Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-02-22T02:50:31+00:00

I have a high sex drive. I am sexually attracted to men’s bodies. I wish I could have great sex. A guy off tinder asked me for a bj yesterday. I asked if he would provide me with an orgasm for exchange. Being funny. He asked if I came easily or not. I said not. He said bye. Most men aren’t attracted to me. 🤷‍♀️ I had a much much smaller pool of men. They aren’t attracted to me either for the most part. They want their dicks wet. I’m not having sex with men so that they can get off. I want to have fun too. I’m not going to have fun knowing they aren’t attracted to me and don’t even think about my pleasure in the process.

kmb218 · 2026-02-22T09:02:19+00:00

Well of course, if you specifically search for women not finding men attractive (so not straight people) or women not wanting to have sex online, that’s what you will find. That’s how google works. It works the same way if you google this for men as well.

Otherwise I think the way men treat women during sex plays a big role. Men are on average more violent and dangerous than women which makes a huge difference. For a man, having sex with a woman is not a risk to their safety. Also, there is the orgasm gap. It’s not that uncommon for a man to think sex revolved around his orgasm.

sherehitewasright · 2026-02-22T01:45:41+00:00

The definition of sex as piv and what flows from that eg other phallocentricism. Denial, shaming, erasure, punishment of the clitoris and clit/vulva-centric sex. Denial of female sexuality that's not vicarious, phallocentric, androcentric, submissive, masochistic, high risk low reward, etc. The belief men have sex with their penises, and only those and women with their vaginas and other orifices, not clitorises/vulvas. That the clitoris is so pointless, worthless, nothing at all to do with sex that it has a negative value in sex eg the definition itself, the practice of it. Male entitlement. Aggregate male violence, esp sexual abuse. Sex as work women perform, act for men. Men as subjects, women as objects. Male arousal, desire, pleasure, stimulation, orgasms... is seen as mandatory, female a highly limited optional extra called foreplay at best. Most of what's possible in het sex (aka most clit/vulva-centric sex, particularly the many varieties of tribadism, but even usually genital-genital, cunnilingus, etc) is seen as impossible, unimaginable, incomprehensible, not to be done, weird, extra..., and only possible, sensical, etc in ff sex. The male body outside of the penis is seen as deeply unsexy, only utilitarian, only there for brute force at most. It has nothing to do with sex, is not to be looked at, be passive, an offering, found sexy, acted upon sexually, used to stimulate her, used by her to stimulate herself. Etc

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-02-22T12:31:21+00:00

You’re mistaking dissatisfaction for biology.

If a woman says sex feels like a favour, that’s not evidence she’s wired to reject men. It usually means something in the dynamic isn’t working. Attraction doesn’t override resentment, stress, or feeling pressured. That’s not unique to women either.

“Men are always positive about sex” line is just image management. Men have sexual dysfunction and low libido too. They don’t turn it into a theory about being fundamentally repelled by women or always feel comfortable admitting it publicly.

Long term desire fluctuates across every orientation. Acting like lesbians are in a constant state of bliss just ignores reality.

None of this proves women secretly recoil from men. It proves libido isn’t a switch you flip just because someone is technically your type.

ValeWho · 2026-02-23T23:20:29+00:00

A few factors to consider when comparing lesbians to straight women. Lesbian couples on average have less sex than straight couples, but when they do they are more likely to orgasm than straight women. And they can relax better since there is no risk of pregnancy. Ask yourself would you risk getting pregnant when you can't even expect to have an orgasm?

Women on average just have a lower sex drive than men. Because testosterone is good for libido and women have less testosterone.

Hormonal birth control has a very common side effect of reducing your Libido possibly even killing it completely. And straight women are more likely to take birth control than lesbians

bondepart · 2026-02-22T08:43:04+00:00

The main issue is the orgasm gap. Lesbians don’t have this problem.

If you want women to keep coming back to have sex with you, learn to make them cum from eating her out and fingering her only.

GridReXX · 2026-02-22T13:41:56+00:00

I think your issue is with evolution.

You’re upset that females don’t have the testerical compulsory libido that males do.

Sorry to break this news to you, but the average male has more of a desire to fuck for the sake of fucking than the average females does.

In one early, widely cited couples study, during the first 2 years together about 67% of gay male couples, 45% of heterosexual couples, and 33% of lesbian couples reported sex three or more times per week.

As you can see, the male desire for frequent sex is evident in how these numbers shake out relative to one another — aka males are the primary ones wanting to fuck all the time.

If it were up to straight men, they’d be having as much sex as males who sleep with males (MSMs) do. The reason straight men’s numbers aren’t higher is because of women’s lessened interest in sexual frequency, not because straight men don’t desire sex and NSA sex as much as MSMs.

Most_Vermicelli9722 · 2026-02-22T16:07:12+00:00

Because sex isn’t really pleasurable for me and for many women. I never felt anything like my husband feels when we do it. It’s not fun. I could do it just for him from time to time but men want sex more often than once a couple of months. And in that case it’a hard to enjoy giving because it’s beomes a chore.

If I orgasmed durng sex and felt pleasure during it then I would want it too. But that’s not the case.

Men enjoy sex more and it’s easier for them to acheive pleasure. So why would I want to do it if I’m not a man? What’s in it for me?

HouseOfInfinity · 2026-02-25T13:02:57+00:00

Isn’t there a “dead bedroom” phenomenon in the lesbian community… I’ve heard of it across social media platforms.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-02-27T13:14:50+00:00

If she says she's straight but also finds penises disgusting, she's lying about being straight.

Plain and simple.

Czerymoja · 2026-02-22T12:54:24+00:00

It’s opposite.

It’s YOU/MEN who have a problem with women being happy without sex.

Ronniebbb · 2026-02-22T02:30:47+00:00

I mean there's natural EBS and flows with sex drive depending on the cycle. Sometimes sex is painful as well even with foreplay, like I have endometriosis and sometimes sex hurts, especially if I just had a flare up. There's ppl who naturally also have lower or higher sex drives.

LolaPaloz · 2026-02-22T23:08:08+00:00

I think it's natural for most women not to want it all the time. I think I became more horny only when I wanted to have kids. I didn't really feel that horny in my 20s even tho I liked sex. But didn't have as much drive.

Men have less biological cost to pregnancy because they are not the one carrying the child, and technically could leave, even if theres legal repercussions to that. But biologically, it was always the women who had to be more careful with sex than men.

Title	Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?
Author	Local-Hedgehog1887
Upvotes	30
Comments	113
Date	February 21, 2026 2:04 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1raeoi6/why_do_heterosexual_women_often_have_problems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-heterosexual-women-often-have-problems-with.1573973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573973

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