This BS about how she grieved the marriage for a long time…

Adorable-Ad3522 · 2026-01-13T06:59:22+00:00

I think a lot of women are just into the idea of marriage and the person she calls husband is just an object that has to play the role. So they are only grieving the loss of marriage but not the person. Idk man I think we man are brainwashed and need to face reality of romantic love with women. Really sad :(

Reflog1791 · 2025-12-30T00:55:10+00:00

The answer to the question, “how could she do this to me?” is simple. She did it because she wanted to. She lied about it to avoid consequences.

Once you accept this simple explanation you can focus your mind on improving your life.

In time you may view this as a good thing because it will force you to redesign your life. That redesigned life will be much better without nasty ex wife ruining everything.

Mercury8619 · 2025-12-28T21:50:21+00:00

You're going through what I went through. I'm twice divorced and near into my 40's. I did everything I could in those relationships. Spent thousands of dollars & emotional investment on the marriages through the yrs. Showed them I cared. Took care of them when they were sick and paid for everything. None of it mattered. They left anyway and acted as though I did nothing.

funnyman6979 · 2025-12-28T19:44:57+00:00

I could support this post and write almost 30 years of walking this path. I don’t think sound objective therapy exists and grew tired of rewind and play. True, I took some of my baggage into my second marriage but we come out the other side with eyes wide open. I think most can admit tripping up here or there but I didn’t deserve the multiple affairs and a child not mine. And all these support groups men that end up driven into corners again, Reddit didn’t exist in the late 90’s nothing to assist in many facets of divorce. And we don’t have time for me to go into my adult children which just for the most part remain conduits, it just isn’t healthy.

tonyway7293 · 2025-12-28T18:42:06+00:00

Yup, I made a post here in this sub reddit very similar to yours a few days ago. It is a COWARDLY act because they are secretly planning to abandon the marriage without you even knowing.

Such as my cheating STBXW.... She claimed to have been unhappy for a year. 365 days. Each night you slept next to me. When we would walk our dogs together. When we would have date nights. When we would have sex. When we planned a vacation that was dated after the D-word dropped (obviously it was then cancelled). You mean to tell me you couldn't use your big girl words and COMMUNICATE clearly that things are "on fire"? No, they expect you to be the mind-reader. And of course, this "unhappiness" only came to surface when I caught onto her shady cheating behavior and confronted her on it. That's when the communication starts. Coward.

These aren't signs of unhappiness and "grieving the marriage", they are signs of a coward.

And usually, like in my case, it involves infidelity.

It's an unwinnable game this thing they call marriage.... well, unless you are a woman of course.

Pullout66 · 2025-12-28T09:56:10+00:00

That is a nice way to call a liar a liar.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-12-28T07:47:11+00:00

But it’s true. That’s why the person who grieved first can be so cold to the person who it’s sprung on. Why trying to get her back doesn’t work. It’s totally unfair but it’s a helpful framework to analyze things. She got to grieve at her own pace and in her own time while we are expected to instantly grieve and let go. Not sure what’s wrong with this analysis. What did the coach say?

Upstairs_Voice_5637 · 2025-12-28T06:11:02+00:00

That’s always the same bs line. My ex told me “I didn’t feel heard”. I listened to her vent daily, said thank you for every meal and favor, offered therapy countless times for all her childhood traumas and stood by her even when she was completely in the wrong and antagonized her siblings - none of it mattered. It’s the story they need to tell themselves so they don’t feel like a selfish bitch when they destroy their family because they’re bored.

Toxic femininity.

Car_fixing_guy · 2025-12-28T05:31:45+00:00

Number one thing I recommend is to stay away from any female offering divorce advice to men. Women and men’s minds work completely different.

Check out G-man Speaks on YouTube. You’ll thank me later.

Cufflock · 2025-12-28T05:08:48+00:00

That coach is literally helping women to continue to victimize themselves in order to avoid accountability.

Women indeed oftentimes grieved their marriages ahead of their husbands yet they only grieved their own marriages not the marriages of both them and their husbands.

They grieve that their own marriage did not turn out as satisfying as they had expected while they start to feel and believe they deserve better, the grieving process is actually the process of growing the feeling and belief of “I deserve better” to the point that they feel that they can successfully secure their next mates who fulfill whatever arousal sensation they are not getting from their husbands.

Everyone_Is_Sad · 2025-12-28T04:40:17+00:00

Women in sewing circles flatter themselves with self-sacrificial narratives. Noticing it is misogyny.

Then-Stage · 2025-12-28T04:10:32+00:00

It sounds like the YT lady is just using the platform to rant on her own personal situation. I recommend sticking to help content from exes of cheaters.

