Q4women. Would you exchange fidelity for a higher smv male

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-10-05T16:52:42+00:00

Guy A. i have few requirements in a mate. he doesnt even need to have a job. be cute, masculine, protective, great in bed, at least promise and pretend to be faithful and say "i love you" a lot and ill do the rest with joy

i would have NEVER ever openly and honestly shared a man in my prime, though i had quite a few bfs who covertly cheated on, me like men used to before the earnest millenials brought all the icky honesty into relationships. why would i have? all my BFs were cute/hot to me and if i broke up with one, another one was coming down the pike soon, no man is worth an "open marriage", i dont need money

there is some projection of a scarcity mentality here.

sublimemongrel · 2016-10-05T17:06:23+00:00

Fuck no. Guy A all the way. Objective SMV isn't all that important to my sexual attraction anyway. "Hottest man alive" isn't as sexually attractive to me as my husband, objective SMV really isn't the end all be all.

At what point does a higher smv in a man become a good trade off for less fidelity?

Never, really, I suppose the only way I could imagine have to deal with this trade off would be if there were zero guy A's I was attracted to and I was only attracted to guy B's. Fortunately that's never been the case.

AliceOxalis · 2016-10-10T22:23:03+00:00

I would rather be single than be with a cheater. So I'll take the committed guy. However I'd rather be single than be with a <7 SMV man. So if he's too low SMV, forget him too.

DemonConsulting · 2016-10-05T19:35:15+00:00

I don't share - if guy A passed the threshold of attractiveness required for me to find him desirable and fulfills my other standards for a relationship then I can devote myself to him 100% and ignore guy B, regardless of how much objectively more attractive guy B is. It's a conscious choice and loyalty in my romantic relationship/ marriage is the one principle I won't budge on.

If I had no choice but to go with guy B, he'd be busy finding new mistresses cause the old ones would keep disappearing ... not saying I'd roofie them and sell them to the Eastern European Mafia but they wouldn't come back any time soon

lady_baker · 2016-10-05T16:53:44+00:00

My first instinct is to say No Way!! Guy A 4evar!! Because I am possessive, and very much value fidelity.

But there is a point at which that would shift. If Guy B was a 9 in looks and resources and could greatly enrich our lives and launch our kids' lives, AND could be very discreet... well, no mistresses. ONS type stuff only that take nothing in romance or resources from our family. So I wouldn't be part of a harem for any money, but I admit total monogamy could be sacrificed.

It is just that Guy B doesn't exist for me. A 9 for me wouldn't commit to any extent, not without some wild luck. And there would be real pain involved, knowing what he was doing. So realistically, we end up back at Guy A.

cuittler · 2016-10-05T19:23:24+00:00

There are few things worth less than an unfaithful partner. It shows a lack of both moral character and concern for their partner's well-being. And honestly, I'm possessive AF. If I'm not enough for my SO, then he's not enough for me.

Plenty of fish, and I'd rather die alone with my cats than waste my life on someone like that.

[deleted] · Wed Oct 5 16:49:35 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

shoup88 · 2016-10-05T16:59:41+00:00

His SMV doesn't matter to me as much as whether or not I'm personally attracted to him. One lady's 6 could easily be my 8. The specific things I find attractive - hairy, big nose, large mouth - could be dealbreakers for some women. As far as resources ago, as long as he makes enough money to support himself and keep up with my current lifestyle, I'm happy.

The parameters of the "infidelity" would also make a difference. If we're talking a monogamish relationship with carefully chosen rules we both abide by, then that's perfect! If we're talking a guy who lies to my face, cheats on me while I'm expected to wait at home for him, then fuck that. Don't care how hot he is.

I'm assuming you mean the latter when you talk about infidelity, so in that case, I would prefer A - as long as I'm attracted to him. If I'm not attracted to guy A, I choose neither.

sublimemongrel · 2016-10-05T16:35:30+00:00

There is no amount of SMV that could compensate for infidelity, as far as I'm concerned. I don't need any man's resources or power or status; I'm perfectly capable of acquiring all those things through my own effort. (And have done so.)

Mr. Arthur is higher SMV than 99% of the men in our area, and does not cheat on me. Why would I pick one or the other, when I can have both?

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T16:56:08+00:00

there's no trade-off for me; i don't share. i devote myself entirely; i expect the same in return. mere 'hotness' is not going to suddenly change that. so, guy A.

besides, what's hottest to me may or may not be what's considered objectively hot, so...

GridReXX · 2016-10-05T17:30:10+00:00

I can work an arrangement if he's bankrolling luxuries I desire.

Edit

If SMV only relates to his sexual appeal, then no.

There are enough men I actually find sexually appealing who are willing to commit. I don't need to sacrifice monogamy for that.

TW_CountryMusic · 2016-10-05T17:18:55+00:00

Guy A, no contest.

For one thing, as I'm discussing in another thread right now, objectively "high SMV" guys by and large do nothing for me. I'm much more likely to get the "tingles" for an average guy.

