Ex-feminists of this sub, what made you turn away from feminism?

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-05-14T14:53:22+00:00

blatant misandry
blatant double standards
blatantly fake factoids
all the other bullshit...

RobynInTheDeep · 2023-05-14T17:13:50+00:00

Many instances of them purposely misquoting a lot of studies to fit their narrative and immediately telling me I'm "internally oppressed" whenever I point it out.
Purposely ignoring any study or data that doesn't support their narrative.
Labeling just about any toxic trait that can be easily applied to both sexes as toxic masculinity.
The way a lot of them so casually make the most horrendous statements about men in casual conversation. Things that would definitely make them go apeshit if the same is said about women or <insert any group>
Speaking on my (and other women's) behalf followed by the most hateful and toxic statements that I would never support
Seeing first hand how false rape accusations destroyed my friend's life even though he was proven innocent and how feminists I knew would use all kinds of mental gymnastics to still make him seem like the bad guy because any recognition of the existence of false accusations would destroy their world. He eventually committed suicide.
Shouting "That's not real feminism!" whenever being confronted by the hypocrisy while never calling out the "not real" feminists

It mostly comes down to hypocrisy for me. I always hated tribal mentally. I think it's important to take men's rights just as serious as women's rights if you're gonna claim you're for gender equality. The ones that are always quick to point out that's exactly what feminism stands for are the same people who are guilty of at least one of the points I just listed. If you truly care about gender equality you'd be supportive of others who do too rather than worrying about whether they label themselves as feminists or not.

Bowlnk · 2023-05-14T13:43:02+00:00

When feminists protested a mens health siminar set up by the guy who lost 2 friends to suicide.

Tilt_Flock · 2023-05-14T13:47:17+00:00

Realising both sides need equal rights, and that both have their struggles. I now think of myself as an egalitarian.

AspirationsOfFreedom · 2023-05-14T14:45:51+00:00

Heavy trauma related to women (abusive mother, ex who falsely accused me of rape socially, another ex cheating) caused me to very rapidly grow quite misogynistic. As in, "not a feminist so he must hate women", but as in i applied negative qualities to all women and assumed malice over ignorance. This was back in 2012-2013.

So i took 3 years away from dating, traveled, grew. Got more experience. And since those days i havent called myself a feminist even once

Substantial_Ad9301 · 2023-05-14T15:59:32+00:00

Realizing that women are more privileged by the west. I also didn't like being attacked for asking simple questions

bluewater778 · 2023-05-14T17:17:37+00:00

I realized how privileged women are and realized they're not these perfect angels that can do no wrong.

SampleHistorical9352 · 2023-05-14T15:09:01+00:00

All the ugliness of their behavior

odoof12 · 2023-05-14T15:24:19+00:00

I was a mgtow as a kid about 11-13 I turned away from it because sandman the person I was primarily listening too started to be weirdly homophobic and by this point I already knew I was atleast bi.

I stayed anti feminist for a long time until around 2019 where I started watching vaush on youtube and started to agree with some of his takes on gender and so I became a feminist but I never really dropped any of my opinions on mens rights. and then covid uplifted and so I was able to really see behaviors in high schoolers noticed a lot of women are just toxic and that women who claimed to be feminists were "rapey" and then I was sexually assaulted went to the police they blew me off and realized how much society REALLY fucking hates men. and then started to do some actual research found out feminism actively supports men being raped and abused and then I stopped. I drop female friends who say anything misandrist immediately now and im not shy as too why either. and im working on helping my male friends see their worth and drop toxic women in their lives.

I still watch vaush occasionally and hes gotten better about calling out sexist women and double standards he even has a video now about a woman sexually assaulting a man and another on insane fear mongering from suburban white women. but that dude has a miles to do still.

[deleted] · 2023-05-14T18:31:29+00:00

I used to believe that women were an oppressed group. The more I looked into it, the more I realized I was being lied to. I could argue that women are in numerous ways more privileged than men and that men are now the disadvantaged in our society. Then there’s also the sheer amount of misandrist vibes I kept getting from the feminist movement. As it turns out, there was also way more to it. From the hateful things feminist leaders have said about men, all the times they protested and shut down events to address men’s issues, to the times changed rape laws so that only men can be charged for rape, and a ton of other things.

goinsouth85 · 2023-05-14T13:27:01+00:00

Used to think that they were for equality. Found out they were really for cutting down men.

Professional-You2968 · 2023-05-14T13:09:42+00:00

Interacting with them and growing out of their propaganda.

