Can a Fat guy seduce girls or get girls?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-03-27T05:57:24+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

tyYdraniu · 2025-03-26T23:45:35+00:00

Bro... i guess you cam but its too hard, im talking on my experience, i never managed to get thin but once i lost a lot of weight, and apparently was enough so i could be seen as thin, and damn world changed a lot

ze_lux · 2025-03-26T23:36:05+00:00

"I am fat, lazy and have a shit personality" brother get off reddit and learn how to enjoy life. Forget girls for a while just do what you love.

Either learn to feel comfortable as a bigger guy, eat all the food you want and rock the sexy dad bod, or hit the gym and lose some weight and feel like a million bucks.

Choose one of these paths. Do not do either one half heatedly.

NukeMeIntoOrbit · 2025-03-26T23:33:45+00:00

Not the kind of girls you would wanna be with

srwat · 2025-03-26T23:59:19+00:00

The better you look, the more "mistakes" you can make in an interaction. If you look like garbage, your opener to an interaction might have to be completely god-like to even get a chance to play the "chess match of lust", while if you are an Adonis, you may be able to just say "hey" and get comparable results.

In regards to personality, look to keep some kind of journal of yourself of certain actions you did, then put yourself to the best of your ability in the shoes of the person you did them to, guy/girl. This gives a greater sense of self-awareness and potential correctional self-analysis.

TLDR - If real life was a videogame, The more in-shape you are, the more hearts you have in your "Zelda health bar". Being morbidly obese is like going out there with 1 heart which most times means one mistake on something such as a first impression opener, game over from that mistake.

ImperialMajestyX02 · 2025-03-26T23:39:59+00:00

You’ve got to keep in mind that those most of those fat guys that you see with baddies are either very lucky, rich, or they started dating them when they were slimmer. Or they’re very tall.

Regardless being fat simply makes it harder to get the girls you want. Women are not like men so if you meet a minimum baseline of looks, height, and are not morbidly fat you can prob eventually find a good looking girl if you have a good personality. But your pool of potential girls would be 5x larger if you were average weight or below.

TreyDoesGains · 2025-03-27T00:03:27+00:00

Can you seduce girls when you are ugly, fat, lazy, and have a repulsive personality? Why would a woman want to get with someone who has all of those negative traits?

Would you get with a female who is fat, ugly, lazy, and has a repulsive personality?

You need to go through a phase of self-improvement. Invest in yourself and pay people who know how to fix your problems to help guide you to achieve your goals.

SadKnight123 · 2025-03-26T23:45:52+00:00

Everything is possible, but you would be making things harder for yourself while also being unhealthy.

SylAbys · 2025-03-26T23:35:51+00:00

I'm a big dude.... sometimes, i amaze myself with the type of women I attract. Some of em told me later on that they were not initially attracted to me. But once they got to know me, plus I really never pursued them, they became hooked

BrehBreh92 · 2025-03-26T23:56:15+00:00

Yes. One of my bros is in a wheel chair and a bit overweight. He’s probably slept with way more women than me and Im fit and able to run for miles. Just watched him pull a broad a couple weeks ago while at a surprise birthday party at a bar. Now… I’m picky with the women I get with and they’re usually more on the fit side. He has more options because he’s not as picky as me.

Edit: He’s the exact opposite of you though. He’s confident, an enthralling story teller, somewhat of a comedian, and is one of the most liked people in my friend group. He also dresses nicely when he goes out. And he has a cologne collection where he can wear a different scent for 6 months straight.

Skydiver860 · 2025-03-26T23:58:42+00:00

Yes. I’m fat. I weigh almost 300 lbs. I’ve picked up women that were very attractive. I’m not gonna act like I always pick these kinda of women up with ease but it’s absolutely possible.

