Just wanted to post a quick update to a thread I posted the other day about dating:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hofpt7/did_you_guys_give_your_stbxw_the_courtesy_of/

*TLDR of OP*
29m, two kids, spearated for 16 months, divorce almost final, tossing up the idea of dating

Update:

To make a long story short, a female commented on a picture I uploaded after Christmas asking if I was single, me being flirty replied and asked if she was trying to change that. And brother, it was on. (I STILL haven't even met this lady in person yet.)

My STBXW came over and absolutely LAID in to me, about how shitty that was and that we are still legally married and she had never planned on either of us dating again and this and that. Just letting me have it. It was anywhere from "I dont care who you get your dick wet with but we are STILL married, how dare you plaster this on social media?" and "Why is that little bitch messaging me on facebook? Does she know that you are still married???" Just laying into me, and how it's my fault and she never saw a future of where we would see other people.

Well, she came over today and (after over 16 months of separation, mind you) has decided she wants to fix things and can't take no for an answer. Now, all of a sudden, after me begging and pleading to come home and fix our family, at the slightest hint of me moving on, is she willing to stop drinking and surrounding herself with her shitty group of friends. Now, all of a sudden, the family unit is worth fixing because things weren't better when she left. Because I've always been her person, now she's ready? Now after seeing a few comments on social media of another female flirting with me? Am I just supposed to pretend the last 16 months never happened? Her family HATES me now. I'm scum on earth, she told my family and others that I beat her. That I was awful. Hell she was at the bar with a guy two weeks ago, that's not an assumption, that's my cousin just casually letting me know she ran into her.

If I'm honest, it tears me up quite a bit because I hate to see her hurting and never wanted any of this. But to say I tried is an understatement. I have been in therapy consistently, exercising, working on myself, coming home every day for over 500 days alone to a shell of the home that once was. This would be different if she had been willing to put in the work, but I don't trust any of her words now.

Fuck, it doesn't feel fair.