Q4TRP: How can I get men to see me as an equal?

ianiemasns · 2015-11-06T05:34:52+00:00

I don't want to be treated this way. I do not wish to be treated in a way that is any different that from the way one would treat a respected colleague or friend that one has no potential sexual interest in. I want to be treated as an equal in all aspects of life.

I understand desiring this in a professional environment. Pretty normal and reasonable, most people want to be respected professionally and valued for their merit. And in your field of engineering, you probably don't have much to worry about. If your work is up to par you'll generally be respected in engineering circles, in my experience (female in engineering here, as well).

Where normal people deviate from that, though, is in relationships. Do you really want your husband to treat you "no different than the way one treats a respected colleague" ? That would leave you feeling undesired and unloved pretty quickly, I think. Generally, in relationships, women need to feel desired and lusted after and protected, otherwise they don't feel loved. That's been my experience and I think it's most women's experience.

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T06:25:02+00:00

RP Men will still see you as an equal. You will still be loved and respected. What you need to understand is that the only things posted on RedPill is that which furthers RP beliefs. You will never see 99% of a relationship uploaded to that sub.

"We had a blast at the park today! I made sandwiches and we rode bikes for an hour."

"Met her parents, they were really cool. I could definitely see myself with this girl long term."

"I proposed! Can't wait to start a family."

Are these all things RedPill men can and do feel? Yes, of course. But that is not something they put ONLINE because it isn't RedPill. If you go to a board like r/feminism, you will never read about how much one of the users loves it when her man pushes her face into the pillows and fucks her brains out. Why? Because it's not feminist.

The primary function of TRP is to get laid, and to get laid very often. Outside of that it's more or less up to the individual.

As far as game goes, replace that word with "charm." Would you be upset if a man was very charming? If he was funny, quick witted, and charismatic? Probably not, right? That's all game is. Some people are naturally charming, others need help to learn.

My advice to you would be to get off TRP and never look at it again. Trust your instincts. If you like someone, if they make you laugh and feel good about yourself, then don't worry about what it "might be" and just go for it.

Otherwise you'll become like the angry BluePill women who see RedPill everywhere now. They can't even hold a conversation without picking up on natural mating tactics and being disgusted. Normal sarcasm becomes "Agree and Amplify," light teasing becomes "Negging."

Coming from an abusive relationship is hard, but if you aren't interested in having casual sex then work towards what you want and ignore the rest. Good luck.

cxj · 2015-11-06T05:47:02+00:00

(I know, I know, most men are wonderful and would never dream of such a thing but survival instincts like this one take a long time to deprogram

Most men are not wonderful, neither are most women. If this were the case, the word wonderful would have no meaning.

I don't want to be a target of "game" or unwanted sexual advances. What should I do?

LOL, there is no way around this, you are a young girl and you are going to be approached. You can minimize it by being cold, unfriendly, not smiling, maintaining resting bitch face at all times, acting disinterested, having your headphones on in public, not making eye contact with people and being constantly absorbed in your phone, and writing posts like this. If you do get hit on, just don't say very much, react very minimally and with disinterest, go on your phone, straight up walk away, or maybe just politely ask the guy to please stop talking to you.

I simply want to be treated as an equal.

Careful what you wish for...

Two studies demonstrated that lay people misperceive the relationship between hostile sexism (HS) and benevolent sexism (BS) in men, but not in women. While men's endorsement of BS is viewed as a sign of a univalently positive attitude towards women, their rejection of BS is perceived as a sign of univalent sexist antipathy. Low BS men were judged as more hostile towards women than high BS men , suggesting that perceivers inferred that low BS men were indeed misogynists. Negative evaluations were reduced when men's rejection of BS was attributed to egalitarian values, supporting the hypothesis that ambiguity about the motivations for low BS in men was partially responsible for the attribution of hostile sexist attitudes to low BS men.

source

I have a biological obligation to reproduce

WTF? Biological obligation to whom?

