Whenever Ive gotten incredibly drunk, I was held responsible for shit I did.

SirSkeptic · 2013-04-13T02:46:45+00:00

I like that there's loads of comments under the images calling them out for sexism.

griffer00 · 2013-04-13T05:57:00+00:00

Did these remind anyone else of the "successful black male" memes?

toastthemost · 2013-04-13T07:25:49+00:00

On a shallow basis, it says look out for your friends from being preyed upon, especially when intoxicated when they are most vulnerable.

Then again, the feminist community might say that the one-sided nature of these posters imply women are weak and dependent on others.

Or, the men's rights movement, which would say that these impose unfair standards for males over females.

I tend to agree with all of those assessments, and I don't like the undertones, but we can all agree that the intent of these posters is what is on the shallow side.

kragshot · 2013-04-13T08:15:13+00:00

See highly intoxicated girl, call cops to have her arrested for drunk in public. I'm sure they will ensure her safety.

kempff · 2013-04-13T07:05:47+00:00

...because after the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, women still need choices to be made for them.

giegerwasright · 2013-04-13T09:53:45+00:00

"I was drunk" is another form of damselling. That doesn't mean that there aren't people who are taken advantage of when they are incapacitated by excess intoxication. However. Damselling isn't something that's available to men. So of course you were held responsible. No damselling for you.

2013-04-13T02:08:56+00:00

So if your friends saw someone possibly trying to take advantage of you, they would let it happen and then blame you for it ... who needs enemies hey?

herbandmargie · 2013-04-13T05:44:50+00:00

The overtly masculine male made me feel good about protecting women.

It must be the cool thing to do.

smugvegan · 2013-04-13T11:17:51+00:00

I was so touched and moved by this campaign I thought I'd contribute a wee bit of time and make one that addresses a situation near and dear to my heart.

http://i.imgur.com/uEEn5xI.png

HausDeKittehs · 2013-04-13T03:10:27+00:00

I'm sorry no one looks out for you. Get better friends.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2013-04-13T14:10:09+00:00

That first one is so patronizing.

It assumes that it's a man's job to safeguard the virtue of women.

Why didn't her friends take care of her? Why did they need a guy to point this out to them?

Also in real life going up to a bunch of drunk women and telling them they should go home is not going to work out well.

If we're to assume that women are inferior and require men's superior judgement to be safe then doesn't that kind of negate the whole feminist movement?

Poltra_Actual · 2013-04-13T16:16:10+00:00

I have had plenty of sex I regret, and surprisingly... I haven't accused anyone of rape! It is almost like I realize that it is my fault. weird huh?

Point for people who don't get what I mean, If I (a man) am drunk and I hit on a woman (Also drunk) we are of equal capability in making a decision on whether to fuck or not. Giving women the ability to holler rape because THEY didn't like the sex (as in it was sup par) makes me Really not want to go to a bar and socialize anymore. I don't know about you guys, but I really don't want to be accused of being a rapist because of some bad drunk sex.

countbuXton29 · 2013-04-13T02:33:12+00:00

I agree with Sigil1. This kind of stuff on r/MensRights doesn't really make sense. What you imply by your post title is that in all of those scenarios the drunk girl should've just been left to be potentially raped...and if she was, whoops, it's her fault and she better take responsibility for it.

Now, if you had said that you were upset because all the drunk stories were about preventing a woman from being raped rather than keeping it gender neutral, then I would be able to empathize with you. As of now, you're perpetuating the problem.

The point of r/MensRights isn't to demonize women as that would just perpetuate the women vs. men stereotype that so many people ascribe to feminists (when, in fact, a lot of "feminists" are actually for equal rights just like us. The point of r/MensRights is to fight for equal rights, especially when it comes to things such as rape. We don't blame the drunk, we don't blame the victim, we don't demand that they take better care of themselves. We blame the rapist.

Cyridius · 2013-04-13T09:24:27+00:00

Posters like this are in general, stupid. Despite their intentions.

Firstly, people are responsible for themselves, and should never expect anybody else to look after them. If they don't look after themselves, it is their own fault. This applies to everybody.

Secondly, it implies that women are weak willed and need looking after. No thanks. Women can look after themselves just as well as men.

Thirdly, it implies that all men are sexual predators. It also implies that all men are liars with an alterior motive(Again, the assumption is consistently that said motive is sex).

Finally, it implies that you should not look out for your guy friends. It's the right thing to do to look out for all of your friends on a night out, yeah, they're responsible for their own well being through and through, but a good person will look after them when they're in need of help. These "ads" are counter-acting that sentiment, disregarding entirely any male friends you have.

In short, this is just a terrible, sexist advertisement which ignores the values of friendship and instills the mysogynistic and misandryst ideal of chivalry.

salami_inferno · 2013-04-13T06:23:57+00:00

Let's be perfectly clear. Alcohol is a drug, and it isn't right to take advantage of people who are impaired beyond a reasonable amount.

