Do most women just wait for a guy to show interest?

DamnitCrohns · 2014-08-03T17:59:55+00:00

In very vague terms here's 'How it works' (Not in a pickup context, just in general life)

Flirt with girl > she flirts back > flirt more > she flirts more > Now you have yourself a nice lead. Now it's time to escalate, she won't do it herself, you have to take the plunge (Keeping this in very broad terms but depending on context it could be things like getting her number, asking her out, blah blah blah, any of those things.)

OR

Flirt with girl > She doesn't flirt back > Nevermind.

BALLS_IN_MY_ASS · 2014-08-03T20:52:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

trustmeiminnocent · 2014-08-03T17:59:08+00:00

Yeah. Don't worry I suffer from this too. You won't get far without sexual intent and I learned that first hand. Be sexual. Don't be afraid to show her you want her. She could want you so bad but she can't show you openly. Women are conditioned by society not to act like 'sluts' and they don't initiate 99% for two reasons. 1) being seen as a slut,losing social value. 2) fear the guy will reject them.

Mind you rejection hurts women a LOT more than us guys, so having men open themselves up to them makes it easier for them. I've had a girl completely open to being into me, she'd hold my hand, hug me, make jokes, sexual conversations, etc. but that was in HS and I had no clue she was into me until after the fact, I had a HUGE crush on her. 99% of the time a girl won't act this way unless you initiate it.

ihaveabu · 2014-08-03T20:02:04+00:00

Women don't want to wait for a guy to show interest first. They wish they could just walk around and tell guys they're interested, but they can't. Here's why they don't:

Fear of rejection. Everyone has that fear, but since most of a woman's value is based on her appearance and social value, anything that may jeopardize that, especially in front of her friends/social group, is extremely scary to the point that she'll just not risk it. Especially when most guys will do all the hard work anyway.
Fear of judgement. A girl making the first move is looked down upon because other women are competitive and judge each other, whether it's your appearance, work, etc, and use that to evaluate other women. While men are commonly judged for being sensitive or soft, and praised for being promiscuous, women feel the the exact opposite effect.

Understand this, and you understand why it's not easy being a girl playing this game either.

lilhurt38 · 2014-08-04T13:47:54+00:00

99% of the time they do. What I've learned is that making themselves available is the female version of an approach. If you don't initiate conversation with them, they take it as rejection. I had this happen the other day. I was out with my roommate and a HB9 talked to him. She told him that she thought I was attractive, but she was scared to approach me. He told her to just strike up a conversation. I'm just hanging out and enjoying my time and she came up and sat next to me. She smiled, made eye contact, and did her hair twirl thing. I smiled back, but I was distracted by something else. I didn't initiate anything, she felt rejected, and she left. I've found that if you're at a bar and a girl positions herself near you, she's opening herself up for you to approach her. It's not always the case, but a majority of the time it is. I can't tell you how many times I've had a girl sit next to me at the bar, give eye contact, play with her hair a bit, and leave a little upset cause I was oblivious to it and I didn't initiate a conversation. It's better to just assume that she is, initiate conversation, and so what if you get rejected?

Afdavis11 · 2014-08-03T20:53:34+00:00

So, let's say for a moment that you're a woman. You want a man that will care for you, protect you, and love you. Are you going to choose the guy who is too afraid to even talk to you, or the guy who isn't afraid to talk with anyone?

If you don't have any confidence in a civil, social, and benign environment what kind of a man are you going to be when the shit hits the fan?

isisishtar · 2014-08-03T22:11:36+00:00

Yes, because if women initiate, they are seen as 'slutty'. It's just a social perception, and not a reality, but that's how they feel.

TheBlueStranger · 2014-08-04T01:41:16+00:00

There are two sides to this:

You need to practice flirting, and interacting with women in an intriguing and sexual way. Once you do this, women, from their end, will be more interested in you.
You need to learn how to read women. There is a way to get a sense of how interested they are from the way they interact with you. For example, do they ask a lot of questions, are they excited when they speak, are they getting lost in the conversation or just getting stuck a lot, are they looking at you in an interested way? The better you flirt (see number 1), the more they will be interested in you.

Once you know how to read women well, you will know when is the right time to make a move.

But in general, yes, the man is the one that has to make the move. But the move is best made when you have the sense that the woman is interested in you.

Jake_STi-RA · 2014-08-04T06:24:06+00:00

Trust me, when you put forth the effort and she puts effort on her part, you will feel invincible.

joshsway · 2014-08-04T14:53:00+00:00

DaygameCoach · 2014-08-03T20:37:01+00:00

Women are sending you signals (IOIs or even approach invitations) that you do not know how to read. It is the guys job to pursue.

Swiss_Cheese9797 · 2014-08-03T21:19:51+00:00

Don't think "romance", think "attraction"

SwordfshII · 2014-08-03T21:35:09+00:00

Women show interest, just in subtle ways

MiaBrkl · 2014-08-04T06:40:13+00:00

I'm a girl and I happen to like making the first move. Not to say that I don't like when a guy starts to chat me up. I see it this way, he may not notice me but I noticed him and basically I go after what I want. It could be in my career, dating life, really anything I desire I have a drive to achieve. Plus I figure you never know. The "worst" the guy could do is reject me. Which to me is fine because I did well before I asked him to wander into my life and I'll do just as well without him there.

2014-08-04T08:13:54+00:00

Yes, unless you're a movie star, rock star or relatively attractive millionaire. Other exceptions are doctors and bartenders.

johnnyo17 · 2014-08-03T20:22:55+00:00

You're the man, you are the leader, you move things forward.

She is the follower, she is submissive.

The thing equivalent of a man not reciprocating interest (e.g. asking a girl out, then escalating to the point of sex) when she is interested, is a girl flaking on you or rejecting you.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-08-03T18:39:35+00:00

How can you be interested in something you dont know exists?

meowdogs · 2014-08-04T00:40:56+00:00

Unless you're good looking/get lucky, the most forward most girls (that you don't know) will be is by making themselves available (body language, proximity, smiles, open).

Once you've broken the ice, then the flirting starts. If you're an attractive person (social skills, personality) you can usually win whoever you want. Otherwise it's a quick "yep we don't click, lets just be friends" and you move on. More fish.

More important question - why do you want to be wanted? Your self-centered search for approval/dependent nature for some shitty reason will turn off a lot of people. THIS is why you're a virgin. You sound like a 15 year old. There's a reason people who dgaf get laid more. You don't have to be a jerk to dgaf either. It's about not letting some stranger dictate your emotions/actions/status.

thedarkstranger · 2014-08-03T19:47:11+00:00

You have to give them options.

poopyfarts · 2014-08-03T22:45:37+00:00

subreddit should be renamed to /r/awkwardvirginadvice as this gets posted everyday like they lived under the stairs their whole lives

Title	Do most women just wait for a guy to show interest?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	216
Comments	132
Date	August 3, 2014 5:50 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2cillh/do_most_women_just_wait_for_a_guy_to_show_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-most-women-just-wait-for-a-guy-to-show-interest.1374533 https://theredarchive.com/post/1374533

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