What are the moral implications of faking confidence?

AngeCruelle · 2023-09-25T21:07:42+00:00

It is completely normal and morally acceptable to not wear the fact that you hate yourself on your sleeve

grillopie · 2023-09-25T21:09:04+00:00

Its not a moral issue. It is expected for everyone in any social interaction, not just dating, to have some confidence. Even if youre not always confident, have social anxiety, to the point where you need meds, youre expected to project confidence at least sometimes.

Acting confident only shows that you can at times be confident, its not a lie. I dont think anyone will look at a confident person and assume he or she cant have any social anxiety, depression, etc.

wtknight · 2023-09-25T21:00:38+00:00

This is exactly what I suggest frequently on this sub. It is not lying. It is marketing oneself, as one might do in a job interview.

pop442 · 2023-09-25T21:24:29+00:00

The thing is: Confidence is internal.

And there's no singular way to "act confident."

Anthony Bourdain was a rich and tall man who was living the dream, had great relations with people, traveled the world, and was naturally charismatic.............and he committed suicide.

Robin Williams was one of the funniest and most charismatic comedians to come out of Hollywood and he also had great relations with people, had lots of money and fame, and had seemingly nothing to be insecure about.......................and he committed suicide.

At the end of the day, confidence is an internal thing and not to be confused with bravado or competence.

There's many guys who can fake it till they make it while still battling with insecurity and depression on the inside.

I had a gym trainer back in New Jersey who was a total lady's man, was handsome, could speak 3 different languages, was buff, and had tons of friends. And he even told me on the phone that he still couldn't get over his brother's death and how it was crippling him and made him want to give up on life. Mind you...this was a man that I LOOKED UP TO. Yet here he was pouring his heart out to me about his insecurities.

Faking confidence is fine in the short term especially in romantic and professional settings. But, at some point, it's important to make sure you really have things sorted out mentally and emotionally for your own sake.

Thrice_Banned80 · 2023-09-26T01:17:17+00:00

OP ponders the moral and societal ramifications of behaving like a normie in public.

ta06012022 · 2023-09-26T01:35:00+00:00

I used to be afraid of the idea of public speaking. I was fine in a group setting, at a party, and pretty much any other social setting, but being on stage with a mic bothered me.

But I pretended to be confident even though I wasn’t. Then I kept faking it over and over again until eventually I was no longer faking it. False confidence can turn into real confidence if you practice it enough.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-09-25T21:33:51+00:00

What are the moral implications of makeup?

blebbyroo · 2023-09-25T21:38:30+00:00

Fake it till you make it baby

Agree don’t lie but if you need to fake confidence 100% you should do it.

I’m a confident person and still I feel nervous shyness or anxiousness at times when public speaking or having important meetings or other similar situations and I just put a smile on and push through and then when I realise it’s not that bad the real confidence comes through

Spyro7x3 · 2023-09-25T23:30:04+00:00

Is it morally wrong to make yourself look like a fool? Idk that is actually a deep question of metaphysics

Conventionally speaking faking confidence is ironic because it takes a degree of confidence to be able to be fake for me it would be much easier to just be myself I don't think I have the absurd degree of confidence it takes to consciously be a fake and I have delusions of grandeur so its pretty bad.

KingOfTheIncels_ · 2023-09-25T21:12:01+00:00

I think having to put on a mask all day is horrible

FlightOfThePigs · 2023-09-25T21:31:00+00:00

It's very obvious when someone fakes confidence as it appears quite forced. You are either confident or you're not. Confidence is more internal and the outward expression is different for different people. You can be very quiet and be extremely confident or you can be a charismatic sales person and be confident. Are you cool/calculated or a charismatic charming person?

Anyone can become confident with enough hard work but people approach it the wrong way by only trying to mimic the outward mannerisms. The key is to adopt the mindset and the mannerisms will come naturally depending on your personality

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-09-25T22:06:19+00:00

Why do you think that a non-confident, low self esteem person who believes he is a loser and worthless is actually more real in his beliefs than a person who believes he is okay, women love him and he can get relationships easily?

THUNDER_SLAYER_777 · 2023-09-25T21:16:44+00:00

It would be annoying to act like a confident person if you have nothing to support this confidence.

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Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-09-25T21:09:46+00:00

However one could conceivably see this as a building relationships on the foundation of a lie, leading people to believe you are a confident person when you're not.

There's not lie there. You can't "fake" confidence. If you ain't a confident person but can pull acting confident, then you show actual confidence,even if you think it's fake

JNRoberts42 · 2023-09-25T21:27:51+00:00

However one could conceivably see this as a building relationships on the foundation of a lie, leading people to believe you are a confident person when you're not.

I've complained about this in every discussion about PUA here. Men pretend they are outgoing and gregarious, then return to their hermit status once she is trapped in a commitment. They pretend to be gymrats, when they will ultimately spend years of their lives playing video games. They pretend to be adventurous and spontaneous, but later will be revealed to be timid and cautious.

But if men don't mind if women lie about say... oh, I dunno, the number of partners in their past, then I guess it's okay for men to lie about who they are, too. So long as the same rules apply for both men and women, it's fine.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-09-25T22:20:23+00:00

You’re still misrepresenting yourself to people, so ultimately I would recommend against it. Besides, I don’t believe faking confidence works all that well.

