Hypergamy doesn’t really exist but women don’t know what attracts them

Safinated · 2023-12-01T23:53:34+00:00

Of course hypergamy exists. It’s a documented sociological/anthropological phenomenon

The Cinderella dream lives on in modern form as 50 shades of grey and all that jazz

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-12-01T23:15:38+00:00

I have a surgeon friend who dated plenty of finance dudes and other high status guys. She comes home from one date with this handyman/carpenter and couldn’t stop talking about him. They got married and had kids. What gives? I’ve seen this time and time again in my circles.

This happens a good bit, especially recently.

You know how hot women who work in offices get for rough manly man tradesmen? It's definitely a thing, and not necessarily superficially either.

But these are still special cases, not the overarching trend.

Hypergamy is definitely the norm.

Now, that said.I think women do know what they want but they often have a block explaining it. For one simple reason;

Their sexuality is mostly reactive and situationally dependant.

Relatively speaking;

Imagine having what turns you on be very fluid and." In the moment"

It's hard for someone like that to establish a pattern in what they like and even when they do there are always weird exceptions once it's in front of them.

They know it, but it would take each one a book to fully explain all the intricacies and there still might be a small surprise here and there. So they summarize, they condense, they try to make understandable with enough brevity to not wear out someones attention span.

There was a question about men's turn offs here. I couldn't have listed all mine if I tried....I know it when I see it.

I think a lot of women face a similar challenge. With what they want.

liferelationshi · 2023-12-02T00:51:49+00:00

Hypergamy does very much exist.

omelettekingg · 2023-12-01T22:22:19+00:00

Hypergamy exists in both of the sexes. The vast majority of people if given the opportunity, would choose the most attractive mate possessing the most sought after qualities. These qualities in both men and women are extremely rare. Hourglass figures are only thought to be had by about %8 of women. Men over 6 feet make up about only %10 of the population. The idealized image for a partner in somebody’s head hardly ever matches who they end up with. Despite this, most people cannot function without a romantic partnership and are unable to curb their compulsion to reproduce, so they settle. Love, especially when in close and constant proximity isn’t too hard to create. Most women want to be wives and mothers eventually, realize they aren’t ever going to get their dream man and are more than capable of falling in love with the complete opposite. Men do the same.

63daddy · 2023-12-02T00:18:26+00:00

Hypergamy is a well documented social phenomenon. There are books focusing on the subject. It’s really rather silly to deny its existence. Your alleged, cherry picked personal experiences don’t disprove hypergamy exists.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-02T01:33:56+00:00

As a handyman/carpenter I'll tell you its because our line of work is just more masculine than finance and women are biologically wired to desire builders of things.

To me this isn't a mystery at all

No-Refrigerator3350 · 2023-12-01T22:38:02+00:00

I dated many wealthy men in college. I set out with the goal of marrying rich. But I hated how they treated me. They treated me like an object.

I married blue collar and I'm so happy. Not only do we have a very comfortable lifestyle (he owns his own business) but he treats me like a person. That's what matters to me.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-01T23:45:22+00:00

I can relate to this post. My first serious boyfriend was 5’7” and overweight. I dated him from my senior year of high school until the end of college. He didn’t go to college and was jobless much of the time. But he had an attractive face and the best personality. He was so freaking funny and just the life of the party. Everyone loved this guy. We ended up splitting on good terms, and he’s now married to a very attractive woman (as was I).

I occasionally had people make comments about him and I being so mismatched. But I didn’t care. There was just something about him that made me head over heels about him. And I was sexually attracted to him, too. It was genuine love and desire.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-01T22:24:07+00:00

Exactly. I also don't compare by some objective measures. But I just fall in love for no reason, I don't know why. I don't even know what is so speacial about him, I just FEEL it. I don't rationalize it. I know that by objective measures there are "better" guys. But I just love him, I just feel it for no real reason... It's totaly unpredictable and not based on objective standards. And then I meet objectively perfect guy that I SHOULD want but I just don't FEEL it and reject him even though I should want him, he checks all the boxes. It's some magic.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-01T22:49:10+00:00

You would have to be blind to think hypergamy doesn't exist. It's been obvious for 1000s of years. Now, the specifics of the actual genetically encoded instincts in women are tricky and hard to articulate perfectly. They are clearly more generalized than 'wants a guy with more money' as they primarily evolved before there was any money. As such, how hypergamy manifests in a given environment has some plasticity to it. And as with all things, the extent to which any given woman is hypergamous can vary greatly. Hell, even the term might be a bad one for various reasons.

