My wife and I have been married for 15 years. We have two beautiful daughters, 10 and 6. She’s been saying she wants a divorce for six months now. She keeps telling me she’s done, that she hates me, that everything wrong in her life is my fault. (BackGround she is a SAHW and I am in sales, recently switch careers to work less and be with kids more)

I’ve spent the last few months doing everything I can to work on myself, to change, to understand her pain. But no matter what I do, it’s never enough.

I know it’s over. I can feel it. But I can’t let go. I’m attached to her, to our kids, to the life we built. The thought of not seeing my girls every day makes me feel sick. I start shaking. My chest tightens. I feel like I can’t breathe.

I keep trying to convince myself I can handle it, that I’ll be okay, but every time I think about our family falling apart, I just break.

She’s still here but emotionally she’s gone. She’s filled with hate and contempt. We go in circles. She says she’s done, I try to talk about what’s next, and it just ends with her blaming me, yelling, name calling, and telling me to get out.

If I loved her, she says I would just leave and let her have full custody. I told her I can leave but I want 50/50. Then I tell her that since she’s not working, let’s get her on her feet first and then split up. She tells me I fail at everything I do. She tell me things like you never care before so why do care now to see the kids. I told her I worked 60 hour weeks for us. The family. I told her truth be told. I’ll go lay down a 40hour week stay at home job with half the pay to see my kids more if we aren’t together

I feel like she’s not living in reality. We’re not rich by any means and I just don’t get how she’s not thinking about how we’re actually going to separate our lives and not just our emotions.

I know I need to let go. I just don’t know how to stop loving her.

TLDR: My wife says she wants a divorce and I know it’s over but I can’t let go. I’m trying to accept losing her and not seeing my kids every day, but the thought of it breaks me completely.