I'm sure someone has made a similar post to what I'm about to say before, but I really just wanted to get this off my chest. Its the #1 thing that I notice in non "gender war" subcultures that ticks me off the most, even though I might otherwise like a community where this term is common because it doesn't have any other radfem talking points.

  1. It is heterosexist. It assumes that only men can be interested in seeing beautiful, feminine women. Bisexual and lesbian women who may want to see that don't exist in the minds of the radfem overlords, or at least they don't matter.
  2. It also assumes all men are straight (or at least bi) and that gay or asexual men who aren't interested in seeing sexualized women don't exist.
  3. It assumes that women are only sexualized for men's benefit. In other words, that there aren't any women who revel in their sexuality and enjoy feeling cute/pretty/beautiful/desired, either in and of itself and/or for practical reasons (like a paycheck). You could see this as infantilizing women, too, by implying they aren't mature enough to consensually sexualize themselves.
  4. Where is the "female gaze?" I never hear people saying the opposite even though pop culture is rife with very traditional forms of sexualized masculinity as well. He Man, Thor, Captain America, Superman, the list could go on. I don't think there has ever been a single positive depiction of a male hero in any form of popular media who had a feminine gender expression, and wasn't portrayed in a campy gay stereotype kind of way. I myself am a cis guy with a highly feminine gender expression, and I would really love to see a heterosexual male hero that I can relate to. But I don't, and you know why? Its because like butch women, that's a highly niche subculture, and it isn't what the vast majority of people want to see, so companies don't want to waste money appealing to a smaller market. Yet do you hear me shaming women for their sexuality and complaining that they are objectifying men with the "female gaze" every time a burly dude shows off his 6 pack abs in a movie? No, because shaming people for their sexuality is puritanical and regressive.
  5. Ironically, many of the same people who use this term unironically will also kinkshame men who like more butch-presenting women as well. For example, calling men who like masculine, muscular, or assertive women "mommy dom" seekers. This proves it isn't just about gender expression but about framing male desire as inherently predatory.

TL;DR: Male gaze is basically a code word for "women are depicted in a traditional feminine-beauty kind of way and that's evil for some reason".