Fuck your "she's a tease next girl up" mentality. I just called a HB9 out for leading me on and she fell for me like a flimsy Jenga set.

apelican · 2015-12-06T04:19:34+00:00

can you elaborate on how your situation unfolded?

tuneorg · 2015-12-06T09:06:12+00:00

This has been an internal debate I've had for a very long time: the value of persistence. Basic "game theory" says you should not appear needy or put anybody on a pedestal, it makes you look very unattractive. However, if a girl you are extremely interested in is being a bit flaky or unresponsive, does that mean you should give up immediately and preserve your 'I don't have time for this B.S., I'm an alpha male with other options' attitude? Or should you be persistent, showing that you are man enough to go for what you want and not give up so easily? On one hand, you technically have nothing to lose being persistent. On the other hand, you run the risk of devoting too much mental real estate to one person and satisfying a psycho chick's need for attention from multiple guys. I have some friends that tell me, "Bro, if you asked her out twice and she makes some lame excuse just move on. She's not that into you." Not sure I agree.

I suspect there is no clear answer to this debate and a delicate Zen-like balance needs to be struck.

Captain_Unremarkable · 2015-12-06T05:47:24+00:00

Why do post headlines like these sort of make me want to kill myself?

quasi-psuedo · 2015-12-06T06:58:34+00:00

Deliver OP, this is bullshit story until I see otherwise

OH_NO_MR_BILL · 2015-12-06T07:58:02+00:00

Way to keep putting that pussy on a pedistal, OP.

You gave us absolutely nothing constructive in your post, and even contradicted yourself. All you appear to have done is make her qualify herself to you, or as you put it "jump through our phony hoops".

What I think really happened was, you were too much of a bitch to be direct, so in return you got mixed signals. This frustrated you till you gathered whatever balls you have and was slightly direct with her. She then tells you she's interested, which could mean:

a) she's actually interested

b) she doesn't feel like losing the attention, so she'll say she likes you for now to keep stringing you along

Unless you're actually banging this girl already, there's no real way of knowing, and unless you're physically escalating, not trying to worm your way in there with words, you'll never know.

thekidbass · 2015-12-06T04:53:22+00:00

Well you just did what everybody needs to learn to do- have HONEST COMMUNICATION. Nothing to lose, much to gain.

JakalDX · 2015-12-06T06:01:13+00:00

People still say HB9?

LUClEN · 2015-12-06T15:34:11+00:00

Either way, you should know that dismissing girls for being shy - as this sub preaches - is a dumb, dumb ass move.

Women do it all the time. Why invest in someone who isn't willing to take risks for you?

Yankee_Fever · 2015-12-06T15:36:31+00:00

Kind of off topic. I feel assuming attraction is to always assume when a girl brushes her chest on you or bends down in front of line of view , is to thinks that she knows what she's doing and it was no accident. Same thing when a conversation goes sexual.

Before pua I always assumed that it was always a coincidence and she wasn't attracted. 10:30 am drunk thoughts

HotHamAndFrisco · 2015-12-06T19:26:58+00:00

Alright bro, let's sort this shit out. #1 the community preaches this because it's good for beginners. Who have be trained to idolize pussy their entire lives. They have to break the habit. Obviously this is not black and white. Learn the rules then with experience you learn when to break them. All situations require something different.

2 realize that you are probably going to lose this girl. Unless you've been sleeping with this girl for some time already. But we don't know that cause you didn't say jack shit about the situation. Instead you spewed this impulsivey vague nonsense all over our screens.

If you actually want to help people give some fucking details as to how you arrived at this conclusion. otherwise you are gonna fuck up some newbies progress and I'm going to assume you are a butthurt chode with oneitis

Mrmattnikko · 2015-12-06T05:14:33+00:00

I personally never stop asking a girl out until she explicitly says "No, fuck off". Doesn't mean I constantly do it, or that I stop talking to other girls while doing so. Every 3 or so weeks if I still would like to go out with her, I call her or send her a text about it. If she says no, then cool, if she says yes, then cool too.

MochiLV · 2015-12-06T07:31:21+00:00

TIL - get some balls and tell said women I am into you and see response.

