child support fair amount???

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-12-16T16:34:47+00:00

Rule #1 of this sub: Do not take legal advice from your ex or opposing counsel. She doesn't have your best interests at heart. And she didn't suddenly wake up one morning with perfect understanding of the legal system. So stop treating her like she's an expert.

Child Support is a formula. Every state has a calculator available online. Go plug in your numbers and you can figure out yours. And when it comes to her income, at a minimum you're going to use full-time minimum wage for your area. If she's got a college degree or prior work experience, then pay the $5k to have a vocational evaluation performed. It will save you money in the long run by reducing the support amount.

Do not agree to pay for college unless your state requires it (some do, most don't).

mehmench · 2022-12-16T17:48:00+00:00

Review the guideline: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/child-support-guidelines

Speak to an attorney.

Don't take legal advice from your ex.

jimsmythee · 2022-12-16T19:07:32+00:00

Don't look at expenses. She'll inflate those numbers and expenses, so even if you were Elon Musk you would still be broke.

Google "your state" and "Child support calculator". That will give you an accurate estimate of what you SHOULD be paying. Not what she is requesting.

Don't let your STBXW tell you how much money she needs. Only let the court decide that, with proper evidence.

reacthookmebaby · 2022-12-16T20:30:13+00:00

There is no way you should have to pay 2/3 of your take home to her.. no way. I don't care what state you live in. Does she work? You didn't mention if she is a stay home mom.. or works.. or CAN work?

The reason I tell everyone now.. make sure if you plan on marriage.. you a) do a prenup.. and b) make sure you know what you're going to deal with if things dont work out..

is because of this bullshit. Alimony was supposed to allow the other person who made less.. or didn't work.. some semblance of "ability to survive" while getting on their feet. It was NEVER meant to allow them to barely work or not work.. for the rest of their lives.. while the other party works all the time and barely survives. That's bullshit.

How can you survive.. if 2/3 of your take home goes to her? If she can barely survive on it? That's not to say.. you will ALSO be spending money on the kids too.. and some how pay rent, food, car, etc.. no way. Even if the $2K or so a month left over is enough for you to live in a cardboard box.. that's still not right. Why does she get to live in a home and survive while you struggle at best? It is supposed to be "fair" in that.. she gets enough while you still have enough to survive too. If you're required to have a 1bedroom place (e.g. boys get the bedroom when staying with you.. you sleep on the couch..) and that place costs 2K a month.. how are you going to live on 200 a month for everything else?

So.. NO WAY that is what will happen. The amount is adjusted based on what she can do for earning.. so minimum wage full time (which should be what.. about 30K a year or so) and what you earn. If she can bring in about 1400 a month take home.. and you bring 5K.. you give her 2000 at most.. so her 1400+2000 gives her 3400 a month.. and you got 3K a month.. which is still bullshit.. but at least its more balanced.

The biggest problem with divorce is child support. A lot of courts don't give a shit if you have to work 3 jobs.. they will set child support to some level.. and you have no choice. It's utter bullshit. What is worse.. is you go get a second job.. to make ends meet.. so you can eat some food and visit a doc from time to time if need be.. and she gets to go after you AGAIN for that money too. That's so so so much bullshit.

I swear.. when we are in our 20s or so.. and getting married.. we're in love. .things are great.. nothing can go wrong. We don't plan for or think about divorce. Hell that's taboo. But man.. if there is ONE THING every man (or.. woman these days.. who makes money) SHOULD think about.. is what happens if they get divorced.. and set things up so that they are not screwed.

Really marriage should require.. FORCE 3 accounts.. "joint" account where each party puts half their take home.. THAT account is for ALL Things marriage.. house, food, kids, cars, etc. Then.. the other half is YOUR MONEY. Save it. Spend it. Use it on a bigger home, etc. Whatever. But in divorce that account.. is NOT touchable by the other half. Period. And.. no matter what.. 10 kids, 1 kid, whatever.. at the very most.. a person can lose half.. no more than that.. of their take home.. from their highest paid job. If the person gets a 2nd job.. that is purely for them. Why should the other half get MORE money because the guy (usually) is willing to work a 2nd job to have a life? How the fuck is it fair that the person now working two jobs has to give even more money to the person not working.. not willing to work?

