurious. Granted you do need money for a serious relationship but a man should be making money for himself first and foremost before even thinking about using it to maintain a relationship. Pretty much women look at men as success objects if a man ain't making damn near million dollars he ain't shit. He's garbage. Women will complain about and bash and belittle men for having money struggles but they themselves be the broke ones as well. This is why I say men should never EVER try to impress a woman with money because money is only going to attract him gold digging hoes looking to sell him pussy. When it comes to shitty men usually shitty men are extremely sexually arousing to women so because he may have tons of money and be muscular and aesthetically pleasing she overlooks and ignores his red flags and lets him do whatever the hell he wants with her and to her and abuse her nonstop. Even if a girl doesn't know a guy is no good for her and is no good to her she's going to know it after a while and she'll still stay with him because she's sexually attracted to that toxic bad boy alpha she can't leave that toxic Chad or that Pookie or Ray Ray alone because he dicks her down so good but he treats her like shit. Women would rather be loyal to a man who will most definitely cheat on them because he has options and other women want him then be loyal to a guy who will never cheat on him and then cheat on that man who won't cheat on her. They'll be devoted and dedicated to that sexy and toxic and sexually arousing piece of garbage who will cheat on her and turn her into a stepmother but then the same energy he gives her she'll give to a guy who actually be good to her.

risdeveau · 2022-09-15T05:47:40+00:00

Nope. I have a normal n count, almost all through relationships. Only two of those men did not display behaviors which ended the relationship — my current partner, and the one who was left behind when I moved

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-09-15T03:55:14+00:00

You’re all mixed up

Men are the ones that need to know that women are bad, even the nerdy girl in the corner that you think is cute will still lie, manipulate, gaslight, and abuse you emotionally

Which brings me to my main point (that I was going to make a topic out of) and it’s that women project their sexuality onto men

“Well jeez if 6’2 Chad came to me smiling acting nice why would I choose 5’5 Pajeet? Men only want the pretty ones too!”

Pure projection

Men are just as attracted to Shy Sally as they are to Cheerleader Becky and would fuck them both enthusiastically and give them the world and marry them

Women will tell men to just “stay in their league” but women are all attracted to the same kinds of men…

The ones out of their league

Shy Sally is attracted to the drug dealer, the jock, and the attractive alternative artsy guy

Cheerleader Becky is also attracted to those men too

The onus is on women to choose better because they are the selectors

If they keep choosing those kinds of men then meth men will become those kinds of men since apparently it works

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Traditional_Pace7695 · 2022-09-15T04:01:16+00:00

It’s more men than you think. I am a woman, and every friend I have that is the same gender has a story of sexual assault or rape or domestic violence or all of the above that was done to them by a male perpetrator. Everyone knows someone who has been sexually assaulted (men get sexually assaulted too), whether they have told you about it or not. I would also bet, in the same vein, everyone knows a rapist. Maybe not well, hopefully he’s not your best friend, but I would bet you know one. Men are looking for women to give them a chance. Women are trying to stay safe. In a lot of cases, the risk outweighs the reward as far as relationships go with men.

herefortheparty01 · 2022-09-15T11:01:14+00:00

Tried to blame men for women’s issues. Weird

fiftypoundpuppy · 2022-09-15T03:59:50+00:00

You have an extraordinarily simplistic take of "women's dating issues," reducing all of our "issues" into whether men are "good" or "bad" and then saying we're just ignorantly blaming the entire male online dating population for the action of "10%," and if we'd stop going after the really good looking guys we'd get our poop in a group.

In reality most men are fine. There’s a very small percentage of men who are bad, painting us all as dangerous is pretty misandric. If men were to say that men are looking for a good women in field of gold digging hoes, we’d be misogynists right?

Well, it's funny that you say that because you clearly must be new here. The PPD narrative is that women are incapable of loving men for who they are, and quite literally only care about his "resources." Which, of course, is misogynistic but there you are.

I agree most men are "fine." I disagree that most men are attractive and compatible to most women. That's not to say that most people won't find love, but my friends' significant others are not compatible nor attractive to me with the exception of one, sort of. I'm childfree and he and his wife just had a kid so that's why he wouldn't be attractive nor compatible with me any longer.

It's about finding someone where there's mutual attraction, mutual compatibility and the luck of coming across said individuals. It's not a struggle unique to women.

This isn’t to say there’s no shitty guys, but I think that’s the minority. Unfortunately many of these shitty guys are given license to be shitty by women because of the way they look. They get away with treating women badly and being able to get sex out of them.

This of course happens for men, we let shitty women treat is bad, but we don’t then say this is 90% of women. We know the woman is bad. Women don’t know the man is bad.