The reality is that you have to stop giving a shit whether you succeed with women or not. You’ve basically admitted you have a shit personality so you gotta fix that first. Second, stop giving a shit about whether you’re successful with women. The less you give a shit the more women will be in to you. Women don’t want needy men. Third, if you don’t already, learn to dress well for your size. The right outfit for you will not only make worlds of difference in the way you look but can even make you look slimmer than you are. Plus when you look good, you feel good. When you feel good you’re confident and women love confidence. Take care of yourself first in these ways and the women will come.

niktrop0000 · 2025-03-27T00:05:42+00:00

Women don’t realky care about your appearance, if you know women you know this. It’s 90% about your confidence and your energy. Don’t get me wrong, they love abs or tall guys… and yet would fuck any short or fat dude if he’s cool.

CharmingRejector · 2025-03-27T00:36:31+00:00

You identify with being fat and lazy. I used to be like you. I told myself, now it's time to eat cake and enjoy it. Here's what happened. Seven years of being single. I didn't even try to meet women.

Who am I now. Heh, well I'm still single, but at least I'm meeting - and banging - a ton of chicks.

Why? Well, I actually also got fairly hot chicks as overweight. But I had to work very hard for it, which is exhausting. And it got me depressed. So I hit the gym. Hard.

It took some coaxing to get in there tho. A good friend told me: 99% of your progress is just meeting up, so make sure you meet up. The rest is easy. You're already there so you might as well do some reps. And that's how I kept it. I kept it easy. My schedule is always underperformance, so I get happy when I do more than I planned. It's just a trick to keep me motivated.

Also I diet. And I do intermittent fasting. And now a year later the results show. The first sign came already after three months in the gym. And then I started dieting and fasting as well, and the change got even more rapid. And now I'm wearing slim fit and getting ready for rip off that t and show my abs on the beach.

What do you think has happened in the last few weeks? Random chicks try to kiss me. I dance a lot, and several girls have kissed me on the cheek, or just grabbed me in the hall and given me kisses. That sure didn't happen before I got ripped. Women will "hover" nearby me, or look at me from across the room, and then go over to me. It's ofc not just the gym that has done this. I've learned how to flirt and be extroverted too, which helps, but I'm just saying.

Being ripped sure makes it easier.

Janemba_Corvalis · 2025-03-27T01:02:18+00:00

Brother, you are not permanently fat.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-03-27T01:19:02+00:00

I remember our Offensive tackle from highschool football.

He was north of 300, easily the fattest dude in the school...he was also an All State Tackle. He never once acted like he held his weight against himself, I shit you not he was the biggest ladies' man, every hot girl surrounded him to banter with him, he had his choice of women.

It didn't compute in my mind at the time because I was in the best shape of my life and one of the top athletes yet I couldn't get a girlfriend or get laid to save my life, and this lardass gets more ass than a toilet seat.

It took until my 30s to learn why. He never acted like he was more interested in any one girl than she was in him, and it showed through his behaviors and nuisances. He didn't shift his emotions in the face of beauty. He didn't raise his pitch of tone or hasten his cadence or make sudden fidgety movements.

His subject matter while talking was the other thing. You wouldn't catch him trying to have logical conversation or get to know too much about a girl, he'd banter like Craig Ferguson where he deflects to stupid stuff about the situation or surroundings and injects innuendo and baits the girl into acting like a perv so he can accuse her of doing so.

So yeah, fat guys can seduce women. In the eyes of women, attractive behaviors are the priority.

razama · 2025-03-27T02:02:14+00:00

Yes, you can. Just like guys, some women are gonna have weight be a dealbreaker for them. But as a fat guy who has worried about my weight was never a problem, except for when someone saw in the long-term that it was toxic behavior on my part.

Being thinner today, things are MUCH easier, but I’ll say my most active years and most successful years I was at my heaviest. Bless em, but women will hook up with a big dude for reasons I cannot comprehend

AddLightness1 · 2025-03-27T02:04:26+00:00

If you are the king of the world, top of the heap, and you're going places, a girl might want to join. If you're fun and non-judgmental, they may want to have fun with you. It just takes finding the right girl.

