I fucked up the best opportunity I've ever had

Discopotatoz · 2024-09-02T20:07:27+00:00

Regret is so much more painful than rejection

Chasin1337 · 2024-09-02T19:21:10+00:00

Keep working on your appareance phyiscally and mentally and opportunities like this will only multiply. The fact you noticed this and see it is a mistake, own it and tell yourself what you would do the next time.

creativedave73 · 2024-09-02T20:38:19+00:00

We all have these type of regrets. The next time you're in a similar situation, you're going to talk her up and get her number right?

Honest_Bruh · 2024-09-02T20:42:00+00:00

Literally just say "hey how's it going" next time. You're trying to think of a perfect opener and overcomplicating it.

Connie_Lingus- · 2024-09-02T20:19:48+00:00

I'm very shy, and my go-to is always to keep to myself, or in this case focus on my son. We play little games in line. At one point i climbed up on the rails in a manner that let me discreetly show off my physique. When my son and then her daughter started climbing the rails,I laughed about being a "bad daddy" and a bad influence. I apologized to her and she laughed it off. Her smile was radiantly beautiful and inviting. She held my gaze and bit her lip. I smiled back and looked at my feet.

Man I never hear this sub talking about how good kids are as wingmen. They're so good. Like Jedi mind trick good.

Almost every woman I know, including myself, feels 1000% safer around the calm, confident, loving, authoritative, happy dads then the other types of dads. Same goes for the men without kids who have the "good dad energy".

Obviously don't go out of your way to pickup women through your kids, but if the opportunity is there gents take it.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-02T19:38:39+00:00

That “silence/not talking” zone can be like a binding spell, paralyzing you. Now it’s worse when you realize there’s a hot chick within your reach. You start overthinking, start talking to yourself in your head, start wondering what should you say to her, etc, etc.

That’s why I always suggest: with or without a hot chick around you, when you’re in that kinda situation (a long line, in a crowd) just be social. Initiate a small talk with people around you. Men, women, old, young. Consider it as a practice so when the moment comes around not only “you’re ready” but it’s already your habit. You’re already in your “talking zone” even before she appears.

Funky_hobbo · 2024-09-02T20:33:57+00:00

Bro, think about this for your second, the next time this happens just do it but not for you, but for your son.

Hear me out, do you want your son to grow up confident and social? Or shy and retracted?

If you start showing him that you can start conversations with strangers out of nowhere, laugh together or even flirt a little bit with women of any age, he will remember that when he is growing up and he will have a better time around strangers.

I once saw in a line a single dad with his 2 sons flirting with a lady that was obviously single. They were just ignoring the fact that their father is flirting with a woman, like if they were already used to it (he even used them as "material" for his game, hard to explain briefly). The only thing I could think of was that I wish I had a man in my family that social and confident so at least I had a role.

Think about it.

Btw how old is your son?

srwat · 2024-09-02T19:21:51+00:00

A saying I've been looking to live by whenever I am hesitant to make some kind of move is that famous one everybody knows: "You miss all the shots you don't take."

You'll get it next time. This won't be the best opportunity that you run into.

HotAir25 · 2024-09-02T20:36:26+00:00

I’m very similar to you, I’ve had these situations many, many times….I wish I could say that I leant my lesson and spoke up but I’m still a shy guy.

One thing I would say is normally when I do speak up it’s like spell has been broken and it’s much easier to chat and normally the girl is a nice person and even if it doesn’t lead anywhere it’s a nice encounter.

You’ll get more chances like these…take a chance.

The_rock_hard · 2024-09-02T21:20:27+00:00

A whole timeline with this woman in my life opened before me

Well...there's your problem right there. Of course you were too scared to go speak to her! You'd already determined she'd be your future wife, without even consulting her first. This is exactly the type of thing that creeps women out, and it makes it soooo hard to overcome your approach anxiety.

You need to practice introducing yourself to people. All people. Get good at introductions. Introductions need to be such a routine part of your life that it won't even phase you when you happen to be introducing yourself to an attractive woman.