Marriage is a fucking business.. a big one that lawyers make billions on every year.. so you can bet your ass shit wont change because a lot of lawyers would be out of jobs.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-12-16T16:38:48+00:00

Do you think the family courts care about how you live off of $600/month? They'd be happy if you're living on the streets but paying your child support.

Stories like yours are why feminists try so hard to shut down any discussion about men's rights. Because if more men saw what divorce is like, no one would fund their irresponsible lifestyle.

starscream1479 · 2022-12-16T18:22:46+00:00

do you plan on doing joint custody ?

theres a math to the child support , including both your yearly incomes.

and the amount of days you have yours kids overnight.

get a lawyer , never let ur ex or her legal counsel decide for you , they absolutely want to fuck you in the ass.

im currently going thru a custody battle and divorce.

playerknowmore · 2022-12-16T19:07:15+00:00

Make it clear what the court says is what you pay. If you are like me, she had all of your money before; now you have to live for you.

Seems to me she is trying to reduce your value to a point no other woman wants you. Women leave, but if you are dumb enough to leave a back door open; she will keep it open until they realize you were probably the best they could get.

Dontgetmarriedever · 2022-12-17T03:03:46+00:00

I’m going through the same thing. Doesn’t matter how long you were married for. It all depends on how much SHE makes compared to you.. If your a dr. And she is a stay at home mom that can’t read. Your fucked. Hopefully she has a degree or a trade or some work experience. Hopefully she is employed that will help you. This is not legal advice. Get a lawyer immediately!! My ex is a RN. I’m a plumber. Her lawyer told her to stop working to fuck me over and get alimony. Which we were only married for 5 years. My lawyer subpoenaed some texts between her boss and I caught her telling her boss that her lawyer told her to stop working which makes her lawyer look really bad. Anyway. It doesn’t matter what you make. It all comes down to how far apart you are on pay. The second big thing that matters is CUSTODY! Don’t fucking move out of the house! If you give up your rights as a dad you might not ever get them back.. FIgHT FOR YOUR KIDS! Don’t give up man. Even if your done and you just want to give up. DONT! You can’t bro. You have to get 50/50 custody. This is where you really need a lawyer. There are all kinds of different custody. You can have 50/50 legal custody and she can have 100% physical custody at the same time. It’s really fucked up. Her lawyer will try to trick you. The best thing you can do is get 50/50 physical and 50/50 legal custody. The more custody you have close to 50/50 the less amount of child support. If you haven’t been the best dad. It’s time to step the fuck up bro. BE A GOOD dad! Go to parent teacher conference go to all your kids dr appointments. Know your kids schedule. Know their teachers names. Have the kids teacher send you everything too.. #3 which is very important as well. Don’t talk shit about your EX in front of the kids/don’t FIGHT in front of the kids … even if she talks shit about you and says horrible things about you. Don’t say shit to the kids about their mom. This one is also hard. Your ex knows what to say to you to make you furious. Which brings me to number 4! DONT TEXT HER HATEFUL SHIT. LET HER be stupid. Record her with your phone if she wants to fight. DONT put anything in a text that might be read in front of a judge one day! If you have a bunch of texts that make you look like an asshole it will really hurt your credibility. Bottom line try to end it amicably but be prepared for a trial. A judge is going to side with the parent “best for the kids” which means the parent that is the most CREDIBLE.. good luck man. Hang in there. I’ve been going through my divorce for 18 months now. It’s hell. I’ve never been so stressed. I wanted to give up. I mean really give up.. just remember you have to keep fighting. Do it for your kids.

Jason92503 · 2022-12-17T10:06:00+00:00

Get 50/50 custody. Thats a must to lower child support. Does she work? If she doesn't you are screwed. If you been married more that 7 years (California) it's life time alimony, unless she gets remarried. I pay my ex 1400 a month, have 60/40 custody. Her 60. She makes around $30 dollars an hour. I make $50 an hour. Oh, and i get to pay half of child care also. I learned my lesson. My current wife makes more than me.

RideATX · 2022-12-16T16:39:05+00:00

Massachusetts sucks for men. Here's a quick summary of what you can expect.

http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Massachusetts

As dday said, ignore her & talk to a lawyer. Don't agree to anything or pay her anything that isn't court ordered. Good luck brother.

GoldPotential6298 · 2022-12-16T20:22:21+00:00

As everyone else has already said: Talk to a lawyer and ignore what she says she wants.

