I broke down infront of my GF and i want to win her respect back

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-06-01T22:23:20+00:00

Super lame when guy friends do this btw

Ok_Potential359 · 2026-06-01T22:50:16+00:00

Why don't you set this boundary with your friend instead of acting insecure with your girlfriend?

Orange_Codex · 2026-06-01T23:18:06+00:00

it's a serious relationship we are mid 30s , friend is 30

Fucking Hell man, we've all been there but you're miles too old for this.

Whatever your friend is or isn't doing (probably nothing), it's irrelevant if you can trust your girlfriend. Your reaction was driven purely by your own insecurity ('alpha,' 'beta'). The best thing to do is the one that requires the most balls: do some soul-searching and give your friend a thorough apology. If he's surprised to hear details, you should give your girlfriend an apology as well.

Zealousideal-Sir3744 · 2026-06-01T22:40:56+00:00

Don't listen to the dumb kids in here. If you can't be emotinally vulnerable infront of your GF at all, you will hate yourself later for not breaking up sooner. Now that also doesn't mean being overly jealous though. There's also no Alpha/Beta, get that shit out of your head, because THAT actually fucks with your confidence and is something that girls will notice. Be confident in yourself and in what you want. If your friend is going too far, stay calm and tell him to back off. If he doesn't respect that then respect yourself and leave with your girl. That will also win back her respect for you.

Hot-Boysenberry4591 · 2026-06-01T22:45:41+00:00

Being chill doesn’t mean being submissive. Plenty of alpha males are calm as ice. Think James Bond.

Also, not being able to have your worst moments with your person is lame regardless of gender. Something to consider

Matter_Still · 2026-06-02T03:08:31+00:00

Thirteen or thirty, we’re all going to have those moments when we said or did something we regret.

The challenge is not to get mired in them. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with it.

You have no control in whether she’ll respect you or not. You can try, but that’s hers to give, not yours to pry from her.

Jack26918 · 2026-06-01T22:37:31+00:00

"...For being themselves" is the worst excuse I've heard in a long time- bad behavior is bad behavior, period. And how is this relevant to this cccommunity?

Cavsfan724 · 2026-06-01T22:59:40+00:00

You have to assert yourself when he is around for her to respect you.

thai-rhone · 2026-06-02T10:20:55+00:00

My God you have a lot of shit to fix with yourself. Just reading your post made me feel so fucking sad for you. The fact that your friend acts alpha around you is because you bring it out of him. He isn't threatened by your presence and does not value your friendship. You need to increase your value.

You've already lost it with this social group. I suggest you cut all these people out. Take the time to reflect on why you are being mogged and improve your value.

Once that is fixed finding new friends and new women would be a piece of fucking cake.

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-06-01T22:54:07+00:00

I wouldn’t get stuck on your identity as “chill” or “submissive” or “alpha” or “who I am” or whatever. What you’ve done in the past provides the scope for what you’re comfortable with right now. But if you do something different for a week or two, it will feel familiar and comfortable soon after. Now is the time to gently explore the space of experience and expression. Do it playfully,

With insecurity, there’s almost always shame. And with shame, there’s only two ways to go:

1) create an identity around the shame that seeks to hide and protect it. So if you feel weak, you can get all ripped, or learn ju-jitsu. Or you can make your identity one that’s shameless, claiming that caring about the body and strength is for superficial people who can’t access the deeper and finer things

2) go into the shame, uncover it, and really let yourself soak in your insecurity. What are you afraid of losing? What do you depend on? What do you care about? Really go into the feeling in your body. It’s always, at bottom, a fundamental human vulnerability. It’s painful to recognize vulnerability, but it’s the part to growth and robust strength.

If you choose 1) then you can go out on an act to try to impress your girlfriend. She will smell desperation and weakness and not be impressed. Maybe sympathetic?

If you choose 2), you’ll have to sit with some pain. You’ll need to look at your behavior, and why you act a certain way, and why you respect some people more than others, if you can avoid reacting to those pains, and just really listen, your insecurity will become a strength, by leaning into vulnerability with honesty.

And then you can go work out and learn to lead. Not as a compulsive reaction to hide your shame, but as a development of yourself a a fuller and richer character on the stage of your life

Silly_Randy · 2026-06-01T23:13:27+00:00

Never introduce your guy friends to your girl.

Only hang out with guy friends if its like a double date or group.

And even then if a guy does some dumb "alpha" shit, I ain't hanging out with him.

Either that or its time for you to become "alpha" too. And compete just like all these dumbasses.

KongWick · 2026-06-02T03:14:53+00:00

That ain’t your friend

haftzabaa · 2026-06-02T09:43:03+00:00

Why did you get angry at her rather than at him? If you have a problem with him then you should confront him.

kinda accused her that he acts that way around her to get her attention and that he might like her more than just a friend

Surely you can tell that this sentence is nonsensical, right? You accused her that he did something. What?

