Couples with a feminine man and masculine woman. Your thoughts?

Demasii · 2023-02-15T18:59:05+00:00

Yesterday for V-day a feminine coworker of mine recieved flowers from his girlfriend in the office.

He is often mistaken as gay. He is actually religious, straight and comfortable with how feminine he comes across. He plays up that character.

He talked about how he and his girlfriend play a game of giving each other gifts that it is opposite from the feminine/masculine dynamic.

It works for them. They are sweet to each other and happy. It's his own Agree and Amplify trick to get people to not harass him because he doesn't care.

bsmith440 · 2023-02-15T18:53:23+00:00

It CAN work, but I would say a majority of women do not want a feminine man while they are masculine. They just find a man more masculine than them.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-02-15T19:40:24+00:00

Who gives a shit? There are going to be women who appreciate the lack of adherence to gender norms (I myself am one). There are going to be men who like being able to be true to themselves without feeling judgement or ridicule because they don’t fit the cishet idea of what a man is. If these people are happy, what gives anyone the right to judge them?

FemboyApocalypse · 2023-02-15T20:08:02+00:00

So what are your thoughts on couples like this? And how feasible is it?

There are more feminine straight men seeking masculine women than the inverse. This is typical across all facets of male-female relations because men are simply more variable than women in just about every way.

To see how these dynamics would play out just look the D/s subculture, where straight male submissive are pretty much ignored except as a source of income. Your scenario above is just the Zoomer take on that sad fate for most men.

houstongradengineer · 2023-02-15T20:46:00+00:00

I don't know why a couple would care about my opinion lol. This is not a situation where anyone is a questionable person. No red flags or anything. There's literally nothing wrong with presenting any way you want. My personally subjective feelings are literally the least important thing.

But, hey, you asked! I think there's nothing sexier, more freeing, and more comfortable than being who you want to be. Unfortunately, having a strong personality can be polarizing. Having a personality or a presentation that challenges existing social structures will present even bigger obstacles. Looking out for your own health and safety is #1. Queer presenting people are more at ease in California than Texas for sure. Being in a supportive place helps. This couple was able to be open with each other and tend to have complementary desires- which is critical. Whenever I've been open to new things or defying expectations, the enthusiasm of my partner makes a huge difference. They found someone who is compatible on the same path, which is great. I imagine that being open to feminine fashion is much more interesting for the man, who would have otherwise been boxed into boring fashion by society. I also imagine thing stay interesting in this couple's bedroom. Good for them. Doing things just because other people say so is stupid anyway.

AnUnstableNucleus · 2023-02-15T20:54:01+00:00

a feminine straight guy named James (who's ironically a black man)

What?

tropicalazul · 2023-02-15T18:51:08+00:00

I see this in very liberal circles and there are even women out there that openly say they want a feminine man / ‘bisexual’ man.

I don’t see anything wrong with the relationship because its two grown ass adults consenting to it.

My personal opinion is that I wouldn’t want a relationship like this and I am not attracted to very feminine men.

CimZim · 2023-02-15T20:34:53+00:00

I'm in that kind of relationship and it works extremely well, because neither of us need to act unnaturally or by traditional gender roles.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-02-15T21:23:04+00:00

I love couples like this and it's much more feasbile in big cities where people can be who they want to be without reservation.

blueshinx · 2023-02-15T21:30:12+00:00

Literally who cares as long as they’re happy

januaryphilosopher · 2023-02-15T20:08:48+00:00

I'm in such a relationship. It works for us; we complement each other. Perfectly feasible and works just like any other relationship but sometimes with a different person doing things than you'd expect. I guess a problem would come up if either of us was insecure about not fitting stereotypes, but we got over that as teenagers.

PonderingPeaches · 2023-02-15T21:39:38+00:00

Who cares?

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2023-02-15T22:20:12+00:00

Working out great for me so far

Workaholiconew · 2023-02-16T01:07:25+00:00

They can do whatever they damn please...

I would never want a masculine woman, and so would most men... but if an effeminate men want that person? not my god damn business.

lolthankstinder · 2023-02-16T01:27:03+00:00

I think if you compare the dating attention/chances received by women with conventionally masculine qualities (e.g. built arms, muscles) vs dating attention/chances received by men with conventionally feminine qualities (e.g. thin, small, submissive), the woman will have a lot more luck which represents a double standard in modern society. There are plenty of men willing to date tall, built, muscular women, but there aren't many women willing to date short, skinny, submissive guys.

Birb-brained · 2023-02-15T19:11:04+00:00

I see no issue. I myself think I’m more drawn to men with personality traits that Red Pill guys would say are ‘feminine’ such as emotional intelligence, empathy, kindness etc. my own partner leans much more this way, despite LOOKING incredibly masculine (hulking tall Irish lad). And I would say I have quite a few masculine traits in my personality) based on What RP classes as masculine) such as being ambitious, hardworking, ‘go getting’, however I also visually present as very feminine looking.

GooseneckRoad · 2023-02-15T19:18:11+00:00

Seems like a good, balanced relationship! I prefer much more feminine men.

RegTextoffender · 2023-02-15T20:18:51+00:00

Beards.

Beard is an American slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation.

For you zoomers out there.

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-02-16T10:35:01+00:00

The fact that so many women are praising this is exactly why you DO NOT TAKE FUCKING ADVICE FROM WOMEN HERE.

Seriously. Seeing men engage with the women on this sub and seriously ask them questions about women's preferences really scares me as to just how starved so many men are of real world engagement with the opposite sex.