Passed out via alcohol and passed out via a roofy are the same thing.

kragshot · 2013-04-13T18:35:22+00:00

Okay, I did a little back reading on this whole campaign and it's insane. A lot of this started from Missoula, MT being named "The Rape Capitol of America." For the record, Missoula is a college town, which should explain a lot.

Anyway, there was a Jezebel article on the town. While I hate giving that trash site any traffic; upon reading the article, I see a lot of truth on the subject, despite the badly-executed spin that the writer tries to put on the article.

But this statement keeps coming up in the article:

"...the girls in Missoula are the type who "make shit up for attention." Girls "cry rape" in Missoula, say the girls of Missoula, who are often quicker to blame "sluts" for getting themselves into sketchy situations than are guys."

It's the girls in this campus town who are the first to say that the other women are making false claims of rape to get attention; not the guys, but the girls.

Think about that for a moment and let it soak in....

getfuckingreal · 2013-04-13T12:45:53+00:00

White knights everywhere, god I hate small minded insecure dorks who want to "protect the honor of the lady" when they don't know the story and their "villain" hasn't done anything wrong. It's the same guys that bitch about friend zone and shit, they aren't attractive to women so they think if they "save" them they will get sex, they are the creeps not regular guys letting their intentions be known.

Thisismynetlife · 2013-04-13T06:28:16+00:00

Of course a woman can't be expected to take personal responsibility for herself, and ya know, not get fucking tanked.

CrossHook · 2013-04-13T11:38:48+00:00

And not a single one about women taking advantage of drunk men.

Fuck you, feminists.

IHaveALargePenis · 2013-04-13T14:52:13+00:00

I love the two way sexism here. One it's sexist against men because they're all rapists. Two it's sexist against women because it's telling men they need to "man up" and take over for her, even if she is perfectly capable of making her own choices. She's had a few drinks? She needs a man to step in and start making decisions for her.

Omni314 · 2013-04-13T08:48:54+00:00

How the fuck is anyone supposed to hook up? It just seems that if I followed these posters talking to anyone would be a real challenge.

Poltra_Actual · 2013-04-13T10:49:50+00:00

Ah, I love it. The girl has gotten too drunk. It's the guy's fault if she isn't looked after. If a guy is too drunk though. Let's get this asshole thrown out of the bar to freeze to death instead shall we?

2013-04-13T11:25:44+00:00

How about just don't get so drunk that you don't know where you are or what your name is?

Because you know, patriar... err kyri... errr personal fucking responsibility maybe?

2013-04-13T12:22:02+00:00

If women have no responsibility for their actions like toddlers, they should have the rights of toddlers.

funnyfaceking · 2013-04-13T14:24:07+00:00

when i told my therapist i was raped while i was incredibly high, she didn't "hold me responsible"

Redditishorrible · 2013-04-13T17:24:21+00:00

A vagina is the ultimate get out of jail free card.

2013-04-13T18:59:01+00:00

Fight! Fight! Fight!

EDIT: I've been having a lot of fun with these.

Vandredd · 2013-04-13T12:22:35+00:00

This stuff needs to be mocked and satirized to hell and back

2013-04-13T13:12:12+00:00

Wow, those images calling for men not to fuck women who are do drunk to consent...

So relevant to mens' rights!

ekando · 2013-04-13T14:48:30+00:00

I hate when people assume that just because I'm drunk, I'm incapable of making my own decisions. Puh-lease! If I'm three sheets to the wind and there's a fella hitting on me, just let me relish in the fact that I might actually get to have sex. And if I come to you and say, "hey, Creeper McCreepface makes me feel awkward", then you can usher me out of the bar. But not if I don't wanna.

metadinex · 2013-04-13T15:09:42+00:00

Seriously? The people here have problems with a campaign about looking out for your friends?

2013-04-13T16:07:41+00:00

This is going to sound old fashioned, but...

Every decision we make has consequences. Sometimes, they're good; sometimes, they're not. Every individual, at any given time, can mitigate their risk of something bad happening to them. The question is: "What are you willing to sacrifice to prevent [insert event here] from happening to you?" Obviously, most people fail to mitigate risk properly. It is, in part, poor personal tradeoff decisions and misinformation on the part of society on what you are "entitled" to do with your own life.

The posters do send a positive message, but the problem is that it could also be misinterpreted as an entitlement to a third party's protection when you make poor decisions.

I would personally protect a woman if I knew she was in danger, but their are several limitations to this. First of all, I'm only one person. I can't watch everyone. Secondly, you can't possibly know if an drunk person is in danger 100% of the time by passing observation, especially if you don't know them. These are a few among many.

While it is true that we should teach people to act virtuously when they see something they know is wrong, we should also teach potential victims to be agents. They should know that they're not children anymore, and no one is required to babysit them.

Teach people to be vigilant, but also, teach people to be responsible.

Lew32792 · 2013-04-13T16:08:59+00:00

Amen to the good guys out there.