Finally I, despite my best efforts, do not experience sexual attraction

At all? Have you been to therapy about this? If this really, truly is the case, you absolutely should not get into a relationship with a man, because he will be fucking miserable. To be happy, most men need to be fucked by a girl they are attracted to who really wants to fuck them.

SmurfESmurferson · 2015-11-06T05:40:01+00:00

What concerns me is the conflict of these two statements:

I, despite my best efforts, do not experience sexual attraction

I still want to in the future possibly date and get married, have kids (I have a biological obligation to reproduce), the whole shebang

Am I misunderstanding your first point? Are you asexual, or are you trying to say that you have no sexual attraction to men you just met?

impossibleworlds · 2015-11-06T08:21:26+00:00

If you want guys to see you as an equal and not be a target of game, then probably go for more "beta" guys (nice/submissive/polite/effeminate, etc). There's plenty of them out there, and they don't exactly get a ton of attention. :D

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-11-06T14:21:54+00:00

Do not inflict yourself on any man, if you have a heart

DrunkGirl69 · 2015-11-06T06:48:35+00:00

It sounds like this TRP stuff is getting to you. Take some time away from here (I know it can be addicting, trust me) and just remember that the men here are not representative of men at large. I can imagine you getting worried about what every man you interact with thinks of you...this perception will impact all your male relationships in a negative way. Sometimes I have to remind myself that NAMALT. Get lunch with a guy friend. Have a laugh. Engaging in the real world tends to remind me that this place isn't it.

You seem like a smart girl. You'll be able to know when someone doesn't respect you. Whatever you do, don't let it get you down. There are so many smart men out there who will see you as an equal and still be able to love you completely.

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T05:49:33+00:00

I honestly think you have nothing to worry about. Ultimately RP guys want to attract women who are already interested in casual sex in the first place, what we call the CC riders. If your not even interested in sex your good to go.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-11-06T06:26:10+00:00

TL;DR: I don't want to be a target of "game" or unwanted sexual advances. What should I do?

There's not much you can do. People are going to perceive you through a sexual lens if you are even passingly attractive. And (sadly if you're a feminist) there's still nothing illegal about game and making sexual advances (at least outside of work).

Lowering your attractiveness intentionally would help a lot but I suspect you will not do that, because you still want sexual advances from a certain sliver of attractive, smart, close friend males.

There ARE some mid range solutions you can try:

1) always be at work. This is where sexual advances are least common due to pesky laws and company policies. They'll still happen, cause betas are thirsty, but not too regularly.

2) sue and or seek the firing of the first guy who comes on to you at work. This will give you a terrifying reputation.

3) practice and wear bitchface. This will give off the universal signal of "do not approach me" thus ensuring only rapey or socially dumb men will still bother to approach you. Especially important for those rare times you will be traveling between work and home.

4) be socially reclusive. Use a grocery and laundry service so you never have to leave your home.

5) say "are you gaming me? Are you negging me? Is this PUA shit?" At random intervals while conversing with men. Doesn't matter if they are or not, say it anyway. This may scare off a TRP guy on the astronomical chance you someday are approached by one.

6) go to a place completely free of men. This could involve starting your own colony or joining one of the female only cities in that bastion of feminism, Saudi Arabia.

Alternately to all this, you could learn to accept that male-female interactions tend to have a sexual component or undercurrent and learn to deal with in a good humored fashion.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2015-11-06T07:46:43+00:00

As I've been learning about the philosophies behind TRP, men's rights and MRAs

As a Men's Human Rights supporter, I'd like to clarify that the MHRM should not be package-dealt with TRP. Nor should MGTOW. All three philosophies are separate. There is certainly some overlap to some degree, but they are distinct and need to be treated as such.

I noticed that many theories and practices revolve around "game" or getting women to sleep with you

Well, let us face it, men want to get laid. Attempting to be sexually attractive isn't weird or anything. Men want to be desired too!

