Why seduction is so hard

rbarbour · 2018-12-22T00:49:46+00:00

This is a cool post but you're right, the world is just superficial now. Facebook has really hindered our society, but there's many other things besides that. Most woman are groupies in some way, shape, or form. The only way to counter that is to play along and start playing rockstar. This still goes back to basic psychology and being a leader of men, which does attract women. I wouldn't count on anything changing next year. The only thing that worked for me was changing myself.

CleanWholesomePhun · 2018-12-22T03:30:34+00:00

You're CLOSE dude, but there's something that you're missing here.

"Society" isn't against you. "Society" is just a bunch of confused people looking for a leader and trying to survive and for better or worse they don't care too much about you.

Yes, there are COMPANIES that want to sell you shit and don't care how it effects your life, but those are algorithms and corporate boards and old dudes in suits and not representative of shit but themselves. Hollywood isn't real life. The shit you see on TV is not representative of real life. For the most part it's made by small groups of money-obsessed people who will say or do anything to squeeze a buck out of you. Be mad at them and give everyone else sunshine - it makes you more attractive as a person.

Aiming too much of your rage at "society" is like firing a shotgun when a sniper rifle will do. That shit makes you bitter and being bitter is ugly.

Right now there are tons of cute chicks just dreaming that some dude who's got his shit relatively together will talk to them about life and lead them to something that makes sense. Be THAT dude and it's easy to make any kind of connection you want.

One_Insanity · 2018-12-22T00:38:42+00:00

JUST MAYBE

Fuck that. There is no maybe. You've perfectly described everything that's wrong with modern society. That's why foreigners that come from shitholes don't have a whole lot of problems with women. They get ass because I mean... what, are they going to be afraid of women? When they come from a place that usually places women under men? Not to mention shit like bombs exploding outside their windows, genocide, rampant crime and all kinds of other colorful nonsense such as slavery that's still going on to this day.

There is no maybe here. We're a coddled generation. And it hasn't even been that long. I can only imagine what my great grandfathers were going through when the Reich was bulldozing over the Soviet Union. We ain't running at machineguns because if we turn back we'll get exterminated and our country will get raped to hell. Talking to a girl ain't that scary because you may get torn in half tomorrow and you'll be holding onto your intestines.

You hit the nail right on the fucking head and you hammered it in in one singular motion. All this shit that the modern world force feeds us only serves to make us weaker. There's a reason people only get stronger once they start cutting out all this superficial garbage out of their lives. And if you think I'm being dramatic. Fuck you. You're a retard.

ndoh113 · 2018-12-22T03:11:11+00:00

Social media is making society go into a downward spiral

ThrowawayPUA · 2018-12-22T00:56:32+00:00

Dude. PUA has been a thing since the 1960s.

DisillusionedReality · 2018-12-22T07:23:53+00:00

Half of r/seduction is 25+yr old virgins, just go talk to whoever you want: why are you using global politics to justify that your at a disadvantage.

Roly__Poly__ · 2018-12-22T02:48:31+00:00

There are therapeutic solutions to all of the addictions mentioned above.

Approach anxiety, too.

Funkimonkey · 2018-12-22T03:17:13+00:00

Everything is hard. Competition for jobs, women, Instagram likes.

Most people fail because they aren’t willing to put in the effort needed to succeed.

Society is just a scapegoat. It’s an illusion people use to rationalize their failure to take action.

Hot_Beef_Injection · 2018-12-22T05:22:16+00:00

Seduction is the easiest thing in the world as long as you make an effort to be an attractive man and you have a charming personality. It's effortless. The girl is already looking at you before you even see her. If your objective is girls, you will fail. If your objective is really girls but you pretend like it's something else you will succeed.

The only thing you have to do is close. So you must ask for the number, and you must take her out and you must make the effort in that sense. The other 90% of seduction is how you view yourself. What do you think you are? Do you think you're fat? Well you are. Are you awesome and alpha? You are if you believe it.

orieva · 2018-12-22T13:02:47+00:00

"society wants you to be addicted." this is so not true and so victimising. Society is made up of people just like you who don't know they're eating bad foods and don't know how to stop addictive habits like Internet. Man up.

You're reward pathways are faulty? Fix them. Eat clean. Quit social media. Go exercise. Do something. Diet is the most powerful effector, look into keto / carnivore. Low carb is the way to go for a healthy neurochemistry.

