Would you be upset if going into a marriage your SO asked you to sign a prenuptial agreement agreement to protect both of you?

ElderSign · 2018-02-11T15:39:35+00:00

Depends on the contents of the pre-nup. For existing debt, assets acquired before marriage, potential inheritance, setting up for children (together and separately), stuff like that? Totally fine and understood. For other assets acquired during the marriage? I probably wouldn't be too upset but I would not marry him; that's a relationship of convenience, not an union.

V_GMan · 2018-02-11T14:46:22+00:00

No. You'd be delusional if you think every relationship is soul-bound to last forever, as bad as we would want that to be true.

16F33 · 2018-02-11T15:49:52+00:00

No, if anything I'd insist on it because it's the smart thing to do.

In the event of a divorce both parties probably gain more from an agreement made in good faith than from a spiteful fight over possessions. And if the marriage does last the prenup doesn't matter because you share your things (within reasonable limit) anyways.

KikiYuyu · 2018-02-11T16:15:45+00:00

I'd have mixed feelings. Emotionally I'd feel upset, but logically I'd know it's a smart move.

Electra_Cute · 2018-02-11T14:27:11+00:00

theambivalentrooster · 2018-02-11T15:58:31+00:00

I would have been confused because we both had more debt than assets going into the marriage but as a team we’ve turned the ship around and are well into the green.

Hurray DINKhood!

sublimemongrel · 2018-02-11T16:27:05+00:00

I’d do it. I might be a tad upset but I understand that it’s practical.

[deleted] · 2018-02-11T15:56:48+00:00

Hmm, sounds like this chick has some money. Of course I'll sign it.

DebatePony · 2018-02-11T15:01:41+00:00

Protect both of us from what? Would we both have separate lawyers to look at it and make sure it's okay?

TheChemist158 · 2018-02-11T16:30:55+00:00

I actually am currently engaged and hadn't really thought about it. I'm not even sure what ours would say, but given the terms are reasonable I wouldn't be opposed.

EDIT: I found an online example here. Yeah, I'd be on board with signing that. It pretty much his shit is his, and my shit is mine. If we divorce I don't get anything form assets solely in his name, I don't get any of his pension, I don't get alimony. Same with him, which I think might be more relevant since he wants to soft retire at 35. I want our finances to be seperate, I feel better that way and that is our current agreement. The only complaint would be getting a lawyer. They cost money and if I am understanding things correctly, we would need two of them.

16F33 · 2018-02-11T17:09:23+00:00

Of course not. There's plenty of other women out there who would trust me.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-02-11T17:46:26+00:00

i wouldnt be upset.........No.

-AveMaria- · 2018-02-11T19:23:14+00:00

Don't believe in divorce. Don't believe in prenup. So if he asks I'll kick him.

But marriage for me is a lot more serious than it is for most.

L0git3x · 2018-02-11T20:54:33+00:00

27 years ago I was cautious enough with who I married.

I didnt need one. still dont.

If you need a prenuptial agreement you probably shouldn't get married.

civiestudent · 2018-02-11T22:35:40+00:00

I wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to plan for an eventuality like this. It's like life insurance - people avoid it because they don't want to think about needing it. Then your spouse dies and leaves you with young kids, and you could've used that financial padding to fall back on. Pre-nups can prevent costly divorce battles and encourage partners to be honest about their finances and desires, so...no, I wouldn't get upset. I'd suggest it myself.

crumblesnatch · 2018-02-11T16:46:39+00:00

Considering I made more money than him at the time of our marriage, and was sponsoring his continued presence in the country, it would have been an interesting contract to write. What non-existent assets would we be protecting?

That said, if all things were the same except he was incredibly wealthy when we met, I'd sign an agreement.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-02-11T21:18:33+00:00

Of course not. I'd want to know that we'd be together for each other, and not what we have or are capable of obtaining.

Zeusthemighty6669 · 2018-02-12T02:10:43+00:00

No because I'm not a woman so I'm not getting married for money

16F33 · 2018-02-11T14:27:58+00:00

Nope, I signed it

RockinSocksII · 2018-02-11T15:34:15+00:00

Nope. Unfortunate for him though because I make way more money.

[deleted] · 2018-02-11T16:28:22+00:00

mgtow_1 · 2018-02-11T16:33:47+00:00

If I was thinking about marriage to a woman then she would have to be at a similar economic level to myself and I would be 100% on board for a prenup.

nemma88 · 2018-02-11T17:02:07+00:00

My current situation yes because something would have changed and I'd be feeling guarded as to what.

In general though, or it had been that way from the start, no. Prenuptials are good for the party without assets too, in majority of circumstances non owner is going to be contributing to those within the relationship (let's face it we are talking about businesses and houses here). Those non owners protect themselves by way of ownership or monitary too incase of relationship breakdown. Prenup marriage is a lot more protection still than cohabiting and paying off someones house for them to screw you by leaving with zilch to show at the end.

Orange_Paisley · 2018-02-11T17:29:35+00:00

Since I make a lot more money than he does and am the one with the pension and 401K, I would be happy to sign a prenup that protects my assets. We aren’t planning to get married though.

