[Q4BP] Those of you who say that being [nice] / [a decent human] is not an advantage, but just a baseline expectation, what do you think of this fact?

hyperrreal · 2016-07-05T15:10:36+00:00

I do think many women are attracted to aggressive, low-inhibition men. But these guys get laid so much for 2 main reasons:

They actually try to get laid.
They are often in social circles with other low-inhibition people, so it's easier to get laid.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T15:29:18+00:00

Five consistently find that high levels of disagreeableness predict high sexual success in both men and women.

Define success. Does more sexual partners = success?

If that's the case why go for attractive women who are harder to impress? Why not go for every fat, old, crazy as a liability women you cross paths with? Why not cat call every female human on the same subway platform?

Also "soft prostitution" is pretty common in the communities that produce gang members and general criminality. Especially when drugs are involved.

Wowbaggerrr · 2016-07-05T15:31:47+00:00

This seems a little extreme. The type of person that this study is describing sounds unstable: criminal activity, has weapons, gang member... It doesn't surprise me that "fucks lots of bitches" would be on that checklist as well. So, if you want to join a gang and have lots of trashy women, sure, this "don't be nice" strategy could work. It will probably also ruin your life.

If you want a more normal life, I'd recommend being a decent human being and finding some other way besides committing crime to make yourself sexually attractive.

exit_sandman · 2016-07-05T18:32:23+00:00

Once again, RP is reading the data wrong.

These guys aren't getting laid because they're "assholes" (the opposite of Nice Guys), they are getting laid because they have less fear than these RP betas do. The fact that they are not nice is incidental.

How many of these "Nice Guys" get into physical fights? With weapons? Or join a gang?

These "assholes" don't give a fuck if they get rejected at a bar by some woman. Do you think they go home and cry about it on the Internet? Or complain about their paralyzing social phobias or all the things they are intimidated by?

No.

But beyond that, it's also possible to be good with women AND STILL BE A NICE GUY. Confidence and fearlessness is what men who are successful with women have, being a nice guy or not is absolutely not the key variable here.

sublimemongrel · 2016-07-05T15:38:46+00:00

There's a whole lot of things you are overlooking here. First, where are you getting that drinking and not attending church automatically equates to not being a nice and/or decent human being? I don't see how that is a correlation you can necessarily make.

Second, when you're talking about gang members and those likely to use weapons in a fight, etc., you're talking about a very specific subset of our culture, likely of lower socioeconomic means/class. I have no doubt those guys can and do get laid. They are the "alpha males" among that subculture. But they may also come from a culture where people start having sex earlier, more frequently, with multiple partners and less relationships (this is my assumption, I could be wrong). It doesn't mean they are having sex with high quality partners. Also would anyone here honestly choose to become such a person to get laid more?

And third, it makes complete sense that if you're a highly religious person you're more likely to be a virgin. Your social group is going to be less into casual sex or sex before marriage.

Finally, if your point is it's better to be an asshole to get laid than to be a nice and/or decent human being, I have no doubt this is true for some subset of women. It's not true for all women and it's ultimately a personal decision you have to make for yourself. If your sexual strategy is to be a jerk, go for it. But don't expect us to pat you on the back for it.

Being a selfish asshole may get you some short term advantages in various aspects of life, I doubt anyone would disagree with that. But that doesn't mean choosing to not be a selfish asshole gets you nowhere, won't make you happier in the long-term, and is virtually worthless.

ramen_deluxe · 2016-07-05T16:36:35+00:00

So people who are willing to take more risks have more sex? I wonder why that would be the case ...

And then there is the group of people who are willing to take risks, but not all that ready to take risks and they may be nice too, but who knows?

[deleted] · 2016-07-05T17:28:00+00:00

Correlation does not always imply causation. It is entirely plausible that traits like confidence and courage (which are attractive) are more found in people that are generally less nice, and that these traits cause the bigger number of partners.

Another example: Americans are far more likely to die in car crashes than Ethiopians. Is that because Americans can drive much better? No, it's because much less Ethiopians have a car. Again, there is correlation, but not causation. Being an Ethiopian doesn't mean you are a worse driver.

BiggerDthanYou · 2016-07-05T17:46:29+00:00

I've got a few issues with this.

First how does this even matter in the context of TRP?

The women these guys are sleeping with aren't regular women. They are walking red flags that probably have used weapons in their countless fights themselves and took more drugs than I could even name.

Yeah I know TRP will claim that all women are literally clones of each other, but they actually come in different variations and from hanging out with dangerous guys and drug dealers I can tell that they are literally the crazy from "don't stick your dick in crazy"

Secondly what a boring nerd does one have to be to think that drinking alcohol, not going to church and having a criminal history are a good way to judge the character of someone.

I'm a very nice guy. People always tell me how much they like how nice I am.

But I drink alcohol, never go to church, have used weapons in fights myself (of course I'm going to throw a chair and some bottles and run away of three people want to jump me) and have close contact to gangs.

The thing is that in certain circumstances you simply have to be friends with our join a gang or otherwise you are without any protection and could get robbed and beaten any time. It's just the logical choice if you want to be safe and if you want your family to be safe.

