Why is the phrase 'shes not yours, it's just your turn' one of the most repeated ones in RP circles?

nomadunkown · 2020-11-15T16:39:06+00:00

It stems from the idea that women can only love a man conditionally. At least that’s my interpretation.

Turning_blades · 2020-11-15T17:47:19+00:00

It is used to explain to a clueless guy why his girl monkey branched even if he was doing everything right. It is a quick, informal explanation of women's nature (hypergamy).

abaxeron · 2020-11-15T18:13:08+00:00

Break-ups for men are severely and permanently scarring, and have a serious chance of sending the guy into infinite self-destructory positive feedack loop, that he needs to get snapped out of, and quickly. Which is why I usually meet this phrase in the form "she WAS not yours, it just WAS your turn".

Do you believe that great sex alone can keep a woman around and bonded?

The point of the phrase is that there's always probability of getting dumped, and it rises with time spent together. Even if you look like Greek god marble statue come to life and talk/behave like a perfect mix of gentleman and comedy show host without rehearsals.

TLorrai · 2020-11-15T17:00:24+00:00

Women have basically an unlimited number of options when dating for most of their life. At any point in time a women could be talking to multiple guys simultaneously and have them competing against each other. So the chance that you are the one guy that's better than the rest is very low. The one guy she leaves all her other options for. You may be enjoying your tome with a women and she might as well, but eventually she will get an offer from someone better. Maybe he's hotter or has more money. Point is that the girl has no reason to stay loyal to the original guy. She could even see the next guy behind the original guy's back. The world is her oyster. In today's society a girl jumping from guy to guy is seen as empowering, or finding herself. Not all women exercise this power, but most could if they wanted to.

Obviously it's not so black and white and girls do fall in love and stick to one guy. But the majority of men do not inspire that loyalty. If you aren't constantly working on yourself and being the best you, there's no reason for a girl in her prime to sit around for you to get your shit together. So she'll always keep her options open. She can always date with abundance mentality. So the solution for most guys is to, one, treat women exactly the same (as of they're replaceable), and two work on yourself daily so that you can eventually be the "one" she wants to be faithful for.

DLifts777 · 2020-11-15T23:59:11+00:00

Men are islands, women are boats.

They come in, they go out. Don’t get mad about it, just enjoy it for what it is. Certainly don’t bet half your wealth they’ll stay docked to the island.

reluctantly_red · 2020-11-15T16:50:24+00:00

Its about the fickle nature of women. One day they're promising to love and honor their guy till death -- the next day they're looking for an upgrade.

wekacuck · 2020-11-15T16:33:03+00:00

I think it probably means different things to different guys. For me it's about awareness of a flawed thinking where women pairbond and then based on that you focus on other things and neglect relationship maintenance. I'm not really sure where that idea crept into my psyche but I am aware of it every now and then when deciding whether to do something. Anyway for me it's just a reminder that women are separate entities and each is the center of her own story. I'm just a prop in their stories. There is no grand unified story arc that we're all living inside playing our parts.

Other guys I think have been cheated on and it helps them stop blaming themselves. I imagine it also helps conceptualize being ghosted.

So I think it's popular because we can all find it useful in a variety of situations.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-11-16T01:55:46+00:00

Given sufficient time women ALWAYS leave. The point is to accept that and move on.

Women cannot love men unconditionally, they cannot be loyal to a man of one rank if a higher ranking male is available to them and they are always on the look out for the next best thing.

As a man, you have to accept that.

I think the mistake that people make is they falsely believe that this is about women. But its not. This is about men learning to accept the inevitable.

It ALWAYS ends because no man will ever be the best forever and even if he is the best forever, her novelty seeking tendencies with orient her towards even a lower ranking male if he is better than you in one area.

Maybe he's taller?

Maybe is teeth are whiter?

It doesn't matter. She will find your replacement and move on.

GYOW gentlemen.

LooseIndication · 2020-11-16T02:03:28+00:00

It means that soulmates do not exist.

