Girl I am seeing playing mind games, showing some interest and then not showing any at all. Rollercoaster

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-12-29T15:05:01+00:00

Dude play the same game, when she's being nice to you, give her your time and presence and when she becomes flake or rude you step back and give her space. She's not that into you that why she's acting like this

cannibalstreudel · 2021-12-29T17:19:15+00:00

Move on. You deserve girls who freely and openly show you they're interested.

Drama can feel exciting in the moment (like a roller coaster) but as a mentor of mine once said, don't mistake intensity for happiness.

4eyes07 · 2021-12-29T18:10:42+00:00

I think you're not escalating the relationship... just holding hands is not enough... she might be taking distance as disinterest...

CombatPunk88 · 2021-12-29T18:22:48+00:00

You failed to escalate while she was still interested in you. Now she no longer interested and is too late. You could try to raise her but it's probably not worth it tbh. Just take the L.

eyesopen1111 · 2021-12-29T18:02:41+00:00

IF YOU ARE NOT COMPELLING TO THE GIRL, YOU WILL BE TREATED LIKE SHIT.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-12-29T14:51:37+00:00

Distance yourself. She is really isn’t that into you, she is using you for validation/attention

bemore_ · 2021-12-29T14:25:49+00:00

Snadderloffen · 2021-12-29T18:58:36+00:00

Sorry to say it, But I believe she have meet someone else

MikeAlphaGolf · 2021-12-29T20:41:37+00:00

Dating can be a tough game. It’s even tougher if keep chasing those who’ve demonstrated that they’re not really keen on you.

Her actions are telling you all you need to hear. Believe her. Move on to other prospects.

a-little-spice · 2021-12-29T21:25:11+00:00

Drop her. She’s not interested, you’re just gonna hurt and embarrass yourself if you keep investing in her. Don’t explain anything, just stop texting or calling. If she reaches out you can try again, if she doesn’t let her go

Alonso81687 · 2021-12-29T20:18:19+00:00

I'm going to assume that you're not the only person entertaining her if she's able to just dissappear from time to time.

thaughty · 2021-12-30T00:17:20+00:00

The answer is that if someone doesn't seem that into you, they're not that into you and you need to accept that gracefully & move on.

Edit: alternative option, if you feel mentally stable enough to handle rejection, reach out and tell her that your preference is more consistent communication and that you may not be compatible if this isn't something she can see herself doing. At this point you've made it clear what you want, and if you still don't get it, you can move on

IrregularKingV · 2021-12-30T00:46:49+00:00

(Part 1) Main Thing I'm seeing is....... You went out with her... on a couple dates..... And only hugged her/ held her hand??????

Everything else ya did perfectly from what I can tell but the escalation is where ya messed up

So I have 2 recommendations to improve:

Kino/ Being Physical (Kino is basically slang for touching)

To Practice:

Do a comparison test so you can immediately see the results. So for 1 family member talk to them without touching them at all. After that for 2nd Family Member ya see say what's up/ how's it going with big smile & do a big bear hug right in the beginning of the interaction.

That hug will already give 2 of ya a great vibe from start (that's great for any 1st/ etc go out| date ya go on with women) then when y'all are talking do other physical things at right moments when you're next to them, remember this is practice with family: When they say they succeeded in something give a high five, when joking around tell them how short they are and messing up their hair if they're younger (unless ya can tell they put alot of effort in their hair then do Pat on the head), leaning in when on side of them & rest back of hand on their shoulder when you're about to ask them something, etc

(THE GOAL IS TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING PHYSICAL WITH ANY & EVERYBODY. Whether it's family/ friends/ women you're interested in/ even in future strangers and also learn how to be physical differently person by person because everyone is different by age/ culture/ background/ etc on what they accept for physicality)

After being playful physically with a date/ woman you will FEEL & SEE when she is really FEELING the vibe between the 2 of ya so in those moments you can go to next level of physicality, since you're beginner go in this order:

1st Hug (ALWAYS DO ON EVERY MEETUP WITH WOMEN or foot high five if she's COVID sensitive)

(Most of the time the hug WILL set up your vibe/ date| go out vibe & especially what kind of hug ya give (I recommend saying when ya first see her in day: After ya see each other & walked a bit to each other stop where you are then "Some type of Hello" "Her Name", come give me a big & long ass hug with a gesture to come over and she'll come in for the hug