I make a substantial amount of money ($300k) while the ex was a SAHM and with two kids I only pay $1650 per month in child support. I live in a different state and pay a large amount of short term alimony too but she is trying to screw you.

gnackered · 2022-12-16T21:54:01+00:00

I dumped some numbers into this calculator. I gave her a weekly income of $600, and a cheap childcare of $100/wk and it says you are paying her $230/wk

https://www.amherstdivorce.com/ma-child-support-calculator-html

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-12-16T22:20:56+00:00

Wow. Just wow. I live in the uk and dumped my figures into the calculator. Under uk law I pay the equivalent to $1100 per month for two kids on just under a 50/50 split. Using the mass Calc I’d owe £2550 per month, just under 50% of my income. How anyone can absorb that amount and pay to live is beyond reason. That’s horrifying.

AndyHoughton651 · 2022-12-17T02:22:53+00:00

If you look at the form, paying more than 40% of your income is considered undue hardship. $750 is more than 40% of gross. You need to hire the best lawyer you can find. They will know the reality in the courts and ways to reduce the amount you need to pay.

It sucks, but it will get better.

FunkyTownMascot · 2022-12-17T10:42:27+00:00

Depending on your state, college funding is ridiculous. It's not a thing in my state. The children will be adults at that point.

Get an attorney and don't agree to ANYTHING she shows you or tells you.

Divorce is devastation for all. Kids included. But, MA I think allows CS up to age 26 which is a fucking joke. You need an attorney.

Small-University-875 · 2022-12-16T17:01:01+00:00

I was in a similar situation, she told me that child support would be $1300 a month. Which she didn't say at the time was calculated as if she was getting full custody. I obviously did not allow her to get full custody and now I will be paying $700 a month.

pk2at · 2022-12-16T16:51:06+00:00

How did she figure out your income?

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-12-16T18:05:15+00:00

Give her an amount that you think is fair. Also if you give her this much now you will get stuck because she ll use it in court against you. Keep track of everything you give her so she doesn't get you for back pay. College fund is fucking bullshit she just wants to leave you with nothing. Fuck that give her the bare minimum until it gets settled in court. These women want to control you your entire life. Whatever you give she gives the same amount if you give her 300 she ll have to put 300 also

FeedAlone · 2022-12-16T17:01:17+00:00

You’re thinking about it wrong. “Child support” is a bad name. It is actually an income stream of positive long term value.

jkw118 · 2022-12-16T21:52:50+00:00

Usually you would pay 250-400 /month per kid.. depending on the cost of living etc.. their are other factors as well..

samk002001 · 2022-12-16T23:21:58+00:00

She can give you a hundred page long of papers! Don’t pay anything unless court asked you to.

ToddHaberdasher · 2022-12-16T23:56:03+00:00

I make it work with 275 a week after support is taken.

If I ever start to struggle with it, I am confident that I can find a job for the evenings and one for the weekends.

xjeeperx · 2022-12-17T01:42:27+00:00

Paying her more than 1/2 your net pay is bs, but I will say that $2400 a month net is a livable wage, not gonna be going on lavish vacations, but you’re still much better off than some people.

2022-12-17T03:53:18+00:00

This amount seems way off! which state are you in? are you planning on joint, shared, or sole custody?

Don't sign anything, don't negotiate anything, don't communicate anything. Lawyer up Asap. Get the best lawyer you can afford. don't leave the house or you will be hit with the abandonment of domicile, don't send any messages that can be used against you. if you still living with her, carry a recording device and record all interactions.

Make sure your finances are alright, if you have money in your bank account take your 50% before it gets whipped out.

You may think I am paranoid, but divorce can get ugly quickly, and many lawyers especially in the US will advise clients to fire the silver bullet to secure a very advantageous position. If you need any feedback pm me, but ultimately you need a lawyer.

Is she disabled? no, well she can get a job then.

derelictherds · 2022-12-17T20:20:12+00:00

Every state has a formula for calculating child support, but in general it's based on parenting time and both parent's gross income. Stop being foolish and talk to a lawyer.

Title	child support fair amount???
Author	Shoddy_Cantaloupe190
Upvotes	13
Comments	51
Date	December 16, 2022 4:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/znip00/child_support_fair_amount/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-support-fair-amount.1143644 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143644

Comments