This is a weird take that I see again and again on this sub. Being shitty and being unattractive are not mutually exclusive. Nor is being attractive and being a good person. Why do PPD men keep acting like these things are correlated? One of the worst partners I've had was physically the ugliest. Not even just relatively speaking, he is almost objectively an ugly dude.

We'd also need to define "bad." Pathological liar? Actual narcissist? Layabout alcoholic who plays video games all day? People can be bad partners without being bad people. But let's take the easiest case of, say, a malignant narcissist. Both men and women would certainly not know such an individual is bad at first, because they mask their true nature extremely well and are extraordinarily adept at mirroring. They'll charm the pants off you long enough for you to fall in love, and then they'll let the mask slip a little day by day. Until next thing you know, you're walking on eggshells because you can't do anything right and you don't want to set them off because last time that happened, they kept you up until 6 am arguing with you.

Saying that men just "know" when women are "bad" is a weird blip of victim blaming in a post that is almost Trumpian in its child-like simplicity.

bunnakay · 2022-09-15T05:09:08+00:00

"Not be shitty" is the bare minimum for platonic relations. You need a lot more than that to be worth a relationship. My list of standards is LONG, and probably only 5-10% of men meet it.

Why are you confusing a moral judgment with someone just not being suitable for a relationship?

Ok-Blacksmith-9418 · 2022-09-15T04:16:39+00:00

Are you a man? Would this explain why you think most men are good?

EventSea8621 · 2022-09-15T07:54:02+00:00

yeh its funny a study was done that showed when chad treats them poorly they then think more poorly of men they deem unattractive and still fawn over the chads.

meme gender.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-15T03:59:29+00:00

Have a look at the ratio of men and women using dating apps over the last 10 years. It will give you an extremely incisive look into the subjects you're discussing here.

darkvalleys · 2022-09-15T06:00:22+00:00

My dating history begs to differ, limited though it is

vogel777 · 2022-09-15T07:55:42+00:00

Ita not that the majority of men are "bad" men or abusive, its that the majority of men expect women to do all the heavy lifting in relationships, do all the emotional labour, all the domestic shit work then when we ask for help, for an equitable contribution we get labelled as nags and bitches.

Men still think all they need to do is not abuse us and to contribute a few dollars (something they seem to resent even though women these days also contribute financially) and then they get to sit back and get taken care of like they are an extra child.

Women want partners and most men want a mother they can fuck.

toasterchild · 2022-09-15T08:25:22+00:00

IDK the more time i spend around here the more likely i am to believe more men are bad than "good"

carlenvirgo · 2022-09-15T09:32:11+00:00

Most heinous crimes are committed by men. That’s why there are far more prisons for men than for women. As women we have to be mindful of men because they are physically stronger and more aggressive. We are the ones in danger, point blank..

Iv actually found more danger in insecure men than secure men. Security equates to nobility and integrity. Insecurity results in bad behavior.

Why do you think that your intuition to know when a woman is bad is stronger than a woman’s sense of danger?

We naturally have a keener sense of danger because we bear children. All mothers in the animal kingdom are far more astute to predators than males.

newzalrt883 · 2022-09-15T09:55:58+00:00

Hot, intensely narcissistic fuckbois on online dating apps ruin it for the rest of us

John_Oakman · 2022-09-15T10:28:45+00:00

Even if only a minority of men are bad actors they are the most visible ones and thus the only relevant ones. The virtues of the non-offending males are irrelevant as they are not visible and cannot protect women from the bad men. The current morality and social norms also meant that good males have no meaningful ways to interfere with the bad men.

Psych_FI · 2022-09-15T10:33:36+00:00

I would say it’s a much higher percentage of men and would actually believe a much smaller percentage are really decent.

However, even if a small percentage of men are crap they obviously don’t have a warning sign and for many women it’s scary dating not knowing what he’s capable of. I’m sure men who’ve been through trauma understand.

It’s exhausting vetting partners and trying to determine who is a good fit and many of us have come from less than perfect family situations.

flamingoinghome · 2022-09-15T10:53:31+00:00

What do you consider to be "bad" when it comes to a man to date? Because I don't think someone has to be a "bad man" (or a "bad woman") for them to be a bad dating partner for any given person.

I actually think guys do overstate what a "desert" it is for them (or perhaps what a "swamp" it is for women) because there's a tendency in dating discourse to act like a woman's unacceptable "options" count as "options" in a way that a man's don't.

(I do not actually think this is misogyny per se--I've noticed the tendency among gay men too)

Title	Women’s dating issues are a result of a very very small percentage of men, and they attribute those behaviors to all men
Author	rogerdetanque
Upvotes	76
Comments	145
Date	September 15, 2022 3:30 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xely76/womens_dating_issues_are_a_result_of_a_very_very/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-dating-issues-are-a-result-of-a-very-very.1132955 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132955

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