GarthbrooksXV · 2023-05-14T20:20:35+00:00

The hate speech towards men. It's not about them improving themselves or their situation.

fengpi · 2023-05-14T22:29:09+00:00

The lying, mainly. The non-stop lying and tendentious conclusion-reaching. The bad ethics, the dishonesty by omission, the tendency to argue like greasy defense attorneys.

The Duke rape hoax of 2006 very sharply exposed the illiberal presumption of guilt which exists at the very core of feminism. The movement's idea of jurisprudence is a recipe for injustice.

They all complain that the way rape cases are tried is wholly inadequate, so I asked "what would a feminist-approved rape trial look like?" and they can't give a straight answer. They want the defense's hands to be tied, they want to disallow cross-examination, they want evidence to be unimportant. They just want a guilty verdict to be reached on the basis of an accusation, all facts and due process be damned.

limefork · 2023-05-14T20:21:06+00:00

The usual list of suspects. But also knowing that I was the parent of young men. That really upset me to know that there was a huge group out there that didn't want them to succeed or be respected in any way and wanted them to be harmed. That really is what pushed me away from feminism. I couldn't be a part of a movement that thought my children were less than simply because of their gender or sex. That really boiled my bones.

Forcetobereckonedwit · 2023-05-14T15:45:08+00:00

The glaring reality of female solipsism. Also with age, you just see things much more clearly. If you take away lust, women lose almost all their value.

CrowMagpie · 2023-05-14T20:29:07+00:00

I don't remember if I ever called myself a feminist, but I used to be completely on their side.

Then one day, I realized my toxic levels of self-loathing were tied to buying into the message of 'all men are… illegitimate' that I was constantly hearing. That feminism was spreading.

trashtony69 · 2023-05-14T21:18:54+00:00

I used to be a feminist and I used to participate in ideals I don’t agree with anymore. I’m glad I grew up, did my own research and formed my own opinions. Basically I became tired of the constant man-hating, the misdirected anger of feminists, the incorrect facts/statistics blurted out of their mouths to fit their agendas, the refusal to acknowledge men have problems and the refusal to look at the proof to support it, and the never ending double standards.

ElisaSKy · 2023-05-14T18:05:22+00:00

To answer this question, I'll need to answer what made me a feminist.

I was told about how men were just violent brutes whom were in power and used that power to oppress women. I was naive enough to believe it.

And then after a series of unfortunate events, I started to look into it more. Turned out that men don't have a monopoly on rape, nor on domestic violence, but women had a near-monopoly on using laws written by these so-called "oppressive, male dominating bastards" as a weapon of rape and DV, as well as a near-monopoly on lying to police (you know, these mostly men enforcing the law that supposedly "oppresses women"?) to get them to inflict crazy abuse on men they claim to love, as well as a monopoly on using the threat of a false accusation as a weapon of actual rape ("stop struggling [against me raping you] or I'll scream for help and say you raped me!").

Turned out that the reason men supposedly rape more than women is it's just not called rape when women do it. Even if the physical and psychological aftereffects are roughly the same.

Also, turned out we knew women were equally or even more violent in relationships for several decades, that one of the first known persons to have found that out was the founder of the first DV shelter, and that feminists stole the credit for her work at about the same time as they were picketing her at public speaking engagement, and made bomb threats credible enough to warrant the deployment of a bomb squad to sort through her mail, all for saying 40 years ago that violence isn't a male monopoly.

I was a feminist because I was naive enough to believe their BS. I left feminism because I wised up to their lies.

FreeSpeechFFSOK · 2023-05-14T13:49:24+00:00

The main reason was so few of them willing to support a house husband. That proves right there that they are not truly interested in equality and are certainly not interested in social, biological nor economic reality.

Someone taking care of the house and kids directly is extremely important. The lack of such a person is a major cause of the American obesity and disabetes crises. But since they won't take a house husband he must earn cash to find a mate.

The result is women ballooned the worker pool which drove wages down and now both must work to make ends meet. This is also part of what destroyed the middle class.

To make things worse, women also reject a man who earns less than her. So they increased competition in the workplace but don't suffer the direct consequences that men do, plus they don't compensate for what they did, and won't even admit to it.

All they have to do is either accept a house husband if they have a career, or at least accept a man that earns less money. But most women are genetically psychologically driven to accept neither situation. Therefore they MUST leave the workplace for the most part. Its the only way any of the math will ever work out.

