What is the mindset of women in their late thirties or older wanting to have kids?

Noodles_R · 2021-02-15T09:51:12+00:00

I'm not sure if I want children. I'm 30 now. I have friends who had kids in their 20s, and I'm glad I didn't. I have a good job, and am about to buy a house. I want to be financially stable and emotionally mature before I have a child. I wasn't either of those in my 20s.

Yes, risks increase over age 35. But if you look after yourself - eat well, exercise - you put yourself in the best position you can. Plus, you get multiple screenings during pregnancy so a lot of complications can be picked up early.

gxga · 2021-02-15T06:35:15+00:00

I don't see geezers worrying about what they're old sperm does to offspring. We have an uprising of autists but okay.

My guess is they want to try and have children while they can, they trust modern medicine to present them with the hard choices and better options, and shit happens preventing them from having children early.

Mating with any random male is too high risk and proves to ruin women's lives all the time. Maybe they now have the resources to carry and nurture offspring. Maybe they finally found a mature, loving partner. A poster here showed the huge spike in activity for private sperm donors on Facebook groups. People want families but in a way conducive to their own peace of mind. Getting knocked up before you can provide for yourself and surround by men who can't or won't provide is a bad, bad idea.

Whatever the risks, it is fundamentally brain dead to look at the struggle pool for dating today and opt to get knocked up without security in place. The number of pregnancies are dropping hard due to a number of factors and that only makes sense in a place that is fairly hostile to nuclear families and mothers. I don't see why we should engage in scaremongering for the women who choose to try.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-02-15T07:03:33+00:00

[deleted]

reluctantly_red · 2021-02-15T06:47:34+00:00

I just put my 10-year-old daughter to sleep. Her mother was 40 when she was born. There were no problems with the pregnancy. There are no problems with the kid -- she's incredibly smart and very healthy.

NarniaFox · 2021-02-15T05:36:51+00:00

Freezing eggs would solve the issue. Plus, the risks are higher comparing them to one's 20s, but it seems they're not high enough for most people to change their mind.

I'm aware about the down syndrome, what else risks does a person get? At least with down syndrome, one can find it out quite early and make an abortion.

Edit: just wanna add reasons why some women want to wait and/or use egg freezing:

- Illnesses. It's often advised before chemotherapy or before ovarian removal and any other operations and procedures that can affect one's fertility.

- A lack of certainty whether one wants to have a child or not. I think in this scenario it's better to risk and not to have a possible unwanted child.

- A lack of resources. You don't know another person's situation, some have to provide for their ill parents, other build their life from the ground from a terrible even or just from moving to another country.

- A lack of a partner. Not all women want to have a child on their own and not all are lucky enough to meet someone in time for it.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-02-15T09:56:59+00:00

My mom had me at 41, I’m 26 now and I’m as strong as a bull.

I do have ADD and alcoholism but those are more genetic I believe than being due to later birth.

A big downside of having kids late that isn’t talked out is that when I was only 23, my mom had already passed away at 64 from cancer and my dad is now in his 70s, almost old enough to be my grandpa. You see your parents grow old and die when you are still very young and dependent on them.

Demasii · 2021-02-15T14:23:01+00:00

exponentially after thirtyfive

It's not exponentially to many women and doctors. Depends on how you look at the numbers.

For example Down Syndrome: A 35 year old is 3 times more likely to give birth to a child with one than a 25 year old. Scary!

But when you actually look at the numbers, it's 1 out of 400 vs 1 out of 1250.

1 out of 400 is a .25 chance. Not scary.

Reference: https://www.webmd.com/baby/over-35-pregnant

2021-02-15T13:25:53+00:00

The wonders of modern medicine extending the fertile period. It’s no longer so urgent to have the first baby by 25. It’s a good and a bad thing.

John_Oakman · 2021-02-15T13:27:01+00:00

Unlike the olden days, nowadays it takes decades to amass the minimum necessary financial & economical prerequisites to have and raise children in a socially and financially responsible manner.

2021-02-15T21:11:33+00:00

Same question for all the old sperm dads. Your shit ain’t fresh either homie.

Seriously look it up, there are real consequences for aging fatherhood but like lots of things, you get a social pass there.

Mimoxs · 2021-02-15T07:47:30+00:00

Bc many if not most people want kids, and being old doesn't magically make that desire not exist? I'm confused on why this is even a question?

blushingoleander · 2021-02-15T18:25:37+00:00

My husband, who I have been with since I was 24, wanted to be 'ready'.

When I hit 35 I told him now or never.

Why assume it's 100% women who are responsible for the delay?

geyejoe7 · 2021-02-15T11:47:07+00:00

You have fun when you're young.

You reserve your later years for boring stuff like marriage and kids.

I don't view it that way, but I get it.

EminemLovesGrapes · 2021-02-15T15:00:07+00:00

Biological Clock.

And the law of "risk" which I saw on a Vsauce video. Everyone says they're average but when it comes to risk they don't think average things will happen to them. Effectively downplaying the risk factor.

So then it becomes really easy to rationalise to yourself to take that risk.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-02-15T17:21:40+00:00

Biological clock ticking closer to menopause.

It's basically "come buy these eggs before they expire!"

Cybercunt2069 · 2021-02-15T07:23:44+00:00

I just feel bad for kids who at 18 have 50-60 year old parents.

SeemedGood · 2021-02-15T07:08:55+00:00

Not if you had your first child younger, and the risk increase isn’t exponential.

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2021-02-15T16:33:22+00:00

I see tons of men in this age group wanting to have kids and it seems just as bonkers to me. Who is going to give a 40 year old man children? But I will probably foster, so that’s my mindset.

2021-02-16T07:26:56+00:00

Although the risks do increase quite a lot, they are far from guaranteed. The odds of a miscarriage are like 20-35% over 35 years old or something vs 15% under 35.

It's a calculated risk I suppose. You can have a longer time of freedom/more financial stability/a more.developed career etc if you are willing to accept that risk.

2021-02-16T13:49:16+00:00

"everyone else is doing it im going to be friendless if i dont as well"

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-02-17T00:51:06+00:00

You should knlw that older father's also carry this risk.

Father's over the age of 45 are at a higher risk of spawning children with autism compared to their younger counterparts.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-02-15T15:29:27+00:00

Because they're selfish people who want to cross "had a child" off the "bucket list". They want to earn the "mother" merit badge (after earning the "fucked around" and "FwB" and "Cock Carousel" and "hoe phase" and "college" and "grad school" and "traveled" and "marriage" and "marital problems" and "divorce" merit badges).

JohnDoe721 · 2021-02-15T17:54:05+00:00

35 y.o. women are losing sexual attention. Guess what happens next they ramp up the mommy attention,

There is also a biological component as others has said.

2021-02-15T06:37:26+00:00

[removed]

Title	What is the mindset of women in their late thirties or older wanting to have kids?
Author	Stanleyonion
Upvotes	0
Comments	155
Date	February 14, 2021 9:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ljxnbn/what_is_the_mindset_of_women_in_their_late/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-mindset-of-women-in-their-late.744561 https://theredarchive.com/post/744561

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