But clearly this all points at something very real.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-12-01T22:55:23+00:00

Yes I think most women who monkey branch are just oblivious/flaky and usually not as targeted as people think

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-12-02T00:44:00+00:00

I have so many anecdotes on women being so unpredictable with the person they end up falling in love with.

Simple, they got old and unable to get commitment and with time running out they ended up with billy the beta and a geriatric pregnancy

ArtifactFan65 · 2023-12-01T23:19:39+00:00

You're making the mistake of thinking all women are thinking rationally when deciding on their mates. Most women are feelers, and their feelings can override logic when a guy 'feels' right to her, even though he's not the 6 ft chad she was imagining he becomes perfect in her eyes. However those feelings only last so long before reality settles in, which is why so many people end up in unhappy marriages.

jonabay4 · 2023-12-02T04:58:27+00:00

Yeah I don't believe you anecdote in the last paragraph.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-02T09:55:47+00:00

Women do know what attracts them. If you asked, they'd likely tell you they were into things that were in line with those they dated, but you're just guessing about a pattern, being proven wrong and thinking women don't know what they're doing.

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KamuiObito · 2023-12-02T00:48:21+00:00

Most women are fating men older than themselves

They even made same age (men being 1-4 years older) a category. Which is just women dating men closet to their age but older. Ask most women here would they date a man 2-3 years younger. They’ll bring out the maturity blanket statement.like maturity is exclusive to all women and solely older men. Women don’t see me close to them as equal but inferior. Like your mom is dating a man older, taller and was probably more efficient as an adult until later in life. Men just kinda allow women to have their cake and eat it to, simply cuz having pussy around validates most men existence.

Its my life goal to have my wife’s equal to me in most regards. If NOT I’m making it known i see her as inferior. I am height shaming, age shaming, calling all women who aren’t older then me immature. all that.

Like as a 22 year old male. My options are 19-20 years old. I genuinely feel like a big brother around those ages. And its frustrating because men are ok with it. Its hella men my age dating a women thats like 18-20…to me thats lame af. All the women in the world and you only have a chance wit women who wouldn’t date you if you were there age. Like if you were born on the same day and year as your wife she WOULD NOT DATE YOU…youd be lil bro.get friendzoned and then date sb in the same age gap of 2-3 years older.

jay10033 · 2023-12-02T00:50:19+00:00

How old was she?

MrBrittle · 2023-12-02T09:16:53+00:00

Women will date and turn down plenty of high value men then fall in love and marry a goofy/short/chubby/non-high status job guy. I honestly don’t think they’re settling because they seem to really love and be head over heels for the guy in a way they weren’t with the Chad.

Women will always publicly say that their current person is better than their ex, even if their ex is taller, stronger, prettier, smarter, and morally superior. I've seen many women who were kicked out after having a child, chose a man they would never choose before, but said: "I gave up on my son's bastard father who was just a brat, and now I've found a better man, a real man" Sometimes it's hard to know when it's genuine, but other times it's obviously not.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-12-05T04:18:04+00:00

Agreed, a lot of women will date piece of shit drug dealers and people who believe in hypergamy have nothing to say about that. But I still don’t think woman have the first clue what they want. Personally, my guess is they want different things at any given moment due to feelings and moods being a thing. But women will act as if said feelings are objective reality and thus makes them think those are their actual desires.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-12-06T17:21:04+00:00

Women will date and turn down plenty of high value men then fall in love and marry a goofy/short/chubby/non-high status job guy.

One thing your have to recognize is that "women" is a general term, where what your talking about is about individual people.

"Women", as a whole, really don't switch off to date the goofy/short/chubby/non-high status job guy, some do but the vast majority don't or we wouldn't have the problem of short guys never getting anything.

Thus, you have to rethink your argument because you based in on the assumption that all or most women change who they want, when in reality the woman changed who they want are the exception.

Title	Hypergamy doesn’t really exist but women don’t know what attracts them
Author	snappy033
Upvotes	0
Comments	123
Date	December 1, 2023 7:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/188k8n0/hypergamy_doesnt_really_exist_but_women_dont_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/hypergamy-doesnt-really-exist-but-women-dont-know.1239803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239803

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