Why was I expected to do as much chores as her?

potatotornado44 · 2023-11-17T03:25:43+00:00

Hey man, I used to do the majority of chores when I was married and my wife totally understood when I’d fuck other women because of it.

I don’t know what your problem is../s

i80west · 2023-11-17T10:43:23+00:00

It's never too late to accept your kids' apologies. They didn't cause this.

aquatone61 · 2023-11-17T10:41:35+00:00

I agree with everything except the last sentence. Take your daughter’s apology and use this as a teaching opportunity.

krazykanuck · 2023-11-17T05:58:00+00:00

Buddy, it wasn’t about the chores, she was bored, unhappy, whatever. She’s just picking things to make her feel better about it and make it seem like she’s the victim.

lotsofhubris · 2023-11-17T03:25:08+00:00

Women are both accomplices and victims in their misery

Classic_Dill · 2023-11-17T14:20:36+00:00

So flip the script and look at it that way.

You: Yea man, i had to cheat on her, had to!! she refused to do any laundry, so..you know cheat!

Me: The Fuh?

Shes using a lame, old, tired excuse, nobody makes someone cheat, nobody! you may push them to consider it? but the act of cheating is all at the feet of the cheater.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2023-11-17T05:13:21+00:00

The modern man has seriously been conditioned to be a chump. Bring in money, do the chores, take care of the kids, be fit and attractive, be a romancier but not too emotional! But also not too little emotional!

Modern feminists can get fucked. I woke up real good during my divorce. Nowadays I only ever do what I want, and that is a stark contrast to how it was in my marriage as what is considered a good husband.

James_Jimothy · 2023-11-17T12:10:39+00:00

Just curious, why do your daughters now want to apologize? What changed their minds?

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2023-11-17T14:47:33+00:00

It’s call unbridled entitlement.

salty-sheep-bah · 2023-11-17T13:15:19+00:00

Was it really about the chores? Seems like it was just a reason to bitch and whine in my house.

rhett342 · 2023-11-17T13:00:28+00:00

Call me crazy but I fail to see the connection between doing the dishes and her having sex with another guy.

playerknowmore · 2023-11-17T14:55:21+00:00

Can I break this down? You had to woo her. Date her, marry her. Be her soul provider, and she sleeps with some guy on Facebook who commented she has nice boobs in the thirst trap she provided to the internet.

The question you have to ask yourself is, could you respect yourself if you kept your wife after another man made her for recreational use only? At the moment, love is questioned in your relationship. Respect is the only glue that holds the marriage together.

It's obvious she doesn't respect you. So, do you respect her enough to keep the marriage together? Especially with the knowledge that all it takes is some affirmation from an internet predator.

I know, I know, it's cheaper to keep her. For now, but as you build your stature, she's along for the ride. So, cheaper to keep her only applies to men who plan to spend their career without reaching the height of their ability. You have a tough decision, think only about what is best for you.

Isthisthereddits · 2023-11-17T16:29:57+00:00

Try this I paid for the house we lived in, did all the cleaning, yardwork, worked 50 hours a week, paid 95% of the bills with her paying for majority of groceries and the phones. I paid 100% of the mortgage, utilities, etc. she got a free ride to work on her PhD. She decided to leave and keeps saying she is entitled to half the house. I'm not fighting it to get out as unscathed as possible, but it rubs me the wrong way. She left and has slept with at least one random dude. She blames me for her being a broke college student sharing a college apartment with early 20 somethings at 30 years old. While together she didn't have to even have a job while finishing up school. She bit the hand that feeds her and now is blown away when I say no to her borrowing my car to help move, I say no to cosigning on her new apartment, I say no to renting the house to her after I move. She is delusional and manipulative.

captainchippsixx · 2023-11-17T18:47:53+00:00

That is how they roll. Same here. I worked 60 hours a week. Did the grocery shopping. Did the dishes vacuumed yard….. kids appts. She would be on resting cun! Facebook. And that’s another reason she is a ex.

Decon_SaintJohn · 2023-11-17T15:12:20+00:00

Simply put, she used any excuse she could find or come up with to justify her infidelity. You're headed for more of the same, and a life of misery, if you let that type of behavior continue. You really need to put down some strict boundaries as soon as possible, and let her know her comfortable life will be no longer if she continues with the BS. Alternatively, your next step is divorce. I hope you shielded all of your financial assets. She'll be after those too, probably using the "no chores" excuse to justify destroying your overall life. Best of luck to you my friend!

