What does having strong "frame" mean?

Sorry_Highway_8810 · 2024-04-18T09:43:35+00:00

A frame is sort of the underlying assumption in conversation. If there is a conversation between 2 people each of them enters it with their own frame. The 'stronger' frame becomes the accepted underlying assumption in the conversation.

Let me give you an example, say you have a hobby that you are really passionated about, but really it's kind of nerdy. Could be Warhammer 40K, WOW, LOL, lego, anything really. If your assumption is "[my hobby] is the best shit since sliced bread, and everybody who doesn't know or like it is a fool" that will give the conversation about that topic a certain vibe. If your assumption going in is "[my hobby] is probably stupid and she doesn't like it", that colors the situation totally different.

So, in short, if you're confident with who you are, you believe in yourself and you've internalized your own values you project a strong frame. This strong frame can be an asset in game, as it makes certain situation easier to manage, e.g. shit tests, LMR. With a stronger frame you do not get emotional as easily about it, which leads to the girl conforming to your frame more easily. This also can allow you to lead with greater ease.

datmofu91 · 2024-04-18T14:55:09+00:00

Always think frame is who you are. If you are shy, quiet, and let every little thing bother you weak frame. If you are strong, confident, it shows. People can tell if you have a weak frame or strong, people usually don't like a weak frame as you know.

DaygameCode · 2024-04-18T11:16:59+00:00

The frame that you are the one who evaluated whether a girl is good enough for you, instead of holding the frame that you are the one who has to prove his worth to the woman.

This doesn’t mean that you tell her: “Show me that you deserve me” because that’s just arrogant, and would lead to an ego fight.

It simply means that whenever she says something that would force you to convince her to choose you, you simply refuse to sell yourself. It also means that rather than being immediately sold on her just because she is pretty, you talk to her in such a way, that you are kinda evaluating her and only rewarding her with an escalation if she has done or said something that impresses you.

For example:

“If there is one I think i love from a woman, is that she works out and takes care of her health, please tell me you workout”

If she says “yeah i actually do workout” or anything like that, she has just accepted the frame that she is the one who had to measure up to your standards. She might not have even realised in the moment, but she just did.

So if you said after that: “Awesome! I’m beginning to feel you are my kind of girl” you have just rewarded her with a little interest reinforcing the frame that she is there to prove her worth to you in an attempt to get you to like her.

———

Now let’s say she asks you back, i also like men who workout, do you work out?

Here you have to hold your frame that you are not there to sell yourself to her, but what if you actually do workout? You can’t just say that you don’t workout specially if it’s obvious that you do, but you also cannot say that you do in a way that would suggests you hope she chooses you because of it.

So the right answer would be something like:

“I do, but i kinda resent when i get unwanted attention from superficial women, because i prefer to connect with women on an emotional level, you feel me? So i hope you are not one of those”

This way, you have refused to sell yourself to her, and on top of that, you have again gone back to being the one who evaluates if the girl is good enough for you because she is now forced to say whether she is a superficial woman or not. You have maintained your frame.

But if you would have said something like: “Yeah i do, look! check my muscles. They are big huh? You like them?” you would have lost frame because now you are proving your worth. You are trying to impress her.

Practical_Window_919 · 2024-04-18T15:41:53+00:00

It's to embrace yourself, love yourself, and feel proud of who you are. When you genuinely believe in your worth, it will shine through in your actions and interactions with others. However, there's no need to feel superior to everyone else, as that can be a sign of low self-esteem. True contentment comes from being your authentic self without trying to impress others. This is what is referred to as "frame" - simply being true to yourself without feeling the need to hide or act in a way that doesn't align with who you are. So, let go of any negative self-talk and learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, and if others do the same - great. If not, no worries.

AzizLiIGHT · 2024-04-18T18:54:34+00:00

It means you don’t give off insecure vibes. You give an impression that you are confident, calm and collected. You do not show self doubt.

It doesn’t mean sit there like a stone.

It means being confident and consistent in who you are.

Ordinary_Yam1866 · 2024-04-18T10:36:59+00:00

Frame is an expression explaining how your view on the world is framed.

Having a strong frame basically means that you have strong opinions which cannot easily be changed by others, the side effect being that people usually conform to the more stable worldviews.