Most won't mind but if she says why to the hug then say something funny like: Because my hugs are the stuff legends! (W/ a somewhat cocky smile on your face)

2nd Back Hand on Shoulder/ on upper back (when guiding her when walking)
3rd Neck (when ya point out necklace)/ Tattoos to point it out/ Feeling Hair (Ask her: What color is your hair? Her: Brown, You: No Way it's brown.... It looks... Hold up let me see motions to let you see her hair, her: let's you then you grab it lightly, You: Interesting you play around with it a bit with your hand lightly & if she's comfortable with that then put all your hand deep into her hair like you're massaging her head, maybe even grab & pull her hair back lightly
4th A. Playfully grab lower back when y'all are joking around sitting or standing & 4th B. Hand around her when y'all are walking or even better yet when y'all are sitting (put hand around her right when ya spike her emotions so when ya say something funny/ or she does)
4th C. If still walking then tell her to "stop", & then with her already next to you face her towards you while being silent & still holding her but now on her lower back, smile just looking at her eyes & lips, then bring her in for a kiss, after that pull back from kiss first when ya do, & then transition to talking while still holding her then kiss again but longer, and pull back first again, then 3rd time kissing use some tongue, then pull back while still holding her (THIS WILL DRIVE HER WILD) and 4th time just full on makeout with her

-5th If y'all are sitting then say something like: You workout huh, Her: Yeah/ A Little Bit/ Not really, You: I can tell/ nah you definitely do then very lightly grab her thigh like you're going to pinch her but not actually pinching just being playful

-6th Same as 4th but sitting down with her next to ya (never sit across from her, always sit next to her by having her sit next to ya.) & Kiss her after ya already your arm around her for a while (bonus: whether sitting or standing when ya have your arm around her you can also lightly trace fingers around surface of her arm, pull her away when she says something that makes ya go WHOA even as a joke, & even pull her towards ya when telling a story/ joke as in NO WAY/ etc

(Always make sure when doing Kino/ Being Physical ya don't do it when there's lots of people unless she's fine with public affection, you can tell by number 4 if she's shy or not, & whether she's fine with public affection)

(And VERY IMPORTANT, if she ever feels uncomfortable with any step then take a step back and just talk/ laugh/ vibe and try again later, most of the time it's just a not yet reaction she has, but if she isn't feeling ya at all she'll say no and you just stop completely)

But yeah practice makes better that should help ya out

P.S. Move her around to multiple places whether indoors or outside (it'll feel like 2 of ya have done alot more together, never stay at just one place, have multiple things to do in area planned & then lead her)

P.S.S. Have a place to bring her to if vibe is really good (If ya have your own room, or Car, if ya don't have your own room or car then buy a tent & bring it along date then set it up at a park later on when vibe is really good and y'all are making out/ kissing/ are about to kiss)

2021-12-29T15:43:57+00:00

You mention that sex is not an option in this relationship. That sends the message that you do not find her attractive. Expect her to leave you for a man who will step up and give her orgasms.

saryiahan · 2021-12-29T19:14:20+00:00

Why bother with mind games? Just end it with her.

thaughty · 2021-12-30T02:12:40+00:00

It really says a lot about this subreddit that no one has suggested this guy do the most basic and obvious steps of 1. communicating his needs and then 2. accepting if she doesn't want the same thing and moving on. And apparently he's been on this sub for a long time and still doesn't know this. Everyone is either encouraging him to feel like a victim or encouraging him to play mind games...it seems obvious she just doesnt like him as much as he wants and he just needs to move on and find someone who does

Moejason · 2021-12-30T10:27:57+00:00

I’d say let it go, dating doesn’t need to be this complicated where you’re second guessing all of their intentions

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-12-29T19:03:07+00:00

You met and dated a woman with low interest level in you from the start. When a woman has low interest level and plays these types of games you have two choices: hit it & quit it or just quit it. Why risk knocking up someone like this? Just move on to someone who is interested. 🚩 if she's interested she won't play games. She'll make sure you KNOW that she is attracted to you.

progressiseverything · 2021-12-30T01:55:25+00:00

You are her side piece or back up. That's why there is so much hot and cold drama. Walk away frm her.

Rockfella27 · 2021-12-29T18:17:28+00:00

Text her friend. All her games will go out of the window.

