Showing mental weakness is a turnoff to most women.

lookma24 · 2024-06-19T23:42:08+00:00

If she already knows you to be strong, capable, and stable, then emotional vulnerability can deepen attraction as it makes you more human/relatable. She already knows you can and do handle it. Doses of being real can deepen that.

If she doesn’t know you, emotional vulnerability makes you look weak and unable to handle things, so it kills attraction.

Sometimes it’s expressed as the container metaphor. Masculine energy leads and sets the boundaries and shape of the container in which her feminine energy can open and express itself. But if she doesn’t trust your container, that doesn’t happen.

You have to lead, and she has to develop the trust that you can and will continue to lead.

Mental weakness is always a turn off.

david-lee-roth- · 2024-06-19T23:45:44+00:00

I always cry and tell them I’m bipolar on first meeting. That’s usually how I approach women.

Seductive_allure3000 · 2024-06-19T22:28:25+00:00

So I stood up to my toxic supervisor because she was being a bully and no one was putting her in her place, so in spite she went around spreading rumours that I was crying over a girl. It was pure jealousy. Anyway because she's so manipulative, the Women at work turned against me and the atmosphere became toxic.

So in answer to your question, yes.

1nfam0us · 2024-06-19T22:27:01+00:00

Any woman who would think less of you for crying isn't worth being with. Sure, a lot of women do it, but that doesn't make that tendency any less shitty.

Feeling the need to mask your own humanity just to be in a relationship with a woman is profoundly desperate behavior.

Being comfortable with loneliness is a whole lot stronger. In your head, women should be competing against your own internal peace. If they don't make your life better, then why would you want them in it?

Also, here's my hot take: holding someone to a standard where they have to always be unemotional or only display positive emotions, explicitly or implicitly, is emotional abuse.

warrior_in_a_garden_ · 2024-06-19T23:34:55+00:00

What about disclosing that you’re bipolar?

raulalexo99 · 2024-06-20T03:04:51+00:00

Yeah. Wanna turn off a girl as fast as possible? Tell her about your problems in the first - second date.

I learned this the hard way. Not gonna happen again.

They wanna see you as a fun dude on the first dates, don't show your weaknesses too early. It backfires immediately.

Kavika · 2024-06-20T00:33:34+00:00

While mostly true there is a silver lining in that a woman that isn't turned off is keeper material and worth investing in.

Captain_w00t · 2024-06-19T23:35:04+00:00

I think this is yet another generalization plus misconception.

Being not afraid to show your vulnerability with confidence is different from showing weakness (which might happen in several ways, like emotionally overreacting to some joke).

It’s not the specific act of crying to be a turn off, it depends by the context and a myriad of factors, including the level of rapport established.

And regarding mental health/issues, it depends if they are thing of the past or an actual one. Nobody would start to date someone which is struggling.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2024-06-20T04:06:59+00:00

It’s true but people need to take this advice with a grain of salt.

Being vulnerable and/or “weak” in front of your romantic partner should NOT be taken lightly. You Should NOT be vulnerable with your partner if you genuinely DON’T feel comfortable or ready to be vulnerable.

Yes. Women will claim they want to see it, and yes, many times, they are lying to themselves. What many women mean when they say this is that they want you to feel confortable with them to be vulnerable about heavy subject matters. Crying because your friend died, is the intimacy they want. Crying because someone said something unkind to you, every other day, is usually turn off.

Just be mindful. Be selective. [+]

Recktion · 2024-06-19T23:37:32+00:00

Think it depends on what you're crying about. Crying because another man abused you is gonna turn her dryer than the Sahara. Crying because a grandparent passed away is going to bring out her nurturing instinct.

I've never had crying have a negative influence with a girl I was in a relationship with. Have heard multiple girls complain about men they had dated in the past that made them see that man as a bitch. Generally when the guy is afraid of other people or isn't standing up for himself.

noiceonebro · 2024-06-20T02:43:13+00:00

Better to avoid women like that to be in a relationship with. Those kinds of women are better suited for one night stands, because they’d probably need a lot more perspective and life experience before being in a real relationship.

Minimum-Building-218 · 2024-06-19T22:31:29+00:00

100% its a turn off for women. Women want to be lead and feel secure by a driven man. I have seen women that rule the roost in other relationships which i guess is ok until they meet someone that is more mentally masculine than the man they are with and then the attraction to the current man dies out.