T1MBOBEATS · 2025-03-27T02:05:29+00:00

What about jelly roll?

pissshitfuckcuntcock · 2025-03-27T02:06:21+00:00

Fat, lazy with an off-putting personality. Not exactly a recipe for success. You at least know what the issues are, so you can fix them.

WaitingForTheFire · 2025-03-27T02:16:59+00:00

If a guy is tall, wealthy and charismatic, I would imagine that being fat would only slightly hinder his chances at dating.

Whoa! I thought I read the entire post, but there was more. Most hated? Why? Are you an easy target for bullying, or do you knowingly do things that trigger people? Do you flaunt your success in a way that makes other people jealous? There is a lot to unpack here. It seems that either you have really judgmental friends or you are treating other people poorly. I suggest you don’t jump to conclusions. Try asking people that you trust why other people might react negatively to you. Personally, if I was the “most hated” person in a group, I would make it a priority to fix that before trying to seduce anyone.

Laziness can be very problematic, but it’s not automatically a character flaw. Depression and other mental or physical health issues can manifest as inactivity. If you are not already doing so, make sure that you are getting adequate nutrition (you need vitamins and minerals from fresh fruits and veggies - living on ramen noodles isn’t going to do you any good). Make sure you are taking care of your overall health, not just worrying about your weight. If your body and mind aren’t healthy, it affects the way you carry yourself and interact with other people.

Yog-Nigurath · 2025-03-27T02:31:18+00:00

In reality, it is possible to get dates and a girlfriend while being overweight. Think of it as a variable in a multivariable equation. But other variables are added to that equation: charisma, budget, hygiene, being funny, confidence, responsibility, virility, interpersonal intelligence, affectivity, and so on. Some variables will be more important to some girls than others. In this case, I have known overweight men with many dates and beautiful girlfriends. I have also known attractive and thin men that women don't want.

It's important that you take care of yourself. You need to lose weight, not because women focus on that exclusively, but because that variable influences the others. When you exercise, your posture improves, and when that happens, you appear more confident, which makes you look for better clothes and feel better. Feeling better makes more people want to approach you, and that increases your social relationships. Everything is connected.

Now, the fact that your social group hates you says a lot about how you relate to people. I recommend that you do some introspection about your way of approaching your peers. Look for self-help books on this topic, they are quite useful

shmackadoodoo · 2025-03-27T02:33:40+00:00

how fat we talking

kev1nshmev1n · 2025-03-27T02:43:59+00:00

Yes.

GlitteringAgent4061 · 2025-03-27T02:51:57+00:00

Uh yes you can

gaifogel · 2025-03-27T03:05:20+00:00

Extroverted but people don't like you? Do you have poor social skills? Do you make inappropriate jokes? Do you ask questions and listen to people? Are you mature? Can you read the room and how the person you are talking with is feeling? What kind of things do you talk about?

m4gnum1 · 2025-03-27T03:17:43+00:00

I have an overweight Freind with a beautiful girlfriend. Anything is possible. Takes some work, have to be funny and kind but it’s doable.

iMotorboathoz · 2025-03-27T03:23:16+00:00

Coming from a fellow fat man…. It’s not all about how you look, it’s about your confidence. Go in that mother fucker knowing you’re gonna land that girl. Saying no isn’t an option. I mean if she says no of course respect that, and it’s a shame I even have to say that, but anyway…. Have confidence. But there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Girls love confidence but absolutely despise cockiness. Also, learn to make em laugh. If you get those 2 things down you got this shit. Don’t get me wrong there are gonna be trial and errors, but you’ll have a lot more success. Hope this helps. Edit: Also, my girl is a solid 9, and I’ve been with many super fine females. So I definitely speak from a place of experiences

Additional-Soil-3661 · 2025-03-27T03:26:24+00:00

what you need to realize is theres everybody for everybody. literally. kinks are mental. theres kinks about every single type of human being on this earth. i've even come across ugly men kinks. meaning the girls get horny when they see a ugly man which they find unattractive... which is fucking insane but shows that, yes you can glow yourself up. but if you play a numbers game with women. there truly is someone for everyone

frankFerg1616 · 2025-03-27T03:32:23+00:00

You must watch the movie "Tao of Steve". It's based on a real person, a guy named Duncan North. The guy was fat and was a kindergarten teacher, but that didn't stop him from seducing tons of women. If he can do it, so can you.

