Change my View : Most Humans would cheat or replace theyre Partner if the "New Partner" is way more "high Value" then theyre old Partner

Gravel_Roads · 2023-02-21T11:12:00+00:00

All you're saying is "most people have a price eventually."

And while true, you're vastly overestimating how hard it is for most people to reach that price threshold, because most people also happen to put a lot of value on the people they've spent a lot of time cultivating a relationship with.

propyl21 · 2023-02-21T12:39:51+00:00

Here we see another young mind who has never been in love.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-02-21T11:19:29+00:00

I think that you're ignoring the value that's built up during a relationship. That person knows you and you're comfortable with them, you've worked out that you're all kinds of compatible, you know their personality beyond the surface, you've built up emotional closeness, etc. So it'd be more difficult than you'd think for someone with more value to come along when you take into account every bit of value.

Ok-Professional3832 · 2023-02-21T12:17:02+00:00

I think it depends more on how much my partner is living up to my imagined potential when we met. How much they have realized that potential through the course of our relationship.

If when we met, she described her dreams of going to college while working at the super market, and I believed she had the intelligence to do so, but she wasn’t doing anything to make it happen, your scenario is much more likely.

If she quit talking about her dreams. If she was generally being lazy, and some other woman came into the picture who had those qualities, it would be likely that I would swap partners.

There are many things involved here though. Being married vs just dating. How long we had been dating matters. How positive or negative has her growth been throughout our relationship. How self actualized she was. How much did we depend on her income. Was she financially savvy given her level of income. Did she live above her means.

Your example is almost too extreme, because on the opposite end of the spectrum to someone who is truly wealthy, I am likely just something disposable to them.

As people become wealthier they start to see more things as assets, including people.

I would imagine this feeling is more prevalent in women than men. Meaning a very rich professional athlete is going to have access to many, many many other women.

What am I providing to someone that can easily find the same qualities in lots of women unless acceptance of being part of a harem.

This is the red pill truth you don’t want to understand. Just as celebrities give up privacy and anonymity, dating someone at that level comes with known pitfalls to most women.

Using a more realistic example, say going from a super market employee to someone who works at google, I’m still not convinced that it’s as simple as you think the decision would be.

There is still a perceived power gap. People will tend to be drawn to relationships with similar socio and economic backgrounds.

It gets to be trickier when you get into a smaller gap. Say this person didn’t work at a grocery store, but instead is an accountant making close to 6 figures and the new potential partner is a business owner who is worth 3-4 million but is low key and unknown outside of his social and business circle (unknown to really anyone outside of a 50 mile radius)

There is a potential jump in perceived lifestyle here but the imagined partnership doesn’t seem to be an unrealistic jump for (I guess in this situation, me)

Let’s look at how life would change going from dating the supermarket employee to a famous athlete.

You are now expected to be dressed to the nines and attending social events and to be at your best at all times. No lazy days on the couch. You are expected to wear designer clothes, have high level fashion sense, and be knowledgeable about a large variety of topics that may not interest you.

Let’s look at the 6 figure accountant vs the business owner.

At 6 figures you can go on vacation where you want every year or two.

At a 3-4 million net worth you might go on vacation every 6 months if time allows, you might start attending classier social events or being able to pick up golf on weekends.

Remember that the money isn’t free. The more money someone makes the more often they are working (within reason). Business owners can often have greater ties to their business than their relationships. The business can often be prioritized. If a client calls at dinner time or after hours guess who has to answer that call?

Love is also conditional. The only one who was able to love unconditionally (if you believe in the story) was Jesus.

The Bible describes 4 types of love. Eros is romantic love, and agape is the unconditional love god has for us. The other two types have more to do with friendship and empathy.

This was broken down to help come to terms with the fact that humans are not perfect.

When things drastically change within a relationship, for better or worse, through sickness and in health often goes out the window when confronted with that reality.

This is simply human nature. I wouldn’t want my partner to stay if I suddenly needed her to change my diaper. I’m no longer the same version of who she met and would want her to find someone she could lead a more normal life with, and it is because i understand that love is conditional.

literaryhogwartian · 2023-02-21T11:15:56+00:00

I would not swap my darling husband for anyone. Not richer or cleverer or more objectively handsome.

PonderingPeaches · 2023-02-21T11:39:39+00:00

Never cheated. Never would. I married my husband because I don’t want to ever have to even try to replace him. No one ever could.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-02-21T12:12:31+00:00

As somebody who technically left their ex "for" an objectively better partner, all I can say is, if I was happy with my ex, if it was a good relationship, I would have never even noticed another man.

John_Oakman · 2023-02-21T11:55:52+00:00

Technically true in the same way as a spherical cow in a vacuum: sure, every man (and woman, and others) have a price for everything, but most of those conditions are so ludicrous that it's effectively pointless to speculate outside of winning a debate in theory debating places such as here...

Different_Weekend817 · 2023-02-21T13:34:13+00:00

Nearly everybody will Jump ships if the next Option is WAY BETTER then her old, for example.

wins the most obvious statement on the internet. like if you could choose between a cheque for £1 and £1 million which would you choose? stop taking the piss.

in real life the situation in the op would never ever happen tho. if you date 5s you're not equally attracting 10s. sorry Cinderella, it's just not happening. bearing in mind here, Sara is 'dating' Joe. they aren't in a serious relationship nor are they married.

