Divorced at 28, together 7 years and she cheated. Healed well with therapy and trying to date again, is this a big turn off or flag for women in mid - late 20’s?

TheLawOfDuh · 2024-06-01T21:33:20+00:00

Get over any perceived stigmas. You either hit it off with someone or you don’t-everyone’s hangups/beliefs/needs/wants are different. The right person will accept you & your past…the wrong ones won’t for that and hundreds of other reasons. Don’t be jaded by someone’s incredible looks along with a lot of at-the-moment attraction. Keep your eyes on the big picture. Divorce is sooo common anymore but it’s true for some it may be a hard no…and that’s their loss especially in your situation where you did nothing wrong. Just keep trying. Good partners ARE out there but it takes a lot of trying/dating. I’ve been divorced a couple of times (vert similar situations) and being upfront was honest and (as far as I know) always accepted by my dates.

dudefromyork · 2024-05-30T11:52:33+00:00

If you’ve got great arms, they can overlook a lot! 😆

ExtensionAir9675 · 2024-05-30T08:59:09+00:00

Am getting divorced next month and am 31. But i dont worry about what other woman will think of this. You are worrying about the future which is unknown man. Enjoy ur present. Some women may have an issue with u being divorced but not all. You will never know what happen in the future the way you never thought u will be divorced.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-05-29T22:24:07+00:00

I'm 37, and went on some dates over the past two years. Youngest was 26, and she didn't care I was divorced. I let everyone know up front, but I don't talk about it beyond that. If pushed for details, I just say she wanted to see other men and leave it at that.

Now, if you ever talk about divorce, or anything bitter or whiney, yeah, that'll kill the mood dead.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-05-29T18:44:13+00:00

Get a prenuptial agreement signed if you get married again. I say that from the beginning so they can’t be surprised if and when I ask. I’d also stack some premarital assets like a house and brokerage account. As far as red flags, interactions with other people is the biggest test. See how she is with friends, family and co-workers. Prior relationships tell part of the story too. Bunch of short relationships or single for a long time scream red flag.

Reasonable-Mix2948 · 2024-05-29T16:29:05+00:00

While there will be some women in the age range you mentioned that might have an issue with you being previously married, there will be plenty of women who will have no issue with it. You'll be just fine.

Grouchy_Software963 · 2024-05-29T14:44:40+00:00

Since you don't have kids, have you thought about just brushing over it? Don't mention it, but if you are asked be honest and say ' I got married young, and we grew appart'

captainchippsixx · 2024-05-29T14:44:25+00:00

Don’t rush into anything. Actually You’re a prime target for the age 27-30 hitting the wall women.

Never ask to be exclusive, let them. Don’t chase. Let them chase. You have the keys to any relationship.

It takes years to know how a woman and how she going to react. They are Master actresses.

I would wait at least 4 years to get married while in a relationship and then the final test is moving in. Usually when you hit some big obstacles/losses in life, the woman will go one way or the other. Does she back you or does she go the other direction.

Focus on your career grind. Stack the assets. Women are not a priority.

lilMike2000 · 2024-05-29T13:11:22+00:00

Of course it's going to be an issue with some and not with others. That's the beauty of life... variety.

In the grand scheme of things, it almost doesn't matter. This is your reality, can't go back and change the past. Move on. This is just another battle scar. If you keep on dwelling on: "will they have an issue" it will start to become a crutch every time you get rejected.

I would refrain from even giving this line of thought strength. No need to create new mental hurdles... Life is hard enough as is. Onwards we march soldier!

Dmullen5 · 2024-05-29T12:50:27+00:00

Everyone has baggage. I was divorced when I was 28 and most of the woman I’ve talked to didn’t care. They appreciated that I was transparent and open about it — obviously not divulging everything too soon but just sharing, hey, just so you know, I’m divorced. Let me know if there’s any questions.

insanityisinherit · 2024-05-29T12:22:37+00:00

Some will see this as an issue. Maybe they see it as baggage and they want someone less jaded or more innocent etc. The good thing for you is those are her red flags. The woman you're looking to date does not see this as a problem. A lot of men in their late 20s have exes. So use this as a litmus test for the maturity of the caliber woman you're looking to date and date with purpose.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-05-29T12:15:27+00:00

You don't have kids, so that's a big bonus.

airandseabattle · 2024-05-29T11:43:21+00:00

I feel you. 41 with 2 kids. But I met a lovely woman after divorce who is okay with my baggage. It took time, though, because I needed to be okay being alone before being with someone else.

Godhealthfam1 · 2024-05-29T11:41:53+00:00

The important thing is being your true authentic self and feel 100% confident in who you are and what your values are. She cheated, not you, it’s not your shame to carry. Keep in therapy and rebuild yourself. It’s not what you’ve done or experienced in your life that defines you, it’s what you learned from it. Did you use this experience to learn and grow as a person? Or did it just cause you to become bitter and resentful? Share the truth with everyone, including how you have really grown from it.

Best wishes - you can do this!!

EmCee311 · 2024-05-29T11:08:50+00:00

Agree with what others have mentioned. Don’t rush into things, we have similar stories. Would you want to be with someone who would hold that against you in the long run? It’s not something I’d mention right off the bat but I wouldn’t hold it in forever either. My therapist framed it like this: you took a chance at love with someone and ultimately it didn’t work out, I think most sensible women can get behind that, it shows you were committed. If not, it’s on to the next

danneedsahobby · 2024-05-29T10:20:21+00:00

Is there anything that can be done to change the fact that you are 28 and divorced? Nope. So don’t worry about it. Whether it’s a stain or not, it is what it is.

Accomplished_Gene176 · 2024-05-29T07:13:46+00:00

Why do you need to tell them? Maybe if the conversation comes up someday. Just act as a single guy thats it

Potential_Item610 · 2024-05-29T06:19:48+00:00

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result - continue therapy and self growth mate and do not re-marry.

Sir_Creamz_Aloot · 2024-05-29T03:36:17+00:00

you're worrying too much.

crak84 · 2024-05-29T03:01:34+00:00

You're worrying too much. You're about to hit your prime. If you have your shit together, have no problem approaching, and can hold a conversation, women will be all over you.

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