WTF am I doing?

Orlando1701 · 2024-05-10T16:33:18+00:00

I started dating after my divorce I found my standard were impossibly high. I was 39 when we signed the papers and started looking at women 30-45 years old and my requirements were -

1) has $40 to their name 2) can walk up a normal ass flight of stairs and not got winded 3) your dad/brother/ex-husband isn’t paying your rent.

Those three things knocked out 95% of age appropriate women. Dating in your 30s and 40s really is just a disaster. So I kind of just learned to fly on solo mode. Lift heavy bars and work on old cars.

AffectionateFactor84 · 2024-05-09T15:31:13+00:00

idk. after 20 years of he'll and becoming single again, I first dated a few women I met. all weren't wrapped too tight. I tried the apps, only got attention from less than desirable. I'm not that picky, but being under 300 is the bare minimum. one side says don't bother, but then I met a cute one. I try, and it usually goes nowhere. I guess it's not that important to me anymore. I have 2 kids a house a decent job. I like eating what I want when I want and sleeping when I need to. having extra cash to do the things I want is nice, too.

AllisFever · 2024-05-08T11:25:56+00:00

Once you start letting your big head run your life instead of the little one, you will realize its not worth the hassel. Get a dog.

Ok_Kaleidoscope_9301 · 2024-05-08T03:32:30+00:00

Post divorce I gave up on valueless women with no family values 😂 Death by 1000 hoes 😂

Dry_Focus5409 · 2024-05-06T21:31:41+00:00

ooooff

HappyUnderstanding97 · 2024-05-06T13:20:16+00:00

Watch an up-to-date dating type, movie you'll learn a lot

Throwawaysi1234 · 2024-05-06T07:23:42+00:00

I'll give you some specific advice. The initial "getting to know you" conversation is easy enough to start if you use the acronym FORD

Family - what family do they have and where? What are they like?

Occupation - what they do for work. How long they have been doing it, how they got into it or what did they do before

Recreation - what do they like to do for fun

Dreams - what kinds of things do you want to do in the future?

Eventually there should be some kind of thread that you can follow in one of those topics where you can relate or where they like to talk about.

On top of that, the best way to be interesting is to be interested. Ask questions about them and actively listen giving cues like nodding your head, dropping "listening words" like "sure" or brief reactions and ask questions about what they're saying.

In addition women are on average looking for the below:

financial security
willingness to commit
social status especially within whatever subculture they are in
kindness
intelligence (various kinds, including social intelligence)
physical stature (weight, height and strength)

But it's very "show don't tell", especially not in an overt display. So if you mention you own a house, that's a big check in the financial security box. But if you tell her "I've got 50k in the bank" she'll think you're a social idiot.

Present yourself in a way that shows that you care about yourself. Well fitting quality clothes, good hygiene, good grooming.

Don't listen to people that want to talk about "that doesn't work for everyone". If you're looking for advice, then knowing what typically works is good even if it isn't what always works.

As to where to meet women, the statistics from PEW show that in order people tend to meet through:

Friends - 32%
Work - 18%
School - 17%
Online - 12%
Bars/restaurants - 8%
Place of worship - 5%

DPJKOG · 2024-05-06T06:50:11+00:00

r/seduction try this place for help.

jolleyutah · 2024-05-06T05:49:27+00:00

These comments are nothing! I'm about to leave a marriage after 30 years! I don't imagine the same old pickup lines I used in 1993 are going to work now; "Haver you heard about this internet thing? Not sure why they use it for but it sounds pretty cool" "You should page me sometime!" "Can I buy you a Zima?" "Can you believe Clinton got elected? Pretty cool that he plays the saxophone though." I think I am in for a huge challenge! Wish me luck!

Business-Hope-5414 · 2024-05-06T03:33:59+00:00

Big girls need lovin too… don’t try and look… the right person will come when you least expect it. Try going grocery shopping at 9 pm-10 pm at night…. Lonely women tend to do that.z so I’ve noticed…. I’m going through a tough divorce right now but all I care about is getting shared custody of my son. I will be contempt with being single for the rest of my life. Be confident in yourself…

Dad_travel_lift · 2024-05-06T02:13:46+00:00

The apps aren’t great, many of the best single woman aren’t on them.

Honestly one of the best ways to approach for me from a far is a wave and smile, it’s like pure gold. Works so well, then just talk. That only works with outgoing confident girls. Meeting shy/reserved women is really hard.

Sweetcheecks4 · 2024-05-06T01:06:41+00:00

You have say say hello to a women . Compliment her hair . Her clothes , they are easy , usually takes very minimal to get them to want you . Make sure you shower take care of yourself . Be confident. It will happen

sak144 · 2024-05-06T00:53:24+00:00

Go to youtube. Look up Razor Ramon - chicas are for fun!. Study that. Be him 🤣

pooptartone · 2024-05-06T00:23:23+00:00

Ya it’s tough. I’m 33 decent looking enough (my ex was pretty hot), but you have to cycle through some ugly ones for sure. Also it’s annoying repeating the same thing over and over with women. Get used to matching with girls and never hearing from them ever lol

dpatron · 2024-05-06T00:04:43+00:00

I befriended some youngish bartender and waitress. Id buy their drinks and meals and tell them to get me ready for the battlefield. Made great friends and hooked up with all their friends. It was like shootinhmg fish in a barrel. I mean i didnt even try hard and was straight up honest with them. That was all it took. But "make friends" is the moral of the story. Those friends have lots of other friends.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-05-06T00:02:08+00:00

Be well groomed and dressed nicely. Sit at the bar at a piano lounge and they will come to you. Watch out, some of them want to be paid for the night 😂

garyscomics · 2024-05-05T23:53:34+00:00

Another question for a guy about to get divorced: do the apps actually work?

Any-Dare-7261 · 2024-05-05T23:48:32+00:00

“What are you getting into this weekend?” Is that creepy for a 40yr old divorced guy?

thrownaway41422 · 2024-05-05T23:36:19+00:00

No advice for you here, but I want to hear what others have to say about this too. I haven't picked up a woman in 26 years. "What are you majoring in?" doesn't work at 45 nearly as well as it did at 19.

Title	WTF am I doing?
Author	DarkKn1ghtyKnight
Upvotes	23
Comments	44
Date	May 5, 2024 7:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ckzcyh/wtf_am_i_doing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wtf-am-i-doing.1517474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517474

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