Tips on dating after divorce

Alatornio · 2023-09-05T02:11:11+00:00

38M. I have a 7 year old daughter. The only women interested in me have 3 kids and a size 16.

Meanwhile, I am 5 foot 9, 160 pounds, 6 pack. Pretty well off.

It's rough out there.....

jimsmythee · 2023-09-05T03:43:11+00:00

I was 42 and freshly divorced with two kids 6 and 9.

I stopped myself from being too desperate. I did mostly online dating, as I didn’t know too many single women. But I had the plan that I’d pretty much go out with any girls that would go out with me. Never know who you’ll click with?

Started off. Any woman who isn’t local? It’s a scammer. Any woman who won’t even go out on a coffee or lunch or dinner date? Too skittish.

After that? Weed out the drunks, the pill poppers, the pot heads and the princesses.

After that? The ones that have made poor life choices and need a money man to rescue them.

Then after that? Then you find a girlfriend.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-09-05T01:55:48+00:00

39M here. First off, your 1st dates are gonna suck no matter what, its a learning curve and learn to handle rejection. I have been divorced over a year and decided to date starting this summer. It was a rough start with tons of mistakes but after some time, I hit my stride and things are going awesome.

1st off, the bar is really low out there but you should still strive to hit the gym, look good, smell good, dress well and treat a woman well. If you do that, you'll literally be in the 95th percentile. Kids are not a problem especially if you are a good dad. I'm dating a younger lady without kids and she melts when I talk about how much fun I have with my kiddos. Women know if you love and treat your kids well, youll do the same for them and that's what they want. To be desired and loved.

Dont get discouraged but you need to have the attitude that there are many fish in the sea and to not be desperate. If you do that, women will be attracted to you and want to know more. Treat them well too and and be a good dude and you'll do fine.

Alatornio · 2023-09-05T13:29:48+00:00

Pro tip: If all her photos are of her with arms stretched out above her head, she's 1,000 pounds.

captainchippsixx · 2023-09-05T11:14:07+00:00

Same reasons a guy might not want to date a single mom applies to you. And the kicker is women want attention so they know they aren’t going to get it as much as they want.

I think the best approach is to load like 3 dating apps. Set up profiles. Say you have kids but do not have pics or specifics on your kids. Protect them. I wouldn’t get to specific till the 2nd date plus. Do first meeting for a coffee or drink or something. Just do this as entertainment for awhile till you figure things out and what works best to help find the right person. Use tinder if you want to do a hookup. Just wrap your junk up.

My experience is ; - women use old photos when they were thinner. So yeah that’s going to happen. - you think she is not quite what I’m looking for and you go out and you were right. So go with your gut and when on the fence don’t go. - I ended up hooking up with some very quickly and that’s all they wanted. Works for me.
-if you can’t find a time to meet her or her communication back is lagging. Just drop it. - definitely don’t be exclusive quickly. Even if you aren’t dating a lot, take your time.

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-09-05T02:47:56+00:00

No....noone intrested in Single Dads as far as im aware. Or really little percentage who would willing to date you but...nah man.

boatlife44 · 2023-09-06T01:35:50+00:00

Man you are in a tough spot, I feel for you. I’m 43, divorced with 3 kids. I don’t want to sound egotistical but I’m literally fighting the girls off.

The big difference is I don’t have full custody like you do. This allows me to workout every day and have a big social life. Those two things have made all the difference.

I also don’t date women with kids. That’s a recipe for disaster.

My suggestions would be:

Start cutting body fat through diet, if you can lift weights that would be ideal.
Date younger. I usually stick with 27-32, so 10-15 years younger. Older girls with kids are lame and they will rob your mental energy.
Get a regular babysitter at least once a week. I promise you no self respecting woman will settle for seeing you on Tuesday only. Also you need to get out to meet women in real life. The apps are bullshit.
Get your head right. We manifest our own reality. All my boys over 40 are pulling down young hotties because we believe in ourselves.

You got this bro, you just have some hurdles in front of you. Reach out if you need someone to talk with.

AxeMuley · 2023-09-05T03:23:53+00:00

I would encourage you to not think about the “what ifs” and start going out when you have time. You can walk up and talk to women anywhere. Or from my experience check out the live band scene in your area, and walk right up to a woman and ask her to dance. They love to dance and it’s a great way to meet. Most men are afraid and when you do this, they feel your energy and it’s attractive. Then dance, say thanks and go back to your table. Don’t linger. If you feel it, go back and talk or dance again. If she is interested she WILL make it easy for you to talk, dance or more. Ask for her number and tell her to have a good night and then leave. Wait 4 days and call her. Everyone here should read 3% man AND no more Mr nice guy. These authors are game changers for men seeking quality relationships. Good luck.

HODLMEPLS · 2023-09-05T12:33:50+00:00

44M two young kids (7, 11). As the others say - take care of and value yourself and the rest will follow. Like everything else in life it is a numbers game. If you’re top 5% that means you’re 1 in 20. So if you’re looking for the right woman gotta to work thru the field to find the right one. Be honest about your time and goals. Remember that women have their emotional baggage too. The tricky thing about your situation (being younger than me) is women in your range are likely wanting their own kids. Personally I prefer divorced/single moms because I find they understand the situation better (and aren’t pressuring me for more kids). Keep working the numbers, keep in shape, focus on your kids - it will happen when the time is right. Good luck.