EBZ1722 · 2023-02-15T19:29:09+00:00

It's exceedingly uncommon because it doesn't make sense from an evolutionary perspective, people who are into this are basically just an anomaly.

YuekiXC · 2023-02-15T19:25:42+00:00

Bro you're posting on a sub where the majority of the women lean left and have some very negative takes on the "patriarchy." Give it some thought fr

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2023-02-15T21:54:30+00:00

If it works it works. Find yourself a masculine woman, and both of you need to read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida in order to better understand the roles of the masculine and the feminine.

Lucr3tius · 2023-02-15T21:05:11+00:00

My aunt and uncle were like this. Married for maybe 20 years with two kids, then divorced because the dynamic grows exceedingly unpleasant. She resented him tremendously for being as passive as he was and you could hear it in her voice because I believe deep down women do not enjoy operating this way. It's not "in their element" and the unreasonable hostile "bad bitch" mentality is proof of this. He wasn't really overtly feminine but he wasn't a leader.

Women do not have the same "toolbox of aggression" that men have, and do not natively understand the appropriate amount of force to apply to a situation with any nuance. Any man ever engaged in a bit of light hearted teasing with a girlfriend can confirm this, as they will wallop you as hard as they can almost as a baseline reaction. They also know they can't hurt you so they don't hold back. Another example is when I was a teenager my mom would react the same way with a little teasing, pop a knuckle right in a thigh or my upper arm/shoulder and frog the heck out of it. A woman's scale for the escalation of the use of force is like 1, 50, and 100, where as a mans scale is every number 1-100 representing a gradient of force. I guess in the same way women can see a much larger gradient of colors than men, men can employ a much larger gradient of force than women.

For my aunt, screaming at the top of her lungs at her kids across the house was common when we would visit... when any small issue would arise for seemingly menial chores or a cup left on a counter. It's like they don't have the scale of proportionality to judge what an appropriate amount of force is. Think of it like a baby rattlesnake that doesn't yet understand how to control its venom. If you're not aware of this, btw... baby poisonous snakes are much deadlier than their adult counterparts because of this inability to control the amount of venom they inject. It's a key marker of adolescence, which may be why women are never able to grasp this scale. It's why younger men, specifically who don't play sports, have a harder time with violence.

Anyway, after ~20 years of marriage turns out she was a lesbian I guess or perhaps she was so accustomed to being masculine/butch that the only dynamic she could find that would work would be with another even more masculine woman. Her kids hate her, by the way, in their own words want nothing to do with her. Her ex-husband remarried an actual feminine christian virgin (but she's one of those 3 out of 10 liberal (i.e., not really a christian) psychopath women who believes its her responsibility to be offended at everything on behalf of every minority group on the planet... but only online because real life activism would require effort and it's not really a cause she cares about anyway she just likes the social media up cummies.)

I feel sorry for my uncle though.

So, bottom line for OP... yea these arrangements don't work because they're unnatural unless you find two people who are exceptions to the rule and who stay that way.

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Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-02-15T19:06:39+00:00

All 5 of them?

MarBitt · 2023-02-15T19:35:40+00:00

There are girls and women who like attractive men outside the traditional masculine role. Non-binary, gender fluid and the like. Why not, there is something about such men and if a woman is attracted to this type, a classic masculine man can hardly compete.

He's an outlier for outliers, but when two of them find each other, they can be very happy together as long as they don't let mainstream society interfere too much in their lives.

northernlights190 · 2023-02-15T21:08:47+00:00

It definitely can work, it’s just a minority of them. But people who prefer that dynamic tend to find each other through their social niches anyway.

svarowskylegend · 2023-02-15T21:16:37+00:00

That relationship is a niche, and its dynamics cannot apply to the vast majority of the population.

The man in that video is gay in every way except for the part where he doesn't like men

lordpigeon445 · 2023-02-15T21:31:15+00:00

What I've noticed is that feminine straight men are rarely single since they generally have many female friends and are often in relationships with "girl power/ girlboss" women ie. women who are feminine in a militant/masculine way. These relationships often start as friendships and also feel more like friendships. Feminine men frankly are the only ones that can put up with these women, these are the couples that go to kpop concerts, always get Boba, always post on social media with those stupid filters, and are generally very liberal.

Edit: This dynamic is most common amongst zoomers, I'm not sure how this plays out in other generations.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2023-02-15T23:40:14+00:00

Wdym by "heeled shoes" most classic male shoes are heeled or are you talking about a Jimmy Choo pump

ChudBuck · 2023-02-16T00:39:54+00:00

That helga is actually kinda hot. Could've given me strong Bjorns and Knuts to continue my bloodline. Damn shame

tropicalazul · 2023-02-16T01:37:11+00:00

It works obviously. My sister is feminine looking but very masculine to the core, and her husband is masculine looking but more feminine in behavior.

What ever works for people. I’m assertive and strong but I lean more feminine. I prefer men who lean more masculine but are in touch with their feminine too.

KayRay1994 · 2023-02-16T05:06:18+00:00

i mean good for them - usually that’s what tends to happen, it’s a yin and yang dynamic. A more feminine straight/ bi man is likely to attract a more masculine straight/ bi woman. The masculine/feminine dynamic works, and if the man is feminine and the woman is masculine, then both partners are fulfilling the need they’d rather be fulfilling

Title	Couples with a feminine man and masculine woman. Your thoughts?
Author	LeftWingLich
Upvotes	9
Comments	105
Date	February 15, 2023 6:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11358oc/couples_with_a_feminine_man_and_masculine_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/couples-with-a-feminine-man-and-masculine-woman.1152551 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152551

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