It means that you can't own a person.

It means that women are hypergamous.

It means that there is no point in investing long term in a woman.

It means that women live in the moment.

It means that there is no collateral. No insurance. No stock.

Women give a service, not a good.

wtknight · 2020-11-15T16:30:08+00:00

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2020-11-15T16:46:02+00:00

because it is one of the most important phrase or at least it is for me, it's all about mindset and aproach to relationships. every relationship is temporary and should be treated as such, lot of guys larp and say that they know that their LTR is temporary, but don't really believe it, so adopting this mindset can help a lot. Men make mistake and invest more into their LTR when it is going down and more time you spent in same relationship, more you need to invest which is inefficient. When your phone breaks, you don't try to fix it, you buy new one, why should relationships be different?

Hoopy223 · 2020-11-15T17:44:16+00:00

Cynical guys who meet lots of serial-dater women.

John_Oakman · 2020-11-15T18:12:26+00:00

Because marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment (divorce being both legally easy and socially acceptable) and most people in general (regardless of gender) have this ultra uncompromising self interest that even small problems is enough to yeet from the relationship.

YouSaidChicken · 2020-11-15T17:15:40+00:00

No, it's just that women don't give a shit about men, they're disposable and they have another 20 in line.

So just like a rollercoaster, you ride your ride, then it ends, then she gets the next rider on, and goes again.

Men matter, a man doesn't matter.

Women may fake having some concept of commitment to a man, but no such thing exists. It would be like her committing to a sandwich.

Women want commitment from men, so they have money and protection until they monkey branch to the next one. But that's just a stepping stone to the next stone. It's just dating to a woman. To a thirsty stupid man, he gets all emotionally invested like a blooper simp that he is, and begins to worship that pussy and white knight, while she barely participates. The relationship is entirely in the blooper's thirsty head.

But she's not yours.

The phrase is to educate, that investing anything is pointless in a woman, because she invests nothing in you, at all. So just treat it what it is, a temporary fun time before she leaves, or you leave, because she is not yours. She doesn't want to be yours. Women have absolutely zero interest in that. She wants you to be hers, because money, status, whatever, but offers nothing in return.

Im_changing_my_life · 2020-11-15T19:21:13+00:00

Women have a dual mating strategy. They trade off arousal for child rearing characteristics. Alpha/beta. When the transaction cost (trading off arousal for child rearing traits) of a relationship exceeds the benefits (fully aroused and “in love”) the the relationship is over. When “the spark is gone” she will want to fuck another dude. It’s a feature not a flaw of evolution. This is why people try and save marriages because over the long term no matter how much you are “in love” the fuse will always run out and the bomb will explode. 100% of the time. Women’s love is arousal based and men’s love is sacrificed based. “Romantic love” is literally a lie in the context of till death do us part. Every man should have at least a couple of lovers as an active part of his life but do not be disillusioned by reality.

existentialhack1 · 2020-11-15T19:31:57+00:00

Because it's far, far easier for a woman to get a man (for anything) than it is for a man to get a woman. A man has to work hard to get a girlfriend, a girl just has to pick a guy. Associated to this, men invest more in relationships, by default.

If you have a friend who has more social value than you, the friendship inevitably means more to you than them. When you spend time with them, it often feels like you're just getting your turn with them, they can choose any of their many friends, they've just chosen you on this occasion. While you're lonely and desperate to spend time with them. This is how some men feel in relationships.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-11-15T19:17:30+00:00

For me, it’s a way to simply tell myself that I could’ve done everything right and her immaturity would’ve ruined things anyway. As a 6-6-6 guy (taller than 6’, make more than $100,000 a year, and well you know the third), you’d be surprised at how many “women” just want to date a ton of dudes and are completely clueless that the dude they are currently “dating” has no intention of ever marrying her. There will always be a new guy in town and some women have little to no ability to discern actual feelings from “oh my God he’s so fun right now”

Basically, you can’t compete with multiple men, so just accept it was your turn and move on instead of getting oneitis

wtknight · 2020-11-15T17:06:10+00:00

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2020-11-15T17:32:01+00:00

anti soulmate-delusion pill. And it's simply is true, a tiny minimum of relationships are parted by death. So it really is just your turn.

