Opinion Needed: Splitting an Expense

DadVader77 · 2026-02-19T00:31:58+00:00

She wanted to send them on the trip, she pays for it. Her idea, her cost. If she needs help then her parents should chip in since they already planned everything.

It’s no different than if she was taking them on vacation herself.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-02-19T00:10:30+00:00

Under no circumstances do you pay for vacations on her time. My ex tried this with me very early on.

Give your kids some spending money to go have fun, but that is it. Likewise when you take your kids on vacation you don't ask your ex to chip in.

ChiefsGuy2014 · 2026-02-18T21:01:35+00:00

No, do not split vacation costs to her parents.

O12345678 · 2026-02-18T19:32:18+00:00

If she's a bum and taking child support and alimony from you, don't pay for it since she's already getting your money.

If you're a bum and taking child support and alimony from her, you should pay the money since it's really her money.

If neither of you are bums, I would pay it only if my kids were really excited about this trip. If their like meh about it, I would spend the money taking them on a different trip later. I also would request that she gives up two of her weeks instead of using one of yours.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2026-02-18T18:05:28+00:00

A simple “No” is all you need to say.

Reflog1791 · 2026-02-18T17:49:32+00:00

What does divorce decree say? If it’s not in there no way I would pay.

ItsHowItisNow2 · 2026-02-18T16:37:19+00:00

Also…her parents should pay for it…

ItsHowItisNow2 · 2026-02-18T16:35:51+00:00

I would tell her…”Sure why not…I am planning on going on a vacation to wherever when they are back and their airfare and hotel costs will be $$$$ so you know”

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-18T16:11:50+00:00

Tell her to phuck off, she and her decisions are no longer your responsibility.

My ex is so smart and dumb at the same time it blows my mind,

Objective-Fan-5464 · 2026-02-18T16:11:29+00:00

Two things come to mind

Firstly, I would ask for a swap of lost parenting time and not give up a week. It is great for children to spend time with their extended family on both sides of the house but it shouldn't be at the expense of their time with the other parent.
Secondly, I would, not agree to split the airfare, lodging, or any other travel related expense. You could offer the children some discretionary spending money for the trip. You should wholeheartedly encourage the children's relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins (unless there is abuse, etc.) but financing this relationship isn't your responsibility

malsell · 2026-02-18T15:53:07+00:00

Hard no. She's the one choosing to send them on the trip, she needs to pay for it, or her parents can pay to stay with them.

Key-Lengthiness-4315 · 2026-02-18T15:44:01+00:00

Nope. Give the kids spending money, something to benefit them not her.

Grafixx5 · 2026-02-18T15:39:37+00:00

Nope, I’m already giving up a week of my time with them. It is not fair to ask me to help also pay for the trip. (Especially if she is NOT willing to say they can stay with YOU for two weeks giving up a week of her time, and potentially pay for a trip of equal cost)

gaelorian · 2026-02-18T15:25:12+00:00

Nope. Her trip to her parents. On your time.

“I don’t think it is my responsibility to pay for a trip I’m not taking with them.”

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2026-02-18T15:10:58+00:00

Nope. The ONLY time I'll pay for my kids to see her parents is in the event of her death.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-18T14:43:35+00:00

You don't pay for a trip for the kids unless you're going on it. Period. Cause if this was reverse, you know she'd tell you to F off.

Her money is her money, and your money is her money. You got divorced to get away from that. Don't regress.

notconvinced780 · 2026-02-18T14:24:37+00:00

Tell her the expense of taking or sending the kids for a visit to family is the financial responsibility of the parent whose side of the family the kids are visiting. A parent’s agreement to give up parenting time to enable either a family visit or a vacation or a trip with or to the other parent, or the other parent’s family does not obligate them to also pay or share associated expenses of that trip. The travel expenses associated with a school trip or summer camp are different than family visits and/or vacations. If agreed between the parties then those expenses would be split unless otherwise agreed between the parents.

Neo_Anderson302 · 2026-03-15T17:08:55+00:00

She going say took care of them on your time.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-18T14:15:58+00:00

I’m going to split the field here. Knowing nothing of your personal relationship or situation but I’d be happy to pay the 50% here. They not your wife’s parents but your kid’s grandparents. Family time is so important, and so many of my positive childhood memories are of spending time at my grandparents house on holidays.

On the basis that she’s chosen the best and most suitable airfare, and that the kids are happy, pay up.

My relationship with my ex stays strong and drama free because we make good decisions that aren’t always based on black and white or cash money. She’d do the same for me.

MaineMan1234 · 2026-02-18T14:10:53+00:00

Hell no, that’s not something you should be paying for. You have done enough by giving up your week with them. It’s her decision to send them to her family, the cost is not your problem.

Maseworld · 2026-02-18T14:08:36+00:00

I always say, if it's something she wants my kid to do, then she's on the hook for the money. Unless we explicitly agree on an event, item etc.... only then do we split the cost.

GoldenHour2929 · 2026-02-18T13:47:06+00:00

Unless your divorce agreement says you need to pay half for tickets to see your former in-laws, I think you're in the clear. Not sure how long you've been divorced, but I'd also recommend picking your battles. But this is probably a boundary you'll want to establish.

DetroiterInTX · 2026-02-18T13:44:58+00:00

In my opinion, that isn’t your expense. If you were taking the kids somewhere for 2 weeks, is she be paying half of their airfare in that case?

If it was to school trip or a camp, that is different.

UrAristotle · 2026-02-18T13:41:24+00:00

Obviously, all of this depends on what your divorce decree stipulates. However, this isn’t your expense any more than if you sent your kids to stay with your parents. If the divorce decree doesn’t specifically say you should pay half, then it’s her bill to pay.

Pmoneywhazzup · 2026-02-18T13:39:33+00:00

Where are they going, Fiji? That’s some expensive airfare for a pre-planned trip. Find cheaper airfare, and make a reasonable contribution, absent specific language in the divorce order.

Title	Opinion Needed: Splitting an Expense
Author	dystinct
Upvotes	18
Comments	31
Date	February 18, 2026 1:29 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r830m0/opinion_needed_splitting_an_expense/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/opinion-needed-splitting-an-expense.1573745 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573745

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