G-d is never going to give you an easy road. Why would G-d drop the woman of your dreams into your lap, you'd never appreciate her properly if that was the case. G-d gave you an amazing gift here; a clear sign of a path to take. G-d showed you that you have a lot of personal work to do before you're going to meet the woman of your dreams.

SeinfeldFrasier · 2024-09-02T22:26:09+00:00

A key take away that people might be missing is that standing in line is not always bad.

In fact, if there are multiple lines, why not wait until a prospect gets in line before you decide when and where to get in line

AlchemistEngr · 2024-09-02T20:35:42+00:00

This will be one of the risks you didn't take that you'll look back on when you're old and gray.

Hey, take your kid back to the amusement park. If you spot her, go up and say hello. She will recognize you. If you're stuck for a line, just be honest and say "Look, I can be really shy at times and miss opportunities. I've been kicking myself for not asking for your name and number last time." Yes, its bold, but its honest. She'll love it. Just keep reminding yourself, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Banhammer40000 · 2024-09-02T19:37:16+00:00

It’s easy to get intimidated by beautiful women and not know what to say, fumble the opening/delivery, especially at places unexpected like this. I get like that and I don’t do it to pick up people. Just to have a conversation or pay them genuine compliments

Don’t beat yourself up over it. There will be other opportunities to show the world your charm.

Environmental-Sir845 · 2024-09-02T21:03:39+00:00

that was extremely well written. I don't know if it was written by a human, or AI, or an AI writer/human editor combo (my guess is the 3rd of these) but good job, whoever you are. You should turn this combination loose on Penthouse letters (if that even still exists) and make a killing. Totally up to snuff in my opinion. Nicely done.

gardenofeden123 · 2024-09-02T21:31:16+00:00

Haha, we’ve all been there so don’t worry.

Social skills are a muscle and you need to start working on it so in future you’re prepared for spots like this.

I’d advise anyone to go through a 6-12 month cold approach regimen. Results don’t matter (though you will deffo get some) but you will learn how to talk to strangers, build comfort and close.

b1polarbear · 2024-09-03T07:50:40+00:00

Good lord man, stick your hand out and say, "Hi. I'm DSporks."

Iistendipshit · 2024-09-03T08:54:45+00:00

You're clearly shy and uncomfortable to make small talk, with anyone I suppose. If you're not used to doing small talk with fellow parents or any stranger, of course it's going to be 900x harder to do that with a beautiful woman. So start today by having small talk with anyone, no matter who. With the uber driver, with the cashier, with a random stranger, with someone who walks a dog, with another parent. That way you will become witty and socially skilled, and prepared for another chance.

thatdood87 · 2024-09-03T12:46:02+00:00

Damn dude u started to fall in love with her myself while reading this, what a sad story man. You're probably gonna think of her for a long time.

Heavy-Way2 · 2024-09-03T13:29:25+00:00

More opportunities will come

GoldenBeaverTeeth · 2024-09-02T19:24:34+00:00

yeah it is what it is.

try go go back to the park the same time on the same day. she likely lives in the neighbourhood if she goes to that park right?

ur a bit in ur head too much. be more direct. women like confidence more than muscles.

MouseAware809 · 2024-09-02T19:57:37+00:00

Just my thoughts on this:

A) Do not beat yourself up, you attracted someone you found attractive. That is good. Smile, be happy about it.

B) You had some sense of lack of self worth. Maybe you need to address this.

C) When the door is open, you walk through it. It will not always stay open.

D) You are attracting people, so whatever your doing is working

E) "I'm very shy, and my go-to is always to keep to myself" You are obviously attractive and you ARE worthy of connection. Learn this, believe it.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2024-09-02T20:40:00+00:00

I've run into a similar situation at a water park and I think you did the right thing for the wrong reasons. You are there to hang with your son and not to flirt with hoes. At most I would have discreetly asked for her number near the end of the line because she was most likely just bored in line and flirting with you and getting your free attention.

sunlighthurts- · 2024-09-02T21:41:32+00:00

Hard to see outside the situation if you are feeling so strong emotionally toward it. But there will be a next time just learn from it and apply the next time. At least you can smile and be proud that you were able to build some attraction!!

berzerker5000 · 2024-09-03T00:48:45+00:00

3 second rule man. Every second longer you wait the paralysis sets in and becomes impossible to surmount along with her attraction waning due to hesitation.