Thirdly, well how are virgins supposed to work up the courage to talk to women if they don't drink alcohol and how are men that regularly get laid supposed to go to church if they are partying each weekend until church is over.

high levels of disagreeableness predict high sexual success in both men and women

That's his subjective disagreeableness.

I personally don't like people that go to church and people that never take drugs because they are boring cunts.

PoopInMyBottom · 2016-07-05T17:06:31+00:00

The idea that criminals are having more sex because they are more attractive is a jump in logic. It conflicts with evidence that women find smarter men more attractive, and also that most women on average find white men more attractive.

I think these explanations are much more likely:

Men who are criminals are just more likely to be in the kind of social circles where women with low inhibitions hang out.
Men who are criminals are more often in situations with women who are drunk.

I also think nice people are generally more afraid to do things that might offend someone, so they're less likely to risk making a girl feel unpleasant by hitting on her. That, and people who are nice are often nice because they are weak, and the latter is the unnattractive trait.

[deleted] · 2016-07-05T17:17:30+00:00

Your reasoning depends upon the assumption that number of partners = quality of sex life. But if you're a violent junkie and you have sex with two meth addicted crackheads everyday, I wouldn't call that a good sex life.
Sexual succes is not an objective measure. I think most people would rather have less sexual partners who are actually better. Besides, if I have sex every day for the rest of my life with only my girlfriend, this study would rate me very low because I have a low number of partners. But if you have sex ten times in your life with different partners you'd get rated quite high. So study isn't really indicative of quality of sex life imo

lollygagyo · 2016-07-05T14:25:06+00:00

Unstable people are slaves for punishment and there are a lot of unstable people out in the world.

I am not the nicest woman. I try hard. I try not to let my commitment issues make me a dick to people, but sometimes...I'm a dick to people because of my baggage. I'm really successful with men/some men are slaves to this kind of torture. They're generally people with self esteem issues and as I've gotten older, I've learned to avoid them in favour of more secure partners.

Also, lol at those measures of not being nice. The prison one stands but really -- drinks alcohol? Doesn't attend church? Wtf.

czerdec · 2016-07-05T15:18:46+00:00

[deleted]

miss-xaviette · 2016-07-05T17:06:10+00:00

Men in gangs are more likely to be around lower income women, women who drink more and those with a drug habit etc. These women may see a 'strong' man as a form of protection or use sex as way to support their habit. On the whole I'd suggest they tend to be 'easier' than the kind of woman you'd meet at the local church. A lot of it is about social circles. Drug dealers in my experience will often have young women/girls hanging around them who use it to score free drugs.

rulenumber303 · 2016-07-05T18:24:17+00:00

Well yes there are some women who are attracted to criminal men. Those women tend to have very high counts themselves, and on some level enjoy the drama, fights and violence that result from the process of racking up a high count by fucking violent men. It is a niche culture. Go off and be part of it if you want, I doubt most terpers would do well in it, you see that culture tends to work around the premise that if a dog is going to give a hiding then he's also going to have to be able to take a hiding too. So if you aren't up to defending yourself when some other hardarse beats you for fucking his girlfriend and that kinda bullshit being an almost daily thing then that subculture will chew you up and spit you out.

Meanwhile the rest of us tend to do things like excuse ourselves to the bathroom and never return if our date is an asshole.

GoldPisseR · 2016-07-05T18:57:35+00:00

Niceness maybe a necessity for a healthy ltr, definitely not for sex.

Before she finds you completely unsuitable for marriage you'd already have fucked her for months atleast.

GridReXX · 2016-07-05T16:12:07+00:00

[removed]

bromance946 · 2016-07-05T15:21:52+00:00

That doesn't change the fact that being a decent person is just a baseline expectation. No one gets a cookie for not having a criminal history, going to church, or not being an alcoholic. That being said, the expectation is platonic. It applies in general, not to sexual attraction. Hence once again, one group of people is speaking in platonic terms and the other is speaking in erotic terms.

In erotic terms, sure, being a criminal can be an advantage, but it's not guaranteed.

[deleted] · 2016-07-05T22:43:47+00:00

Every girl likes something different, but nearly all girls are most attracted to guys that are handsome, confident and aggressive. Now, whether they are in gangs or have criminal history doesn't say much about their physical attractiveness, it does say a lot about their attitude. These men are aggressive and confident. They are more likely to approach, more likely to be involved in aggressive, masculine hobbies like sports - and as a result are more likely to be fit. Hence they are more likely to get laid. This isn't really surprising. But it doesn't say that being nice will mean you can't get laid.

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2016-07-05T23:19:47+00:00

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jonascf · 2016-07-05T17:57:48+00:00

It's still a baseline expectation, wether it gets you laid more or not.

Title	[Q4BP] Those of you who say that being [nice] / [a decent human] is not an advantage, but just a baseline expectation, what do you think of this fact?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	220
Date	July 5, 2016 2:21 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4rcwc5/q4bp_those_of_you_who_say_that_being_nice_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-those-of-you-who-say-that-being-nice-a-decent.274157 https://theredarchive.com/post/274157

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