Let's take, for example, Tate. I personally disagree with 95% of what he says, but if you listen to him speak, he has such conviction and determination in his delivery, it makes you doubt yourself in thinking he is wrong.

Miguell7 · 2024-04-18T11:22:11+00:00

Means you are the shit. Even if you see not externally. As long as you internally believe it.

JONNY_IRL · 2024-04-19T01:42:58+00:00

Means you’re built like a ford pickup. Hope this helps.

TheBurningStag13 · 2024-04-18T17:55:01+00:00

I’m fairly certain that the phrase “strong frame” is being used in place of a much less kinder message: “You’re too weak..sorry. I need for you to be capable of picking me up without any actual effort. This is critical for my sexual fantasies.”

Stating that they require a “strong frame” in a potential partner/fwb/etc is far kinder way of stating their desire.

DaRockLobster · 2024-04-18T18:04:58+00:00

It is a complicated way of saying that you should be authentic, and to a lesser extent, particular when expressing yourself.

If you like something, be unwavering in the fact that you like the thing indifferent to what anyone else says or does, and have the ability to articulate to a nuanced degree why you like the thing you like.

I am adding this bit about the ability to effectively articulate yourself because of a real-world interaction I had:

I met a girl while cold approaching out at some bars a few weeks ago and we were getting to know eachother a bit over tacos after the bars closed. She asked about the kinds of things I am interested in, and one thing I noted is that I am interested in politics. She responded by saying , with an expression and tone suggesting she did not approve " you are one of those guys into politics huh?". Based on my experience, I recognized this later as a shit test. In the moment though, I responded by saying "well, i'm not seriously into politics, but I enjoy following the discourse and hearing the arguments being made by each side of the political sphere". She then responded, "Oh, so you like to argue huh?" , to which I flatly replied "yes, I absolutely love to argue ideas".

The reason I bring up this example specifically is because, on the surface, it might look like I failed the shit test as I "changed" what my stated likes are after she expressed disapproval, but in actuality I merely refined my statement to be more close to the sincere truth. Thinking back, she might have been shit testing me again when suggesting that I like to argue, but since it is the truth and I am an authentic person, I simply agreed with her directly with no hesitation (which would pass the shit test if she was attempting one).

thenefelibata · 2024-09-22T23:24:15+00:00

The king does not move from his throne. The peasants bring him things, and travel far to enter his ‘frame’ i.e. the court in front of his throne.

You will maintain your frame by moving less than the people and women who orbit your frame. Be solid, remain standing and don’t ever reach. As soon as you reach you enter her frame, and become a peasant whilst losing your king status.

Try and be the one who moves less in every interaction with her. Let her chase, crave your attention and come to you, be scarce and absent sometimes too.

The easiest way to do this is to maintain a rotation of girls you speak to, so you never get one it is. And also, have a mission. I’m focused on my business, and post insights into my mission on IG and it’s made a difference. Hotter women are noticing me and sliding in to my DMs, at the beginning I started chasing like a bitch but now I’ve learnt to not act like that and maintain my frame.

cemj86 · 2024-04-18T15:26:57+00:00

Something Internet pill dudes say. I wouldn't worry about it and stay as far from that mess as possible.

Be yourself and stand on it. Don't get caught up in incel lingo

Andrew__IE · 2024-04-18T10:55:28+00:00

I’ve seen multiple definitions so I can’t say this with certainty but the definition I’ve been following and the one I’ve felt confident using is this:

Frame is the dynamic of the interaction. Imagine you’re chatting with your homie and he’s sharing his passion for diecast car collecting with you. If you’re both sitting there and he’s leading the conversation while you’re listening about his hobby you’re in his frame.

Similarly if you’re interacting with a girl and you’re talking about your love for books with her, she’s in your frame. You don’t even have to be talking during most of the interaction, she could be doing more of the talking (which she should) as long as the conversation is being lead by you and your morals and your beliefs and your ideas.

The maintaining of a frame is a bit more complicated to me, as conversations happen so quick I don’t usually think about it until after the interaction is over, but let me try to explain to promote correction:

Maintaining frame is being firm in your beliefs and morals that she may test and holding the lead in what’s spoken about, how it’s spoken about (is it a funny conversation, an emotionally deep one, a serious conversation where you set a boundary, etc.) and how long it goes on.