These strategies involve, among other things, treating women like children, being "dominant" and "alpha" when around women, etc.

Remember that sometimes TRP greatly package-deals being confident and assertive with being dominant. I don't think all TRPers literally believe women want to be controlled. So perhaps read them a little more charitably, because being assertive and confident is perfectly consistent with treating someone as an equal. "I am not your doormat" =/= "I am your ruler."

I don't want to be treated this way. I do not wish to be treated in a way that is any different that from the way one would treat a respected colleague or friend that one has no potential sexual interest in. I want to be treated as an equal in all aspects of life.

So you never want any men to attempt to charm you, seduce you or romance you?

For a very large amount of women, being charmed and courted is an extreme thrill. The world's largest selling genre of fiction is based upon this.

Sure, in a professional environment you want to be treated just like anyone else. But in a personal relationship, things differ right? TRP isn't about workplace manners but rather about being sexually attractive so obviously it makes sense that one doesn't "game" women around the work place.

There are a couple thing about me that make me fear men targeting me with their "game." First, I'm rather young (18 at time of posting), and at an age many men consider to be my "peak range." Second, I'm in college, currently double majoring in engineering fields, making me pretty well educated and I suppose a suitable partner in terms of intellectual equality and the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation.

First, you're clearly a rational and intelligent woman. TRP is designed to work on the average woman, who is frankly far less intelligent and more emotionalist than you. You're probably likely to be what TRP describes as a "Unicorn" (somewhat derisive description and frankly "Unicorns" are not as rare as actual Unicorns but you get the point).

Continuing on this I am a survivor of domestic violence and suffered over 6 years of (non-sexual, thank God) abuse from childhood until my late teens. The perpetrator of this abuse was a man, and I would be a fool to not think that this has not made me slightly wary of men (I know, I know, most men are wonderful and would never dream of such a thing but survival instincts like this one take a long time to deprogram)

I'm truly sorry for the suffering you've endured. You have my condolences.

Finally I, despite my best efforts, do not experience sexual attraction so even men who are pulling their best "game" will not be successful in terms of sleeping with me.

So you're probably asexual. Or perhaps never met someone you found hot. Or perhaps just gray-asexual with very high standards (this is Tumblr-speak for "hypergamous," which is not a bad thing no matter what TRP say).

But sexuality is a complex thing, arguably much more fluid and flexible than our society admits. So I'd suggest maybe you shouldn't really care about it too much.

You're clearly a rational woman. Rational people are often more into ideas than sex (take it from me, I'm in a similar boat! Low-sex-drive dude who'd rather discuss or think about sex than have it IRL). If my hunch is correct, your "lizard brain" has a lot less control over you, so TRP tactics won't work on you as effectively. So you've got little to worry about.

That being said, I still want to in the future possibly date and get married, have kids (I have a biological obligation to reproduce), the whole shebang.

You don't have a biological obligation to reproduce. "Biological obligation" is a contradiction in terms. But frankly, if you want to get married and have children you'll have to offer men something to make them willing to risk the chance of losing everything in the divorce.

Or you can find a similarly not-very-sexual brainy dude who wishes for marriage-and-kids to partner with and have kids with. But these are rare. Unicorn hunting time!

You could always try single parenting BUT this is NOT easy and you should only do it if you have enough money (no, you CANNOT do this with handouts) and perhaps extended family BUT given the abuse you endured I suspect you may not have that capacity?

I simply want to be treated as an equal.

Yet in one of your replies you say the following: "HOWEVER, I still want to be loved. I still want to be in caring, romantic relationships. I still want to get married"

The way that our culture generally conceives of "caring, romantic relationships" and being heterosexually "married" is an unequal arrangement (not necessarily unequal in the sense of power differential, but rather in the sense that there are different expectations and things for each sex).

