Question for the girls with friends like this

armpitpics · 2023-09-21T03:17:04+00:00

You have to people starting a conversation for no other reason than finding each other hot. These people don't know each other, there's no context as to suggest that they might have something in common and the whole process of swiping left and right feels like shopping for shoes. You can't really expect much from dating apps. You might occasionally hit gold, but that won't be it most of the time.

cdclopper · 2023-09-21T04:08:46+00:00

I mean, sounds boring all around.

Stop being a ninny and ask her if she has her nipples pierced.

Hosj_Karp · 2023-09-21T07:35:02+00:00

I don't know, maybe for the same reason you are?

Independent_Score217 · 2023-09-21T02:54:52+00:00

They are backburnering you while they message the guys they prefer, wasting your time so they have a backup.

towerofcheeeeza · 2023-09-21T04:40:38+00:00

Some of them are just on there because they're bored, but aren't invested enough to try. But I also have some friends who straight up text like that. Like even with friends they give short infrequent responses.

Ainsleygz · 2023-09-21T09:23:34+00:00

She’s talking to multiple other guys. Always plan to meet up asap

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-21T03:30:39+00:00

So the most obvious thought I have is that boring and tedious people almost never know they are. That's their most insufferable quality honestly.

My next kinder thought is that they may just be anxious or excited and trying not to mess it up, but with no real playbook to go by.

Following that, based on how I was raised I was taught not to talk about myself much least of all to strangers, which often left me in a conversational bind of not knowing what to say if I can't say anything about myself even to relate to the other person.

Nextly, a lot of women kind of learn early most men don't care or give a shit about us in a way we'd receive so the whole question process feels even more feeble because it just feels like they're running out the clock until I dunno, sex or I go away or something. Fake interest feels like it almost deserves banal platitudes. And a lot of the interest we receive especially online is fake interest. So it becomes hard to detect genuine interest.

There's also often an assumption the dude may just be shy or playing so there's like a samurai who blinks first thing going on too pretty often.

Finally, it took a long time to get good at interviewing and getting to know others especially without being in person or having prior info. So it's just a forced interaction and those are often hard to meet with any kind of passion.

I would assume most of them are thinking, "I should get off this app. What am I doing. He's a stranger and I don't know what to say."

ImpossibleSquish · 2023-09-21T05:02:39+00:00

This isn't a girl thing, this is a people thing. Believe me guys do this too. Some people are just boring. Unmatch them and move on

AngeCruelle · 2023-09-21T06:07:58+00:00

My rule is that one word response = conversation over. You get two chances to reciprocate with a question after I ask you a question, if not conversation over.

If you let people waste your time, they will. So don't. If they want to keep you around badly enough they'll troubleshoot and make adjustments to keep your conversations going.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-21T06:14:06+00:00

They're often just not great over text. I'm pretty awful at messaging people I don't know well and probably come across as really boring, but talking is completely different. Small talk is awkward and it's even more awkward when you're just messaging and can't even see each other and respond in real time.

toasterchild · 2023-09-21T23:17:52+00:00

Nothing is worse than when someone tries to chat me up by asking how my day was. Um, most days I work, have a pointless conversation with a couple of people and maybe run an errand. There is absolutely nothing interesting about most days I have. I do interesting things a few times a week but not most days, that is a shitty conversation starter.

rosephase · 2023-09-21T03:04:08+00:00

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Trikger · 2023-09-21T03:28:43+00:00

Ai ai ai, tough one. I'm not big on texting, but I'm very social in real life. Having struggled with social anxiety for most of my childhood, I invested a lot of time and energy into turning myself into someone who can talk to anyone.

To answer one of your questions: yes, they might actually just be that boring.

It's close to the only personality type I find myself put off by. I ask a question, they reply and will sometimes look like they are waiting for another one.

"How was your day?"
"It was pretty good."
"Nice! Why?"
"I hung out with some friends."
"... Did you guys do anything?"
"Yeah, we talked."
"... Did you talk about anything special..?"
"No, just work and our families."
"Oh, how's your family doing, by the way?"
"They're fine, as far as I know."

I don't get it either. Writing it down, it sounds like they just didn't want to talk to me, but their body language and other behavior did express that they were (sort of?) invested in the conversation.

I've met people who have 0 hobbies and interests. Usually, these people partake in passive activities only, like Netflix or scrolling on social media. Excessive phone use definitely fries the brain and sucks out the soul.

