I'll try to keep things short, but it'll likely be more long winded that I want. For context, 29M, two kids, separated 16 months, have been married 6 years, together a total of 11, and have known each other 15. The divorce is pending agreement on financials, and then we will sign the paperwork.

In a nutshell, my wife and I separated in Sept of '23, she felt we weren't happy and made the decision to leave. I did all the things I feel like I shouldn't have. I begged, I pined, I tried. And I mean I tried. Over. And Over. And Over. And Over. This wasn't reciprocated, and I slowly started working on myself. I'm not where I want to be, but I've dropped 30 pounds, been in therapy consistently for over a year. I've always had a small friend group, I'm not quite comfortable alone but I am trying to be. There were a lot of issues on her side with alcohol, weed, some shitty friends, and just general being a cruddy person. (This is not a post to attack her character, but I want to make clear my STBXW left and showed no interest on coming back) Until recently. I stepped into the dating pool, and I hate it, but in a nutshell, my STBXW has conveniently decided she wants to fix things, within a mere two days of thinking I'm dating someone else. I'm not dating, I'd have liked too, but when I explained to the other person what was going on, she got cold feet and that's understandable. This divorce has been toxic in every single way.

What I'm struggling with, is that I have already processed and grieved the divorce. It's over, and I don't have an interest in pursuing my STBXW again romantically. I do hope we can one day become friends again, and cordial at the very least, but that is as far as it goes. However, she doesn't seem to be accepting of that. I think she will push for more, and I don't have it in me to pursue anybody romantically. I don't trust the women she became, I don't find any comfort in her anymore. I'm OK with the outcome of divorce, and I'll be okay alone.

Have any of you gone through similar of the partner that left suddenly wanting to come back and resolve things? Were they able to make the changes they promised to make? Or did they fall back in to old patterns with weeks?

I feel like even 6 months ago, I'd have been all in on trying to fix our marriage, like most of us were initially. But she's not a person I would pursue today, and I need to figure out how to be clear that I only want us to pursue being cordial and eventually some sort of friends for the childrens sake. But nothing more.