And the math is based on things they literally cannot ever change cause its hard wired into most females. If you just start from the simple demand most women have that he must earn money and it must be a fairly high amount, everything follows naturally from there. He works and she becomes a housewife. Simple.

Zorbles · 2023-05-14T19:53:48+00:00

What happened in around 2016-2017.

It stopped being a just cause and turned into full on man hating. The extremists became the majority as gen Z started having influence.

I remember saying "fuck yeah, why not, Im a feminist" but now I would never ever want to be associated with the movement.

It's sad, really. The cultural change of 2016 fucked everyone against each other to become the most tribal and polarised.

ERiC_693 · 2023-05-14T15:53:24+00:00

While there are many problems women still face, the problem is feminism sneers at and trivializes male issues. Spreads prejudices via female dominated institutions like social sci depts and womens shelters and completely distorts data on things like the pay gap. It also promotes non evidence based narratives like male suicide is all due to patriarchy qnd all male issues are from the patriarchy. This is totally not evidence based. It is just made up to make them feel smug.

I think its a complex mix, i don't think people need to be completely anti feminists to be pro make issues.

2023-05-14T20:40:55+00:00

I never have been a feminist. But once I dated one I felt it was my duty to understand her beliefs. Let me just say... The opposite of femininity is masculinity. If one is toxic so is the other.

The really sad part is if you're not one of them you're the enemy. There is no love left in this world.

Dizzy-Ad2333 · 2023-05-14T21:52:24+00:00

I was never a feminist but I started turning away from feminism after being educated about what it was doing to society. Societal collapse is a big reason for me turning against feminism. Chris williamson's podcasts helped educate me about what's happening in society. https://youtube.com/@ChrisWillx

Off the top of my head

1) Dating market is fucked 2) Nuclear family is fucked 3) Economy is fucked 4) Legal system is fucked 5) Morality is fucked 6) Media is fucked 7) American culture is fucked 8) Expectation for the future is fucked

I once believed that women are oppressed but then I figured out that I was being played like a puppet. I used to idolize then, they were perfect angel who could do no wrong. That was just propaganda, though

thingpaint · 2023-05-15T01:38:59+00:00

I decided to share my assault experience when #metoo was a thing.

That was a mistake.

NAWALT_VADER · 2023-05-14T19:58:29+00:00

Feminism regularly engages in and encourages hate speech against half the planet, based on genitals.

smoishymoishes · 2023-05-14T18:19:39+00:00

When I realized I'd have to go to college and get a job and vote and drive and wear pants and pay taxes and not be a nurturing yet sturdy traditional 1800's wife with a resilient and loving husband raising 5 strong boys, tending house, and making all their clothes by hand. It's bullshit!

In all seriousness though, feminism is just man-hating. It isn't advocating for women who need help. Women already have all the rights and special treatment. Feminism is just irrationally angry people who oftentimes were abused by a man at a young age and apply that bad scenario to all men as if nobody who's ever lived has ever had a good dad or grampa.

HeavyReverb · 2023-05-15T01:00:53+00:00

I helped a group of women promote a book a few years ago. The book which was supposed to be talk about true women abuse events and raise funds for those anonymous women who’s stories were in the book. One of the women told me how the book was created.

No real people were involved and interviewed, they would gather in tea parties together, and make jokes about what most sensational thing they could write to make sales.

It was a cash grab, the group divided the profits, as of course, there was no real anonymous women. They made it all up.

Garfish16 · 2023-05-15T02:05:51+00:00

Two things.

First, I talked to more adult feminists and found out their goals for the movement were much less principled than what I had read in the literature throughout high school and college.

Second, I realized that men have a lot of social issues that most women and virtually all feminists perpetuate. Then I realized if I didn't advocate for myself and people like me no one would.

Educational-Hall1525 · 2023-05-15T02:25:56+00:00

Feminism destroyed families, relationships and women who felt authentically good about their lives without twerking or showing off her body.

It's a hoax! We've given the men everything they could ever want in a truly "Oppressive Patriarchal Society" that is just full of "Toxic Masculinity". We let them take us away from our children to essentially choose between working our lives away for shit pay or prostituting in order to get to enjoy any of the fruits of our world.

The term civilian "bots" is spreading like wild fire. It's because we have been absorbing absolute destructive nonsense and are now actively regurgitating it back up without a second thought. We all (men and women) have had too much noise flying at us for such a long time, who has the time to even think about it whenn your eorking 2 jobs with 3 kids at home or now exclusively fly sround the world as long as you forfeit a piece of your body and soul

If you have not questioned alternative theories and answers for the purpose of the whole "family-television set" or the implications of its power and impact, I respectfully ask you to take a breath and start to disengaged slow. Cut back 1 day each week by 30mins intervals. 🙏❤️🌼

nambivpn · 2023-05-15T04:27:12+00:00

When I saw privileged women acting as if they were being oppressed by men who are disadvantaged.