Maschalismos · 2021-12-29T21:12:27+00:00

Allow me to speak from very bitter experience, OP. This kinda flip-flop behaviour is an indicator of a ‘cluster b’ personality disorder (borderline, narcissistic, etc). Be very very careful about proceeding to date this woman. If she does suffer from a personality disorder, she will make your life hell in ways you probably have never even thought of.

Try going on a date or two. If she makes you feel like a million bucks one date, and like roasted shit the next, that’s a red flag.

Whatever you do, don’t try to ‘play her game’ by trying to out-crazy her. You will lose, and badly.

The_OnlyTruth · 2021-12-30T00:15:24+00:00

You say you know "game" but by your post it's evident you don't. You let her control the frame of your relationship. At the first sign of bullshit behavior, you have to correct that. In a calm manner tell her you're not playing this game with her, that its not acceptable and cut her off. If you would have done that you might have had a chance. But instead you've showed her she's more valuable than you are, and its over. Move on. Don't do that again with the next girl.

AngeloMacon · 2021-12-30T02:06:34+00:00

Women don't start playing games months after sleeping with you. At least not on purpose. She's losing interest and talking to other guys.

ForeignAttitude4471 · 2021-12-29T14:37:45+00:00

Hey man, almost the same going on here, I've tried to be honest and direct with her... Didn't work, she acted like she was the same and I was seeing things that weren't there. If I could I would just do everything different

loosemon · 2021-12-29T17:45:09+00:00

Sounds like she lost interest. I would pull back completely and move on. If she hits you up during that time, play it cool and don't act too desperate. But I would definitely start talking, pursuing other girls.

But_Kicker · 2021-12-29T19:36:20+00:00

You say you showed her you have other options, but you come back to her? Why are you still investing time in this? Next her, if she comes back you can let her, but do not go back to her. She is a waste of time. She is using you for attention, I bet you are also paying for these dates, you are rewarding her bad behavior. I would not give her attention via text. If she wants to meet up and wants your attention, she can do it in person. Find someone better.

ProfundaBrachii · 2021-12-29T20:49:24+00:00

Honestly think to yourself is your mental peace worth this girl? 99.9% of your time pick your mental peace otherwise it will go on forever.

If she was really into you, she wouldn’t play games like this

reallyred11 · 2021-12-29T21:15:47+00:00

Leave.

froze_gold · 2021-12-29T21:50:44+00:00

You're not her top option

Radio_Unique · 2021-12-30T04:27:52+00:00

She’s just not into you

Unimpressed_FPH · 2021-12-30T05:37:37+00:00

Just ghost her there is probably another guy that peaked her interest

unfinity2 · 2021-12-30T08:13:56+00:00

People are fickle sometimes so Girls are too. Give her some leeway to change her mind. You never have a right to demand affection and she isn’t locked into it just because her feelings were in one state or another at some point.

xgwen18 · 2021-12-30T15:25:14+00:00

It sounds like she felt you weren’t really that interested in her. If she was super into it at the beginning and you were too, why would you hold back and limit communication and interaction?

I like a guy who makes me feel wanted, not one who pulls away just to act “cool”

daddysgotanew · 2021-12-30T18:03:11+00:00

Ahh, the old “Paul Walker” test applies here. As yourself “would she act like this if I was Paul Walker instead of me” and if the answer is no, she’s just not that into you bro.

(And I don’t mean a celebrity necessarily, just someone that looks like him, a stereotypical Chad)

artichoke2me · 2021-12-31T17:09:39+00:00

Do the same when she shows interest show your interest. When she pulls away do the same. If she doesn’t initiate she is not interested.

WoodWizzy87 · 2022-01-02T03:45:26+00:00

Boys play games. This is an easy fix. Delete her number her and her Snapchat and move on…..

eonscrewedme · 2021-12-29T15:23:35+00:00

It’s not on you to decipher her actions, it’s on her to make sure you’re well aware what’s going on, and what’s going on here is lack of attraction

Title	Girl I am seeing playing mind games, showing some interest and then not showing any at all. Rollercoaster
Author	Nick_476
Upvotes	44
Comments	90
Date	December 29, 2021 2:05 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rr8x4v/girl_i_am_seeing_playing_mind_games_showing_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-i-am-seeing-playing-mind-games-showing-some.1270057 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270057

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