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-09-05T14:06:21+00:00

Yea. If you’re rich no issues. I know heaps of divorced guys with 2-5 kids who find cute girlfriends 10-15 years younger and help look after the kids.

Now I know what you’re going to say. She likes you for the money not for who you are.

Let me ask you this. Do you think if you were missing an arm and begging on the street, whichever girl likes you will still like you?

techrmd3 · 2023-09-05T01:33:20+00:00

whoa there cowboy! make sure ya lasso a filly before worrying about any kids being desired.

translation don't even worry about kids, don't talk about kids with dates (except bragging on your own). Say "yes I want more but don't know when depends on the right girl". Then shut up about it! First Rule of Date Club!

yeah fix the "I can only date tuesdays on full moon stuff"

But you have a very interesting opportunity here. There are plenty of lonely stay at home single moms who are also in your situation. Plenty of them would want to go out on a lunch date or two followed by afternoon delight.

Make a profile on Bumble, OKC and possibly match/eharmony whatever and start lunch dating. You will have a lot of rust to work through in any case. But I think you need to get on a schedule that supports weekend dating to have a lot more success.

AlmostThere22 · 2023-09-05T14:21:16+00:00

33 male here. Two kids 5 and 3.

5'11 muscular build (work out regularly)

I haven't found having kids to be a problem at all. I regularly pick up 21-25 year olds. I get a lot of attention from 28-38 year olds.

For me dating has been awesome in my 30s. Way easier than in my 20s. Women like older men. Especially men in their 30s.

Get in excellent shape and dress well.

Download the big 3 dating apps.

Along with the big 3 dating apps. I approach everything I find attractive in person.

Do I get blown out of the water? Fuck yes

Do I pick up a lot of beautiful women? Fuck yes.

You can't be afraid of rejection at all. It's part of the game. LeBron James and Michael Jordan didn't sink 100% of their shots.

The downside of approaching and hitting on a lot of women is that you get blown out of the water and you never see or talk to her again. The upside is you get to fuck a beautiful woman. For me the upside far out weighs the downside.

You need to read the Mystery Method.

Then read London Day Bang.

Those two books will give you the skills to approach and talk to women.

You're gonna kill it man.

HathorsSekhmet44__4 · 2023-09-05T01:26:05+00:00

Of course. Good SINGLE dads are hot! Especially to women that are naturally nurturing, like teachers or single moms!

It’s really not as limiting as people think

Freelovewildheart · 2023-09-05T10:15:41+00:00

You just need to go to the park to the beach to the whatever with your kids fully engaged in your life being happy with yourself. You are very likely to meet a single mom, but off the vibration take your time it could take a couple years to find one you’re truly attracted to but it will happen especially if you’re just playing good character good father don’t talk shit about mom or at least as little as possible. Get your mind set positive and right manifest whatever life you want you can have it.

probebeta · 2023-09-05T05:24:10+00:00

41M here, dad of a 4 year old son. I've been hearing from Rolo's gang to not LTR single moms. The rest of them might be double size or not interested in me. Sounds like a pretty sad reality as far as dating and relationships. The dating pool seems pretty damn limited!

I honestly have no problem with casual dating and having fun. If that's what I will be so be it! But I'm not consistently picking up girls, so sex is pretty irregular. I am pretty stuck on this.

Im going to gym, see some women notice me, I drive a good car and make decent money. Can't call myself alpha unfortunately but I'm trying to learn this game. Pretty brutal out there if you want to be a good moral person. Being a player and dishonest gets me a lot of success actually but I'm not sure how long I can keep that up (not a 40s thing or maybe it is...?)

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2023-09-05T03:03:53+00:00

Let’s be honest. Being single dad is playing against you on the dating scene. You will need to do as good as you can in all other departments (starting with looks) to be successful.

M36, athletic build, 6’1”, I can realistically get 1 first date in 2 months when I prioritize this. Orange County, California.

richreason1983 · 2023-09-05T17:31:53+00:00

Yes I have 3 kids 17 , 13 and 8. I have them quite a bit and people are still interested in you. Something my sister told me is focus on something to make you interesting, or don't just let your kids become you're whole life. What does get difficult is if you have a few people you're seeing...

mercedeszzzz · 2023-09-21T08:59:06+00:00

It’s better you find Someone who already has a kid or kids and doesn’t want to have anymore.

KZero92 · 2023-11-22T15:20:19+00:00

you are in no place to date AT ALL... this one year to get a promotion is a perfect timeline for you to get your life, brain, self, and your everything together to where you might be more tolerable and datable to a woman... It will be good that you take that time for yourself, brother. You might even come out the other side with a positive view of women for once because you will feel better about yourself

Title	Tips on dating after divorce
Author	Is0prene
Upvotes	23
Comments	53
Date	September 5, 2023 1:09 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16aa1bh/tips_on_dating_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/tips-on-dating-after-divorce.1231232 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231232

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