Boy_Wond3rr · 2024-06-19T23:03:55+00:00

Spot on. Woman will say this and immediately give you a cold shoulder the minute you cry like a bitch.And the thing is people will say “oh don’t generalise ,no she’s not the one “ but it’s literally all of them. It definitely does something with their energy when they see mental weakness.

SalamanderNo3872 · 2024-06-20T02:20:19+00:00

Weak people are a turnoff in general. Weak people make poor decisions and they are dangerous to be around.

DaygameCode · 2024-06-20T00:29:01+00:00

All of these things will be answered as long as you try doing this thing and the opposite for comparison with a lot of women.

In my experience i try both and the conclusion is that more way more often than not women don’t respond well to vulnerable men.

So my advice to you is don’t do it no matter what the woman may say about how much she would like you to be open with your vulnerable side. And most experienced men will tell you the same.

Consider advice from a woman about this stuff as a trap to filter guys and not as a helpful thing that will connect you more to her, because it won’t.

No_Opening_3200 · 2024-06-19T22:27:24+00:00

Never opens up emotionally with women, not even with your mom or future wife.

Ronnyvar · 2024-06-20T03:13:21+00:00

all women

BigVisual5833 · 2024-06-20T08:42:42+00:00

I'd say like 99%, even the depressed chicks, in her mind she can be as mentally unstable as possible but not the guy

FiftyNereids · 2024-06-20T10:49:20+00:00

100% true. Showing emotion is a short ticket into the permanent friend zone. Women will always wish men were more emotional but when they do show it, it is game over for the guy.

coffeecoast · 2024-06-20T11:53:35+00:00

The man im seeing is very masculine, strong, and capable. When he shows vulnerability it’s very subtle. It’s in the words that he is saying when we have a meaningful conversation and not exactly in the way that he says them. But in a potential partner if a man is complaining all the time and hot headed. This is something I view as a weakness. Tbh it’s the delivery.

unknown-one · 2024-06-20T13:41:39+00:00

reeeeeeeee

Epiphanic_Eros · 2024-06-20T14:44:29+00:00

Half true. Vulnerability is great, but women really get turned off by guys who are not centered.

In other words, sort your shit out, get to a place where you’re centered and basically happy regardless of the circumstances. Then, when you meet a woman, you can be very honest about the difficulties you’ve had and it will increase intimacy and trust

MrCensoredFace · 2024-06-20T17:40:53+00:00

Tbh it's not crying as much as it is frequency of crying. U will cry eventually if u are gonna live with her. It's more like how often u cry. If u cry like once every 4 years it's fine. Crying once a week then u are weak af.

Medium-Combination44 · 2024-06-20T20:49:09+00:00

If a guy doesn't cry at least a couple times in front of me I'm going to be worried. If he cries alllll the time it's a red flag because they're either abusive and can't control themselves or they're immature and crying about stupid stuff. So crying is not a turn off but ALWAYS crying...red flag

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2024-06-20T05:05:42+00:00

I don't think most women care, but yeah if you're crying and going into deep emotional subjects within the first 3 meetings she's going to think you aren't really stable and will stay away. Doesn't have anything to do with masculinity.

leopardlinn · 2024-06-20T05:18:51+00:00

It really depends —

I find it very attractive when men can talk about feelings. I love when someone shows me they feel safe enough to be vulnerable with me. For me, being a couple is teamwork. Whatever hurdle throws our way, we fix it together.

I don’t, however, find it attractive when a man complains about his issues/problems/mental health, but does literally 0 to help himself. And never accepts help from others.

I find that gross. Honestly. Because it’s about taking accountability/responsibility of yourself and your happiness.

In my experience, people (both men and women), who does this, puts pressure on other people to fix their problems. Cause they don’t wanna do the work. I don’t find that attractive, at ALL. I get that people struggle. We all do at times. Some more than others. I’ve been on the worst end of it all, but I still did whatever I could, no matter how small.

Maybe I’m just super judgemental. Idk.

lameboigenie · 2024-06-20T05:00:44+00:00

If you cry because you stumped your toe yea. But any sane worthwhile woman will only respect your more if you have a strong passionate character and you cry as an expression of your true heart felt feelings

Drknz · 2024-06-20T06:12:40+00:00

What a woman says you should do versus what they biologically are attracted too are very different.

