Q4Women: what’s the most romantic thing a man has ever done for you?

yasee · 2019-03-12T18:31:06+00:00

made me a videogame

I appreciate romance when it isn't generic, like it's actually tailored to who I am as an individual

yes I do (what I consider) romantic things too

a_vanillae · 2019-03-12T21:12:42+00:00

He took me on an impromptu road trip to the lower Outer Banks to see wild horses when I was 37 week's pregnant. I very much appreciated it, in spite of my swollen lower legs. Earlier this year he took me to Florida to see manatees and did not rest until we found them.

I express romance by making things for him, like food or art or clothes, and taking care of him.

We culture and nurture each other's interests. That's the best I've got for romance.

Texastentialism · 2019-03-12T18:29:47+00:00

I'm not really sure what's meant by "romantic." I mean for me the most romantic thing a man has ever done is make me his wife and want to have kids with me but I guess that isn't really what people mean by romance.

I guess the most stereotypically romantic thing a man has done was when my ex-bf wrote a poem for/about me. Frankly I found it embarrassing and wanted to crawl out of my skin when he read it to me. He was a good writer and it was a pretty nice poem but the whole situation just made me uncomfortable.

I'm not really into overt displays/declarations of affection beyond like hugs and kisses. I think I appreciate thoughtful gestures more than romantic ones, and that's how I prefer to show love too. Meaning, doing a small thing to make my life easier is much more meaningful to me than some grand public gesture.

DebatePony · 2019-03-12T18:34:55+00:00

He has done so many romantic things it's hard to list. He is a fantastic gift giver, he cleans the house, we go on dates, he listens and cares about my day/experiences, he texts me though out the day and tells me he loves and misses me (or to share funny memes), and my favorite: when he gets home he gives me a big hug and tells me that he is happy to be home and that he missed me. Oh and after being home for a while he usually tells me that he feels so much better being home or that he was in a crummy mood but being home pulled him out of his funk.

I do romantic things for him too. I give thoughtful and meaningful gifts, I give him head/neck/back rubs/scratches/massages every night, I plan outings/dates, and find funny memes/interesting things on the internet to share.

AutoModerator · 2019-03-12T18:14:27+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-03-12T19:22:11+00:00

My ex-fiancé took me on a date that began with dinner, progressed into giving me a copy of a new novel by my favorite author, then attending a speaking event and book signing of my favorite author to get my new book signed.

Clit-cheese · 2019-03-12T20:43:55+00:00

THIS right here! Ansolutely nailed it!

MellifluousMaple · 2019-03-12T21:39:27+00:00

Said he wanted to marry me and have a family with me

PennnyLame · 2019-03-12T22:39:34+00:00

We had a truly awful Christmas with my family a few years back thanks to one of my sisters’ offspring. After that we swore off family Christmas for a bit. The next Christmas my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Husband immediately made plans to get us both up to my family. He said,”I am getting you to your mom.” He took work off, booked airbnb’s and drove us 20 hours in snow.

shoup88 · 2019-03-13T10:37:37+00:00

Hmm, we’ve been together over 12 years, so there have been a lot of small gestures. I think one of the most cinematically romantic things was for my 30th birthday. He gave me my card first thing and it said pack your bag, we’re going away for the weekend. He booked us a weekend away out of town and booked us a nice dinner.

I was a little bummed that my 30th would be so far from my friends and family, but that made it really nice.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-03-12T18:31:33+00:00

When I was in college I briefly dated someone in my major. Between classes, study groups, and dates we had managed to go several weeks of seeing each other every day. On the first day that we didn't happen to have some reason to see each other, he ran across campus to where I was working just to give me a kiss and then left.

It was a nice gesture, but I can certainly live without it.

As far as romantic stuff that I do? Idk, I don't really try to be romantic, I try to be sexy. But the other day I got out of the shower half way through so my SO could use the bathroom and he said he thought that was very romantic.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-03-12T18:56:38+00:00

Buy me chick fil a. I have never been given flowers or anything :/. Even when I had a boyfriend he made up an excuse to not see me on valentines day. I don't like romance before I actually am into the guy, buying flowers won't make me wanna date you. But I appreciate it AFTER I like the guy.

I like doing sweet things. I helped my ex get into the school I was going to, I made him an adorable Vday card, for other guys I was always doing shit for them to.

I am a Femcel AMA /s

Young_Oryx · 2019-03-12T18:27:16+00:00

When I wake up every morning, my husband makes a big, silly deal out of it. He claps and cheers and gives me a big hug, then makes me coffee.

It's the best. It makes me feel really loved. I don't know if that counts as classically romantic, but I'm counting it.

I do things like that for him too. I'll make up silly dances or change the words of songs to make them funny because it makes him smile.

GradualDecomp · 2019-03-12T18:18:51+00:00

I've had a few grand gestures that were very romantic and fun. Getting surprised with a limo after work to take me to the theater, a private chef hired to make a 4 course dinner with my favorite foods, etc.