The man woos and wins over his woman and cares for her and treats her as a princess and so innately special... does Valentine's Day involve both sexes treating eachother equally? Or rather, does it have us play out very unequal roles? (Man as charmer, supplicator, working to please and make his woman happy, showing his love for her).

Unless you want a very different, unconventional kind of love, the simple fact is that what you want is unequal by definition.

Of course you want to be treated as an independent individual with your own feelings and right to those feelings, with your own mind and will, and to have that respected. That's a good thing and I agree with this. That's common decency and should go without saying. But common decency is not so common; I should add that men don't get treated with common decency either.

So what do you really want? Do you want "cafeteria traditionalism" - material security, love, care, to be treated like a princess and spoiled and thought of as precious and special, and a good man to have a child with... without any of the things you normally have to give back in return for such an arrangement?

Or do you want a dual-income family with both you and he as breadwinners with roughly 50/50 shares of all responsibilities? This is a lot more reasonable, but then the issue of traditional romance comes up... if you want traditionally romantic stuff, that's inherently unequal.

Or you could be a unicorn with a hyper-rational mindset who wants a non-traditional form of romance/love where both of you act as both subject and object of love and care, and also you'd divide all the responsibilities 50/50.

ianiemasns · 2015-11-06T12:50:04+00:00

I just want my future partner to approach and treat me as an equal, not use "game" or whatever.

The fact that you've already decided that it will be him approaching you means the nature of the relationship is already not equal.

Sepean · 2015-11-06T11:22:45+00:00

I simply want to be treated as an equal.

You and every other girl. There are plenty of men who will treat you like an equal. Just know that you're wired like all the other girls: you think that is what you want, but really it is just to test the guy for his alphaness: if he complies, you'll soon lose whatever respect and attraction you had for him.

Whisper · 2015-11-09T20:00:48+00:00

Okay, now we are getting somewhere.

Bring men your problem, not your solution.

You've had a fucked up life, and, drawing from experience, you are afraid of getting treated like crap. That's your problem.

But then you think about the problem, and you imagine a solution... "I want a men who respects me, and sees me as an equal in every way, and doesn't have any power over me, and I'm not vulnerable to him at all. Then I will be safe." That's the solution you imagined.

And instead of looking to men to help you with your problem, you tell them what the solution is going to be and demand that specific thing.

Well, that doesn't work very well. Why not?

Because men are not submissive and obedient. They don't like being told to do, especially by someone ungrateful. What men are is protective, problem solvers, leaders, and fighters. If you try to make a man do X, Y, and Z, because you think it's what you want, he will resent you, avoid you, want nothing to do with you. If you approach him with your defenses down, you will get a much more positive, protective, helpful response.

Men are stronger than you, tougher than you, more driven than you. We are born fighters. You are not. You can never be safe from us by being tough, independent, and competent, because that stuff is built into us, and we'll always have more.

You can be safe from us, you can in fact enlist our help, by not trying to stand up to or fight us. By appealing to our protective, helpful instincts instead.

Being exactly the woman you say you don't want to be seen as (immature, feminine, vulnerable, childish) is the most powerful position you can be in. Because when you get femininity right, men become your allies, not your enemies.

So you can stomp your little feet and demand to be seen as adult and mature, and men will roll their eyes and avoid you. Or you can express yourself honestly, and be vulnerable, and men will be much more forthcoming.

Because let's face it, you're not looking for an equal. An "equal" to you would be a man who's like you are: barely out of childhood, traumatized by years of violence, and with repressed sexual urges. Sound like your dream boyfriend? Didn't think so. No, you're looking for someone who is more mature than you are. Someone who has his shit together, and can help you straighten things out. But to have that, you have to be less mature than he is.

Immaturity isn't an insult, it's a gift

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T06:07:12+00:00

Unfortunately I'll never be able to see women as true equals to men. They're just inferior.

