Women, do you actually like when your man flirts with another woman?

lady_baker · 2016-05-20T20:54:10+00:00

Openly flirting, no. Women approaching and him being charming and charamastic? It is a mixed bag.

But we aren't meant to like it. We are meant to realize that we don't have him in our back pocket, and he does have options.

There is such a thing as being gauche and embarrassing himself, which may be what the OP's ex was doing.

GridReXX · 2016-05-20T20:39:03+00:00

Women, do you actually like when your man flirts with another woman?

No. Not at all.

I do silently enjoy when other people think my SO is attractive.

As far as dread goes.

Actively flirting with other people is disrespectful.

Your SO knowing that other people find you attractive... well that's out of your control. That's just a natural consequence of being attractive. ;)

sublimemongrel · 2016-05-20T23:21:06+00:00

No, I would find it completely disrespectful. It would only make me feel angry and insecure, not horny, not like I want to please him more, not like I want to keep him more. Angry and insecure. Neither of which inspire a healthy relationship with anyone.

cxj · 2016-05-20T22:54:52+00:00

Nope, preselection is nonsense to me. Any sign of disrespect from a boyfriend is a break up. I have abundance mentality like Red Pill tells men to have. Flirting in a relationship is a no for me.

shoup88 · 2016-05-20T20:28:53+00:00

I think it's hot when other women flirt with him, but it's a turn off when he reciprocates. I like when other women hit on him and he's completely oblivious.

Once he flirts back, it's disrespectful and loses its charm. It's also out of his character, so if he started out of nowhere, we'd have a real problem.

nomdplume · 2016-05-20T23:49:50+00:00

Do you like when your man flirts with another woman?

No. Furthermore, he doesn't flirt with other women. That said, he does still get attention from them, simply by being himself. Seeing other women notice my SO, and try to get his attention is a nice reminder that he's attractive/charismatic, it's also a bit maddening, but mostly amusing. The women tend to think they're being sneaky, or sly, and because I don't bristle or alter my behavior (if I happen to be present) I'm sure they think they're 'getting away' with something. The best part is generally later on (when we're alone) and he'll make a remark about the clown face (too much makeup) with the screeching voice that wouldn't stop flapping her mouth.

If he were to go out of his way to try and 'chat up' a woman around me, I would be instantly put off. We don't play games, and he doesn't have to resort to petty tactics in order to maintain my attention (or spark my attraction).

I can see why this tactic could work on non-exclusive dynamics (ie with plates) if done well. When women approach your man without invitation or encouragement that can be attractive (people being drawn to him just by virtue of his presence/personality). If he has to go out and 'fish' for that attention, the effect is almost entirely nullified.

penguin_party24 · 2016-05-20T20:40:31+00:00

I would be absolutely disgusted with anyone who intentionally used manipulation to try to lower my self esteem for any reason, especially if it was some sort of ploy to try get me to feel insecure so I will seek seek validation from them. What kind of narcissistic psychopath treats people that way. I don't image this tactic ever working on any sane, self respecting person.

LordLeesa · 2016-05-21T01:36:27+00:00

Ew, no. It's one of the biggest turn-offs of all time.

funchy · 2016-05-21T01:57:51+00:00

No. It's inappropriate and disrespectful. I'd kick him to the curb if a boyfriend acted that way.

Any man telling another man this is either trying to trick the boyfriend into failure. Or the advice giver is one of those super manipulative types who tries to play mind games with everyone, and he thinks he's doing other men a favor to teach them his bad habits.

haikufun · 2016-05-20T21:00:26+00:00

No. Agreed that I would just drop that guy.

It almost seems like older guys giving this advice are trying to mess up younger guy's chances with women, like they want them to fail.

I'm assuming that trp isn't a purposefully misleading conspiracy because their converts are people who already aren't successes with dating. Misleading them takes more energy than saying nothing.

damaskrose · 2016-05-20T20:27:23+00:00

[deleted]

OneTwoWee000 · 2016-05-20T20:16:17+00:00

My SO doesn't flirt with other women. If he did, heck no I wouldn't like it! I would feel disrespected because he knows how I feel. I'm into any "free love" or showing interest in others kind of games.