Drunk_Sensai · 2015-12-06T08:11:19+00:00

A-fucking-men! I complelty agree with you op. Same thing has happened to me in the past, I'll be in a situation where the chase becomes combersome because of the number of games both parties are playing. But as soon as I call out the situation and explain that I'm tired of her games and that I'll move on if she continues like things are goin she drops the act and just falls for me.

cynicalsimon · 2015-12-06T16:12:09+00:00

there is a difference between shy and lazy. if she puts no effort in, I might not either

Boovs4life · 2015-12-06T08:55:58+00:00

How did you address these mixed signals?

jasonr686 · 2015-12-06T11:33:10+00:00

Being honest and direct is vastly overrated here.

I'm dealing with a similar situation most would have walked away from...I just set up a breakfast date for tomorrow morning.

Good on you

Mi5ery · 2015-12-06T12:18:01+00:00

Either way, you should know that dismissing girls for being shy - as this sub preaches - is a dumb, dumb ass move.

Do this sub really preach that?

bugxter · 2015-12-06T15:56:25+00:00

It's your choice. I don't think shy girls are bad, but a lot of them are a waste of time and energy.

recyclablebantha · 2015-12-07T17:29:11+00:00

Recently I thought, if a girl was super into me and decided to put it all on the table and tell me how she feels, I would admire that and let her know if I felt the same way, simple as that.

Sure. And it's great that this happened for you, but expecting most girls to stick their necks out like this, is not going to happen most of the time.

But here, in this fucked up community, we always "assume attraction,"

Right......this common wisdom exists to encourage guys to make moves because they usually let their chances with guys slip out of their hands, because they think girls aren't attracted to them.

It's not really that one should "assume" that girls are attracted. It's more that one should not worry about figuring that out beforehand because it's often impossible. The best way is usually to get in there and make moves, after which, a girl will show if she's attracted.

and if a girl doesn't jump through our phony hoops we move on.

Kind of vague. And it sounds inaccurate. There are no credible philosophies of "seduction," I'm aware of that involve requiring girls to "jump through phony hoops." Or hoops of any kind, really. If anything, in courtship, there are plenty of guys who are usually jumping through hoops for girls.

FUCK THAT. I'm not going to simply move on from a HB9 who is both incredibly intelligent and attractive because she's giving me mixed signals.

Your anger is oddly misplaced. Where are you getting this idea that any notion that you give up without trying, has any traction around here?

So I addressd those mixed signals, and she admitted she was totally into me.

If you say so..... Though if you intended this to be some sort of beacon of hope for guys out there, you've left out 99.9% of the information about this little exchange. All you have here is one sentence that sounds kind of ridiculously implausible because you haven't told us anything other than the rather unusual sounding outcome, leaving out ALL of the background leading up to it.

Who knows, maybe this woman will be my wife, maybe not.

Whatever the case, this is probably building up things too far but it's hard to say when you've told us pretty much nothing about the situation.

Either way, you should know that dismissing girls for being shy - as this sub preaches....

Show me where in the sidebar, this sub "preaches" such nonsense. There is nothing in the sidebar or common wisdom that preaches "dismissing girls" for being shy. You seem to be operating under the same ignorance as too many who come here: thinking that some random person who posts an answer here, somehow has authority to speak for the whole sub, when they may be someone who doesn't know what they're doing.

kellykebab · 2015-12-20T21:52:03+00:00

Who knows, maybe this woman will be my wife, maybe not

Dealer, all my chips on "not" please

greatslyfer · 2015-12-06T10:02:01+00:00

wtf is an HB9?

IntoTheChords · 2015-12-06T10:31:30+00:00

I agree man and good on you, don't listen to these nerds, for when you really like someone then it's worth trying everything. Sometimes I get too sucked into this sub to remember that life isn't seddit, so thanks for refreshing my mind.

Title	Fuck your "she's a tease next girl up" mentality. I just called a HB9 out for leading me on and she fell for me like a flimsy Jenga set.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	124
Comments	121
Date	December 6, 2015 4:10 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3vmgv9/fuck_your_shes_a_tease_next_girl_up_mentality_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fuck-your-shes-a-tease-next-girl-up-mentality-i.1398663 https://theredarchive.com/post/1398663

Comments

2 realize that you are probably going to lose this girl. Unless you've been sleeping with this girl for some time already. But we don't know that cause you didn't say jack shit about the situation. Instead you spewed this impulsivey vague nonsense all over our screens.