Prashant3334 · 2025-03-27T03:34:40+00:00

If you believe, you can

OMGLookItsGavoYT · 2025-03-27T03:53:08+00:00

Ayy I was fat as shit too.

I'll cut a long story short

Got lean as shit (was extremely attractive) started steroids, got massive as fuck (looked like ass) massive regrets (stayed on the steroids) lost a bunch of fucking weight to the point where if it wasn't for them I'd be anorexic, now I'm lean and attractive as shit again

Basically, if you want attractive girls you gotta be attractive (or have a fucking mega mad personality, but quite frankly I believe the ego hit from being fat makes it hard as shit to go this route)

Idk why I said all of the first part, just want y'all to know my story 🤣

Marighnamani27 · 2025-03-27T04:05:46+00:00

You're fat and have a shitty personality. Your group hates you and no matter how hard you try, you are unable to change their minds.

You got a lot of work ahead of you brother. Forget girls for sometime. You got a lot of, both inner and outer work to do. Think about it, if your own friends don't like you, how can you expect a random girl to ? Plus you're lazy by your own admission.

Get your ass off that couch or bed and hit the gym hard. You're already doing that but increase the intensity and get your diet in order. Get rid of your laziness and be active throughout the day. I would also suggest, talk to a therapist to see where it is you're lacking in social skills where people start to hate you and how to overcome it.

Do not have this mindset "can fat people get laid". No. Get rid of the fat, not only to look more attractive but also for your own better health. Being fat will open doors for other health issues like diabetes, risk of a heart attack, high blood pressure etc etc.

So, start working on yourself now.

sefan78 · 2025-03-27T04:41:17+00:00

I mean I have a fat homie that’s been with multiple attractive women. He ain’t rich or anything. Just a fun personality and had confidence. It definitely limits your chances but you can get some women.

chinchinlover-419 · 2025-03-27T04:59:21+00:00

Theoretically, if you know what to say and have the perfect personality and humor then you can pretty much pull anyone from bar hoes to Megan Fox. But that's not really possible. You call yourself fat and lazy, that's why girls want nothing to do with you. Do something about it.

LoudCalligrapher0 · 2025-03-26T23:47:24+00:00

I knew a guy who was obese but somehow he kept getting the pretty women ( he was 18-21 in the years I knew him and the women were of his age)

ChicoBrillo · 2025-03-27T00:16:21+00:00

Without footage of you or seeing how you interact with people it's impossible to say what you're doing wrong just based off your post. Despite what people in this sub will say, you can def have success in dating while fat, I know because I have.

You say you're extroverted, maybe you have too much energy? Maybe you're a little overwhelming to new people who aren't as extroverted as you? All I can really do is guess tbh

TheDarkHelmet1985 · 2025-03-27T00:33:05+00:00

Your shot begins with 100% confidence. Anything less won’t work. Have realistic expectations and you’ll be golden.

BigKushi · 2025-03-27T00:42:19+00:00

I mean, you heard about Patrice O'neal?

GamerScholar · 2025-03-27T01:27:17+00:00

totally doable, but you have to keep some things in mind. you need to work on your personality. and my advice would be for you to do it for yourself, not for others or girls. the girls will come naturally. since you’re extroverted, you possibly need to learn to be by yourself. my advice would be for you to have some alone time. not consuming content, not on social media. learn no be happy by yourself. solitude. maybe start a hobby. at the same time, exercise. include two or three days on your week to do approaches for some time (20-30 mins, more or less depending on your availability). but most importantly reserve some time every day to be alone. work on yourself for your own benefit. don’t expect anything from others. evaluate what’s holding you back the most, work on it, rinse, repeat. the rest will come naturally.

eablokker · 2025-03-26T23:57:07+00:00

An ugly guy can get girls by compensating with good social skills.