Many people I've met who seem lacking in personality are also lacking in intelligence. I think the connection somewhat speaks for itself...

Those who haven't faced many hardships in life (or have chosen to ignore them) also sometimes seem to have limited depth.

In my eyes, these people are on permanent autopilot. They go through the motions, passively react to their surroundings, do their tasks and live until they die. I actually got confirmation from one of these people that this is, in fact, how they choose to live their life. They are NPC's. The world's background characters.

Sufficient-Print-705 · 2023-09-21T04:27:00+00:00

I think they are just bored or using you for attention and validation.

Don't waste your time with it. When I was on the apps I would message them for a few days and if it was like pulling teeth out to get a conversation, I would be done with them. If it goes well messaging, then ask them to meet up for coffee or a drink somewhere.

I would message earlier than later to meet because a conversation to nowhere is a waste of time. If she just wants to message and waste your time you should push to meet and she will either unmatch with you, ignore you, or meet you. All 3 of those options either move the interaction forward or stop them from wasting your time.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-21T10:06:49+00:00

Anyone can be boring AF…plenty of guys out there who don’t even try to have a conversation or I dunno…can’t

It’s a bit frustrating when I reply and try to banter and the guy is like “haha” or “cool”

Then they get REALLY confused why I stop talking and message me back asking why I’m not saying anything

OR

Some guys kinda make it apparent that they don’t give a shit what I’m saying and they just want whatever gets them in my panties the fastest

I’ve had conversations where the guy makes very clear that he wants to fuck me and then I say “got it” or something curt

Some will get the hint, others will start explaining their sexual fantasies (expecting me to be into them for some reason) and then it’s my turn to the the one who says “OK” or “cool story bro”

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-09-21T11:10:40+00:00

you're supposed to be leading the convo and be the interesting one

Raii-v2 · 2023-09-21T11:17:27+00:00

It’s the same questions everywhere. Ask r/OnlineDating

MidoriEgg · 2023-09-21T11:36:04+00:00

I suck at communicating over text, I don’t know how to have a good conversation over text, I prefer to just meet someone face to face or even speak on the phone. I feel no connection to people I’ve only communicated with via text. I know not everyone feels this way.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-21T12:14:04+00:00

Those individuals have chosen to let you have the space to show if you're interesting to them. They have not decided to use that space to try hard to show that they are interesting to you.

Basically... they want to possibly discover a man who already sees them as a prize, is himself a prize but hasn't shown his prize qualities yet. You've demonstrated nothing that disqualifies you as being a prize. You've also demonstrated nothing that qualifies you as a prize.

You know when average boring men say "but why won't she give me a chance I have so many hidden good qualities?" Well...that's what you get when there is a woman giving a man she sees as average and boring a chance.

If you don't like this because you think it should be the other way round...she sees you as a prize from the first moment she looks at your profile and you get to watch her prove herself to you before you stop being boring...then just stop interacting with those women. Unmatch or whatever else it is on that particular app that disconnects you. There's nothing wrong with them or with you, you just both don't want someone who didn't see their prize qualities straight up. You both want someone to display themselves to their best so a decision can be made.

And FFS don't be angry about this. She's basically your mirror image. Can't be angry at her unless you're angry at yourself too. You're playing the game the same way and the result is stalemate.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-09-21T16:08:16+00:00

From my experience we honestly try but we fail to connect so we just respond and hope we will eventually connect...

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-09-21T18:56:50+00:00

Conversing with strangers is a skill not everyone has. You don't have it either, which is why your response to "how was your day?" is a very basic "good, what about yours?" When someone asked me that question on the apps I'd usually find something more interesting to tell them. Didn't have to be wildly fascinating or whatever but I'd at least give them some kind of specific info in order to take the conversation out of "generic pleasantries" territory.

And a lot of the time, I was the only one of us doing that. This isn't a specifically female behavior. A lot of people out there are very boring, especially when having text conversations with total strangers.

RepeatMyNameBro · 2023-09-21T23:46:43+00:00

Get to the point, You wanna hookup or go out? These girl's attention span is shorter than a used up pencil eraser. Ask for what you want and if she is not responding move on.

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-21T23:59:46+00:00

Probably because there are too many messages and they want to be nice.

Title	Question for the girls with friends like this
Author	fvckit88
Upvotes	7
Comments	52
Date	September 21, 2023 2:50 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16o4hds/question_for_the_girls_with_friends_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-the-girls-with-friends-like-this.1232505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232505

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