What was the point of it all?

Choice_Produce2322 · 2026-03-09T18:26:21+00:00

well, I don’t understand why someone in any situation would not simply bring up exactly that point and attempt to bring absolutely everything into the open and get her opinion about the other person‘s opinion about it. Literally ask what will happen in nine years or 10 years when you get tired of me and move on etc. etc. etc.

Good people have answers to these questions. Because they’re ashamed to say what they really think about it… Because they’re good people. Bad people who avoid these questions.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-01-13T14:48:50+00:00

Your mistake was becoming a stepdad, and not having your own children.

Men win all the time. 50/50 is the default in most states. Being a single dad with 50/50 is utopia.

Don't be a dummy next time. Date 10-15 years younger, never married, and no kids. When you remarry get your kids out of the way quickly. Other than kids there is no point to marriage for a man (unless you are religious and your partner is also spiritual).

maturin_nj · 2026-01-07T03:30:17+00:00

The point: you bought into a false belief system. Not until you see that clearly will you understand. Unplug from the main stream narrative. Basically it's not you. Most guys are place holders, the 'x' variable in an algebra equation. IOW some orher guy just like you could have been 'X', to solve the problem.

Once you find your true role as a man, you'll no longer ask questions like this. This kind of servitude you refer was never the point. Male servitude is imposed by institutional structures from outside.

narkj · 2026-01-07T02:41:44+00:00

Don’t let yourself feel bad for yourself too long. Buck up.

DivorceCharacter512 · 2026-01-07T01:34:59+00:00

Why dont your kids talk to you?

FullCrew9486 · 2026-01-07T01:07:58+00:00

hard lesson, but live rest of the life not in thinking what happened in past, but look forward. In this era, men suffering will continue

FUMoney · 2026-01-07T00:23:35+00:00

Do men ever actually win nowadays?

Yes. Those who reject the lifescript. No kids. No marriage. No “manning up” as defined by feminists. Focus on yourself and do as you please.

You win by never playing the marriage/children/divorce/childsupport/alimony game.

brettfish5 · 2026-01-06T22:50:07+00:00

I'm in the same boat bro. I didn't have any kids, but I raised my stepson from 5 till 12 while his father had 4 kids from 3 different women. Apparently I wasn't good enough even though she was a SAHW/M for the entire marriage. I have the memories and they're in a much better place financially, but I'll probably never see either of them again. What was it all for? I have no idea. Let me know if you need someone to talk to.

Rinse-retrieve-123 · 2026-01-06T22:23:02+00:00

Perspective and attitude is everything. You’re alive and free to do whatever you want. Don’t dwell on any of that and don’t call her your wife anymore. It’s ok to have a successful happy life post divorce. What’s the point of being all down about it? Makes life miserable

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-01-06T22:18:32+00:00

Life is hard, the point is not to ever give up and do the best with what you have.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other, hour by hour, day by day and year by year until our last breath.
The perfect life only exist in fairytales.

ABBucsfan · 2026-01-06T20:09:43+00:00

Hopefully your kids come around. When I first moved out I believe she had coached the oldest to try and make trouble and see if she could get anything she might use against me. At one point said she wanted to spend less time here. Both definitely has been told lies. I tried to generally speak favourably or at least not bad about their mom, but eventually one or two things the kids let slip she said that I had to set the record straight on. Now she occasionally threatens to kick my oldest out and it's getting to the point oldest prefers my place. Youngest is getting to that point as well.

Like someone else said just do your duty as best you can as a parent. Put them first and take the high ground. You don't generally regret putting your kids first whether you get a thanks or they appreciate it later or not

Remarkable-Tennis-24 · 2026-01-06T19:19:10+00:00

When in doubt, do what is in the best interest of your kids. Regardless of whether you’re recognized or not, you’ll be able to say- beyond a doubt- that you put the kids first. Sometimes that’s going to suck, you’re going to be lonely, doubting yourself, & praying to god you did the right thing, but if you know that it was 100% for those little creatures who don’t deserve the adult issues they’ve been given, it’ll be easier to sleep at night.

2026-01-06T19:16:32+00:00

It largely depends on what state you were married in. Fight as much as you can/want to, and let the chips fall where they may. Do your best so that you can live with yourself. You can't control what happens. What happens to men and families during/after divorce is often a tragedy. Not always, but more often than it should be.

nerdzilla16 · 2026-01-06T17:39:14+00:00

It is definitely an uphill battle. And it doesn’t seem super equitable in most situations. However, I have heard most of the success for men is years down the road when the children are older and see more of it. I’m not sure if your wife has used divorce poison, or what, but you gotta keep showing up for the kids. Definitely seems to lopsided for the women.

Bonsai-ninja · 2026-01-06T17:36:07+00:00

I'm so worried my Wife is going to turn our kids against me. She's already coaching them while I'm gone. I love my kids so much and the thought of either of them not wanting to be around me hurts so bad.

Accomplished-Bet-883 · 2026-01-06T17:01:07+00:00

Evidently some do.

I feel for you, brother. I'm in the same boat.

She ghosted me and within a year I went from having a pretty solid relationship with my oldest to now being ghosted by her as well and I have no idea why.

Coffeecankicker · 2026-01-06T16:56:00+00:00

I don’t have kids. Thank fuck. But getting away from her is a win. I haven’t been screamed at since September.

bk2747 · 2026-01-06T16:47:22+00:00

I won. I stopped listening to women and kicked her out of my house, saved my life. I went on the offense and my son wants to live with me. Before he goes to middle school, she can either change custody the easy way, or I’ll drag her ass to court non stop until she goes bankrupt. Her choice. My son and I have a bond that is unshakable.

Why don’t your kids speak to you anymore? What happened?

photo_op411 · 2026-01-06T16:35:22+00:00

Sorry brother that you’re going thru this. Keep your head up, work on yourself, hit the gym, make more money, and get into new relationship(s) whenever you’re ready for one. Try to open that line of communications with your kids and build it back. How old are your kids?

Bagman220 · 2026-01-06T16:35:04+00:00

I’m a man, I won.

I have full custody of my kids. My ex and I stayed together long enough for me to get my life in order. So the time together was worth it. The love between her and I is still there, but yes she has moved far away and moved on, and I am here still thriving in my own little world I’ve built.

I think I had just prepared for this. I knew the day might come when I’d have to move on from her. I watched herself dig a hole, and I just made sure I was capable of climbing out of it.

Title	What was the point of it all?
Author	Big-Commercial-2588
Upvotes	48
Comments	36
Date	January 6, 2026 4:28 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1q5n9eo/what_was_the_point_of_it_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-was-the-point-of-it-all.1570557 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570557

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