A guy with bad social skills can get girls by compensating by being good looking.

You have both going against you. The good news is that both of these are changeable. You are not fat forever. You don't have a bad personality forever. All it takes is learning new skills and new habits and practicing them.

If you want to stay fat, then you have got to make radical improvements to your social skills. It is totally doable, but probably easier just to lose some weight.

I'd say it's likely that the reason for you being fat and having a bad personality are the same reasons -- either lack of self-love, poor self-image, habitual negative emotions, or some other internal psychological reasons that keep your behavior in this pattern. If you're having difficulty changing your weight and your social skills, then some therapy like CBT would probably be the best place to begin.

If you're looking to get girls so that you can feel better about yourself, it doesn't work. Turn back now. Feel better about yourself first.

Ashamed_Bobcat_7237 · 2025-03-27T00:06:58+00:00

A fat guy can, just not you. Between you not being the typical guy that the "babes" you chase look for, or you just being a really unlikable person, it's one of those two.

If it's your fault, I can't really tell you how to fix it, there's really no fix for being lazy, it's mostly a personality trait, I know from experience with lazy people.

Just the simple fact that you're here writing this kind of posts already sets you back, because deep down you know what you have to do, but it's not easy, so you rather come online search for a workaround...

Majestic_Bet6187 · 2025-03-27T00:52:36+00:00

I knew a homeless guy that had women fighting over him and giving him a place to stay. He lived like a king. Saw a few fat dudes that did well, too. BUT it’s more difficult in general..

postbody · 2025-03-27T00:59:03+00:00

You can get away with being fat if you’re tall bc chicks dig big men who can smother them or whatever. Less so if you’re short. Either way, lose the weight, fatty

PhotographItchy9389 · 2025-03-27T01:04:29+00:00

yeah, it d be way hard but ud maybe get way to fat , egoistic dumbass girls

escape12345 · 2025-03-27T01:08:39+00:00

I don't know how fat you are talking about.

But I am 90kg 30bmi and wear oversized clothing. I have still been able to meet women

ko2991 · 2025-03-27T01:24:45+00:00

That’s it right there! Don’t try to be the most likable or even a likable guy you’ll just come off as annoying and push ppl away, just be yourself tbh and don’t force it. But don’t be an asshole at the same time, find a balance in between

Ketchup571 · 2025-03-27T01:31:46+00:00

KumaFGC · 2025-03-27T01:41:15+00:00

Get them drunk. You might get SA charges but fuck it, we ball.

mentaldetoxx · 2025-03-27T01:52:30+00:00

Girls be damned, you shouldn't be fat at all. As a man, you should strive to be as physically strong and fit as possible, or at the very least, don't be weak and unhealthy. Put in the work to get in shape and you'll see your life, and your luck with women improve in ways you couldn't even possibly imagine.

"I am lazy too" that's your issue right there, your identity is rooted in one of a "lazy" person, and thus you're going to adopt a lazy person's tendencies. Start to try and shift your identity to one of an attractive man. An attractive man is hard working and disciplined, an attractive man is charming and confident, and last but not least, an attractive man has enough respect for himself to take good care of his body.

Lexaous5 · 2025-03-27T01:55:06+00:00

Just about confidence. If you are confident and funny, you can charm just about anyone

Natural-Wrongdoer-85 · 2025-03-27T00:42:10+00:00

Of course. Fat people are known to have great appetite for food. More food means more money!

Title	Can a Fat guy seduce girls or get girls?
Author	TH3RDL
Upvotes	20
Comments	73
Date	March 26, 2025 11:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jkq04a/can_a_fat_guy_seduce_girls_or_get_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-a-fat-guy-seduce-girls-or-get-girls.1547747 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547747

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