When I heard feminists saying ‘feminism is for men too’ and then they brushed every issue affecting men under the carpet of toxic masculinity and patriarchy.

When I came to know that men in my country can’t file a domestic violence charge on their wives.

When feminists shout down women who support abused men. Calling these women who dared to stray from the ideology of psychotic radical feminists ‘pick me’ is blatantly misogynistic, which ironically is the feminist movement fighting against.

trumpolina · 2023-05-14T21:09:58+00:00

Stepdad's heartbreaking story and imminent loss and passing of his only child.

I started looking into the laws and societal standards and it changed my views. Reality is messed up for most people, not just women.

2023-05-14T13:24:51+00:00

It’s a great question. I think defining our terms might be useful. What is “feminism” is not an easy answer at all, just as “what is men’s rights” is not an easy answer either.
Much of our debates are due to lack of definition as to what we are really arguing about! It would be comical if not so serious. Feminism is a pastiche of ideas and ideologies and prejudices that are often at variance with past political iterations of the “current thing”. I am not sure that we even know what “feminists” want at this point. What do they want and why do they want it? What exactly are they agitating for? They don’t even know. One day they don’t want to be sexualized, the next they’re making money on OnlyFans. What the hell?

LIGHTDX · 2023-05-14T19:36:32+00:00

Not feminist but at some time i thought women were treasures and i had high in chivalery. Then i found how how easily can they mess an innocent man life and notice how little equality were in the politics they pursuit. I still a gentlemen, but just with those who deserve it and i'm not as naive as before.

Silmariel · 2023-05-15T06:49:58+00:00

I love my husband!

The idea that he is the villain in my story just because, makes me feel violent towards to world.

Saerain · 2023-05-15T06:26:15+00:00

"Men's rights" seemed nauseatingly ridiculous until MRAs were the only ones making sense through Elevatorgate. I paid enough attention to break the wage gap wall, and went into feminist apoptosis.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2023-05-15T14:10:46+00:00

I haven't been a feminist since a decade, but what changed my views is when feminists in my country opposed a gender neutral rape law.

The law commission had made it more stringent but removed all the gender biased language. Feminists in my country opposed it and got the previous gender biased language back. (While conveniently keeping the other stringent provisions)..
The end result is that adult men in my country can be legally raped by woman. With no legal statute to punish them.

The day that happened, is the day i stopped being a feminist.

Cosmoline_Covered_AK · 2023-05-15T04:03:16+00:00

Being told that being a man meant I was worthless and that I deserved to be abused and die.

jbuchan12 · 2023-05-15T07:12:55+00:00

Honestly how I was treated in life as a man. I know everyone has it hard including woman. Feminists would tell me that society is basically out to get them.

Over a long time I started to see the way I was treated came from a lot of the feminist ideas or laws.

I am pretty happy in my life now and don't see myself as a victim or even important in this story. But I don't want other young men to suffer in the same ways I did when I was young.

MrBagel0__0 · 2023-05-15T19:29:34+00:00

I have a lot of teachers who blatantly talk about how they wish boys weren’t in the classroom

The_Real_PMC · 2023-05-15T22:09:45+00:00

I am a ex female feminist, I turned away from feminism to get at the hunky sexy MRA men.

liferelationshi · 2023-05-16T03:18:49+00:00

Cherry-picking, misandry, double standards, etc

SecTeff · 2023-05-14T21:51:49+00:00

For me it’s the falling birth rate - society is broken in such a way that people aren’t starting families or having enough children.

I believe this is going to grow into a crisis.

Unless society values settling down and starting a family we will all fail.

I think feminism doesn’t value that.

BKEnjoyerV2 · 2023-05-15T03:51:04+00:00

Basically after my Title IX case, it was a ton of bullshit, and then just my experiences with my challenges with being on the high end of the spectrum and having some mental health issues and struggling with socializing/having social experiences

Salonimo · 2023-05-15T06:44:10+00:00

Feminism

No_Reaction_2168 · 2023-05-15T09:30:39+00:00

I was never a feminist. At thirteen years of age I already began to realize what injustices men faced, starting with the notion that men are supposedly never allowed to hit women under any circumstance. Women, however, were free to hit whoever they wanted and walked away scot-free. I'm twenty-six now.

pappo4ever · 2023-05-15T22:02:20+00:00

I would not call myself a 'feminist' but used to support women at work and at school. Until I realized women not only don't need any support, but they would take that support and resources and use them against men, aggressively pushing and using innocent guys down to climb even more. Disgusting.