BeyondTheLight · 2015-11-06T07:07:51+00:00

I second the person who says you need a break. TRP will drag you down girl, if you let it.

Honestly, who cares what they think? They are a minority.

Thanks for your previous post.. :D

[deleted] · 2015-11-07T03:12:46+00:00

Men don't respect or see people they've just met as equal. If you show yourself to be equal then you'll be seen as an equal.

Some guys are prejudiced and won't see you as that regardless, fuck them, there's not a lot you can do. Most men simply reserve their judgement until they know someone. Lots of guys (myself included) have inflated egos and won't see anyone as equal unless they show themselves to be, don't expect it to just happen.

exit_sandman · 2015-11-06T08:55:16+00:00

If you want to avoid being hit on by players:

Rule 1: Be unattractive
Rule 2: Don't be attractive

Only a minority of guys uses game, and they won't go after you if you play up your homeliness. The ones who will be left are unlikely to try PUA-tricks on you (or even know of them, for that matter).

That said, if you really want to be perceived as an equal by men, you're out of luck short of pretending that you're a guy. Guys may respect you for your skills and your capability, but they'll still perceive you as a woman - which means (especially in a field like engineering where you're already desirable by virtue of being a single woman) thinking "I'd tap that" and hitting on you.

Rufus_Reddit · 2015-11-06T14:30:24+00:00

TL;DR: I don't want to be a target of "game" or unwanted sexual advances. What should I do?

The other day, while I was walking down the street, a beggar asked me for money. I don't like it when beggars ask me for money, what should I do?

GaiusScaevolus · 2015-11-06T14:53:27+00:00

TL;DR: I don't want to be a target of "game" or unwanted sexual advances. What should I do?

Tough. Part of life for any remotely non Huttese woman is being hit on by guys who find you sexually attractive. Unless you deliberately make yourself extremely unappealing, you'll probably have to deal. Express disinterest in a polite but firm way and move on with your day like everyone else.

(I might later be posting this on r/AskTRP[1] but I thought I'd try here first)

Would not recommend.

scallopkid · 2015-11-10T15:22:32+00:00

When you go out in public, you run the risk of being approached and talked to. That's just life. You claim to be a mature adult but your post and comments tell me otherwise, you have a very immature view of other people. It's not their job to know how you would like to be treated, and even if they did know, they don't owe you that. You get the response that YOU inspire from other people. If you are not getting the respect you want, you could do something differently. I get the sense that you think your are more rational and mature than you really seem to be. Remember that it's not up to you to decide what behavior should earn someone else's respect. For example, after reading your post and replies in this thread, I have very little respect for you since you come across as an entitled child. IT DOESN'T MATTER if that's not how you think you come across. It's how I perceive you so it's how I'm going to think of you unless you do something that changes my perception of you.

In your post you ask "what should I do to prevent this?" Which is good. But in your comments you really drift into the "guys should treat me as equal to them" territory.

SexyMcSexington · 2015-11-06T05:37:00+00:00

Misogyny is treating a woman like you'd treat a man.

Why do you want to be treated equally? Why do you worry if you are being treated equally? You might have noticed people treating you differently as you gained weight. Attractiveness pays a big part in how you are treated, especially as a woman. In that aspect you were never treated as equal, for better or worse.

RacialRealism · 2015-11-06T08:02:43+00:00

90% of men are beta blue pillers so 90% of men will treat you like an adult. In fact they will go above that and treat you like some kind of authority figure or parent, all the while trying to fuck you.

RedPill men (10% of the population) will treat you like a child. You don't have a dick and balls so they're not interested in treating you any other way.

BluePill men will treat you like a godess.

wtknight · 2015-11-06T10:09:17+00:00

If you are in some kind of non-one night stand with a Red Pill guy, he will consider your demand a "shit test" and will quickly next you, so you really don't have to worry about being pursued by Red Pillers because, if you encounter one, they won't be in your life for long.