LegendaryZTV · 2024-09-03T01:57:12+00:00

A whole timeline with this woman in my life opened before me,

That pedestal is gonna ruin it every time. Sorry this happened for you, we all have these moments. If anything, learn from it. Just think of becoming friends to keep the pressure low & then once you’ve gotten past pleasantries, work up from there.

Its like you’re going for a jog but instead of running down the street, you’re choosing to scale a mountain

Professional_Yard_76 · 2024-09-03T05:23:10+00:00

you literally had a 1 min interaction, got a smile and now you are obsessing about it, right? certainly not "the best opportunity I've ever had." sure you can think about what you would do next time but the beating yourself up doesn't change the behavior. WHAT SPECIFIC ACTION WOULD YOU DO NEXT TIME?

Lit-Up · 2024-09-03T05:55:38+00:00

Hi man I think that another thing you can take from this is you need to wipe the mental slate clean now. By that I mean, don't think about this woman any more, put the memory out of your head as if it didn't happen, just take the principle you need of action and take it forward. Keep making opportunities and run with them.

Osiris_Raphious · 2024-09-03T08:51:53+00:00

Shoot the shots, yes.

But dont dwell on what could have been. You dont know what she was thinking, and hindsight is a bitch, but also you could be totally wrong. So dont worry about it, live in the now, learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the now.

realIkbenoud1 · 2024-09-03T12:03:19+00:00

OP, it sounds like you were more interested in her opinion of you than your own happiness, even if it was subconscious. I recommend you read Models by Mark Manson. This book is not like your ordinary pickup book. It focuses more on yourself and what you find important in order to become more attractive than using pickup lines.

And more importantly, dont keep yourself in this state of mind. You will meet someone like that again sooner or later. And if the gods are really kind, it might be her, lol.

theprodigy2120 · 2024-09-03T13:01:09+00:00

I've been there before. I know how it feels. But I recommend you change your mindset.

You titled this post " I fucked up the best opportunity I've ever had"

Its not a fuck up. You simply had an experience, and you learned from it. There will be other girls out there.

Heavy-Way2 · 2024-09-03T13:26:50+00:00

More opportunities will come

ViolaDavis · 2024-09-03T15:25:24+00:00

Strike while the iron is THERE

ApplicationOk8440 · 2024-09-05T19:36:25+00:00

Next time follow the Mystery Method old rule of seduction, 3 second rule. When you see a woman your feeling her, you attracted, you got those feelings, go in and say hi. Within 3 seconds, its all it takes after that all the preconcive ideas will pop up in your head and you will psych yourself out. Convicing yourself not to do it. You will end up not doing anything just like million other guys. That why the 3 second rule was made up in seduction long time ago. But after your get used to doing it everytime you see a beautiful women you like, you will just react naturaly. Will approach her without thinking. Once the 3 second rule is mastered.

timjohnbrad11 · 2024-09-08T10:53:33+00:00

Adjust, internalise and move on

Outside_Argument_770 · 2024-09-02T19:54:02+00:00

Search for Good Looking Loser approach anxiety program. I'm about to do it. It's free but I have to admit I'm terrified. I just got dumped and blocked and am tired of not having options immediately available. My friend did this program and became an approaching machine.

DNUS5 · 2024-09-02T19:48:52+00:00

Iam no pro. This is my own theory.

You found her out of your league. That's why you got week knees. If she was ugly you would have no problem taking to her.

Go talk to a lot of 5/10 girls. Fuck them.

Then fuck some 7-8/10. Build up your confidence. Just build it up so one Day you have the confidence and Skills to chat up and lay a 9-10/10 woman.

Nobody won the OL without training first. Enjoy the ride mate.

Title	I fucked up the best opportunity I've ever had
Author	DSporks42
Upvotes	239
Comments	62
Date	September 2, 2024 7:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1f7f2r1/i_fucked_up_the_best_opportunity_ive_ever_had/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-fucked-up-the-best-opportunity-ive-ever-had.1529191 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529191

Comments