I just left a comment on another post about this, and I thought it warranted its own post for discussion.

Have you ever left a relationship because you realized he had another woman (maybe an ex or a friend) that he felt was his perfect fantasy Dreamgirl? Maybe he’d even leave you in a second if he could be with her?

What are some red flags we can watch out for that show we’re not his Dreamgirl? Warning signs that there’s a woman who has a special place in his heart and we can never live up to her?


My story: I found out my boyfriend of ~3 years had made his ex a woodwork piece that relates to a hobby the three of us have. He made it for her after they broke up—she left him after cheating on him. Their relationship only lasted 6 months.

When I asked him to make me one, he got so mad and screamed at me that it was so hard to make, and he doesn’t want to do it again. He said it’s selfish of me to ask him to do that, and obviously I’m just jealous of her. He then listed all the reasons why I’m jealous or should be: he said she’s more intellectual and a better critical thinker than me; the two of them are more sexually compatible; shes’s better at our hobby than I am; and she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever been with.

Maybe a few weeks later, he asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with her. He said they were at happy hour (they went weekly, and I was only invited maybe once a month) and he claims that she just, on her own, brought up the fact that she wants a threesome with the two of us.

I might have been a pickme, but I wasn’t that much of a pickme—I never made it to the Pickmeisha hall of fame, thank God. I obviously did not entertain the idea of a threesome, and that started the end of our relationship, because that was when I realized that to him, I’d never be as good as her, and he’d never do the things for me that he did for her.