Brilliant-Witness513 · 2023-11-17T17:11:50+00:00

Yeah finding a job would help. That’s pure laziness if she doesn’t do anything.

probebeta · 2023-11-17T19:52:50+00:00

Chores arent the problem. These women just aren't happy. The only way they'll respect you is if you stop caring and focus on yourself. I know this isn't practical advice, since by this point she's probably already checked out of the marriage, but it's the only good thing you can do to get her in line.

Physical-Pie748 · 2023-11-18T03:04:38+00:00

"but during the last years of the relationship is like she wanted me to do 50/50 with the chores however she wouldn´t help me bringing money to the house!!! she wouldn't work at all!!! in fact, she would increase my burden by spending the money on crap she didn´t need and as result I had to work longer hours."

haha you cant make this shit up. shes useless, for what is she even there? to drain me and do nothing? fuck off i would tell her. thats why im not getting married. i wont support a child in the body of an adult.

tspice1 · 2023-11-17T12:47:34+00:00

The way of the western woman. This world is a mess. Kim K. Was just named “Man of the year” by some magazine.

Jimbothebimbo696969 · 2023-11-17T14:50:36+00:00

Sounds exactly like my stbx. Says I didn’t do enough chores, raising our daughter or cooking. The liar detector proved that was a lie! (Maury povich)

Mynewadventures · 2023-11-17T11:35:55+00:00

You're far too above reproach to accept an apology. Even from your children. Must be nice to be so awesome.

Brilliant-Witness513 · 2023-11-17T08:40:26+00:00

She’s your wife not your maid.. My friends husband would come in the house after he got off work. Mind you she busted butt cleaning up the mess he made prior to her cleaning it. Anyway, he come in take his boots off, takes clothes off and throws them around like he didn’t even notice she cleaned. Then he off to shower comes back asking where’s dinner. No oh hey honey you clean up nice nothing. The she had a baby he expected her to do all the laundry when they both did it together when the first got together. He’s leaving dirty dishes everywhere trash and wrappers all over. He then started expecting her to do this shit. She told him I ain’t your mom and I ain’t your maid. If that’s what you wanted then you should’ve married me. Then one day a month or so before their 1yr anniversary. She found a pair of lace underwear in his dirty laundry they definitely weren’t hers or his moms. She stopped doing it all together.

vodkanipples · 2023-11-17T20:28:57+00:00

The ex and I had a good arrangement. She made dinner and did the dishes. This is an everyday grind. I took care of the cars, 4 of them, when they needed to be fixed I would spend Sunday my only day off out in the driveway in any weather and it sometimes would take all day. I did my laundry, took care of the dogs, and the trash and any handyman type stuff. She did most of the cleaning and shopping. If I made a mess, I would clean it, not leave it for her. All of that stuff was fine. We had different issues. Also, we both worked.

I am only posting this because many are taking about equal distribution of chores.

dadplup · 2023-11-19T01:35:12+00:00

When I was married my nexw was very similar, wouldn't work, wouldn't clean, wouldn't cook, she claimed she didn't know how to budget or even make a grocery list, I tried showing her but to no avail, the times she got caught cheating and trying to take off they corresponded to when the kids were young so I didn't leave because I knew that she wouldn't be able to take care of them, doctors, teachers and therapists knew to get ahold of me instead of her to get things done.

Maybe your daughters are finally able to see the things she did and are more understanding , you will only know if you talk to them, if they haven't changed el then you will no longer have to wonder what they want anymore. My daughter was able to see the things she did on her own and that's why during the divorce she asked to stay with me and I was given custody.

Any-Dare-7261 · 2023-11-19T12:39:12+00:00

I cooked breakfast, made coffee, walked the dog while she slept in. She worked 4 hrs and laid the kids down for a nap, then talked to guys all day on IG. Maybe went shopping for groceries. I came home from work, cooked, washed dishes, played outside with the kids because they were stuck in front of a tv all day, then she demanded to read to them at night and sleep in the room with them. I went to bed to sleep and recover and instead of showing an ounce of affection or appreciation it was “Let me flood him with questions about scheduling a ton of shit on top of his schedule and talk time because real love is listening to my word salad instead of a hug, kiss or god forbid sex.” But it was cool to fuck our son’s friends dad at play dates all the time. Then complain to her parents about me constantly or her cousins. I don’t miss the slavery at all.

Jonger1150 · 2023-11-21T01:24:22+00:00

The affair partner doing chores?

Title	Why was I expected to do as much chores as her?
Author	Initial_Topic_4989
Upvotes	49
Comments	36
Date	November 17, 2023 3:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17x5dq3/why_was_i_expected_to_do_as_much_chores_as_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-was-i-expected-to-do-as-much-chores-as-her.1238637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238637

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