Hot-Law2682 · 2023-09-25T23:54:01+00:00

I generally think faking confidence is necessary for men who are late bloomers but doing it has led me to make decisions I now feel are questionable.

A good example is lying about my sexual history to my partners. This is okay most of the time but my current partner was a virgin when we met (I was too) and I lied and said I had 3 previous partners.

She lost her virginity to me and I can't help but feel bad that she didn't know I was a virgin too. For context she is 19 and I am 21 and we were dating for around 2 months before having sex so it wasn't a casual thing.

I feel like her knowing would've made the moment more special and now I can't ever get that back. Its also just deceptive and I really do care about her feelings.

So yeah, faking confidence and a relationship history is necessary for any man over 20 who has had little success in the past but I guess be careful about the situations you find yourself in.

AI_CODE_MONKEY · 2023-09-26T00:02:37+00:00

Why are you assuming that they want a relationship? Some guys just want to get their dick wet. Nothing wrong with that 👍

Barneysparky · 2023-09-26T00:07:13+00:00

I was deeply unhappy for most of my life. Had my whole persona on depending on the weather.

Then one day I thought to myself " what do I really like", and I didn't have an answer.
I decided to figure out what I liked, so I tried things again for the first time ever, hardly caring if I was mocked at first, then slowly not caring, because I learned that even though I looked clumsy when I tried a new thing, I got better at it until often I was better than average. When I tried, and decided to learn what I liked.

There was a fellow yesterday who was mad the government wasn't funding arcades so he could meet girls.

Has that kids tried rock climbing? I bet that kid couldn't get up the rope in gym at some point and got laughed at, like me.

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-26T01:13:59+00:00

I see no moral consequences provided you aren't doing it in ways that harm others or are unethical.

For example, I wouldn't personally be confident in giving medical advice...I'm not a doctor. So don't fake it there because people could get hurt.

Similar thing here in dating. Be your best self, that doesn't mean pretend no worse self exists. It's ok to feel great about yourself and act great while knowing you also have smelly shit.

Lolocraft1 · 2023-09-26T02:16:52+00:00

There is a difference between confidence and pride. Having confidence is being aware of his own capacity without overlooking your defaults, whereas pride is exaggerating what you are and what you can do just to look superior

Confidence is necessary for an healthy relationship. Even if you don’t have personnal accomplishment, as long as you’re confident in what you can do and take action for it, you are a good person. But if you fake your whole personnality and plain lie about your capacities, in the end it’s all gonna fall back to you

"Acting like a chad" sounds a lot like pride, so I don’t think it’s a good idea for men to fake being strong and better. What they can do is to actually be one, believing in themselves and their goals, while still being aware of their weakness and defaults. You don’t "act" like a chad, you become one

TL/DR: "I am not perfect, I’m not really strong, but I do know how to cook 2-3 good recipes, and I will become a better version of myself for you, all you have to do is give me a chance" vs "I’m the best man you can ever wish for, trust me, I’m way better than others"

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-26T02:25:49+00:00

One of the problems with PUA is that they "fake it till they make it", which is great till the first time they don't get their way or a girl doesn't answer their text immediately. They almost always revert back to the needy simp. Being confident can't be faked.

wheartv · 2023-09-26T02:41:32+00:00

Confidence has a very positive feedback

The more confident you are the more successful you are which further builds your confidence

Failure can be the same for people with low confidence with it begetting a vicious cycle

Therefore, in order to get your first wins or breaks, I see nothing wrong with someone faking confidence at first

However, as you benefit from this initial facade and gets self affirming wins, then for everyone’s sake you should start easing off of the facade and start trying to build authentic confidence

Why wouldn’t someone want to do this?

Also, smart people will always figure you out. You’ll only continually impress people that are easy to fool.

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-09-26T05:04:24+00:00

None, because you can't fake confidence. But confidence is a spectrum, you can be more or less confident.

Safinated · 2023-09-26T07:50:44+00:00

There are none. There are moral implications for straight up lying, but not for faking it until you make it

KlingKlangKing · 2023-09-26T10:48:53+00:00

You can't fake confidence

Leaving-trunk · 2023-09-26T15:41:48+00:00

It’s working for me. My trick is I just assume every woman is Interested. Turns out they usually are.

vanilla_xoxo · 2023-09-26T16:37:46+00:00

you put your feelings aside in a little bottle and forget about it while masking how you really feel. As a woman, I do this quite often because I was taught that it was the best coping mechanism, I wasn't really allowed to feel much growing up either. So for me, it's like a switch that i choose to turn on. I turn off the self sorrow, dress up to the 9s, look fab & strut my way into all rooms confidently. Fake it till you make it is the only solution if you want to seem confident in front of others, there's no other way around it IMHO.

Leaving-trunk · 2023-09-26T17:17:07+00:00

I was raised to believe any confidence is arrogance. It’s taken me a lot of work to realize that if I’m the man, I am allowed to act like it. In fact it seemingly makes people uncomfortable if you’re ballin but act like mr humble.

crujones33 · 2023-09-27T07:49:02+00:00

It is expected and praised in the business world, so I do not think other areas would mind.

Title	What are the moral implications of faking confidence?
Author	KingOfTheIncels_
Upvotes	18
Comments	71
Date	September 25, 2023 7:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16s214v/what_are_the_moral_implications_of_faking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-moral-implications-of-faking.1232923 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232923

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