But to me, the most romantic thing is an unexpected handwritten love note. I'd rather have that over any elaborate gesture.

Electra_Cute · 2019-03-12T18:21:50+00:00

My boyfriend bought me a really specific present that was thoughtful.

[deleted] · 2019-03-12T18:31:01+00:00

This Valentine's day was a good example...

I came home to a dozen roses, heart shaped box of Godiva chocolates and super cute note in a Valentine's day card. Later we were having dinner at Ruth's Chris and he asked the server for extra blue cheese dressing for my wedge salad, which I am always shy about asking for but he remembered.

He's done stuff like brought small gifts (chocolates and little bits of jewelry, nothing crazy) on our hiking trips and surprised me with them as we rest in a nice scenic place.

azngirl7689 · 2019-03-12T18:46:54+00:00

He gave me money for my birthday. I got groceries and got my hair and nails done.

Not much of a romantic here but that was nice.

whichbladeN · 2019-03-12T19:06:55+00:00

My favorite thing me and my boyfriend do is when he comes home I run downstairs and jump into his arms.

It's kind of weird that I can't think of the MOST romantic thing. I guess it would be when he asked me to prom. He made a necklace out of a piece of blown glass we made together, and he put on my favorite color shirt and hid behind a tree waiting to surprise me. Unfortunately I went in the back and didn't see him behind the tree lol.

LifterofThings · 2019-03-12T19:27:46+00:00

Stereotypical displays of "romance" make me really uncomfortable. An ex did the whole rose petals on the bed song and dance which I guess was a nice effort but I was all "what a waste of money and a mess".

He brags about me to his coworkers. I like that a lot. I'm super cagey about phone calls so he'll make calls to service providers or answer my phone if I don't recognize the number. He'll get up with the kids if I'm really exhausted, even though he works the physically harder job. He talks me down from my neurotic loops of extreme negativity. He likes me and protects me, lol.. that's all I ever hoped for!

I try to do things regularly that let him know he's always at the front of my mind but I don't really do grand gestures either. Stuff like make his lunch, cook his meals, replace his toiletries as I notice they're getting empty or replace clothes if I notice they're getting worn out. He once mentioned wanting plums and they were out of season and I kept checking the store every time I went and surprised him with plums like... 6 weeks after he'd mentioned them.

All in all, it's a pretty fantastic relationship!

philomexa · 2019-03-12T19:29:48+00:00

When its warm out and my husband walks anywhere he usually comes back with a bunch of wild flowers (or flowers stealthily yanked out of peoples gardens). The tradition started in college when he'd walk home from class and snag a couple of wild flowers along the way (we went to school in the-middle-of-nowhere, IL so there was a lot of open prairie/farm land between campus and our house on the edge of town).

Unfortunately the last time he did this (last summer) our cat almost died because apparently a whole host of IL wild flowers are poisonous to cats. 🤷

When I was a camp counselor for the YMCA I'd make cheesy cards for my husband during arts and craft time.

but lately its been the little things; I'll get him a bag of a specific kind of gummy bears when I run errands, or he'll get me a tiny $0.25 machine toy for my collection.

I don't much care for "romance" or at least the mainstream expectation of it (fancy dinners, dates, expensive gifts, vacations, etc). It feels alien and weird any time I've tried to participate (either receiving or giving). To me, romance is the spontaneous recognizing that my SO would like ______ during my day to day business.

Before we were dating, I brought my husband his favorite taco bell item and a movie to watch while he was recovering from knee surgery. He couldn't move much so he was stuck watching the same 3 dvds within reach, additionally he was pretty lonely since his friends were going to class/work/party. So I figured I'd keep him company, and hopefully provide some entertainment and something more to eat than the leftovers he was subsisting on. Years later he still says that's the most romantic thing anybody has every done for him.

ETA: more things I thought of; he brags about me to others which really satisfies some fucked ego shit I have going on, and I give him all sorts of back rubs/scratches/massages/etc which really plugs in to his love language.

[deleted] · 2019-03-12T19:37:17+00:00

If I'm upset about something he pours me a wine and runs me a bath and comes in with wine refills without me asking.

[deleted] · 2019-03-12T19:43:02+00:00

A high school BF who didn't go to the same school surprised me on the morning of my birthday by having a mutual friend of ours deliver my gift, a set of Tsum Tsum plushies. We still met up to celebrate that weekend but he wanted me to get them on my birthday.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-03-12T20:01:39+00:00

Humor

Edit: building me musical instruments

Finding solutions for family members’ being challenging so I don’t have to.