2020-11-15T20:23:57+00:00

I think it's because it's really not up to the man whether the woman stays. If she is hypergamous when she finds a better men she's gonna bounce.

The idea is for men to accept this and live their life accordingly.

Suck-Less · 2020-11-15T23:43:19+00:00

There are layers to it. Men can interpret it a few ways. To men it means don’t comment to many resources to a woman, don’t giver her legal power over you, because she is just a human being and often very manipulative.

Satanks · 2020-11-15T16:39:26+00:00

It's the whole 'cock carousel' idea again IMO.

I don't think great sex is alone can keep a woman around or bonded, because in every other aspect you could be failing. There are complete sociopaths and narcissists who are great at sex, but they will have a hard time keeping a relationship without involving abuse to make the person afraid to leave because they have poor character. Also, there is much more to a relationship than sex, It's not very common to find a couple that have been together most their lives who were in a constant state of sexual attraction with each other, imo because humans aren't naturally monogamous. But that doesn't mean relationships are always doomed to fail, you just have to recognize that things aren't going to be like a movie. If you have very carnal desires then it might not work without being poly, having threesomes or being swingers or watching porn. I feel like a lot of relationships these days are extremely controlling sexually, some girls will get mad at their partner for watching porn or having a celebrity crush, same with some guys. I think this possessive sexual mindset causes a lot of problems, now that doesn't mean being in open relationships but it does mean realising humans aren't birds who mate for life and are constantly obsessed with each other.

flowerwoven · 2020-11-16T04:28:41+00:00

>Is it because men have a primal instinct to believe that they 'conquered' a woman when they have sex with her and then are shocked and surprised when she doesn't act that way in reality?

No? You're way overthinking it. This isn't a video game. People want their romantic partner to be theirs. I'm very worried about people who don't want that.

>Or is the phrase used by sexually unsuccessful men?

The opposite. A sexually successful man wouldn't except a woman being only his "turn."

>Just wondering. Do you believe that great sex alone can keep a woman around and bonded?

No. Emotion is really important.

angels-fan · 2020-11-15T16:54:30+00:00

It's part of breaking the oneitis and p pedestalization of the pussy.

If a man goes into every relationship with the mindset of "she's the one!!" then he becomes a clingy, needy, feeling sharing simp. All the things women hate.

If he goes in knowing it's only temporary and that she WILL eventually cheat, he's going to treat it like the casual relationship that it is.

It also helps when pulling girls. "I have a boyfriend" is one of the most breakable lines a woman can use if you're attractive enough.

A lot of this stems from just how easy it is for top tier men to get women to cheat with their bf/hubby with them.

2020-11-15T16:56:54+00:00

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Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-11-15T17:27:44+00:00

It's because they think that no matter how hard you try, she will always, invariably, leave for someone else.

Barneysparky · 2020-11-15T22:39:19+00:00

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wtknight · 2020-11-15T16:53:44+00:00

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wtknight · 2020-11-15T16:28:05+00:00

I think that it's because many men don't understand love and how to keep a woman attracted to them. To tell the truth, I think at a deep down level men actually want women to leave them so they have an opportunity to indulge their polygynous impulses. They like getting consistent sex, but they get bored of it with one woman, so they come up with this line to shift the blame all onto women and none of it onto themselves for their lack of desire to engage in culturally preferred romantic monogamy.

2020-11-15T17:50:43+00:00

Women are sexually mature children. Women want all the benefits of a man taking care of her, but at the same time want all the freedom of not being in a relationship. Women love the subsudies provided by men with no strings attached. The term was first coined by sluts as a coping mechanism for their sexual behavior.

throw-away-1709 · 2020-11-15T17:42:40+00:00

You cannot 'own' a human. Neither with "til death do us part" vows or any legal contracts.