There are plenty of men out there with a good mix of "alpha" traits and"beta" ones who are desirable partners without being complete doormats. The Red Pill dichotomy that everybody is either a strong alpha or a weak beta is an incorrect and oversimplified one.

NalkaNalka · 2015-11-06T05:59:10+00:00

I just want my future partner to approach and treat me as an equal, not use "game" or whatever.

That is not mutualy exclusive.

unwanted sexual advances.

There is no way for a guy to know its unwanted until he tries.

Also I wound not worry too much about getting hit on by lots of terper. There are not many out in the real world.

As a final note don't conflate TRP and men's rights. They are two completly different things. This is the second time you have done it. The first time could have been an honest mistake. Repeats, not so much.

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T06:34:47+00:00

I don't want to be treated this way. I do not wish to be treated in a way that is any different that from the way one would treat a respected colleague or friend that one has no potential sexual interest in. I want to be treated as an equal in all aspects of life.

Then you are shit out of luck. Maybe become a supervillain then release mutagen-X into atmoshpere that will make everyone genderless.

Baldr209 · 2015-11-06T09:24:50+00:00

find a guy and ask him out yourself.

KHJohan · 2015-11-06T09:53:59+00:00

I think this video may be a little helpfull to you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_A6q2_9IKI

it is about what happens to hook-up artists

cats_or_get_out · 2015-11-06T12:27:16+00:00

Easy. Don't have sex without first securing commitment. Take things slowly.

You're a kid. You're only 18. Last year, you were a minor. You are new to adulting. You don't have to figure it all out at once.

Focus on fixing yourself. Your whole victim thing you have going is going to make you a target to bad men. Victimized people repeat the victimization. Stop it. Bad things to happen to us, but we do the real, actual damage to ourselves when respond this way.

As long as you view yourself as a victim, no one will view you as an equal. Join the military. Spend three months at Marine Corps boot camp, and that will help disabuse of your weaknesses and this psychological prison you are building for yourself. It will also give you some perspective and help you realize the folly in asserting that you are well-educated (freshman 101). The military would do a thousand times more good for you than college at this moment--if you're looking to become an emotionally and physically stronger person.

Cultivate some resilience. Stop being a victim. These are small ways you can earn the respect of others. You don't get to be "equal" to others simply by virtue of having a pulse.

Men and women are different. When you can truly internalize that, you will stop spinning your wheels about all this.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2015-11-06T12:53:06+00:00

Do you want to be treated the same?

Studies have shown that when women are treated the same as men they find it to be incredibly sexist.

Ronin11A · 2015-11-06T15:14:03+00:00

I simply want to be treated as an equal.

Then bring equal value. Be fit. Take care of yourself. Train your mind with regular reading (and not 50 Shades or Harry Potter bullshit). Be able to hold a real conversation about a variety of subjects. Step up to the plate and offer more than tits and lips, and do it in a way that's genuine and not confrontational.

Basically, hold yourself to the same standard women hold men to. Seriously. My number one complaint with modern feminists is they want to be treated like equals, but without actually doing the work to earn it. The fact that you're a woman and you think you're a catch isn't enough. Demonstrate value. Real, tangible, meaningful value.

[deleted] · 2015-11-06T17:33:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wombatinaburrow · 2015-11-08T03:07:14+00:00

You are very young, and have been hurt. Stay away from trp and mra types; they are the kinds of people who will delight in your suffering, add to it, and then masturbate over your corpse. You need to find yourself - not a husband or a boyfriend. A pp mentioned the armed forces, and while I doubt that is the answer, a similarly goal focused group (Ventures/rovers, Duke of Edinburgh, outward bound, volunteer firefighting, animal rescue, green peace, heck, even a political party) will help you grow in yourself, and give you a focus and a direction. Navel gazing about your sexual orientation will allow it to take over your life. Make it a part of your life, rather than it's focus.

statsfodder · 2015-11-06T08:36:07+00:00

Those that treat you as an equal will be invisible to you.

