Hello ladies, I’d like to tell you about a dating experience I had before the holidays. I live in a country with extremely low covid cases so it’s fine to date. This is a reminder to not get blinded by someone’s charming personality or looks and to always follow FDS values.

I met what seemed like a good guy: good job, extremely smart, many topics of discussion, seemed interested in my profession and life, decent looking. We talked for 3 weeks, we had many phone and video calls and would spend lots of time talking and discussing things as we had lots in common.

I noticed that he seemed a bit shy (I mistook this for shyness) to ask me out. He asked me on a date a week in advance (which is good) but didn’t plan anything right away. Red flag 🚩 #1, I should’ve stopped talking to him right then and there. He followed up on his date idea the following day and asked me when I was free. We agreed on a day but he didn’t specify the time. 🚩 #2. He then asked about the time the following day (so 2 days since he initially asked me out), and decided on the area the next day, 3 days since he asked me out and 4 days before the date. 🚩 I was going to be in the city that day and the plan was for him to meet me in the area I would be in. We had been talking for almost a month at that point so I didn’t see it as a problem. And I need to mention that I did not see any red flags in the conversations! None at all.

Now to the date: he was late 🚩and when we met he said “where do you want to go?”. Meaning 0 prep on his part. He seemed like such a put-together guy that it didn’t cross my mind that he would put 0 effort into our first meeting (I am not calling it a date at this point). He took me to a nice restaurant, things were going okay until he asked for separate bills! 🚩 I was floored. I drove myself home since I had my car in the city where we met. He messaged me saying he had a great time and wanted to see me again. Blocked, bye.

I don’t understand guys who like a girl yet do not put ANY effort into their date. He works a time consuming job (as do I), so you would think that if he’s dedicating time over the course of 3 weeks he would at least try to close the deal by having a good first date and impressing the girl.

Moral of the story: drop him at the first sign of no preparation for the date, regardless of how great he seems. If he doesn’t decide the time right away and doesn’t let you know where he wants to take you. Do not mistake this as him being shy or nervous, he just doesn’t give a shit.