Met a girl - in love - she says she will sign a prenup

Away_Anybody7268 · 2025-10-09T14:45:36+00:00

Okay, get married but do the homework this time, take the long way. Read books if you have to like “This is how your marriage ends” or “Hold me tight”, etc. I would even go as far as Premarital counseling. I would also tell her straight up that you want to be together for at least two years before getting married. You could probably propose if you wanted to but again wait, make sure the honeymoon period is over, and that new relationship feeling is gone. Accept this is going to be a lot of work if you want to make it. Hope it won't, but know it could end in disaster. Have good communication, don't let resentment and contempt build up.. The small things matter a lot. Make sure to get the prenup, take it to two layers if you have to. Enjoy your life!

redditrock56 · 2025-10-08T03:32:29+00:00

She's on her best behavior now.

Many years ago, I was told the following:

"You will never see her true face until you see her in divorce court".

Sorry_Celery_6807 · 2025-10-07T18:16:21+00:00

NO !

Il_Valentino · 2025-10-07T17:13:52+00:00

Do NOT get married, it's a legal contract that has no benefit but plenty of risks for you. Prenups are not bulletproof.

Under current divorce laws marriage has nothing to do with relationship bonding, the only thing it connects are your wallets.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-10-07T13:19:54+00:00

I would consider remarrying.

I would talk to a lawyer to discuss the ins and outs of a prenup.

I would also consider how long i have known this girl. And things like if she has debt or kids or other bad habits/red flags. If it is new, give it time. 2 years at least.

ng_rddt · 2025-10-07T11:21:57+00:00

Most people are saying not to get married. But the reality is that most high quality women are looking for marriage. It makes sense for a woman to seek marriage: there is more stability than in a fwb or situationship and marriage confers social prestige. That’s why some (not all, of course) women want a big ring—it shows the world (especially their friends) that they’ve made it.

Sure you can go around telling your dates you will never get married—and then the high quality women will end the relationship and you will be left with the rest—those who are desperate and will settle for a man who wants fwb or a situationship.

And what’s funny is that this becomes a self fulfilling prophecy—you are left dating unstable people and—surprise—you get even more disillusioned with dating and marriage.

Look, think of it as an applying for a job. What kind of applicants are you going to get if you only offer a low paying part time job as compared to full time? And then you get disillusioned and complain there are no good people out there…without ever looking in the mirror and saying, “well, truth be told, I am offering them a shitty job. Maybe that’s why I’m getting all the unqualified people and they all fail the drug testing…”

The worst relationships I was in were with uncommitted women who “didn’t know what they wanted” and were open to a non-long term relationship or not interested in marriage . They treated me like shit.

And here’s the thing/ those shitty relationships were more stress in the long run than a committed one with a high quality partner who understandably wanted marriage.

By the way, a high quality partner will WANT a prenup because they are financially ok and like you, don’t want to get fleeced in another divorce. Emphasize how it protects both of you. Prenups may also lower the rate of divorce because it is a sign of a mature couple that can communicate.

fishingforthought · 2025-10-07T11:01:11+00:00

My comment was a reply to code establishment 172 who posted “ why marriage has to be on the table”. I did not give any advice only an agreement of “WHY”. As far as your other question, knowing what I know now and what it took from me, “yes I am saying I would never get married”.

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2025-10-07T07:11:22+00:00

Don’t get married Dude. Don’t. Just have a great relationship. Don’t again. My X wife and I have been together again for the last two years and we have decided to not get married again but live life and take care of our kids. It’s certainly working better than before. But if things don’t work out we will just say goodbye. Common law practice isn’t recognized here.

Annual-Cobbler9245 · 2025-10-07T03:09:38+00:00

Dude.

WHY get married?

No, really, have you truly thought about it?

What problem does getting married solve for you? Answer that first in an honest manner.

How would marriage serve YOU in a substantive way (that being in a non-state-invited committed relationship wouldn’t)?