Revolutionary-Swim24 · 2023-02-21T11:26:06+00:00

Cheat not necessarily. Replace, perhaps, but one has to understand that there is a concept of subjective value (a word I sort of coined but imo hits the nail on the head insofar as what's missing in the red pill worldview.) There's things that make people high value in the universal sexual marketplace, or to every guy/girl. For example, height as a guy, money, weight, humor, body count as a girl, etc. However, there's also things like chemistry, values, sexual performance abilities (while these are to an extent objective, it's also to a large extent not), a shared future, memories, children, trust, etc which said new person doesn't have, even if they're "high value." Todd V (a... somewhat purple pilled PUA) summed this up rather nicely by comparing it to a customized tailored suit, versus an expensive suit off the rack. Now, if with ones present partner, things are meh, sure, plenty of people would leave for someone else.

Also, while virgins are not immune from cheating, this is part of why body count matters; a girl who allows only someone who she genuinely loves (as in, subjectively values in a deep way) to have sex with her and hasn't given herself over to many people, is a lot less likely to branch out and look for someone whose simply more chad, because to her, intimacy is meaningful and contingent on subjective value (and furthermore shed know that by monkey branching she'd be essentially be breaking an extremely unique and meaningful bond she created and invested in.)

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ring_shopping · 2023-02-21T11:05:37+00:00

I think most people would do a lot of shitty things if they were given the opportunity. Nothing new here. You can still choose to live above that standard and associate with others who also do.

uglysaladisugly · 2023-02-21T13:02:00+00:00

Basically most humans would cheat or replace their partner if they fall in love with someone else.

Well, yes.

Andre27 · 2023-02-21T13:14:39+00:00

The issue is that if a woman shows interest in a man she is generally interested in a relationship as well. Not just sex. And women in general show interest less.

Mr Athlete isnt interested in a relationship with joe schmoes average girlfriend tho. He just wants to fuck. But miss average is delusional and thinks the athlete wants a relationship with her so she jumps ship for dick just to realize that dick cant carry her across the ocean of life.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-02-21T13:29:36+00:00

I disagree. If the only think you need your partner for is material things, then yeah you’re going to replace them.

But if you want your partner for the person they are, then literally no one else can be that person for you. And no matter what, so long as they are still being themselves and that person isn’t harming your life, you will still want them for who they are.

Not what they look like or what they do for you materially.

You’ll want them because it’s that person that you created memories with.

PsychologicalHand155 · 2023-02-21T13:43:18+00:00

Are you talking about dating or marriage?

Dating? Absolutely.

Marriage? No.

You would be a fool to settle for a lame man/woman. Marriage is when you commit to someone for life. Dating is the trial periid

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-02-21T13:56:30+00:00

Either Sara severely underestimated her level of desirability and is way out of Joe’s league, or the athlete is not for real and wants a casual hookup at most. This is a mostly pointless thought experiment since people tend to date people more or less in their league. No athlete or model is coming to sweep average Jane or Joe off their feet just cause they’re so darn nice and quirky like in some romcom.

When it comes to more realistic “upgrades,” anyone who isn’t married or engaged (or living as such), is fair game to some degree imo. If you truly feel you can do better, you must not be in love and might as well move on and do better, because you won’t be happy with your current partner and they won’t be happy either in the long run. Move on and give them a chance to find someone who thinks the sun shines out their ass.

Now when marriage and kids enter the picture, things change. You made that commitment, hopefully to someone you’re head over heels for and wouldn’t trade for the world, and shouldn’t even be looking at other people as options.

Part of this is just maturity and realizing what being in love vs just liking someone enough to date them is. Your partner won’t be perfect but should seem perfect for you, or as close as possible.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-02-21T14:15:29+00:00

And you've stumbled upon exactly why it's so stupid to treat the dating market like a literal market. Someone's dating "value" is not dictated by rationality, it's contingent on a hundred different nebulous and fickle factors. In a happy relationship, a person's "value" increases over time. I'm obviously going to value my wife far, far, far higher than some random single dude would.

So my Point which i am trying to make is that i believe that Nearly everybody will Jump ships if the next Option is WAY BETTER then her old, for example.

The problem is you're viewing "way better" from the perspective of an outsider. People in the relationship have a very different assessment of their partner's "value."

ComplexProjection · 2023-02-21T14:18:08+00:00

If I really had the choice, I would prefer to keep my current partner and add the new high value woman.

ashleyrose56 · 2023-02-21T14:48:04+00:00

The reality is that other options are always going to exist. There is always someone prettier, richer, smarter etc. These other "better" options become invisible when you are within a happy amd fulfilling relationship. The more time you are in a relationship with someone, the less likely you are going to leave them for shiny new person because you are growing more attached to them and humans don't want to throw away a relationship they already invested in over the years.

Title	Change my View : Most Humans would cheat or replace theyre Partner if the "New Partner" is way more "high Value" then theyre old Partner
Author	Acrobatic-Button-454
Upvotes	3
Comments	46
Date	February 21, 2023 9:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/117z67f/change_my_view_most_humans_would_cheat_or_replace/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/change-my-view-most-humans-would-cheat-or-replace.1153059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153059

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