2025-12-28T04:05:24+00:00

I think I know which video you are talking about. Ignore that nonsense. That "coach" is just looking out for the interests of other women, regardless of their character.

SireSweet · 2025-12-28T03:43:06+00:00

Healing advice? Fuck her.

When I filed it was the first night I slept good in a long time.

Focus on getting yourself squared away. Work out, get that pay raise, get a better job, get a better woman.

You no longer need to put up with guilt tripping whenever you wanted to do something or a hobby. No more fighting about bills and time. No more bullshit at home. No more trying earning sex like a checklist at work.

You can go home and actually recharge. Just so much more peace. The world opens up to you again like an easy woman at a bar. All the possibilities! If you can dream it, there’s a hole.

That said… It’s going to hurt. Your chest will tighten and it’ll suck. If you loved her for her and you cared, it’s going to. The only thing that helped me out was working out, I tried drinking and weed but that just delayed the pain. Working out and finding hobbies and stuff to do helped. The drugs didn’t.

ivehn · 2025-12-28T03:14:51+00:00

Same man. I did self improvement, suppressed my emotions, put her first in everything. She walked away saying she need space so went to her friends place then txt me she grieving the marriage and that I never cared for her or loved her. And that she sees im trying to be better but its not enough. And took something I said out of context text twisted it and put the end of the marriage on me.

It seems like women get to come up with a bunch of excuses to not take accountability. Like only them stuggle mentally or have feelings. Felt like I was the only one putting effort. Things was only good when I MADE them good. Then the bs about weaponizing sex... I'm just done with it man. Then women wonder why men dont take them seriously.

My exwife literally hurt me everyway she said she would never. But yet I'm the bad guy.

Forward-Transition-5 · 2025-12-28T03:09:22+00:00

Man, all I can say is just ignore all this bullshit. You’re going to go through ups and downs while you work through everything. One day something won’t bother you and the next it will eat you alive. It takes time to process everything and it’s not easy but it does become easier over time. She’s simply being selfish and many of these so called therapists just continue to enable that behavior. They’ll make up all kinds of excuses so they don’t have to take accountability for being a horrible human being. There’s no reason to waste any extra time trying to convince them or others of it either. Just focus on yourself and getting your mental state back together. It might take years even and I know no one likes to hear that but it is what it is. We all go through it at our own pace and there’s no way to know when it’s complete until it is but even then something might happen and bring those feelings back out. It’s a lifelong struggle for some but it gets easier with time and effort.

FatherOfBean · 2025-12-28T03:06:32+00:00

You have a lot of emotions and you will realize that is the truth. Whether if the marriage was grieved for a duration or not, by the time she decided to leave she had already contemplated the outcomes and decided it was worth it. You will eventually go back to these messages that are trying to tell you something and will absorb them differently. Be gentle on yourself during this journey and bask in it.

dpi2024 · 2025-12-28T03:03:46+00:00

I wish there were some male 'divorce coaches' or psychotherapists who would publicly call it for what it is. There are none to find though with the exception of maybe Orion Taraban, who was never married/divorced and who is mild and soft, too mild and too soft. Idk what is the reason for this because there clearly is a market.

BigBubbaMac · 2025-12-28T03:03:09+00:00

I silently grieved for about 6 months while I tried everything to make it work

Her on the other hand probably only grieves because she lost her meal ticket and got her kids taken away.(I have 95% custody.)

Delicious-Curious · 2025-12-28T02:43:52+00:00

I’m sorry man. I hear you. In therapy with my wife who wants a divorce and both the therapist and my wife are saying I just need time to catch up to where my wife has been for 11 months. Then speak the fuck up, dear wife, and say something, let’s agree to work on things. But nooooo now it’s too late she says. What utter shit. I will keep telling her she’s blowing up our family even though she hates me saying it.

MaximumIll7812 · 2025-12-28T02:34:18+00:00

Everything in our society is setup to blame men and feel sorry for women.

"You are the bad guy, she was smarter and knew it was over long ago and youre just an oblivious idiot"

kellyjj1919 · 2025-12-28T02:28:19+00:00

While some women might be grieving the end of a marriage before they end the relationship, Toxic women do not.

Abusers behave this way. And coaches who don’t call out the toxic behavior of abusive women are flying monkeys

KILL_ME_WITH_UR_ASS · 2025-12-28T02:26:13+00:00

Welcome to the first of many Certified Woman Moments. Just watch and observe and catalog everything and if you're in a one-party consent state record every single encounter

Title	This BS about how she grieved the marriage for a long time…
Author	LearnGrowExist
Upvotes	120
Comments	51
Date	December 28, 2025 2:20 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pxfkbm/this_bs_about_how_she_grieved_the_marriage_for_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/this-bs-about-how-she-grieved-the-marriage-for-a.1569839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569839

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