StandsInRefuse · 2013-04-13T10:01:55+00:00

The sweeping sexism in the captions does bother me slightly, if you were a guy getting another guy out of a situation where you thought she was taking advantage of him, you would be called a cock-blocker by everyone.

I think people should take some responsibility for themselves though, ie they don't get so drunk to the point that they can't think for themselves, especially among people they consider to be creeps.

jonnytechno · 2013-04-13T10:11:11+00:00

Anyone got a fresh link, original seems to be down.

ReBurnInator · 2013-04-13T11:34:01+00:00

While I fully support helping to keep your friends from doing stupid things, I don't like what this campaign assumes about men. If you want to help your friend, don't let her get so sloshed that she's willing to leave with a stranger.

2013-04-13T13:04:15+00:00

He was acting all sweet and offering her a ride... but it didn't feel right so my friends and I stepped and got her out of there.

Or, you know, he was just being nice and offering her a ride home.

I'm 20 years out of the dating scene, but nothing drove me nuts more than a group of friends who felt the need to "protect" their friend from making a bad decision - whether drunk or not. If she likes me and wants to hang out with me, and then all her friends are like "that guy's gross... ewwww"... Yeah, that's what sucks about women.

davidwin86 · 2013-04-13T15:11:00+00:00

i like this

kragshot · 2013-04-13T18:14:58+00:00

I remember the "Don't Be That Guy" campaign.

The question was asked; what do you think of the campaign. I was blasted by feminists and guys in feminist clothing for making the following comment:

"Uh...don't be the guy who helps a drunk woman home?

Yeah, in this climate of rape hysteria, I'm all for not being that guy. That's what her girlfriends are for...let them take her drunk ass home, or just load her in a cab, and let the cabbie get the false rape accusation (sarcasm). If she's drunk enough to be that out of it, then she's drunk enough to mistakenly remember you as the guy who committed the rape that she didn't remember happening because she was too drunk.

Any guy with any with an ounce of sense should just leave a woman alone if she's been drinking, period. It isn't worth the trouble and the possible jail time. Drunk fucks aren't a legally viable pastime and should be discouraged. Many guys go out drinking with a sober designated driver; he should also be a wingman to make sure that you don't get caught up in a drunk fuck.

If you're too drunk to drive, then you're too drunk to fuck."

I still stand by that statement.

DavidNatan · 2013-04-13T10:00:58+00:00

How drunk is too drunk to consent is about as abstract as how young.

At some point it's too young. That's why you ask for an ID card if in doubt. In absence of any laws concerning blood alcohol levels and consent, don't sleep with drunk chicks, you don't know.

I think the right thing is the same rule should apply to drunk guys, not that it shouldn't apply at all.

TheGoalOfGoldFish · 2013-04-13T07:42:45+00:00

Let's ignore those sexiest images for a minute and talk about the issue.

By analogy lets say. That John is at a party, and there is a person Carl, who really doesn't like John. Only a few people notice that Carl really doesn't like John, and Carl doesn't really do anything to make his position know. Later in the night, everyone is having a good time, a long time pasted tipsy, a bunch of people have already called it a night. There aren't as many people around, and Carl decides to approach John. He ask if he would like to gets some air, or to see the stars, or heck out this cool new thing his friend put in the room upstairs. These are all perfectly innocent requests, and it's a party, and John is being social. It sounds like fun so he agrees. Once outside they talk for a a bit, then Carl starts to be verbally abusive towards John. He's being a real harsh cunt, and John doesn't quite know what happened, he is shocked, and just stands there for a minute trying to figure out what is actually going on. It's at this point Carl just start's throwing punches. The first on hit's him right in the head, he wasn't ready for it. Dizzy, still a bit drunk, and not sure what happening John tells Carl to stop. But Carl just keeps throwing punches at him. So John starts throwing punches back, though there is no contest anymore. John is still able to stand, and gets the odd word out, but no longer able to defend himself. But Carl just keeps throwing punches at him.

I personally don't agree that drugs or alcohol sufficiently alter you, or your decision making ability. If you're an arsehole while you drink, your probably an arsehole before you drink. If you did something stupid while on drugs, it was still your decision, and you should be held responsible for it. I think it is just plain incorrect to see it any other way. But acknowledge I may be wrong, and try to explore the reasons why.

But anyway.

I think there may be an issue here, and it's important to recognize that all cases are not as simple as: 'drunk consent' = your own responsibility vs that person was raped.

I do not believe feminism, or male rights have sufficiently identified what is actually going on, let alone began to touch on all the very complex issues surrounding it.

Title	Whenever Ive gotten incredibly drunk, I was held responsible for shit I did.
Author	quraong
Upvotes	301
Comments	221
Date	April 13, 2013 1:46 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/1c8vf6/whenever-ive-gotten-incredibly-drunk-i-was-held-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/whenever-ive-gotten-incredibly-drunk-i-was-held.1610439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1610439

Comments