And also, no matter how attractive a guy is, if I know he's fucking other women that attraction is going to plummet. Just like RPers are viscerally disgusted by sluts and fatties, I'm viscerally disgusted by infidelity. I couldn't respect a man who cheated, and as such, I couldn't be attracted to him.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-10-05T18:51:37+00:00

I do NOT like hot guys

If you want a good life
Make an ugly man your wife

"Hot" men cheat too much. Plus, they're douchebags

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T20:06:43+00:00

Guy B for sure so long as I could also have people on the side. 10 in looks, 6 in resources only. I wouldn't even date a guy who is only 6 in looks.

damaskrose · 2016-10-05T23:45:05+00:00

Nah. But I don't see why I should have to choose just 1. I've got my husband's fidelity and his high (in my opinion) SMV.

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T17:08:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

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[deleted] · 2016-10-05T17:00:13+00:00

Yes but only for a short period of time and it would impact the amount of investment he received from me. In my single days I knew boys who would immediately become exclusive but I chose to date my husband who was offering non-exclusive dating status. I knew it wasn't forever though and, again, was on guard about my personal investment.

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T20:04:28+00:00

A male that is very loyal and committed only to you. Guy A

A guy that is loyal and committed, but not as much. Also he wants an open relationship, he wants mistresses on the side. Guy B

You never said if the "open marriage" would go both ways. To answer your question, when I was younger, definitely Guy A. Now that I'm older, well off financially, with a sick husband, open marriages make a lot more sense. :)

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-10-05T20:15:01+00:00

Guy A. I am not comfortable with open relationships as they have never worked for me personally in the past. I want to be able to fully trust my partner. I don't care if Guy B is the hottest man ever, I would not date him. I don't care if Guy B is the richest and hottest man ever. I would not date him.

Trust is more important to me than looks or money in a long term relationship.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-05T20:18:57+00:00

I'd take Guy B, but not because of his higher SMV. I'd choose him regardless of SMV because I will not ever have to worry about him proposing to me.

rulenumber303 · 2016-10-06T01:12:22+00:00

No. I have a policy of removing myself from situations that give me intrusive homicidal thoughts.

[deleted] · 2016-10-06T02:00:31+00:00

I'm not wasting time with anyone below a 7 in looks. I don't care about social status, so long as he's sexy.

I would only accept an open relationship if it were open on both sides, and my partner agreed to do only one night stands on nights when I'm busy anyway, and to always lie about what he's doing. The guy would have to seriously be worth it and be 100% romantically loyal to me.

JuniperSunshine · 2016-10-06T17:21:53+00:00

Guy A.

I actually dated a guy somewhat like guy B for a while. He was abusive eventually, along with the abusive nature of constant cheating. Funny thing - he wasn't as hot as my husband - a.k.a., my Guy A. But he was confident, alpha, all that jazz.

There is no trade off for me. I am 100% loyal and I expect the same. My husband's morals are rock solid and I consider that an integral part of being a good man.

Five_Decades · 2016-10-05T16:49:28+00:00

Meaning unloyal guy b is hotter than loyal guy a?

Guy A. No contest. Why would this even be a question for most relationship minded women?

Sandralees · 2016-10-05T16:45:46+00:00

SMV has no meaning for me. I make my own money and insist on paying half the costs of the household even when/if my salary is lower than his. I don't want to have anything to do with a cheater or someone who thinks I am not enough. I'd rather be by myself if he is not up to my expectations. So he'll have to go no matter what his SMV is supposed to be.

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T18:47:18+00:00

If I could get out of working for life by divorcing guy B then yeah, I would take that deal so long as I managed to get out of by 30.

[deleted] · 2016-10-05T21:56:27+00:00

Dude, without tingles and emotional investment, the only answers you will get are virtue signalling and social status preaching.

Want a real answer? Find a married lady with a husband who is t as hot as you

Five_Decades · 2016-10-06T00:43:44+00:00

Strange how there is no shortage of hot women willing to sleep with, marry, and have babies ($$) with athletes or other celebrities who are known to get around.

It's almost like there is an alternate reality where this stuff doesn't happen. And the women here inhabit that alternate universe and are reporting from it.

What they say simply doesn't match up to reality.

Am I the only person noticing this?

[deleted] · 2016-10-06T02:21:19+00:00

I'll take the high SMV guy, but I want to see other men too. We can plate each other. I'd prefer this because I need a lot of alone time and fidelity and resources aren't my requirements (I'm marriage and child free).

[deleted] · 2016-10-06T02:57:57+00:00

I don't share my toys. Man A. would be my only choice for a committed relationship.

Meh to resources. With Man B. I could have a sprawling estate with six pools and servants and personal chefs. But when I want to sit and snuggle or have afternoon sex by one of our pools, and he's off bonking some other woman? I could not get my head around that. I wouldn't want him when he comes back from bonking the other woman either.

Sounds like a lonely life. All the gold but nothing real to touch. Just like King Midas.

Man B. would be ok only for a FWB, never for a committed relationship. if I was open to open relationships, I'd choose guy B.

anitapk · 2016-10-06T07:24:51+00:00

If I were poor to the point of starving I'd go for guy B as long as he uses condom every time and helps me economically get back on my feet and makes up for cheating with money.

No other situation I'd go for it if not in a controlled environment.

haikufun · 2016-10-06T10:27:51+00:00

No to the topic header

Title	Q4women. Would you exchange fidelity for a higher smv male
Author	Five_Decades
Upvotes	9
Comments	184
Date	October 5, 2016 4:31 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/560cu0/q4women_would_you_exchange_fidelity_for_a_higher/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-would-you-exchange-fidelity-for-a-higher.272581 https://theredarchive.com/post/272581

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