I just want to win her respect back she probably sees me now as an insecure pitty man and that's not good. The spark is gone and she barely wants to sleep with me

Framing this as you "winning her back" is coming from the same jealous, insecure frame as the rest of what you've talked about.

AllOurHerosArePeados · 2026-06-03T06:51:00+00:00

You can't, it's over, either leave or get cheated it's pretty simple. Rookie mistake G.

Dzeddy · 2026-06-02T03:50:29+00:00

You sound incredibly insecure dude

softspoken19 · 2026-06-01T23:05:42+00:00

I got you lil bro. Most people aren’t answering your question. I’m a veteran in this game.

The only way to salvage this is to pullback. You might lose your girl but you have to be in abundance for this to work. If she chases a little, you have to reframe it. You have to basically let her know that that’s not what you’re looking for in a girl/future wife. You have to reframe this as you have standards that she must meet, not that you’re insecure.

Tbh this only works if you’re in abundance and you know you can replace her. This is how you keep the power in the relationship.

If you want to try another method, you don’t have to completely pullback aggressively, just seem “distant”. Become busy and start focusing on other things. Never bring up what happened again and never get insecure like that. Let her start to chase slightly. You have to create some scarcity for her moving forward. If your girl is acting like this, it sounds like this is what you need to do anyway

Complex_Box6980 · 2026-06-01T23:03:44+00:00

Man just be you, if you felt hurt you can show it, if you are chill you can show it, dont let your friend know about your gf i don't know why you did that, be normal and be you

Deffective_Paragon · 2026-06-02T00:07:09+00:00

Yep this sounds like something that could happen to me with the kind of personality I have around women and friends. I know it sucks man.

BandicootSoggy8312 · 2026-06-02T01:04:56+00:00

I’d honestly stop bringing my gf around him lol and maybe stop chilling with the guy it would piss me off and if ur gf try’s to keep chilling wit him that’s super weird

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2026-06-02T03:53:31+00:00

I assume you're an introvert, while your friend is an extrovert? If that's the case, I can understand the beta thing, but that has nothing to do with you, really. You mention you haven't been close to your gf in a while, so theirs some issues to unpack. Realistically though, you cant stop her from liking someone else.

jimmywarrior · 2026-06-02T09:05:50+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

Imamuthafucka · 2026-06-02T12:20:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheThirteenShadows · 2026-06-02T13:58:06+00:00

I just want to win her respect back she probably sees me now as an insecure pitty man and that's not good. The spark is gone and she barely wants to sleep with me

So...why are you with her, exactly? Like, if you can't be honest about how you're feeling around your girlfriend (without her seeing you as an 'insecure pitiable man' who can't be respected), why are you in this relationship? This sort of stuff (don't show vulnerability, be 'masculine') works fine for hookups, but I can't see it working out in any romantic relationship that's meant to be long-term (well, it could work out. It just sounds miserable).

ScotsmanKeys · 2026-06-03T08:10:21+00:00

You cannot recover from that kind of mistake.

Learn from it and accept it.

What do do next? Continue onwards and leave it in the past. Don't bring it up again.

PlayaNoir · 2026-06-03T18:40:39+00:00

She thinks I'm only being jealous and weirded out about how i can think that there might be something going between them.

Women don't care about your feelings other than the ones that are positive towards them. You came off as insecure, that's not attractive and your woman would prefer a man that's secure, not a man that's worrying about his friend stealing his woman. Confident men do not do this, weak men do.

The posters giving you a pass over weak behavior, are themselves weak and also broadcast that in their own relationships. Women want to hear about victory not defeat. You have probably communicated weak behavior in other instances however your woman won't tell you about it, but it will be the story (about why the relationship ended) told to the next guy that is more confident than you.

LostDiscussion2134 · 2026-06-05T13:00:53+00:00

Something sounds wrong here, you need to grow some balls. How can you sit here and say my friend is the alpha I’m the beta? It’s your girlfriend, why are you letting her interact with him in a flirtatious manner if she truly is? Same goes with your friend, he’s not your friend if he’s flirting her up.

SadmanShoad · 2026-06-02T00:46:48+00:00

Maybe I'm not emotionally mature enough to comment here but I think if you can't be emotionally honest with your girlfriend/potential life partner, she's not the right one for you.

Kylearean · 2026-06-01T22:23:43+00:00

too late. I learned this lesson the hard way many times. Never, ever, show emotional vulnerability in front of your girlfriend / wife.

Title	I broke down infront of my GF and i want to win her respect back
Author	Zack72783
Upvotes	34
Comments	62
Date	June 1, 2026 10:21 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tu7vd9/i_broke_down_infront_of_my_gf_and_i_want_to_win/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-broke-down-infront-of-my-gf-and-i-want-to-win.1581861 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581861

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