You can blame society all you want, but you know what you have to do to fix yourself and be happy. So it's either that or conform to the masses - which really isn't a strong and manly move, and you know it.

DajuanKev · 2018-12-22T02:53:54+00:00

The op is hilariously accurate. I'm actually out there approaching tho. Just, they exceed my expectations and then I'm intimidated by the small glimpse that they might possibly want me and I suddenly don't know what to do. Haha

I only approach girls I really like, so it can be critical and, I reject my self. Hopefully I can break from it since I defeated social anxiety.

EddieDreamgate · 2018-12-22T04:54:47+00:00

Spot on. Let go of the current cheap, stimuli-filled lifestyle everyone is living and 2 things will happen.

1- Women come to you: By quitting the internet culture of trends / doing what everyone else is, you start to build a unique, interesting self, which is the most attractive feature you can develop.

2- You go for women: By going for harder, but more rewarding things in life outside of your comfort zone filled with easy pleasure, you build up more confidence and discipline overall, which makes approaching women an effortless, simple task.

Mo_Lester69 · 2018-12-22T07:18:47+00:00

are you tyler durden?

Ti7ANEUM · 2018-12-22T02:21:39+00:00

I’m good at it, but that’s literally because I’m gifted. When I was young, I thought I was actually retarded. I saw girls feigning after other boys, I thought I was literally missed; under the radar; scanned over. I had no clue what was going on.

Through years of friends and puberty, I ended up handsome. I now know what to do and how to be attractive. It literally comes naturally.

I know that those who have to try much harder than I do to display their attractive qualities have genuinely, justifiably, and understandably CHALLENGING times attracting mates. And I completely agree that our current landscape of ADD-satisfying, highly prolific stimuli absolutely detract from meaningful engagements.

I fucking hate social media; it makes people less social.

Ironchar · 2018-12-22T01:54:37+00:00

20/80 rule brother.... you've got to become the 3%.... by becoming indifferent towards women.

prehaps focus on other shit- make your life awesome. change the style a bit... pump up your life style

then... all of a sudden after strong indifference for years? interest slowly starts comin around

antholim · 2018-12-22T10:17:10+00:00

I'm gonna agree with most of the posts on here and say that it is all in your head.

baddog992 · 2018-12-22T03:15:32+00:00

Some people have great social skills and some do not. I did not not have great social skills and I had to work at mine. Even to this day I still have to work on it and I am 50 years old.

eyesopen1111 · 2018-12-22T04:36:35+00:00

Seduction is not hard, it’s fun! Why the long faces? It’s a process. One simple 4-step seduction formula is: find, meet, attract, close.

It’s easier than ever to do most of these seduction steps. Most of what guys are looking for help on this forum for is to get over their own fears or social skill short-falls. Their problems are generally with the meet and attract parts of the process.

Those who focus on the goal, work smart, take a course, read a book or two, hang with successfully dating wingmen, practice with women, etc, they improve and get laid. Isn’t that what this forum is really about?

Other guys focus on the barriers to getting laid, not to overcome them but rather to justify losing to them. They strike me as more of the bitter incel type of guy. They should just work smarter.

ninja_possum · 2018-12-22T05:57:11+00:00

Good first paragraph OP. We do have some unique, over abundance challenges no one has had to face before.

Each generation has its challenges. My grandad’s challenge as a teenager was to not get shot by the Nazi’s. His grandad’s was to not die in an industrial accident before 20. I’m ok with the ones we have to face

RoosterRed · 2018-12-22T06:33:32+00:00

SO....with that being said. What can we do. Less internet? Stop feeding the inner demons of addiction? What can we concretely do? Lessen social media?

Cloakedwand72 · 2018-12-22T06:57:32+00:00

Throw money at him or her.

HeavyMeringue · 2018-12-22T09:03:37+00:00

Well said.Whoever you are,bravo.Very good and Illustrated points.

Radar444 · 2018-12-22T09:04:52+00:00

This is why I am on reddit and more importantly on internet.

TheWaffleMan96 · 2018-12-22T10:32:02+00:00

There is NOTHING wrong. With the society, with the girls and most importantly with us. At least in a sense of interpersonal relationships. I would argue philosophically there are certain... oddities in our society.

If anything, we are gifted with two awesome things.

Ability to share knowledge at light speed between many different corners of the world and be the best versions of ourselves when the whole collective experience of the world can be out experience and we can feed into it.
Choice. More important. Yes, there is stimuli. There is facebook. There is porn. But guess what, you dont have to watch it? Just as easily as subscribing to PornHub or whatever you can go and talk.