WoundedHeart7 · 2023-05-20T11:35:31+00:00

While I was never a radical feminist, I mistakenly thought biblical feminism was a real thing. Now while the Scriptures depict women in business (Lydia who worked with purple dye) or Deborah the prophetess or Jael who I am named after and other women in an empowered and empowering manner, I shouldn't associate with feminism because of the corrupt connections it has. For example, certain feminists were influenced by bad philosophies and promoted wrongdoing like abortion, promiscuity, even child sexual abuse (pedophilia). Simone de Beauvoir defended pedophilia and wanted to decriminalize it. So that's why I'm not a feminist.

IronGates57 · 2023-05-15T04:38:05+00:00

Can't say I've ever been one per say but growing up in the Western public education system with all that it involves, ideological subversion wise, I drank part of the Kool Aid we were fed until I was done with HS though very ironically, seeing my mother being equally horrible to my dad in the perpetual war they've waged on each other for the decades they knew each other even past divorce was a kinda fortunate red pill to the nastiness of women in relationships for me early on.
.

Otherwise, the biggest moment for me was the masterful dismembering of a response video Dr Shaym produced in 2016 to Buzzfeed's 36 questions for men that became the introduction to my journey down the ideological rabbithole and from there, all the gold I've found online ever since from the normiest of PSA deployed against current femtard disinfo to the least known to this day unfortunately of historical facts regarding Suffragettes terrorism and overall wickedness.
.

And in the last year, going back on the job market; working at sea and in other male staffed fields where men who got screwed (many still getting screwed) by women are legions really just perfectly completed my adventure in intergender Wonderland.

Remote_Purpose_4323 · 2024-11-19T01:00:17+00:00

Why this is so unseen, I just got blamed by the my ex friend (f) of 10+ years, for all men’s issues and all typical points like unfair treatment, salaries, that all men leave their children and etc. And she’s been doing great, doesn’t have family or man, she is not even close to the real problems, but this feminist agenda is getting out of control, all women with inner problems, I mean traumatized women, instead of working and healing they cover behind that agenda and they want to hurt men, because they really think that we are causing all their issues. What about responsibility for their own life? I am so done with that world, I am scared to bring a young soul to that… men can’t really do anything, tied by the law and by the morals and now by the feminists. I really am starting to think that the Purge idea is not that horrible.

Toshiba9152 · 2023-05-14T17:47:59+00:00

Ex-feminists

No such thing, they'll be back with feminism when they need it.

FlounderBasic8018 · 2023-05-15T18:14:54+00:00

A while back, I read a tweet from someone that said, "The world would be so much better if everyone stopped having sex."

I don't know what this means, but I'm guessing the person who wrote that is a woman who is fed up with cheating men.

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2023-05-15T00:59:50+00:00

I'm still a feminist, however I am not an extreme feminist and I believe it is important to understand what is significant to men in order to work together to have a better world.

greedyebook · 2023-05-14T15:27:54+00:00

I’m still a feminist but sometimes it can get very hairy especially with double standards

Weak-Tennis5306 · 2023-05-15T14:41:55+00:00

Honestly it was #allmenareevil like it was just retarted

AishiFem · 2023-05-15T18:47:52+00:00

Mostly #MeToo movement

0rangeb1ossom · 2023-05-16T09:39:11+00:00

I'm still a feminist but I only ascribe to 2nd wave feminism. 3rd wave feminism doesn't align with my belief and views. I saw too many double standards and sexism pretending to be activism. Yes, there are still issues affecting women and we should talk about them, but we shouldn't have demine or exclude men's issues.

Embarrassed_Menu5704 · 2023-06-12T00:22:26+00:00

Women can degrade men nonchalantly but the moment a man voices his own opinion or preference for a woman, he is attacked and demonized. Insane, primitive, and defensive thought processes.

Title	Ex-feminists of this sub, what made you turn away from feminism?
Author	mrauser347
Upvotes	220
Comments	221
Date	May 14, 2023 12:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13hay2j/exfeminists_of_this_sub_what_made_you_turn_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ex-feminists-of-this-sub-what-made-you-turn-away.1219245 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219245

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