AP is a douche canoe

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-08-19T05:32:26+00:00

It's called a midlife crisis. She's hitting the wall hard at late 30s and decides to jump back on the CC just to prove to herself "she's still got it" and can attract men, never mind the fact that the only men she can attract are losers or just out for a quick pump and dump.

We see this play out so often here, it's like a cliche for late 30s / early 40s women. They want to be free and independent all of a sudden until it all goes wrong...then they come crawling back, begging for forgiveness.

Just make sure you burn ALL the bridges in your heart and NEVER take this useless waste of protein back.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2022-08-19T10:16:32+00:00

APs usually don’t last, but my ex is still with hers. They have been together now longer than we were married. It disgusts me.

But, it keeps her distracted and the drama very low.

Mattbc84 · 2022-08-19T07:21:47+00:00

Sounds like someone I know

Front-Lion-5098 · 2022-08-19T04:56:45+00:00

I assume she was not like this when u married her?

James1933-75 · 2022-08-19T13:21:29+00:00

My stbxw must be yours! Her choice de jour is a jobless, chain smoking, borderline alcoholic. And I don't use this term lightly, he is a true 'deadbeat dad'. BTW, lives in his parent's basement! Ding, ding, ding! FYI, she's in her fourties!

Psychological-Net-62 · 2022-08-19T13:31:35+00:00

So my STBXW and I have been married for 15 years, 2 awesome kids, and she told me two weeks ago that she didn't love me anymore...

I was a Police Officer for 12 of those 15 so I understand, I worked off hours, lots of OT, and I'm not the warmest when it comes to relationships... in fact I can be very cold. I own my part in the downfall of my marriage but I was always there (when able), never has affairs or cheated, and ensured that everything was provided for her and the kids.

My wife was 39 when she ultimately decided to file, she's 40 now. I 100 percent agree that something in a woman's DNA goes haywire at that age... it's not a matter of "that's what it seems like," thats is god's honest truth.

It was exactly as you described with the whole,"searching for freedom" and the exact words "I don't know how much time I have left" had been spoken at least 3 times over the last two weeks. She has also been plying the whole, going out until all hours of the morning (1am one morning, 4am another) game which I'm just over.

Hang in there dudes and although it's shitty, it's good to see I'm not alone in this fucking boat.

azwildcat74 · 2022-08-19T14:25:12+00:00

Brother, your stbx sounds like a living red flag herself. Time to focus on you and work on yourself. Work to understand why you'd ever accept a piece of shit like that into your life so you don't make the same mistake again.

JD-Anderson · 2022-08-19T12:21:41+00:00

The type of people my ex and your ex are, when they approach 30 they can get weird, when they approach 40 they go off the rails. I was joking with a friend the other day, since the divorce my ex hasn’t dated a guy that is better than me. The last two relationships were with guys that didn’t even have their own place. I’m talking even just a one room apartment, nope. Taking license plates off your car when you park it so it doesn’t get repo’ed? Etc.

I told my buddy I wasn’t sure if it was flattering she was going to the bottom of the barrel, or insulting. I would say well over 50% of the women I’ve dated since the divorce are better than the ex. But we look for different things in women than they look for in us. I’m of the understanding she is with the last guy just because he was willing to walk down the aisle with her, even though she had to pay for her own ring. That guy fell on my sword, he’s my hero.

No_Analyst_9131 · 2022-08-19T15:09:44+00:00

I have found the best way to move on is be living better than you were when you left. Three months after my divorce was finalized, I got a job offer for 50% more than what I was making, had already started the process of buying a multifamily house (one unit for me, the other to be rented out to pay the mortgage lol) and had been getting attention from women who were much hotter than my ex (no desire to do anything other than a date, this reddit has taught me that much at least).

I also took the opportunity to try out the hobbies I never was able to try when I was with the ex, and realized I really had been missing out. Long story short, lean into the whole aspect of taking care of yourself and yourself only, and things do generally change for the better. The only thing I can't speak on is the whole CS bullshit; I didn't want kids (and thankfully avoided them).

stent00 · 2022-08-19T15:32:25+00:00

Women always go for the downgrade. Mine did and was feeling out if our marriage was really that bad .. I told her I spent 3 years in therapy getting over it and it's water under the bridge. Her new hubby verbally abuses my kid. Can't keep a job and is a very anti social bitter dude. Most women think the grass is greener on the other side . But 90% of the time it's not and they regret it.

CRobinsFly · 2022-08-19T13:17:45+00:00

Just wanted to add that I kinda envy your situation because your ex's AP is so clearly a loser and she's dug herself into such a deep hole because of this.

Particular-Pie23 · 2022-08-19T15:09:33+00:00

Your ex is a walking red flag too. Don’t dump it all on the AP. They both suck. She just leveled into her own comfort level because she couldn’t reach your standards. It’ll take time for her to do better for herself or just settle for not having to try. She’s got someone who “loves her for who she is” DUIs and all. Eventually, she might wake up and have some expectations of him. Going from great to shit is a romantic fairytale at first, then the shit starts to stink.

Just get it in the custody papers that she can’t have new partners around the kids for a year. Make her work on your terms and what’s best for the kids. They don’t need to see her with some idiot like that.

Classic_Dill · 2022-08-19T15:42:41+00:00

Want to really know why?

OK

Your 20's : You like chocolate, i like chocolate, you think I'm cute, i think your cute...lets get into a relationship!

Plus 40 after a divorce: Ahhhh, yea you're cute and all but, ill need to see your financial statements, your hobbies, your world views, i also require intel on what broke up your past marriage,who your friends are, maybe a past body count and i need to know everything you dig sexually before i even go on date 2 with you :)

Namaste Mother F@cker! Lol

Islandboy2000 · 2022-08-19T15:02:16+00:00

What is an AP?

Significant-Bother-1 · 2022-08-19T16:50:31+00:00

My STBXW picked a real gem in her AP. multiple threats last year, TRO against him last year. Continued to see him on and off. Followed her on a trip recently and she called me bawling on the phone and hyperventilating about it.

derelictherds · 2022-08-19T20:15:22+00:00

All of my replacements (except for maybe one) have been losers. I don't stalk the ex or her boyfriends on socm, etc, but i do background check the people she brings into my daughter's life. Be prepared for her to hit you up when shit hits rock bottom.

Reformedahole · 2022-08-19T23:21:49+00:00

your ex and AP sound the same… both worthless

YoloSwaggity5000 · 2022-08-21T12:52:20+00:00

Ignore her. . . She's most likely hoping that you pay attention.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2022-11-25T21:43:04+00:00

Can't understand it myself either, stbx is going all in on a twice divorced nearly 50 year old slob (she is mid 30s) who makes less than her much less 1/3 of me, is a known cheater and clearly looks older than her. Her claim is like all the others "I was just so unhappy".

It must be a ticking time bomb in all women, the similarities in all the stories I read is nuts!

Title	AP is a douche canoe
Author	IncreaseCommercial71
Upvotes	30
Comments	61
Date	August 19, 2022 4:51 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ws4xim/ap_is_a_douche_canoe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ap-is-a-douche-canoe.1128869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128869

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