Problem is that genetically are that guys tend to be monogamous. So ideologies propagated by Hollywood and social media of love and man/woman relationship are easier accepted by us.

Problem is that we listen to girls for advice, but they themselves speak of their idolized fantasies, not facts.

But again, guess what? Once you realise at least some of it, you can have the collective knowledge of PUA's across the world. People like us sharing our experiences on reddit and forums. You can meet girls practically everywhere, but your bedroom.

For the first time in our history, arguably going on for a couple decades now, the western world lives in a state of abundance. The only thing separating you from your personal happiness with the girl of your dreams is the overinflated ego which does not allow you to hurt yourself by getting rejected a little.

Not every girl is into you or will be into you. That said, most will be if:

You approach*
You are not a weirdo
You approach again*

*Be it cold approach, bar, club or wherever

geeered · 2018-12-22T10:40:30+00:00

Enough with the sugar-shaming.

I have always been ridiculously bad at "seduction", yet didn't grow up in an internet culture (age, not location) and grew up with an overall very low-sugar diet.

For what it's worth, my mum would regularly have a go at my for reading books too much when younger - there are plenty of distractions from 'the real world'.

So my advice (to myself, also) would be - stop to trying to find excuses and got on with making life the best you can be!

msawaie · 2018-12-22T11:25:55+00:00

Can I steal this for a school essay

Zammerz · 2018-12-22T11:45:57+00:00

People have gotten so bad at everything social that you have to work hard to have any sort of positive social interaction with others.

vesselofmadness · 2018-12-22T12:44:50+00:00

I agree to this too a degree. But you dont have to be alpha. You dont have to make six figures. You dont have to have an 8 inch plus donga to pull and keep a woman interested. All you have to be is confident in yourself. Accept yourself as you are. Own who you are at this moment and every other following. I'm a minority in a high male population and stil I'll do well. (Reletiveley) you under estimate and under value yourself. I did. But I'm letting go of my external validation seeking. You should too. If they dont like you dont take it to heart. I dont like some foods as much as a pig as I am. Let it go move to the next one. You deserve the affection of the type of lady you seek. Jus stop fixating on that one bird. As hard as I know it is. I've been there. Once a door closed another opens to something waaaaay better.

Yankee_Fever · 2018-12-22T13:55:53+00:00

do it for yourself. not because of some "systematic form of opression" designed to hold you back.

the game is the game. learn it, play it. beat it.

spencerworth · 2018-12-22T14:51:43+00:00

This is one of the most genuine and authentic threads I’ve ever seen. Great post and I entirely agree with you.

DAOcomment2 · 2018-12-22T15:12:17+00:00

Whining about how life is too easy, making you weak. A privilege of the modern, developed world. If you lived in a harsher place or time, the excuse becomes that life is too hard, making you weak. There is always an excuse.

Alphas hogging women and betas scrounging after a few scraps is a condition older than humanity. It exists all over the animal kingdom.

Alphas aren't born. They have to throw themselves into contests and win. Boys have always had to go through an ordeal to become men. Manhood isn't something you just age into for free. It is a transformation earned by surviving ordeals and tests. If you fail, you remain a boy and a beta forever. Success with women is one of those initiations and some of it is an ordeal.

You're angry that you have to figure out women, that is isn't easy? Please. STFU. Life is tough, nature is tough, but you are life, you are nature, therefore you are supposed to become tough enough to thrive under pressure. If getting tough hasn't been your project, get started. "Life doesn't get easier. You get better."

Never again whine about anything being tough. The weight is there for you to lift. Thank the weight for being heavy, lift it, and get stronger everyday.

TheUnsteadyDonut · 2018-12-22T17:15:59+00:00

If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. Hard is good, hard means that your success will be more meaningful

TheRealTopFive · 2018-12-22T17:19:50+00:00

Realest shit I ever read on here. 💯💯💯

poopfeast180 · 2018-12-22T23:22:41+00:00

Its not that hard.

superhanson2 · 2018-12-23T05:03:10+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that the reason modern society produces subs like this one is because women in the modern era have more options than ever, and that's not a bad thing. In fact, it's only in the modern day where an average looking guy with a job and a decent but unexciting personality can go his entire life without any woman's attention(until he learns some seduction).

