Guys I'm still struggling, on the outside I feel fine, but there are days that I'm not ok at all. I finally finished changing things at the house, everything that reminded me of her is gone. I'm in therapy which is helping. I see my friends, I have the kids 7 days a week. They are doing fine. I broke down the other day and I called her asking why she did this to me robbing me of my family and what I thought we had and, my in-laws whom I loved. She said with a cold voice, you are strong and you will be okay. That really cut through me. I guess I'm still grieving the loss of what I've lost. I wake up in the middle of the night all the time. I just don't know when I'm going to find closure. She has moved on so quickly and I still struggle from the pain. I guess it's a process.

I have taken the following steps that we do not do any exchange on the last day. That she should get her own stuff so I don't get to see her and we have no more exchange of things. We used to see each other once a week to exchange stuff. Perhaps in time I'll learn to deal with her but currently I'd rather not see her at all. Just wanted to share. I used to be a stable guy, always smiling being there for everyone, now my self confidence is gone. I think she destroyed me and I just don't know how long my healing is going to take. I do all the gym stuff, long walks, read, friends taking me out, to festivals etc and yet I feel a great loss.

I guess I need time.