• Note: this is excluding casual sex that ONLY involves penetration without any clitoral stimulation.

Many people say sex that involves love (relationship sex) is superior to meaningless sex, especially for women. This may be true psychologically, but physically, I strongly disagree.

During casual sex, you don't HAVE to care about his pleasure. You don't have to care about how you look or even about your hygiene, because why should you? It's not like you'll ever see him again. There's a certain comfort knowing you don't have to impress him. It allows you to take what you want without a care in the world about how selfish you may appear. If he thinks your body is gross or you smell bad, or you suck at sex, who tf cares? It's a one night thing. You're not going to have to hear him complain about it later or have it affect the relationship, because there is no relationship. There'll be no long term resentment if he doesn't enjoy the sex, so you're ALLOWED to be a "pillow princess" and put your needs first. This results in sex that feels amazing with nearly no effort on your part. He can finger you, rub your clit, and suck your boobs then bring you to orgasm and the sex is done. He might not get pleasure out of it, but again, no one cares because his pleasure isn't important.

On the other hand...

Relationship sex is a chore. There I said it. Relationship sex is a chore that inspires the same dread as washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, or vacuuming. It's something you HAVE to do to fulfill your responsibilities. You feel obligated to have sex because he did something nice for you: he paid for the date, he bought you something, he's emotionally invested in you, etc. You don't want him to feel unloved or unappreciated, so you have to just grit your teeth and do your best to make him cum. You want to put his needs first and focus on pleasing him, because what kind of a girlfriend is a selfish one? You want to break your back making him happy because you love him.

Riding a guy is one of the worst chores in the world; your quads are killing you, you're out of breath and completely exhausted, you're just begging him to cum inside you while your mind wanders off to your student debt or the latest bojack horseman episode so you can just get it over with. In some cases you even dissociate/space out because of how little you're interested in the sex. It's like exercising. I equate it to cross country running or running the mile. It's one of the worst, most unpleasant, tiring activities in the world, but it's good for your health and ends up in a good result. You HAVE to do it, do it for him to make him happy, to impress him, to make him feel like a man, to reward his good behavior, and so on and so forth. If you don't, he'll complain about how miserable the lack of good sex makes him and he'll be unhappy in the relationship. Bleh. Plus you're far more self conscious because you simply care about him. You want him to think you're an attractive woman who's talented at sex, who's not selfish and who can make him feel great. You wouldn't want your boyfriend to think your body is gross or your boobs are saggy so you feel more restricted in your movements and ability to enjoy the sex. You care about his thoughts and opinions while you couldn't care less about what your ONS thinks.

You simply feel more freedom and relaxation with an ONS. You can let your hair down, you can take your shirt off, and let yourself do everything you wanted to do. You don't have to put your best foot forward and you don't have to think about how he'll feel long term, which means less stress and more enjoyment overall.

However, masturbation is better in every single way compared to both ONS and relationship sex. You can bring yourself to orgasm by rubbing your clit, penetrate if you want to or not, feel ZERO insecurity and do whatever you want just how you like it.