[deleted] · 2018-02-11T17:41:13+00:00

LeaneGenova · 2018-02-11T18:05:28+00:00

Nope. I'm a large proponent of a pre-nup for my marriage. I make about 800% (or maybe 900, I haven't done the math), and I know how I get when I am vengeful. I'd rather protect my SO against my asshole nature by putting into effect a pre-nup than leaving him high and dry.

Granted, I have zero fear of us breaking up. But still. It's safer to prepare for the worst while we love each other than leave it until I want to smush his face.

16F33 · 2018-02-11T18:06:10+00:00

Agreed, once that part of the business transaction is behind you can you can actually concentrate on loving each other

[deleted] · 2018-02-11T19:57:47+00:00

No, I wouldn't be upset at all.

shoup88 · 2018-02-11T20:29:10+00:00

I would get my lawyer to review it and make sure it's actually good for both of us, and not just him. Providing it's a fairly standard agreement, I'd have no problem signing it. I wouldn't push for it myself as he has more money than I do (and so does his family).

It wouldn't have any emotional effect on me.

LifterofThings · 2018-02-11T21:36:37+00:00

No, so long as it were reasonable. In the current legal climate, I totally understand the appeal of a prenup.

damaskrose · 2018-02-11T22:40:51+00:00

I don't believe in divorce and wouldn't marry someone who views divorce as an option. I wouldn't necessarily be upset, but I wouldn't sign it.

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-02-12T00:01:39+00:00

No, as long as it’s fair. In general people who get offended about prenups confuse me.

buartha · 2018-02-12T00:39:15+00:00

It wouldn't bother me, but I see why it would bother people with a certain romantic outlook or those who are religious.

carefreevermillion · 2018-02-12T00:58:40+00:00

I've actually tried to get my boyfriend to consider a pre-nup before we get married because he has some assets and he was the one that got offended.

ABC_Florida · 2018-02-12T09:39:37+00:00

I will never marry. I've seen enough divorces in my family. Not worth it. Both parties consider the state of marriage as achieving a goal. That's BS. No relationship lives on its own. You have to work to keep it alive.

Also, there have been many ridiculous demands during divorces. Homemaker who never had to work a job, lives in a three floor suburban house, got new cars from hubby, got brand new businesses handed over by her husband when she wanted to occupy herself, went to hairdresser once a week, twice had her nails done a week; wanted nearly 2 M$ in divorce, new cars of her liking every 5 years, gas for the car, get her utility bills also payed. All the wile her contribution to the marriage was giving birth to 2 children (not that they aren't her children too), making food (she's a terrific cook BTW), and sometimes cleaning the house while they had no cleaning lady. When her husband separated, she wasn't even willing to mow her own lawn. She demanded a worker to be sent over for 1.5 hours (tops) work. This half of you make belongs to me only sounds great if you are not the one sweating for the wealth you create.

NoodlersNightshade · 2018-02-12T17:22:13+00:00

It would really depend. Don't ask me to sign a prenup and then tell me I have to do all the housework, stay home, raise children, etc so you can go out and earn money I can't have access to if we divorce.

A prenup with a financially less stable wife means you're basically using her as an employee to take care of your chores while you grow your wealth and have no intention of sharing it. Even though you would have less if she wasn't around to do your work for you at home.

Now if you have a prenup and household staff to do those chores so she can go out and maximize her own opportunities for increasing wealth (and not share them with you because of the prenup) go ahead. Most rich people have prenups but then most rich couples both work at their own careers.

A prenup is fine. A prenup you're using to indenture your wife as a servant so you can earn more money that you don't have to share is a shitty situation and it doesn't protect her at all if she has no opportunities to go out and earn her own wealth.

eliechallita · 2018-02-12T21:59:18+00:00

I brought that one up with my fiancee a little while ago because we're getting married in August since we have a disparity in income and assets: I work in tech while she's in public health, so my income is guaranteed to be and remain larger than hers. On the other hand, her family is much wealthier than mine so she's likely to get much more from them later on.

I have about 15K left in debts from grad school, but I'm easily on track to repay those with my current income, and she doesn't have any debt to speak of. I have a nice bunch of stocks from work, whereas she has larger savings.

We eventually decided not to do it now, because we simply don't have a large enough disparity overall to make it useful. We can always go for a postnup later on.

adrixshadow · 2018-02-13T20:19:50+00:00

You are saying that like I wouldn't bring it myself.

If we are both on the same page it saves time from the whole "But you don't trust me!" bullshit.

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despisedlove2 · 2018-02-11T19:15:30+00:00

16F33 · 2018-02-11T19:24:32+00:00

Divorce isn’t always up to you as compared to marriage requires both to agree.

16F33 · 2018-02-11T22:38:10+00:00

Those are perfect reasons.

16F33 · 2018-02-11T23:12:05+00:00

No, I wouldn't be upset, it would be preferable. What's mine is mine and what's hers is hers, and if we decide to separate, we get what is ours back.

Title	Would you be upset if going into a marriage your SO asked you to sign a prenuptial agreement agreement to protect both of you?
Author	16F33
Upvotes	12
Comments	184
Date	February 11, 2018 2:25 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7wt1g8/would_you_be_upset_if_going_into_a_marriage_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-be-upset-if-going-into-a-marriage-your.263642 https://theredarchive.com/post/263642

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