That’s how I’ve understood it at least. Seduction gods, please, correct me if wrong.

ThroatFinal5732 · 2024-04-18T15:33:02+00:00

I could give a very lengthy answer, but this couple videos explain it in a better way than anyone could, I think. They also give you tips on how to improve your frame control (plus, they’re actually pretty fun):

https://youtu.be/Qj6qlr7H_no?feature=shared

https://youtu.be/6NQiHtbpa8s?feature=shared

OldManFlappyNuts · 2024-04-19T02:37:08+00:00

An oversimplification is to replace the term frame with ‘identity’. Everything comes from you as your mental point of origin. You’re to pull & bring the girl into your world, your conception of reality. She is along for your ride. You live for you, not for her and she could be a part of that if she’s worthy

mmmfritz · 2024-04-19T06:31:38+00:00

Frame drops when you think she’s too good for you then you start saying things or moving your body in a way that isn’t natural. The trick is to treat everyone equal. Stay humble but have a vibe. Present in the moment.

Job_looker18 · 2024-04-19T11:01:02+00:00

People say “strong” frame but really you want a strong MASCULINE frame. You can have a strong “frame” but if your frame is trying to win her over or being a comedian that isn’t exactly helpful. A strong masculine frame is a man who is sure of himself and nonreactive. Think of how your Grandpa acts versus an anxious middle school nerd trying to lose his virginity

SithLordJediMaster · 2024-04-19T13:23:03+00:00

It's using your foreamrs to create space between you and your opponent.

For example, someone shoots a takedown I use my forearms against their traps to create space then I sprawl and take their back and then move around or go for a submission.

Street_Savings_7003 · 2024-04-20T02:01:23+00:00

First time i heard about strong vs weak frame, but i figured this out all by myself some time ago. Reading this from others assured me i was right.

Basically it's being confident in who you are. Others put it in a better way.

Strong frame is real and makes a day and night difference when interacting with women. You can have a life and hobbies that are typically considered lame, but when you have strong frame you won't appear that way at all.

Khower · 2024-04-20T03:15:48+00:00

The simplest version is the tone, pacing, and subject matter are all controlled by you. The person who holds the frame is acting and the other person is reacting

Dandys3107 · 2024-04-18T11:26:53+00:00

It's about keeping congruent and clear set of rules. It's important for leadership, effectively navigating in life situations, opposing manipulation.

nintendoborn1 · 2024-04-18T13:36:53+00:00

Large side deltoids, large lats and traps. Large arms: bicep tricep and forearms

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-04-18T09:55:28+00:00

Stoic

AlexCosta · 2024-04-18T10:22:51+00:00

Personally, I think this whole “frame” talk is fucking stupid.

You are either a man or you are not. This whole “gotta be in your masculine frame” in front of women to attract them blows my mind when you actually think about it… so what… you are feminine when you are by yourself or with your boys?

People who say that they have different frames clearly don’t know their own identity and should stick to going to art galleries if they like frames so much.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-18T13:15:28+00:00

So when did the dating discussion community start using frame to mean this? It's odd for me to see "having a strong frame" mean anything other than having really good core strength/wide shoulders/etc? Was it intentional to use a phrase traditionally used in weightlifting and gym culture circles?

E: lol and why did this get downvoted? do you guys just not like someone asking a question? Weirdos

PrinceDestin · 2024-04-18T13:35:40+00:00

To me a strong frame isn’t too much on the physical side but what you represent, who you are as a man and that reflects in your actions, your responses and also down to how you walk, it’s essentially your essence

iiiamsco · 2024-04-18T11:00:32+00:00

The other commenters explained it, but ultimately “frame” is not going to make an already uninterested woman suddenly interested. As with all of the pua buzzwords, it only works if she already wants you.

Aramid55 · 2024-04-18T10:35:01+00:00

Big PP

Title	What does having strong "frame" mean?
Author	vigilanting
Upvotes	86
Comments	77
Date	April 18, 2024 9:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c6yv59/what_does_having_strong_frame_mean/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-does-having-strong-frame-mean.1515550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515550

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