Even with a prenup, you’re inviting a shit ton of complications, unnecessary risk, and boxing your future self in.

In my opinion, marriage in 2025 is a scam and a joke sold to gullible men.

Spiritual-Street2793 · 2025-10-07T02:57:47+00:00

Don't get married. What issue do you have that marriage solves? Women are quick to get married, and quick to file for divorce. If you want to get married and not get divorced, marry a gay man. I don't see the purpose to marriage, especially if you've already had kids with the previous woman.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2025-10-07T02:57:33+00:00

Pre-nups can still be voided or highly challenged. Better make sure that mf is beefed up and written to utter perfection. You both need separate attorneys as well. She will get attorney that will say add this, this and this.

Butttt a pre-nup is better than no pre-nup. Maybe convince her to just dating without interference from the government?

Proof-Inevitable5946 · 2025-10-07T02:40:32+00:00

Just don’t get married. Problem solved. In all seriousness experience is the only thing that will guide you. I once made a mistake and will never do it again. Once you have the government meddling in your breakup you wake up to the joke that is marriage.

jules13131382 · 2025-10-07T01:58:56+00:00

Sounds good

NilesGuy · 2025-10-06T23:27:39+00:00

Why not just live together and get a cohabitation agreement ? It’s safer and you get piece of mind

HotCut100 · 2025-10-06T19:13:46+00:00

Listen to the sage advice you’ve already received in this thread. I will add on that you don’t need to be married to have a relationship and succeed. I would assume you’ve learned that lesson. So let me move on to consult a lawyer. Pay them a consult fee, which may feel pricey, but will be money well spent.

Get your list of questions together on the front end and send ahead of time so they can provide you with the answers instead of telling you they need to research something. You need to get the common law and domestic partnership questions about your state and its implications answered first. Then you need to find out, whether you’re getting married or not, what holds up in your state and particular jurisdiction when it comes to prenuptial or pre-domestic agreements.

I agree with the comment that says leave the state out of your relationship. I would advise you to approach this part of the relationship as a traditional contract. Talk about what you are willing to support and especially what you are unwilling to support. If you are together for 15 years and it doesn’t work out, what’s going to be fair for the both of you? If she has in writing that you both are agreeing to no kids and two working partners, it gets pretty easy. If you do plan to have kids and she wants to stay at home, line out what that looks like in the contract. If she stays at home for X amount of time you provide Y amount of support. You can probably put an equation of amount of time together versus how much partner support would continue for how long if she ends up being a SAHP. It’s not tying your hands, it’s just coming to an agreement with mutual understanding and transparency.

Maybe the lawyer in your jurisdiction will shoot it down, but I know this exists elsewhere and it removes the back-and-forth over someone claiming to have promised something to the other, but there’s nothing documented except circumstantial evidence that could be viewed both ways.

Bumblebee56990 · 2025-10-06T19:13:14+00:00

Get an attorney to draft up something to cover your ass and don’t cheat, also make sure it covers if she cheats too. I’d honestly have a clause about cheating and how no one gets nothing.

Just CYA

ColdEstablishment172 · 2025-10-06T18:29:48+00:00

I don't understand why marriage has to be on the table? Is she not okay with being with you without marriage?

Several-Eagle4141 · 2025-10-06T18:07:32+00:00

Are you happy with her?

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-10-06T18:07:28+00:00

You can't write in infidelity in a prenup, it will get thrown out by the judge. Let me rephrase that, it will be MORE likely to be thrown out by the judge.

Don't involve the state if you want to get married again. Just have some ceremony and don't involve the state.

Make sure you don't live in a common law marriage state either, or just moving in with them will fuck you.

Title	Met a girl - in love - she says she will sign a prenup
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	34
Comments	40
Date	October 6, 2025 6:02 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nzqeww/met_a_girl_in_love_she_says_she_will_sign_a_prenup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/met-a-girl-in-love-she-says-she-will-sign-a-prenup.1563555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563555

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