Willow-girl · 2019-03-12T20:12:55+00:00

When I moved in with my boyfriend, I didn't have a wooden spoon that I liked and couldn't find one in the stores that suited me. Somewhere along the line, I'd lost my old one that was just right! So my man took a chunk of oak out of the woodpile and over the course of a couple of evenings, whittled a custom wooden spoon to my specifications. That was 6 years ago and I still use it all the time. If you're reading this, thanks Babe!

poppy_blu · 2019-03-12T22:55:07+00:00

Marry me and father my child

[deleted] · 2019-03-12T22:58:38+00:00

Our whole proposal process wasn't very romantic. We had some things to hash out due to age and expectation differences. This was fine, I don't see how it could've gone any other way tbh. So when I got an actual PROPOSAL it was a shock because I had no reason to expect it. He flew in my parents, siblings, and had the 2 friends of mine he cared about there along with his family at the opening of the second location of the restaurant our first date was at. My brain actually shorted out, I can't remember what he said but I remember the feeling. When I told him this he started leaving every disgustingly sappy thought in writing everywhere so I wouldn't forget. On napkins, post its, the counter spelled out in teething cookies, etc. He still does this but it's usually a screenshot now!

It's between that and having a baby blanket made for our daughter out of all of our concert tees while dating. We met at work at a media company where concerts were a perk so we went to a lot.

Do I do romantic things? If they're small or slut-adjacent. Grand gestures are definitely more his thing, it doesn't register the same for him as me so I don't fight it by trying more/harder.

hoere_des_heeren · 2019-03-13T00:18:55+00:00

And do you appreciate romance

Nope, "romantic gestures" are rooted in weird gender roles anyway and in practice it's just benevolent sexism.

And thankfully no one has ever done anything "romantic" for me that I know of.

Do you do romantic things for the man too?

Nein.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-03-13T04:21:24+00:00

Sounds kind of “stalker“ territory, in fact if anyone other than him was doing it I would have been creeped out, lol. We had known each other for a long time and he was doing some side work for me on my house, so he had keys. He started fixing things not on the list, leaving gifts “well I noticed you didn’t seem to own a cast iron skillet”. Once I came home and my ladder back old chair was gone, next day I came home and it was there in my living room fixed.

The funniest one was he brought over an extension ladder and was outside looking into my attic. When I asked him what in the world he was doing, he said he was checking to see if it would be worth putting in a ladder to access it for storage. My husband is/was a bit of a hoarder. Wasn’t long before he installed those stairs and was filling my attic with his junk.

Santaclause37 · 2019-03-13T04:56:29+00:00

Having good genetics

Man_bunny · 2019-03-13T07:43:21+00:00

I mentioned that I've never received flowers from anyone before when talking to his friend about gifts and his ex. The next day he surprised me with a red rose.

Kittennoodle · 2019-03-13T11:49:18+00:00

My husband held me over a 10 story balcony on vacation while we were wasted and he didn't drop me. That's as romantic as it gets. It's our joke now. I just tell him that we get a second floor from now on.

KikiYuyu · 2019-03-13T17:34:49+00:00

When I was 8 my crush patted the seat beside him and gestured for me to come over. Later on he showed me his surgery scar.

mistresswhat · 2019-03-12T20:03:10+00:00

Hired me a rentboy for my birthday.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-03-12T20:13:21+00:00

My man is a songwriter and he has written lots of romantic songs for me. One in particular he put on his band's EP and it is their most streamed track on Spotify. Our friend's requested that he play it at their wedding.

We dance and sing together every day, we text each other throughout the day, we snuggle every morning and night in bed. We touch each other a lot.

He gives me lifts all the time, he buys the groceries so I can cook him food.

I wear sexy for-his-eyes-only clothes when we're alone in the house.

There's so much more, we've been together 6 years and every day we find a new way to be romantic.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-03-12T22:36:52+00:00

I think I'm probably one of the girlier PPD posters about this - I love cheesy, over the top romantic stuff. Except for flowers. Fuck flowers

M loves to do romantic sunset picnics on the beach. I love them, they're my favorite things. We also have a tradition of going into Little Italy in Manhattan every Christmas Eve, and bounce from restaurant to restaurant - apps here, entrees there, espresso across the street, cannoli there, after dinner drinks. It's super sweet and romantic, in part because the neighborhood goes over the top with lights and decor

Other romantic gestures I've received in my life:

A hand drawn picture of a rose, given before I even knew he had feelings for me
Intense, emotional sex to good music (like Chris Cornell's cover of Nothing Compares 2 U)
Bought me a dress and shoes, told me to put them on and be ready at 8pm. Picked me up for a whirlwind night out
Took me to the top of the Empire State Building during Christmas
Made me dinner, and lit the entire apartment up in candles while Frank Sinatra was playing
A four page love letter made entirely of late 90s/early 00s R&B lyrics (guys, don't do this. It was a swing and a miss)

kandyapplez · 2019-03-12T19:31:13+00:00

my high school bf recreating that cue card scene from love actually as part of his promposal lol. i still smile about that randomly sometimes and have all the cards stashed away in my childhood bedroom

Title	Q4Women: what’s the most romantic thing a man has ever done for you?
Author	wokein
Upvotes	5
Comments	131
Date	March 12, 2019 5:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/b0atfr/q4women_whats_the_most_romantic_thing_a_man_has/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-whats-the-most-romantic-thing-a-man-has.256788 https://theredarchive.com/post/256788

Comments