2024-06-20T05:05:38+00:00

Deep and meaningful conversations can help close some girls. Coming from someone who’s closed like 70+ these last few years

innergamedude · 2024-06-20T17:46:48+00:00

Oh, you're close but so far off it's mildly dangerous. The turnoff is NEEDINESS. She's not your shoulder to cry on, but that doesn't mean you can't have any feelings. Being able to take care of your own needs is what matters.

It's like you've never seen an emo college kid play guitar and clean house.

It takes bravery to put yourself out there and show who you are. Women respect that when done from a place of CONFIDENCE. This was the "Lost a lot of good men out there" cliche in Wedding Crashers: they were manipulatively finding ways to draw women in by being (apparently) open themselves. In their case, it was complete manipulation, but the principle stands. Show a little depth, personality, and vulnerability and you invite her to do the same. What are the things you care about that get you fired up? She will respond to that if you're doing it while not needing something out of her.

horses_around2020 · 2024-06-20T19:06:36+00:00

False!!, thats a myth ! 🙄🙋🏾‍♀️

Objective_Ostrich776 · 2024-06-21T00:47:35+00:00

Only date when you are feeling good with yourself

EagleOk6674 · 2024-06-22T15:50:31+00:00

I cry in front of my wife at least once a week and she's obsessed with me. It's all situational.

Secrecy_Guaranteed · 2024-06-24T23:49:06+00:00

Sometimes it's the case. But if I show it, I do not care. Specially because to approach I have to show some anxiety. So fuck it, I am gonna do what I have control over.

Talsol · 2024-07-17T17:52:14+00:00

Telling girls I’m in therapy (not immediately after meeting them) gets me brownie points though

Aristox · 2024-06-19T22:45:15+00:00

no absolutely. I wonder who started a myth that they have empathy.

you must turn your heart cold and calculating and cruel. both men and women will start falling to your feet.

bob88c · 2024-06-19T22:38:51+00:00

Quality is not very good…

Sharp-Particular-145 · 2024-06-20T13:53:55+00:00

Opened up to my ex about a severe panic attack I had and some issues I was dealing with surrounding the death of my father…one week later she broke up with me…not saying the two are 100% related but the timing is certainly unfortunate. Girls just want to have fun.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-06-20T04:47:54+00:00

I spent the last fifteen years making it a point to deconstruct what's known as "toxic masculinity". I did it because I was tired of putting on a front of being a stoic, emotionless jackass. I did well. I'm more vulnerable around my wife and my other partners, and I haven't had any issues getting women. In fact, it's helped. A lot.

But I also recognize that I'm 6' 4" tall, lift weights, shoot guns, and do martial arts. I'm able to show my vulnerability to my partners because I spent decades turning myself into John Wick (I am not even close to being John Wick, don't @ me). I'm also a Dom in the kink community, so that also helps. If you want to be safe to be vulnerable around women, it helps to be the type of person that men would be too scared to give you shit as well.

I also have good, loving partners. If I was dating someone who mocked me for showing emotions, I would (and have) shut that shit down immediately. It helps to find women that don't, you know, suck.

On the other hand, men are similar to women, at least in the beginning of dating. If I was dating a woman for a short time and every time I saw her she'd break down ugly crying about something, I'd probably break it off with her and suggest she talk to a therapist. We're all trying to project our best selves in the beginning. It takes a while before either side is really safe from being seen as imperfect.

If you continue to pretend to be a stoic, emotionless robot, a good woman will eventually leave you. Trust me on this one.

riccardo2002ric · 2024-06-20T07:14:14+00:00

Call me misogynist but I don't even listen to women's words that state something about my performance/value. They are just worthless because women are swayed by emotions like a small boat is swayed by a tsunami, so they could say the most egregious things in the heat of emotion or even in normal state sometimes. Just look at their actions: if they match the words then fine otherwise it's like those words were never spoken.

bloodstone99 · 2024-06-20T12:13:29+00:00

I've been recenty on a date and i opened up about myself and about the struggles and how i worked on them. She told me to my face that she is keen to listen but do not seek anything else with me. FFWD i am driving and we are talking, some dude fell off his bike so i stopped immediately and went to help lift his enormous bike in the rain & perform first aid. 15mins later, she tells me how attracted she is towards me and that she doesnt undertstand what is happening to her.

Title	Showing mental weakness is a turnoff to most women.
Author	DDDystopia666
Upvotes	348
Comments	107
Date	June 19, 2024 10:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1djvcob/showing_mental_weakness_is_a_turnoff_to_most_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/showing-mental-weakness-is-a-turnoff-to-most-women.1522080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522080

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