So it is only a time you spend together.

But -depending on both- it can be a very long and good time.

DeadMansBoots · 2020-11-15T19:47:24+00:00

I think it's pretty much self explanitory.

That said, it's not about sex. It's referring to relationships.

Physiologist21 · 2020-11-16T03:29:50+00:00

Cause hoes aint loyal.

and no.

YtBlue · 2020-11-16T03:47:44+00:00

The statement is used to keep needy guys into a non-needy mindset. Your turn could be a day or years. Weakness turns every women off and neediness is one of them.

Eastuss · 2020-11-16T08:20:52+00:00

Yeah it's just to remind men to stop dreaming and be more pragmatic about relationships. Because men too are mistaken to believe in unconditional romantic love.

BioStu · 2020-11-16T15:05:43+00:00

Meaning that any relationship, any bond, no matter how close, can end at any time.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2020-11-16T23:42:36+00:00

I think it's meant to show how much more easily a woman can meet another guy.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-17T03:10:23+00:00

It reinforces the reality that women are "serial monogamists" which is nice-speak for monkey-branching, vine swinging hypergamists.

deeredman1991 · 2020-11-17T06:40:04+00:00

It's repeated like a mantra to remind men never to trust a hot woman in her sexual prime to be loyal to one single man. It helps limit our expectations when approaching said situation so we 1). Don't get hurt and 2). Don't invest too much into the relationship. That's the long and short of it.

classicliberal1 · 2020-11-20T17:54:28+00:00

Why is the phrase 'shes not yours, it's just your turn' one of the most repeated ones in RP circles?

Is it because men have a primal instinct to believe that they 'conquered' a woman when they have sex with her and then are shocked and surprised when she doesn't act that way in reality?

Or is the phrase used by sexually unsuccessful men?

Neither.

The phrase is repeated because it is the solution to the essential problem of the modern mating market. Women are not sexually faithful to men, so it makes no sense for a man to be legally, financially, or emotionally committed to the woman.

"She's not yours, it's just your turn" means that men should not expect a woman to be sexually faithful. They should not get jealous because jealousy is only sensible if a man is invested in a committed relationship, and such a relationship is impossible in today's market.

The phrase means enjoy sex, but do not get attached because the kinds of relationship a man wants is no longer possible.

This sentiment is correct because women have ubiquitously chosen having sex with many high-testosterone men over having committed husbands. The collectively have valued the former over the later. So, it no longer makes sense for men to pursue long-term or life-term sexual strategies. Women determine the mating market, and men response. "It's just your turn" is the mathematically inevitable consequence of young women valuing sex with the top looking, popular men over husbands.

Life is all about trade-offs, and women have chosen one side of the trade-off between long-term and short-term relationships. Life also follows "for every action there is an equal an opposite reaction", and that means that men have changed their behavior and world-view to compensate for how women have changed their own behavior.

The saying isn't malice. It's acceptance of the new reality brought on by the pill and the subsequent 60 years of social changes. At this point in history, all men should follow this saying.

Workaholiconew · 2020-11-21T00:28:58+00:00

Because it is true, unfortunatively, women's love is conditional. And you, no matter who, will inevitably fail at that condition. You will not always be the best she meets. And thus, she will never be forever yours unless she control herself. (which is extremely rare)

Do you believe that great sex alone can keep a woman around and bonded?

To me nothing you can do to make a woman bond... but herself (unless you subscribe to that dominating and destroying their will by violence works, which I never tried). The only person who can do a woman care about you is a woman who is aware of their impulses and controls them. Not too different from a man. And it is clear that most women are unwilling to control their impulses.

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Title	Why is the phrase 'shes not yours, it's just your turn' one of the most repeated ones in RP circles?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	10
Comments	118
Date	November 15, 2020 4:21 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/juoflo/why_is_the_phrase_shes_not_yours_its_just_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-the-phrase-shes-not-yours-its-just-your.337550 https://theredarchive.com/post/337550