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-05-20T21:05:15+00:00

No, I don't. At least anything outside of our pre-agreed upon semi-open relationship dynamic, which is what I'm assuming this is referring to: strangers.

When I was younger (talking high school), it would have still upset me but would have probably also made me jealous enough to try harder to keep him or whatever. After I got older that would be an instant next.

darksoldierk · 2016-05-20T22:00:00+00:00

I always thought that TRP says that your women will be jealous if she sees that other women want you. I don't remember reading anything about them telling you to flirt with other women. It's about being desirable and attractive even after getting married or committing. Let me ask you something, what if your ex just naturally got female attention? He didn't seek it, and never gave you any reason or sign to believe or even suspect that he flirted with women or anything, but every once in a while, you'd see a girl flirt with him. That's not his fault, he's not flirting, he's just attractive. You'll say "I wouldn't give a shit", but in reality, you would act different then when he didn't get female attention.

I've seen what this does to women. It keeps women on their toes. It makes them realise that their man has options, and if he chooses to break up with her, then he can find someone else without even trying. So the women try to stay in shape, and make more of an attempt to keep their man happy.

hakosua · 2016-05-20T22:09:51+00:00

Whether we like it when men do this is unrelated to its effectiveness as a strategy for increasing sexual compliance. (As an aside, does anyone else cringe at the term "sexual compliance"? I couldn't think of a better way to describe the desired outcome.)

With that said, there can be something fun about dating guys who aren't too hyper-focused on protecting me from jealousy. Even in an ostensibly monogamous relationship, it's nice to be able to discuss other women's bodies. I suspect I'm in the minority with this as a bisexual female. I just remember that I enjoyed bonding with my exes regarding who we thought was hot, even if we weren't planning to invite a third to bed.

My current boyfriend is an absolute gentleman to the point where he won't notice the girls I'm checking out. His considerate nature is one of the things I like about him but, at the same time, there is such a thing as too nice. I disagree with the RP on the assertion that all women are lusting after alphas; however, a little consensual douchebaggery can be fun. And it's nice dating people who can forget about me for long enough to take pleasure in the attractiveness of others, as long as their interest returns to me in the end, and as long as I get the same leeway.

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-05-20T20:23:29+00:00

no. i've had a guy do it to me in the past, and it was incredibly hurtful. it just made it clear he wasn't interested in me anymore, and things fells apart shortly after. if my husband did that now, it would also be really hurtful.

in the past it might have pushed me to do things i didn't actually want just so a guy wouldn't go; i was younger then. i'd try to figure out more about the 'problem' if it started happening in my marriage, depending how overtly it was done. if severe or obvious, i'd just pull away though, and probably consider my options for leaving if it became a regular thing. i won't tolerate it, and a relationship with that involved just isn't worth continuing. the value of the relationship would become less than what staying in it would take from me.

dakru · 2016-05-20T19:58:43+00:00

"It almost seems like older guys giving this advice are trying to mess up younger guy's chances with women, like they want them to fail."

This is exactly the case and EXACTLY what the red pill is. Bitter older men trying to fuck things up for younger guys.

Eventually the truth will surface.

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DaphneDK · 2016-05-21T03:18:15+00:00

I don't need to flirt with other women. My gf dread game herself at least twice a week.

nomdplume · 2016-05-21T04:34:24+00:00

How do you define "flirting"?

[deleted] · 2016-05-21T05:24:46+00:00

I don't want any guy I date to even look at another woman in my presence. I have no tolerance for cheating.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-05-22T02:04:08+00:00

It would be my cue to check out of the relationship. A guy who flirts with other women has one foot out the door and is not worth trying to hang on to.

Superfluous_Toast · 2016-06-07T09:28:11+00:00

That's a one way ticket to sleeping alone.

2016-05-21T05:41:23+00:00

[removed]

Title	Women, do you actually like when your man flirts with another woman?
Author	Titaniu
Upvotes	14
Comments	285
Date	May 20, 2016 7:56 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4ka2o4/women_do_you_actually_like_when_your_man_flirts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-do-you-actually-like-when-your-man-flirts.274599 https://theredarchive.com/post/274599

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