Those who treat you like a princess will be used and abused as they are beneath you.

Those that treat you like a slut, you will allow them to do anything they like to you then you will cry when they dump you for your best friend....

camelBlue_soft · 2015-11-06T09:55:18+00:00

red pill men are the minority out there - most men are like billy beta and carry you on their hands, so no need to worry.

CthroughYou · 2015-11-06T11:08:25+00:00

I want to be treated as an equal in all aspects of life.

Hilariously idealistic. Read lots of philosophy, its your only hope.

ppdthrowawai · 2015-11-06T12:24:30+00:00

Not going to lie but reading your responses here make it seen like there is a lot going on in your head that you need to sort or before you have a healthy relationship with someone. Don't just rush into it because it's what people do. I don't know if it's your history of abuse, illness, our lack of healthy interactions with the opposite sex but I would sort out whatever is going on in your head first and stay off of TRP. Honestly, you are not the target audience and reading that if you aren't mentally healthy is probably not going to help.

dancing_junkie · 2015-11-06T14:21:16+00:00

I'm not sure why you think you'l' be able to control this. You don't get to control people just yourself. Understand what tactics guys use and you should be able to see through them. Your going to get targeted no matter what but if you understand the dynamic then you'll be fine.

ozymandias271 · 2015-11-06T16:19:45+00:00

While I understand sex is an important part of most relationships, other users are telling me "not to subject a man to myself," to not get married, to not have children. I know you all mean the best but I simply don't understand why you keep saying this.

Because sex is an important part of a man's life. A man is not going to invest himself or commit himself, his time, or his money if he's not going to get sex out of it. And depriving him of frequent sex (as in once every other day) is cruel to him. Requiring you to have sex with a man every other day when you aren't attracted to him and don't feel attraction to him is cruel to you.

You're damaged from the abuse. Get that fixed. By your own description, you're wholly unfit for marriage to a man. You want to get married for the wrong reasons (to have kids). You want to have children for the wrong reasons (because you feel you have some imagined, grandiose "biological obligation" to reproduce because no one else in your family is able to).

You are going about this the wrong way, with the wrong equipment, with the wrong mindset and for the wrong reasons.

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T19:41:32+00:00

Here's the thing, you don't actually want to be treated as an equal. You may believe you do, but the evidence is against you. Since you're into seeing studies and evidence, here is one that shows when men treat women exactly how they treat other men, with neither discrimination or privilege, women reacted as if being treated in a sexist way.

Essentially women are so used to receiving so-called "benevolent sexism" in their favor that when it disappears, they are offended.

Most weren't even aware of how heavily they depended on men giving them special treatment until it all went away. And they didn't like being treated as exact equals at all.

czerdec · 2015-11-06T21:29:45+00:00

Be their equal.

PIBagent · 2015-11-07T01:06:05+00:00

I don't want to be a target of "game" or unwanted sexual advances. What should I do?

continue to gain weight.
cut your hair short.
stop wearing makeup.
wear a resting bitch-face all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.
grow a leg-beard.
talk about how men are constantly try to rape and oppress wom... oh wait this is from my list of how to be a feminist sorry sorry.