From a historical perspective, the modern western female has more options than she would have at any point, so learning how to seduce women is a necessity in this modern period, when in previous eras of human history it wasn't as crucial. Looks and physical health always mattered, but personality and chemistry didn't matter as much, because women had less options in the past.

In the beginning, Humans lived in hunter gatherer tribes, which consisted of very small groups. Because these groups were so small, women just had sex with other tribesmen, who they likely knew from childhood. If a man died a virgiin in this era, it was probably due to a physical problem, early death, or imbalance in sex ratios, factors that don't really have anything to due with the man's ability to seduce.

Then when civilization developed, women had more options as societies became larger, but class distinction became more intense, and women were more dependent on men then ever. Now you had peasant women, who had to marry peasant man who owned a farm, since in many civilizations women couldn't own property. You had noble woman who absolutely had to marry some noble man, because you would ruin your family's prestige if you didn't find a noble man to support you, or tried to marry a handsome peasant instead. When civilization rose, women absolutely had to have men in their lives, and they would marry a man for their family's wealth or their plot of land, because women had no options for supporting themselves.

Then civilization went through industry, women became part of the workforce, and technology progressed to the point were we developed social media. This is the rise of first world nations that most of us on reddit live in. Women can now go their whole lives without men in their lives if the want to. Marriage is not the primary motivator for male and female interaction, some women just want a fling, and some want to find the one, because marriage is not as important to women and family building is more of a burden than a benefit to men in a wage-based economy where having many sons to work on the farm is irrelevant to much of the population.

Then social media gave both sexes more options than ever, but men, for one reason or another, benefit less from it. I'm sure you all heard the statistic from tinder that says women only swipe right on 15% of guys but men swipe right on 50%. I won't go into who caused this, but the point is women now don't need men for their socio-economic class, the internet and the size of society give them more men to choose from, and looks matter less because she can hook up with the top percentile of men with apps like tinder.

All of this is a good thing. Women have the options to go through their sex lives the way they want to now, and men have to stop relying on job stability(socio-economic class), looks and proximity to get women. Now men have to pay attention to the way they talk to women, we need to learn how to seduce.

Brett-Kavanaughty · 2018-12-23T11:37:58+00:00

Be good-looking, it works every time.

reneplee14 · 2019-01-24T16:51:37+00:00

Do you know what is the most complicated program in the world. THE BRAIN OF A WOMAN.

Time and experience taught me that the secret of attracting more Women in your life is INCREASING YOUR VALUE. The more you demonstrate higher values. The more women will realize that when around you,Their value also increases and life is somehow fun.

All you need is put on an appearance of confidence sometimes. And after a while others will start to believe it. And then life ends........
For more information. You can find me at Pleelife.com

Reneplee

Alex_O7 · 2018-12-22T09:22:46+00:00

Never see a more beta male post on this sub like this one.

Our ancerstor didn't have tinder, social media and the sexual freedom that we have now. So in their time there was other problems. Don't be a pussy and adapt to what you have now. It is plain simple what humankind have done for thousands of years.

1girldaily · 2019-01-02T00:17:58+00:00

It's not that simple.

Women have always selected for the most attractive top tier men. Always.

Yes in the past you might have been able to pull based on the fact that you are a man and she is a woman.

That doesn't work anymore... you need to develop yourself especially if you have no game and are awkward.

www.luxlifepickup.com

www.bradholiday.com

-Brad Holiday

1girldaily · 2018-12-22T02:08:27+00:00

What it is, is that our psychology... our prison of our childhood is what holds us back.

There are whole fields of study devoted to the study of human consciousness and ego/personality.

I actually wrote a whole book on this topic called 'the fear of women.' I will be releasing it shortly i think it will offer cool insights!

-Brad from luxlifepickup.com

DirtyBeanbag69 · 2022-08-21T15:06:36+00:00

Best post I've ever read on this sub.

ColdbloodedEdward · 2018-12-22T02:20:52+00:00

Don't blame manufacturers, blame fuckbooks, instabiches, snapshats, fuckerberg, etc. While there are many that are fucked beyond all repair, learn self improvement, don't waste time or money on games, etc

edit: looks like fuckbooking and playing world of warcraft is considered self improvement for /r/seduction lmao

Title	Why seduction is so hard
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	335
Comments	146
Date	December 22, 2018 12:18 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a8g0r2/why_seduction_is_so_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-seduction-is-so-hard.1459103 https://theredarchive.com/post/1459103

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