Sex without connection = a need being met. Connection without sex = frustration

Ladyofblades · 2018-12-28T10:08:42+00:00

Sex is one of the top priorities for me in a relationship. That and physical contact are how I ground my intimacy, so it's not just a man thing. It keeps the relationship from flying apart if we somehow get out of sync emotionally, which does happen.

The_Frag_Man · 2018-12-28T11:20:06+00:00

I don't find sex without an emotional connection with my partner to be enjoyable or something desirable at all.

sublimemongrel · 2018-12-28T12:30:54+00:00

For me as a woman they are not typically separate like that. I don’t really want sex without a “connection.” And the “connection” makes sex a lot better.

I’m not really sure whether that is what you wanted to discuss or debate, but that’s how it is for me.

Workaholico · 2018-12-28T07:48:40+00:00

Okay, You are a man, whatabout it?

Crashlands · 2018-12-28T14:36:21+00:00

You know how I can tell all yo my TRPers are either virgins or get laid VERY infrequently? You prioritize sex so much. People who actually get laid don’t care about sex or talk about sex or prioritize sex nearly as much as you guys do.

GradualDecomp · 2018-12-28T16:44:49+00:00

In the context of a romantic relationship, sex is the priority for me. It's the most reliable indicator and communication method in a happy relationship.

That said, I've enjoyed "meaningless" sex plenty of times before. Sometimes you just need to get it in.

wtffellification · 2018-12-28T09:59:43+00:00

Sex without connection can more so be a symptom of frustration, rather than a cause for frustration

impuls1ve3 · 2018-12-28T15:11:31+00:00

Just fap lmao

statusincorporated · 2018-12-28T16:59:38+00:00

Empirically false.

Friendship/esteem/emotional connection meets a human need.

You could argue that under Maslow, sex is a more basic human need, but that's not the OP.

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-12-28T18:36:12+00:00

Sex without connection doesn't meet any needs I have that masturbation can't. Even casual sex can have a casual connection. Connection without sex in a romantic context is absolutely frustration to me though and I don't stay in relationships without a high degree of sexual compatibility.

oftheinfinite · 2018-12-28T18:48:19+00:00

Sex without emotional connection is very enjoyable for me. At the same time, sex with emotional connection is also enjoyable. However, I prefer sex without emotional connection.

whitetrasharmageddon · 2018-12-28T21:49:05+00:00

To me, connection doesn’t have to be romantic. It could be more like friendship. I find it pretty easy to care about and connect with people, and as a result I haven’t had sex with anyone I haven’t felt something of a connection with.

verticordia · 2018-12-29T00:53:07+00:00

Most women do not view sex as a need so it's kind of hard to empathize here.

MisterJose · 2018-12-29T10:15:05+00:00

This has been my experience as well. I wish I had known that would be my experience, but I made the mistake of buying into the idea of the superior value of platonic connection. And as you say, it's just frustrating. I didn't just want to sit there in our respective seats watching the movie of the night, I wanted her laying against me. I wanted to be able to kiss her on the cheek, and mess around with wandering hands. I say 'her', but there were several 'hers' that this happened with.

OTOH, just having fun sexy times with someone? Never any regrets about it. Good memories.

slavicgypsygirl · 2018-12-29T22:42:05+00:00

I only like dating so sex without mental & emotional connections is less pressure on me

Naebany · 2018-12-28T12:06:56+00:00

Yeah. Sex is more important than romance. But romance + sex is perfect.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-12-28T13:42:39+00:00

Sex is not the most important thing; it is a priority.

Uhhhh..........

bitter_samsara · 2018-12-28T08:45:04+00:00

What are we're supposed to discuss?

nemma88 · 2018-12-28T09:52:39+00:00

Congrats!

kandyapplez · 2018-12-28T18:13:13+00:00

i feel the same way. when i'm single, i pretty much just wanna get laid. i wouldn't call it a priority though since it still happens pretty easily for me. i just do it whenever i get the urge.

rainisthelife · 2018-12-28T19:39:24+00:00

Perfect example of male solipsism.

matrixpush · 2018-12-29T09:57:55+00:00

Well, it's a biological drive...even the BP guys who pretend to like feminism are hoping that translates into something.

LoathsomeThrow · 2018-12-28T07:57:43+00:00

So you're largely aromantic outside of sexual relationships. Or would asocial be a better word?

I'm sorry to hear, hope that works out for you.

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Title	Sex without connection = a need being met. Connection without sex = frustration
Author	hajimenothrowaway
Upvotes	57
Comments	134
Date	December 28, 2018 7:02 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/aa80km/sex_without_connection_a_need_being_met/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sex-without-connection-a-need-being-met-connection.258321 https://theredarchive.com/post/258321

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