smokecheck1976 · 2015-11-06T07:32:30+00:00

“As I've been learning about the philosophies behind TRP, men's rights and MRAs, I noticed that many theories and practices revolve around "game" or getting women to sleep with you. These strategies involve, among other things, treating women like children, being "dominant" and "alpha" when around women, etc.” This isn’t every man, for starters. I would argue that it’s a starting point for men who grew up completely lacking examples of what a man should be and act to have successful interactions, not only with women but in general. We all where masks, to some degree or another, and we wear different masks at different times.
“I don't want to be treated this way. I do not wish to be treated in a way that is any different that from the way one would treat a respected colleague or friend that one has no potential sexual interest in. I want to be treated as an equal in all aspects of life. There are a couple thing about me that make me fear men targeting me with their "game." First, I'm rather young (18 at time of posting), and at an age many men consider to be my "peak range." Second, I'm in college, currently double majoring in engineering fields, making me pretty well educated and I suppose a suitable partner in terms of intellectual equality and the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation. Third, I'm at least average in terms of attractiveness. I've been told that I have at least the potential to be a "knockout" by people ranging from male friends to my ex boyfriend.” Yet, nature made you a woman. So you will be targeted, no matter what, trying to talk to a woman is not yet a crime. Game is not an endless supply and eventually people do have to get real with each other. If you want them to be friends, then just be a friend, make it clear up front. Some will invest in a friendship, others won’t. “Finally I, despite my best efforts, do not experience sexual attraction so even men who are pulling their best "game" will not be successful in terms of sleeping with me. This has been a cause for a lot of confusion and pain throughout my life, and was a big factor in ending my last relationship, so it's not something I usually bring up to anyone, especially men. That being said, I still want to in the future possibly date and get married, have kids (I have a biological obligation to reproduce), the whole shebang. I just want my future partner to approach and treat me as an equal, not use "game" or whatever.” Just because he uses “game” to meet you makes him a bad guy? Seems like an odd thought. I mean you would expect a guy that works on your car to have at least a little knowledge on how it works, right? Also, you have no obligation to be in any relationship, ever marry, or ever have kids. I don’t know why that is even still a thing that is considered, especially when young men your age shouldn’t even be considering it as an idea.

EmpressofMars · 2015-11-06T13:55:41+00:00

Finally I, despite my best efforts, do not experience sexual attraction so even men who are pulling their best "game" will not be successful in terms of sleeping with me. This has been a cause for a lot of confusion and pain throughout my life, and was a big factor in ending my last relationship, so it's not something I usually bring up to anyone, especially men. That being said, I still want to in the future possibly date and get married, have kids (I have a biological obligation to reproduce), the whole shebang. I just want my future partner to approach and treat me as an equal, not use "game" or whatever.

You don't want a husband. You want a business partner.

You don't want to be loved. BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION, I don't think you're capable of loving or being loved, respecting or being respected.

Just hire someone to be a roommate and get some high quality sperm to have a couple of kids.

I know this sounds harsh, and it is. But your position is such that no man, RP or otherwise, should be in a relationship with you. And your position is such that you should not foist yourself on any man. You said it yourself -- you don't feel sexual attraction. You don't even know what it is. (I bet that you do. I bet if I put you next to a man who pushed your buttons, you'd feel sexual attraction. But you're not even self-aware enough to know what that is or how it's experienced or how to respond to it.)

You should not be in a relationship until you get some heavy duty therapy, and even then you might never be ready.

[deleted] · 2015-11-06T19:36:38+00:00

If you're ugly, you'll get treated like a man.

MorpheusGodOfDreams · 2015-11-06T21:01:53+00:00

Men and women are NOT equal, and will never be equal, not even under the law. This is due to fundamental differences in biology that are centered around pregnancy.

when we use the term "equality," the human mind immediately thinks of the math concept. 2+5 =7, because 2 and 5 together are of equal value and thus and THE SAME as 7. Same also means interchangeable. Men and women are NOT interchangeable, they are complimentary. By constantly ignoring or minimizing these biological differences between the sexes, society creates unnecessary problems and suffering.

If a man treats you like an equal, then he is treating you like a man. No good thing can come of this denial.

Title	Q4TRP: How can I get men to see me as an equal?
Author	EmpressofMars
Upvotes	6
Comments	262
Date	November 6, 2015 5:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3rq8x5/q4trp_how_can_i_get_men_to_see_me_as_an_equal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4trp-how-can-i-get-men-to-see-me-as-an-equal.278624 https://theredarchive.com/post/278624

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